Disclaimer: I do not nor have I ever owned Twilight

Chapter Two: A Life Shattered

Walking out of his apartment block into the cold February morning Edward pulled up the collar of his coat around his neck. The last thing he needed right now was a cold. He also watched his steps closely he didn't need to fall into the light dusting of snow that had fallen in the night.

The snow, that he in fact had watched fall since one am this morning. Dark circles hid under his eyes from lack of sleep the previous night. Edward had laid awake thinking after consuming a large amount of Jack Daniels, two bottles to be exact, in his apartment again lonesome. He just hadn't the balls to call anyone over or even contact Bella as earlier planned.

The snow falling was symbolic of his life from now on; a white blanket covering everything he used to know and becoming a canvas for the time he had left. Without Chemo; months to live, with Chemo; anything up to two years before his body would start to shut down. He'd gripped his hair tightly at that, almost yanking a tufted out. How was he supposed to get anything done when Chemo was twice a month for three months rendering him sick for about three days after?
Fuck the Chemo just do shit quickly The irrational side of his brain commanded You could have another six months ahead of you!

You'd never get enough time to do anything that way! The rational side of his brain reminded him Never patch things up with Rosalie. Never marry Tanya. Never see BELLA again and we both know how much you miss her douche bag. Imagine shortening your parent's time with you? Do you really want them to watch you spend the majority of those supposed six months slipping away in a hospital bed? What about Jasper's band huh, all pieces of music you wrote for him...PROMISED to write for him in fact? Stop being such an idiot and do as Dr Earnest suggested; take the Chemo and plan around it.

After hours of the fierce battle raging inside his head between both parties he decided to listen to the rational side which whooped triumphantly at the other side. However after the last snow flake fell at 5 am he picked up a small pad of paper to make a list.

What to do before Chemo starts next week:

Speak to Tanya
Tell The Family
Tell Friends
Cam Bella
Write Out Will
Get A Will Made Officially

He thought this over for a while neither adding nor taking away anything he was quite happy with the small list for this week. That is how he decided to take things – week by week until his body started to crumble. That thought alone sent him back onto the JD as first light appeared outside of his window accompanied by one lone tear that slid down his face.

Back in the street; on the outside he looked like any normal man on his way to work; jeans and a crisp white shirt with red tie on top. Bronze hair combed perfectly with a slight gelled figure. However Edward, was not on his way to work but to meet his girlfriend; Tanya for a lunch with an ulterior motive. A few girls passed by him giving him the usual looks due to his handsomeness but today he ignored them instead of his usual playful wink.

The little cafe was quite at this time due to it being the beginning of the lunch hour making plenty of places to sit. He smiled sadly to himself this was where he and Tanya had spent their first date.
'Cullen.' He addressed the waiter who sat you at the table. The man nodded and showed him to his table in the far corner looking onto China Town again this is where they first sat when they'd dined that night. 'I'd like a bottle of wine and two glasses please.' The waiter nodded and shuffled off towards the bar.

What do I say to her? He mused slightly panicky Do I just come right out and tell her or do I wait until we've eat? Do I say Tanya baby I have cancer and its terminal or put it my subtly? Tanya I have cancer. I need you to be by my side until I'm gone... He was almost at ripping his hair out stage again when both the wine came and Tanya walked in.

She was as pretty as ever strawberry blonde hair in ringlets down her face while the rest was tied up in a bun wearing a simple white blouse and grey pants set with black slip ons, though to him she looked like a super model. He kissed her softly as she sat down before pouring her wine.
'Some ones in a hurry to get back to work on time.' She giggled taking a sip of her wine. Edward smiled taking more than a sip of his own.
'How are you?' He asked in between drafts.

'I'm great baby.' Tanya grinned 'Hoping to be promoted from secretary to assistant.'
'There's a difference?' Edward laughed topping up his glass with a slightly shaky hand while he tried to keep the conversation happy.
Tanya lent forward and slapped his arm lightly 'Of course it is! This means I'll get to use the cameras and learn how to switch the lens and such.' Her dream was to be a photographer for weddings so she'd taken an apprenticeship under Jay Pierre Colt who told her she would work her way up and he would train her.

Edward sat there nodding and smiling whilst she talked about her week so far he did nothing save for pouring the wine and ordering their food.
'So,' Tanya said finally as she speared a piece of chicken from her Caesar salad 'How are you?' Everything froze for Edward then, the time had come; the flood gates were about to open. He took one long draft of his wine before looking her in the eye.
'The reason I called you here is due to the answer of that very question.' Edward said slowly.

He's going to dump me... Tanya's mind screamed at her I should dump his first! It wasn't that she was an unpleasant woman it was just that she firmly believed no woman should be the dumpee.
'I have Cancer.' Edward rushed out when she started to open her mouth. Her mouth dropped then while her eyes widened He did not just say that! I heard him wrong! Her mind protested.
'It's terminal baby.' He said lowly gaze never faltering 'I only found out yesterday. If I have Chemo, which I plan to, I could have anything up to two years.'

Tears started to trickle from her eyes and pour down her cheeks onto the salad leafs. This is not happening. Edward is joking; trying to wind me up! He's not dying..he's not!
'Tanya?' Edward spoke softly reaching out to touch her shoulder, jolt her back to reality which it did. He watched the light switch back on in her eyes 'Baby I'm going to need you so much. To help me through it all I-' His speech came to a halt when the squeak of her chair moving back echoed loudly round the room 'T-Tanya?' Edward stuttered nervously.

She jumped to her feet yanking her coat on quickly. Other patrons stopped their conversations and feedings to watch what would enfold between the two.
'I can't do this Edward.' She said shaking her head furiously splaying tears everywhere 'I just can't.'
A look of terror crossed his features 'Can't do what?'
'I can't be with you only to lose you in a year or so. I'm sorry...so sorry.' Tanya cried almost running out of the restaurant, not once looking back.

Edward sat in a state of shock routed to his seat even after the other diners turned back to their previous ministrations. His face moulded into one of rejection and hurt. The most important person in his life; the one he needed more than the others had just walked away from him forever. He was left to pick up the pieces of his shattered heart and life alone until he died and die alone he would by the sounds of things. Even the waiter did not return for a while but when he did it was with the bill and a complementary bottle of wine.

She's gone...She doesn't want damaged goods...Who would? He thought to himself as he left the restaurant in a zombie like state. He had to tell his parents and siblings with no one there to comfort him as he did so. Oh fuck I've got to tell Bella and Emmett... He realised as he pulled out his pad of paper crossing off Tanya on the list and replacing it in his pocket.

This next week is going to be hell He thought to himself before walking back to his apartment. He needed to arrange going home...

So yeah I know it's sad. And no Edward isn't going to get cured.

I'm sick of Bella dying fics and decided to have an Eddie one instead.

Neway yeah hope you're all ok guys!

Rufus