The rest of the crew were recuperating in the common area, drinking steaming mugs of a sweet, spicy tea they had picked up at the market a few days ago. He had quietly left them about half an hour ago, feeling Kanan's appraising eyes follow him as he walked to his room.

Zeb found him sitting on his bunk. His arms were wrapped around his legs, his eyes staring resolutely at some point at the opposite wall, feeling hopelessly lost by the day's events.

"Hey, kid."

Ezra didn't acknowledge him, just curled up more tightly. He felt the tension build inside him, coiled like a spring, ready to snap if pushed.

The Lasat rubbed the back of his head sheepishly.

"I just wanted to say… You did good out there, kid."

Ezra's eyes snapped upwards, anguish in his gaze.

"Did I? 'Cause I thought so a few hours ago, but I'm not so sure anymore."

Zeb shuffled in place, looking perplexed.

"What do you mean? What happened?"

Ezra shook his head.

"Nothing. I just… what happened out there, I didn't mean to do it. I didn't mean to push Kallus."

The Lasat snorted indelicately.

"What, you didn't mean to save me? Disappointed that the Agent didn't finish me off?"

"No! I wanted to help you. But I didn't mean to push him. I just reached and then he was moving. That was all it took."

"Are you worried that you'll maybe get upset with someone else and they'll end up a smear on the wall? 'Cause that's what the training's for. That's why Kanan is taking you for an apprentice, so you can control it."

"I know that, but Zeb, it happened so fast! I was scared and desperate and then Kallus was flying through the air. I could have killed him."

The Lasat growled softly.

"Maybe you should have."

Ezra shook his head vehemently. The words came tumbling out of him, old memories pushing to the forefront of his mind.

"I've seen things, on the streets. I've met bad people and I know what happens when you give people power. They abuse it, every time. No one's infallible, no one's innocent. You give someone a leg up and they'll crawl over everyone else to stay on top."

"Wait a second, I thought we were talking about you and your Jedi stuff."

"We are!"

"Well, I don't see the problem. Kanan will train you and you'll be able to use it right, no more mistakes."

Ezra looked down, feeling miserable.

"Have you talked to Kanan about this?"

"I doubt Kanan would understand. I don't think he's ever had a reason to doubt what he was doing was right."

The Lasat sighed.

"You'd be surprised, kid. But I know what you mean."

He cocked his head, looking at the boy thoughtfully.

"You know, Kanan is chock full of high and mighty ideals about how a Jedi should be. He's got good reasons for wanting to do things the right way. So he might be a bit blind to what exactly he's asking you to commit to. You aren't like the Jedi of old, and I don't think that's a bad thing. The Jedi were noble and brave and did a world of good for this galaxy. But in the end, they died and the Old Religion died with them. Things have changed, no matter what Kanan wants to believe. I'm not saying that what they stood for isn't worth fighting for, but if you've got to be the street rat that survived seven years on his own in order to keep yourself alive, then do it. Don't worry about being right every time, 'cause you won't be."

"But Zeb, it's not just on me if I mess up. These… powers, they're bigger than I am. What if I screw up big time? What if I hurt someone?"

"We all have the ability to do bad things. Some of us are better at that than others. But what you got to remember is that it isn't about us and what we want. It's what we can do for everyone else. If you mess up, you keep on moving and do better next time. You remember that and you'll be alright, kid."

The Lasat looked uncomfortable at having spoken so much, but clearly saw that Ezra needed further convincing.

"Look, while I don't know the first thing about Force powers or any of that mumbo jumbo, I do know Kanan and he will do all he can to turn you into the best Jedi you can be. I don't think he'll let you develop into some power-hungry maniac. And from what I've seen, you've been caught on the wrong side of things enough that you would never abuse your power that way."

Ezra almost recoiled at that before he recovered, hands twitching, instinctually feeling the need to flee or lash out and defend himself from the memories that were assaulting him. Though he could tell Zeb's words were kindly meant, they were far closer to home than was comfortable. Just breathe, he told himself. It's in the past. It can't hurt you.

Needing to gain some semblance of control, Ezra quirked an eyebrow and smiled shakily at the older man.

"Wow, Zeb. You were almost eloquent."

Looking grateful for the exit Ezra offered him, the Lasat growled softly, but it was all bark and no bite. Still, any return to the comfort of old habits was a relief to both of them.

"Watch yourself. I might be grateful for the save today, but my goodwill only goes so far."

He moved for the door, hesitating at the threshold.

"You know, kid, when you're not trying to act smart, you're alright."

The boy scoffed.

"You're okay yourself, when you're not being a complete jerk."

As he went through the doorway, Zeb's parting shot and favored epithet echoed back at him.

"Ungrateful Lothrat."

Despite himself, Ezra smiled.

A more upbeat chapter next time! As always, leave a review and let me know what you think. A big thank you to everyone who reviewed last time. Also, as of when I am writing this (October 13), a big storm is expected to hit the Pacific Northwest. While my town is pretty safe, a lot of the coast will be hit pretty hard. To everyone affected by the storm, stay safe this weekend! Thanks so much for reading!