Ashley followed Spencer up the stairs wearing her girlfriend's pajama pants and T shirt. The socks were hers, white ankle socks, but everything else belonged to Spencer. She remembered her girlfriend's words as she tossed the pants over to her, 'They'll be easier for me to take off you later. Those pesky jeans and their buttons…' She had murmured before taking her lips. The kissing didn't last long due to her girlfriend's appetite but Ashley still enjoyed it. She also enjoyed the view she had now. Watching Spencer's ass as she walked up the stairs. The rock star was getting hungry for something other than food. "There you two are." Ashley's head snapped up. Paula stood by the table serving Caitlyn a plate of food. "Spencer!" The little girl yelled happily and then met her gaze. Tanned cheeks grew hot, to Ashley's surprise, as she smiled timidly at the little girl. Embarrassed the little girl had seen her naked, she couldn't stop the red tint that filled over her face. Having Spencer's 7 year old cousin see her naked was just awkward. "Ashley!" She yelled out next as if she knew the rock star. "I'm eating lasagna. Do you like lasagna? Mama made it."
Ashley smiled. "I was born programmed to love lasagna. I'm half Italian." She explained when the girl's eyes grew wide. "Cool!" She didn't know anyone who was Italian and was beginning to think Ashley was one of a kind. Italian and a rock star? Who could be cooler? "Can you-"
"That's enough Caitlyn." Paula interrupted. "I'm sure Ashley would rather eat than answer questions."
"I'm sorry." The little blonde murmured staring down at her food.
"It's fine." Caitlyn looked up at Ashley. "You can ask me later." The rock star added with a smile. Excitement fell over the little girl's face, it made Ashley feel good knowing she could put a smile on a kid's face. Children were foreign to her, she didn't know how to deal with them, small and curious, Ashley didn't find it too troubling. In fact, she kind of liked it.
Spencer sat on the left of her cousin while Ashley sat across from them. She watched Caitlyn shovel food into her mouth and smiled over at Ashley. The rock star smiled back and then looked away when Paula served them their food. Both girls murmured a 'Thank You' and then chuckled when the older blonde ditched them to go watch her Soap. "I swear she loves that show more than Caitlyn."
"Hey!" The little girl said around the food in her mouth.
"Kidding." Spencer lightly tapped the tip of her nose. "You know Mama loves you more than anything else on the world." She wrapped an arm around her tiny shoulders. "And I love you too." She added kissing her cheek. "And Ashley too?" Caitlyn asked looking up into gray eyes. They both looked over at the rock star. Ashley couldn't help but smile at the red pasta sauce covering the girl's lips and chin. "Yeah, me too."
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"A drug addict?" Arthur looked over at his wife with an unsure expression. The blonde ER doctor stood under the bathroom doorway gauging her husbands face for a reaction. The tall dark haired man didn't know how to react to his wife's news. His blue eyes moved from her aging face to the running water of his shower. Just as he was about to undress and take a long needed shower, Paula had interrupted him and dropped the Ashley bomb. The idea of Spencer bringing a friend home didn't bother him, she did it all the time, but the idea of her bringing home a lesbian drug addict was unsettling. "I need to soak this in." He took off his shirt and threw the dirty garment aside. Hanging out with the boys had been fun, too much fun from the way he smelled, his nose wrinkled as he caught a whiff of his stale deodorant. "You should have done the same before letting this girl get settled."
"Arthur-"
"You don't know anything about her." He reminded calmly. "If she were someone from around here it wouldn't be much of a problem but she comes from a different world. I don't think Danny and Caitlyn need that kind of influence around them. They've gone through more than enough with Sherry."
Paula nodded slowly. "But Ashley isn't my sister Arthur. She's a seventeen year old girl who needs help." He sighed and looked away. "I just can't send her back to her glam life knowing she'll go out and get high." Her voice softened. "She's really a sweet girl-"
"I understand. I'll see her tomorrow and we'll meet and I'll be kind and respectable as always." Paula smiled her relief. "But if I find out she's still using, and using in this house, she's gone."
"Sounds fair." The blonde walked up to him and wrapped her arms around him. "I really think we can help her." She kissed him briefly and then stepped back holding her nose. "And scrub real good." She pleaded. "You smell terrible."
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Chapter 4
Ashley lied on her side staring intently at the shadow covered blue walls of the room. One arm was tucked under her head while the other lied on top of the comforter. The room was nice and cool, perfect sleeping temperature, she could easily fall asleep to the sounds of the night air around her. In the basement, under the Carlin's roof, she felt comfortable and at ease, nothing plagued her mind, it was better than any hotel room she had ever slept in. "If only Spencer were here." She yawned to herself. The idea of sleeping without her girlfriend was disappointing. She was completely used to it and found herself missing Spencer's warm body pressed up against hers as they slept into the blissful mornings. Ashley closed her eyes as she felt a pang of arousal shoot between her legs. The mornings were always filled with long make out sessions, erotic caresses, and eventually sex- Ashley always woke up a happy girl. Turning over on her back, she laid her left hand over her stomach while the other stayed tucked behind her head. Morning was going to be different this time, she knew it and it didn't bother her as much as she thought it would. Different wasn't always a bad thing, she reasoned remembering the events that took place after dinner. The three girls had gone straight to the game room, after washing their dishes, in the basement and played guitar hero for a couple of hours. Ashley smiled wide at the memory. Caitlyn was a pro while she sucked horribly. Playful banter had filled the room between the two girls, Spencer spoke up every now and then but mostly laughed. Ashley didn't blame her. The rock star could do amazing things with a real guitar but when it came to the small fake one, she couldn't impress anyone. Caitlyn on the other hand had medium mastered and was working on mastering the tricky orange button. The amount of fun they had was almost unreal. Caitlyn had thrown a small fit when Paula came down and interrupted their game. The girl was sad to leave but felt a little better when Paula ordered Spencer to go upstairs and tuck her in. Spencer easily agreed and exchanged simple good nights with her. Ashley saw through the casual words and mouthed 'see you later' which the blonde nodded 'yes' to.
That was two hours ago. Ashley doubted Spencer would show up now, which was probably for the better. The rock star knew sharing a bed with her girlfriend was too tempting. But then again, she barely had enough energy to fuel her thoughts. Her eyes felt heavy, closing them was complete bliss. She felt far from wanting sex, the physical and emotional strain of it all was just too much for her tired body. Border lining wakefulness, Ashley softly snorted at herself. The person she was becoming was far from the person she was. She barely recognized herself. Ashley Davies, groupie fucking, cocaine snorting, guitar playing guro, lied in bed under her girlfriend's parents roof. Who would have thought she'd spend winter break in Ohio instead of LA. "Not me." She murmured softly and then smiled. The door softly opened and then quickly closed. She felt the bed shift and then a warm voice whisper near her ear, "Miss me?" Ashley nodded, barely awake. "Always." She mumbled feeling warm loving arms wrap around her from behind.
The warm secure feeling was enough to push sleep out of her mind. She was finding love to be a powerful emotion. Nothing else compared to it, she thought while opening her eyes. The urge to sleep was dead, replaced with the need to see Spencer's face, gaze into her eyes, which never got old. Turning, she granted her own wish and smiled sleepily at her lover, whose face she could barely make out in the dark. "Do you not care that your parents are just upstairs?" She asked above a whisper.
"No, I don't." Spencer lied on her side, her gray eyes straining to make out the rock star's features. Her right hand stayed busy lightly stroking the skin on Ashley's cheek and neck, enjoying the smooth warm skin under her fingertips. "Besides," She added lightly. "You're worth any amount of punishment they may give me."
"Punishment?" The rock star repeated. "And how would you be punished if your parents caught us like this?"
Pulling her arm back, Spencer rolled over on her back and began stretching. She could feel Ashley's eyes on her, waiting for an answer to a question never thought about. She turned her head and looked at Ashley, a smile playing at her lips. We'll cross that bridge when we get to it. "We're not doing anything wrong lying together like this." She answered lightly. She heard Ashley moved and then felt the rock star hover over her. Their mouths were inches apart, Spencer could feel her warm breath caress her moist lips, arousal immediately shot through her as she dipped her head. The rock star's lips teased her as they lightly brushed over hers and then pulled away. "What if they caught us like this?"
Running her hands down her girlfriend's back, Spencer lifted the hem of her night shirt and began lightly kneading the small of her back. Ashley's tone was soft with a mixture of wonder and apprehension. Her body was physically relaxed, lying to the world as she held her breath, waiting, maybe fearing the answer. What could Spencer say? Her parents wouldn't be happy at all. Ashley knew that, it was too obvious, the question puzzled Spencer. Ashley knew it but she still wanted to hear it. It bothered the blonde. "Then things would get complicated." She cupped the back of her head, "And if they caught me kissing you like this," She captured Ashley's lips and kissed her fiercely. "Then they'd disown me." She murmured moving to take her lover's lips again. Ashley didn't let her. Instead she pulled back and stared down at her.
The idea of Spencer being disowned by her family was deeply disturbing. The amount of love Spencer had for her family was clearly visible. It seemed very natural and strong, a family bond Ashley only dreamed of. How could Spencer risk losing that for her? "And that doesn't bother you?" The blonde inhaled sharply and then quickly exhaled. "Of course it does. Losing them is a devastating thought." She answered honestly and then regretted it when Ashley rolled off her. Her eyes strained to see what her lover was doing, finally, the darkness became frustrating. Spencer sat up and clapped twice, turning the lights on, she was surprised to see Ashley standing, stripping off her night clothes. "What are you doing?"
"Leaving." Ashley answered flatly the answer shocking the blonde. Spencer stared silently at her for a good couple of minutes, watching as she dressed into a simple band shirt and tight jeans. The blonde tried to see the situation through her lover's eyes. She couldn't. "Why are you leaving?" She finally asked breaking the tense air. Ashley looked up, her face emotionless, it was the same look she got whenever Pops was mentioned. "I'm not worth it Spencer." The rock star answered truthfully. "I see what an amazing thing you have with your family and I refuse to take that away from you."
"You're not taking anything away from me." Spencer reassured. "And you're worth the risk Ashley. You're worth everything to me. Why is that so hard for you to understand? Why do you always put yourself down when you don't deserve to be?"
Ashley snorted and then smirked a bit, the dream she had earlier came to mind, it made Spencer's words all the more useless. "Are you saying I'm someone to speak highly of? I'm guessing so considering if I'm not down I'm up." The blonde stared hesitantly at her, Ashley could tell by her facial expression that she was expecting something terrible. The rock star wondered if she could detect the bitchiness in her voice. And then her brown eyes closed and she realized how taunt her shoulder were, how straight her back was, how cruel her words were becoming. Feeling the soothing arms wrap around her neck, she easily swallowed it all down. "Talk to me Ashley." The words were whispered closely to her face. Ashley closed the short distance and wrapped her arms around Spencer, her face resting against her shoulder. "I've done so many fucked up things." She murmured. "I'll never see myself as anything more than a worthless whore." The words weren't meant for Spencer's ears, Ashley was talking to herself, but the blonde heard.
A worthless whore? Spencer pulled back. Her hands dropped from Ashley's waist, watching her lover yawn, she reached out and took her hand. "Lie down with me." She urged the noticeably tired teen down with her on the bed. Ashley settled on her back on the left side of the bed, her arms automatically folding across her chest as she stared up. Lying on her side, Spencer took the right side of the bed watching Ashley carefully. "I don't understand." She started gently. Ashley looked at her. "What you just called yourself." Surprise fell over Ashley's tanned features. "You heard that?" The blonde nodded. "Barely but it was enough."
Ashley sat up, hugging her knees to her chest, she turned her head and rested her cheek on her knees while staring at Spencer. The blonde lied with an uneasy expression on her face. The rock star didn't blame her. Hardly anything that came out of her mouth was comforting. "I had a dream earlier today." Her voice was soft and calm, if it were anyone else, they'd assume Ashley was telling an everyday tale, Spencer knew better. There was too much dread in her eyes for this tale to be ordinary. "Later on I woke up knowing it wasn't a dream." Her eyes shifted off her girlfriend and landed on the open window. "When I was 16 I did this photo shoot in Italy advertising this new designer's clothes. I guess he wanted someone young, famous, and somewhat Italian to sell it. Anyway, the photographer was this handsome guy who wanted me." Ashley remembered the hungry look in his eyes. "Bad. And in the end, he got what he wanted." Her eyes closed as the shameful feeling washed over her. "I gave him a hand job in exchange for coke." His sighs and moans filled her head, disgusting the teen, intensifying the hate she held for herself. "I can't stand myself anymore Spencer." She opened her eyes. Spencer stared compassionately at her, the complete opposite of what Ashley expected. "I never thought about it after it happened, at some point it never exisisted, but now….that and so many other memories are just…coming back to me." She choked out and leaned against Spencer who had sat up wrapping her loving arms around her. She buried her face against her neck, feeling safe, warm and loved. "I really wish I had coke now." Spencer stiffened at the words. "It stopped the memories."
Spencer held Ashley tight feeling anger well up inside her. She didn't understand the rock star's logic. How could she not see cocaine was the cause of everything bad in her life? Close to tears, Ashley told her she gave a guy a hand job for the drug, and yet, the rock star still wanted the white powder. Wanted the high that got her in so much trouble. The rock star yawning in her arms brought her back to reality. "It's late Ash." She urged them down on the bed, Ashley still wrapped in Spencer's arms, "Let's just get some sleep."
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Paula brushed her hair in front of the bathroom mirror, glaring at any visible strands of gray, she had to chuckle at herself. She was getting old but didn't look too bad for a grandma. Good diet and exercise, she assumed. Arthur on the other hand was starting to gain a stomach and lose the black hair she had fallen in love with. "Gray isn't so bad on him." She told herself turning to stare at herself from the side. She wasn't having too much trouble keeping the weight off. "Speaking of weight," She murmured know there were people to feed. Walking out of bathroom, she wondered what Arthur was in the mood for. He was always picky about his breakfast, hating to have the same meal two days in a row. "Eggs are out of the question." She decided staring at her sleeping husband. His loud snores filled the room as he slept soundly on the bed. Paula envied him. He could sleep until 9, unlike herself. She got up at 5, made breakfast, and then left for work having to be at the hospital by 7. She hated the mornings.
The older blonde stepped out of her room and headed toward the kitchen. She held her robe closer to her body as she padded down the stairs. Pancakes sounded good, she though while stepping on the cold tile floor. She fought back a shiver as she opened the pantry door and got out the pancake mix. "Just add water." She smiled as she set it down by the stove. She walked over to the refrigerator and paused.
She closed ice box door and walked over to the window above the sink. Her eyes blinked several times not believing what they saw. Ashley Davies on her front porch in only a t shirt and jeans. Her back was to Paula but that didn't stop the older blonde from noticing the cigarette in her hand. "Poor thing." She said moving towards the kitchen's exit. "She must be freezing to death out there!" She added know it was below 20 degrees outside.
Opening the front door, she stepped out side hugging her robe against herself. Ashley stood at the other end of the porch. Her eyes were far away as she slowly smoked her cigarette. Pensive and taunt, Paula was surprised the 17 year old wasn't shivering. The rock star also failed to notice her presence. Was she that faraway in her own mind? And what was she thinking of. The older blonde stood studying the rock star. Ashley Davies was more than a mystery to her. She just knew basic information. The teen was into drugs, she preferred girls over boys, she was in a band- but the blonde knew there was something more to her. Deep wounds that went far into her skin, down to her core, and controlled her. It was so easy to see, heartbreaking, Paula couldn't help herself. Like her daughter Spencer, she had this overwhelming urge to help her. Because without help, the drugs will have her again. Paula understood that from her sister Sherry, who Ashley reminded her of. Quiet and calm one moment, and then ready to explode the next, was that something else Ashley and her sister had in common? "Ashley." The rock star wasn't startled in anyway, Paula wondered if she was aware of her presence after all. "Aren't you cold? Being from L.A. I assume you're not use to this type of weather."
Ashley looked at her and shook her head. "It feels good out here." She murmured around the cigarette in her mouth. "Refreshing." She added unable to remember the last time she felt the freezing weather so directly. She never felt anything on her skin when she was on cocaine. Standing on the Carlin's porch, she felt alive as the hairs on her arms stood up. For some reason, the uncomfortable numbing freezing weather felt so fucking good to her. "I haven't felt this good in awhile." She added looking away from the older blonde. Her hand reached up and grabbed the cigarette in her hand.
Paula watched as she crumbled the lit stick in the palm of her hand, letting the ashes fall to the grass. "Where do you normally spend the holidays?" She asked conversationally getting Ashley's attention. "It's almost Christmas and your father's sick. I would assume you'd be there with him."
A puzzled look crossed Ashley's face. "How do you know about Pops?" She asked quietly.
"It's all over the news that he's sick." She replied and then realized her lack of manners. "I'm sorry your father's sick Ashley. It must be terrible for you."
"Not really." The answer automatically passed her lips before she could stop it. The confusion on Paula's face was easily noticeable. Ashley was torn between explaining the truth and keeping her great image with her father. Fuck him, she thought bitterly. "To be completely honest Ms. Paula. I hate my father." The confusion on her face immediately turned to horror/shock. How terrible the words must sound coming from a 17 year old girl about her own Dad! "He's a selfish bastard and I'm glad he's dying."
Her voice trembled. Paula wondered if it was from the cold air or the emotions running through her body. Either way- the blonde knew Ashley was finished with the subject. She could tell by the look in her eyes that she was shook up enough by it. "Why don't we go inside and you can help me out around the kitchen."
Now it Ashley's turn to be surprised. She thought Paula would send her packing for the hate filled comment. Who would want someone so fucked up in their home? The rock star didn't understand but didn't question it any further. It was giving her a head ache. "Sounds fun." She answered and then followed the older blonde inside.
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Gray eyes were open and newly awake as Spencer reached out for her girlfriend. Nothing. She swallowed down her disappointment and turned her head, thinking Ashley might be in the bathroom. Nothing. She sat up and yawned while her hand raked through her blonde hair. "Oh where could my little lover be?" She asked herself getting off the bed. She stretched thoroughly and then straightened up. She debated on changing her clothes or not. She wore a simple tank top with short cotton shorts. Perfect sleeping attire, Spencer had slept like a baby. "Oh." She murmured as soon as she opened the bedroom door. The smell of freshly cooked food filled her senses. She hadn't smelled anything so good in forever. Her feet quickly moved up the stairs and she found herself at the kitchen in record time, not believing her eyes as she stood at the door way.
Ashley and her mother stood by the stove talking while chopping fruits. Well her mother did most of the talking while Ashley nodded and continued working on breakfast. Spencer enjoyed the sight and smell of everything. Ashley feeling left out was her biggest fear coming to Ohio. She didn't think it was going to be a problem now. Walking up to the two, she looked at her mother."Good morning." She kissed her cheek and then pulled back. "Hey you." She told Ashley joyfully, a smile gracing her features as she moved forward and gave her a morning kiss on the cheek.
Ashley looked at Paula. She didn't seem fazed by her daughter's action. She looked at Spencer. "Morning." Her eyes scanned up and down her body. "You have to be cold in that." She met her lover's eyes again. Spencer chuckled. "Then warm me up if you're so concerned." She looked at the stove. "One of these delicious looking pancakes should do the trick."
The rock star had other ideas. Warming Spencer up with food was not one of them.
"Since you love these pancakes so much you can go ahead and take my spot here." Paula met Spencer's gaze holding the knife out to her. "Just keep chopping and give it to Ashley you're finished. I have to get ready for work."
Spencer took the knife with a playful gaze. "You really want me cooking for your family?"
"I'm sure you'll do fine with Ashley around. She seems to know what she's doing." Paula winked at the rock star before turning and exiting the room, leaving Ashley grinning at her lover.
"I guess she likes me." She tilted her head to the side a bit, contemplating something with a mischievous look in her eyes. "She's not that bad looking either…"
"Oh don't you go there." Spencer chuckled closing the distance between them. "There's only one Carlin in this house for you." She wrapped her arms around Ashley's waist, gazing into her dark brown eyes as Ashley wrapped her arms around her. "Fine by me." The rock star murmured. "I'm not into MILFs anyway." Spencer laughed burying her face into Ashley's neck. "You did not just call my mom a MILF!" She exclaimed against her lover's shirt. Ashley smirked. "She qualifies as one." Spencer looked up at her. "You're serious?" Ashley nodded. "They're everywhere in L.A." She kissed Spencer's cheek. "It's alright though." She said near her ear. "Brenda's one too. You'll get used to them."
"Them?" Spencer chuckled. "You make these attractive mature women sound like aliens." She slid her hands down Ashley's back. "Do you see my mom as an alien?"
"Not just your mom." Ashley nibbled along her lover's ear feeling Spencer's hands slip in her back jean pockets. "You too."
Spencer looked at her. "Me too?"
Ashley nodded. "You're foreign to me." She pressed her forehead against Spencer's, feeling their soft breaths mingle as they gazed into one another's eyes, Ashley fought hard to keep from kissing blissful lips. "So foreign yet familiar- I feel like I've known you for centuries when we've just met. And believe me it has nothing to do with drugs. I'm just so in love with you. Is that crazy?"
"Not at all." Spencer whispered. "I feel the same way." She pressed her lips softly against Ashley's. "And it has something to do with drugs." She murmured kissing her again. " Because you're my drug." She urged Ashley's against the counter as their lips met again, tender yet demanding, Spencer pressed harder against the rock star. "And I never want to let you go."
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Ashley watched her hands move along the strings of her acoustic guitar. The fresh smell of pancakes surrounded her as she sat in the kitchen. Sitting on a stool in the corner of the large room, Ashley looked up at Spencer. She sat on the kitchen table eating a couple of pancakes while doing a crossword puzzle in the newspaper. Everything seemed very surreal at the moment. The famous rock star couldn't believe she was sitting in her girlfriend's mother's kitchen with a full belly and sober mind. She stared back at her guitar while her foot unconsciously tapped along to the music. She was with Samantha this time last year. Doing drugs, having sex, and always partying- complete opposite of what she was doing now. Did she miss it? She couldn't help but wonder while stopping to tighten a string. After finishing breakfast, Spencer had grabbed her hand and led them to the table where they ate. Well, where she ate while listening to her girlfriend talk. Spencer mostly spoke of childhood memories, most of them Ashley couldn't relate too, but still managed to give feedback with a smile or chuckle. And then she finished eating and felt strangely out of place. It was then she decided to get her guitar out and play something. The guitar was the only thing she had kept from her past life. Past life, Ashley thought strangely. Were things really that different now?
"Where did you learn to play that?"
The sound of her lover's voice whipped her back to reality. Ashley's head snapped up and for a second she was confused by the amazement in vibrant gray eyes. It all came together when she realized the song her guitar was singing. 'Since you've been gone.' "Kyla." She answered over the music. "I played it for her a while back." She revealed with a thoughtful look on her face. "In mo- Brenda's kitchen." She laughed a bit shakily as her mother and sister came to mind. "I guess being in the same setting brought it back to me." She looked around, "Big kitchen, pretty girl-" She smiled at Spencer. "All that's missing is an annoying skater boy wannabe sitting at my feet."
Spencer noticed the way her brown eyes left hers and fell on the ground. She looked sad as she kept playing the song. "You miss them." Spencer realized as she stood from her seat watching Ashley nod a little. The blonde stopped in front of the rock and took the guitar off her lap. Setting it on the ground, she watched Ashley look curiously up at her. Spencer stood between her spread legs wrapping her arms around Ashley's neck and gazing into her eyes, she began stroking the back of her hair. "Give them a call Ash." She held the rock star tighter feeling her hands on her waist and face press against her stomach. "You'll feel a lot better." She promised.
"You're right." Ashley agreed as her hands slid up to the hem of her shirt. Her fingers moved on their own accord and slowly slid the blonde's tank top up, exposing the creamy skin over barely visible abs. "So right." She sucked lightly on the skin above Spencer's bellybutton, her fingers teasing the skin on the back of her thighs, she felt them quiver as her tongue ran into a red waist band. "Ashley," Her girlfriend whispered as her tongue slipped under the stretchy material and teased the top of her panties. Groaning her frustration, she watched Spencer move away from her and quickly fix her appearance.
Two seconds later Paula walked back in.
Ashley's heart all of a sudden sped up.
"It smells delightful in here." Paula exclaimed looking at the girls. She paused on Ashley noticing the scared look on her face. "Is something wrong? You look a little pale." The rock star immediately shook her head standing from the stool. "I'm just tired." She explained nervously. Could the older blonde see through the lie? "I was up pretty early- I'm just tired." She repeated.
"How about I make you some tea? You can go lie down on the couch or the room, which ever you prefer." Paula offered sounding very much like a concerned mother. The tone bothered Ashley. Anger welled up inside her, she bit her lower lip and nodded. "I'll go to the room. Oh and no tea. Thanks for the offer though." She walked out of the room and headed towards the basement. She hated hearing the concern in a mother's voice. How she craved it as a little girl, especially when sick. Ashley cringed at the thought as her hand wrapped around the door knob. Being sick on tour was hell. Her father never helped her feel better. No one did.
Ashley collapsed on the guestroom bed. Her mind didn't drift anywhere interesting, which was fine by her. For the first time in awhile she had nothing negative to think about. And the negative thoughts that floated in a black cloud over her head were being ignored. "Kyla." She sighed and then turned her head. She was missing her little sister more and more each day. Since she could remember, she had called the younger girl at least twice a week. Hearing her sister's voice always made her feel better. "Sorry ma but I can't stay away." She reached out and grabbed her phone. Dialing Kyla's cell number, her thumb paused on the 'talk' button. "Maybe I should text instead." She decided.
Spencer walked in with Ashley's guitar in one hand and a cup of tea in the other. She smiled sweetly at Ashley and placed the guitar on the floor. "Finally calling your mother?" She wondered placing the cup of tea on the end table.
Ashley shook her head. "Why would I do that? She doesn't want anything to do with me."
"She kept calling like crazy back at the hotel." Spencer answered reasonably taking a seat on the bed. "She obviously wants something to do with you."
The rock star looked back at her phone and began texting her sister. "I don't know Spence. She did forbid Ky from seeing or talking to me." She sent the short message and then threw her phone aside. "What could she possibly want from a person like me?"
Spencer reached out and began running her fingers through her lover's long bangs. "Person? Ashley you're her daughter. Not some random person."
The rock star sat up and crossed her legs, facing Spencer, she took her hand and intertwined their fingers. "I'll think about calling her." She stroked the back of her lover's hand enjoying the softness of her skin. They stayed quiet for a moment gazing into one another's eyes, Ashley reminded of how much she loved the blonde and Spencer reminded of how much Ashley loved her. It was all right there pooling in dark brown eyes. "I woke up a little disappointed this morning."
Ashley tilted her head a bit. "Why?" She asked curiously. Spencer fell back on the bed with her legs dangling off the edge. Her gray eyes looked up into brown. "I had a wonderful dream and you weren't there to hear it." Her voice was quiet and playful; Ashley couldn't keep her eyes off Spencer's lips. The urge to move down and taste them was overwhelming. "So tell me now." Spencer thought a moment before speaking collecting her memories from the dream. "You and I were on the beach and there was this terrible storm approaching. You didn't seem fazed by it but I was freaking out." The blonde had gotten up yelling at the rock star to do the same. Ashley was lying on her back on the sand watching the sky peacefully. "You finally did move but didn't get up. Instead you sat up and invited me to sit between your legs." She did so but very hesitantly. Only the confident strong look on Ashley's face kept her feet moving. "So I did and you wrapped your arms around me from behind and whispered near my ear to watch, that nothing was going to happen to us. And you were right. The storm passed and left behind this breathtaking rainbow. They say you don't feel anything when you sleep," Sensually moving forward, Ashley covered her girlfriend's body, smiling as Spencer ran her hands up and down her body."But being there with you felt amazing." The rock star dipped her head, her lips caressing her ear as she spoke. "Let me intensify the feeling…" Closing her eyes, Spencer buried her hands in auburn hair as Ashley rubbed her thigh between her legs.
The rock star moved her lips above Spencer's. Her tongue peeked out and began tracing her bottom lip, making both girls warmer. Giving into her need for the rock star's lips, Spencer cupped the back of Ashley's head and kissed her eagerly. Their tongues met as the kiss deepend, Spencer wrapped her arms around Ashley, bringing their bodies closer together.
Ashley whimpered as her aroused nipples pressed against Spencer's, sending delicious shivers throughout her body, the rock star ran her mouth down Spencer's smooth neck as the blonde moved against her thigh.
'Mama where's Spencer?'
'She's in the basement with Ashley.'
Ashley barely heard the muffled words and groaned while pulling away from the blonde. Being in a desire filled trance, Spencer reached out for her, needing more from the rock star and groaned her own frustration when she moved away. "Didn't you hear that?" The rock star sighed watching Spencer sit up with confusion written all over her beautiful face. "What?" Spencer breathlessly asked. Ashley looked up in thought. "I give her about 10 seconds." The confusion only depended. "What?" Spencer asked again. 'Spencer! Spencer!' She heard 5 seconds later. "Oh." She murmured and then smiled at the 7 year old standing at the doorway.
"Spencer!" The girl ran quickly onto the bed and wrapped her arms around her cousin. Spencer kissed her cheek and then watched her hop off and hug Ashley. The scene was simply adorable. Caitlyn's arms wrapped around Ashley's legs while the rock star patted her upper back awkwardly, Spencer couldn't help but chuckle softly. "What are we doing today?" The 7 year old asked taking a seat on the bed next to Spencer.
"I'm not sure." She answered honestly. "But the sky's the limit. I'm sure we'll figure out something."
Caitlyn looked at Ashley. "Oh! I just remembered you were on youtube! I saw you when I typed your name!" She exclaimed with excitement. It was becoming a nightly ritual to sneak out of her bedroom at night and use the computer. While watching a Dora the explorer video on youtube, Ashley came to mind and she immediately searched her. Tons of pages came up. Some music videos and some live shows a few interviews and a couple TV appearances. The little blonde was in total awe as she watched video after video. After awhile it finally hit her that Ashley was a famous rock star and not just some girl with a guitar.
Ashley tensed up. The youtube videos were no for the eyes of little kids. Their music videos were very creative, not overly bad, but the band's lyrics weren't all that clean. And then there was Glen's screaming and Ashley's habit of occasionally holding up her middle finger at the camera. "Oh…cool." She stated with an awkward chuckle. "Um," she looked at Spencer. The blonde seemed to have an opposite reaction.
"I would love to see that." She looked over at Caitlyn. "When did you see these videos?"
"Last night!" She answered happily. "I snuck out."
Ashley grinned. "It must run in the family."
"I don't see you complaining." Spencer shot back playfully. "Mom would be a different story I'm sure."
"What do you mean?" Caitlyn asked confusedly.
Spencer met her gaze. "I mean mama would be furious if she caught you sneaking around the house at night. Especially to be on the computer."
"Oh. Well don't tell her! I don't wanna be in trouble."
Spencer chuckled. "I won't tell. Promise."
Caitlyn looked at Ashley with a serious expression. It took the rock star a second to understand what she wanted. "Oh me too. I promise too."
The little girl smiled and got off the bed. "Good. Now can I play your guitar?" She pleaded up at the rock star. "Please, please, please-"
"Caitlyn." Spencer chided. The girl turned to look at her "What?" She whined. "Maybe Ashley will give you a lesson later." She yawned and fell back on the bed. "It's way too early for that right now."
"Promise?" The girl looked up at Ashley.
The rock star nodded. "I promise to give you a guitar lesson." She simply answered. The idea wasn't overly demanding, in fact, Ashley liked the idea of teaching someone else how to play. It'd make her knowledge of the instrument something positive. "You set the time. Anywhere from noon to midnight." She walked over and collapsed on the bed next to Spencer.
"Cool. What songs can you play? OH do you know Dora theme song? I love Dora!"
Ashley rolled over on her back with her arms folded behind her head. She peered down at the girl standing near her feet. "I have no idea who that is." She replied honestly. "But if you play it for me I'm sure I can figure something out and teach it to you."
"You don't know Dora!" Ashley shook her head. "She's soooo cool! Better than blues clues AND Backyardigans!"
Ashley was beginning to feel strangely out of place. It was the familiar feeling she felt when people around her spoke about things they assumed she knew, like everyone else in the world knew about it but her. She hated the feeling, it was a strange mix of frustration and sadness, she pushed it down and reminded herself that Caitlyn was just a kid. It was nearly impossible to be angry with her. She was too adorable. Like her cousin, Ashley thought with a smile. "What's so cool about her?"
"Everything!" She yelled. "But the coolest thing is she speaks Spanish!"
"Really?" The little girl nodded excitedly with a 'yep.' "Wow that does sound pretty cool. ¿Habla ella rápidamente? Or does she speak it slow?" The amazement instantly fell over the little girl's face, it put a smile on Ashley's. "¿Comprende usted lo que ella dice? Or am I confusing the fu- I mean the hel- I mean heck out of you."
The little girl giggled, Ashley looked at her girlfriend and was surprised to see her sleeping. "Can you teach me Spanish too?!" Ashley thought a moment. Guitar would be a breeze to teach but Spanish was a different story. There were many rules and most of them were confusing. "We'll see."
"Oh thank you! thank you! Thank you!" Ashley found herself awkwardly patting the little girl's back as she hugged her to death.
"No problem." She said as Caitlyn pulled back. "Spencer!" She whined falling next to the sleeping girl.
"Let her sleep." Ashley stood up. "Wanna play some more Guitar Hero?" Caitlyn nodded enthusiastically. "Cool. Set it up and I'll be there in a second."
"Kay."
Ashley watched Caitlyn leave the room and then turned her head. Her brown eyes landed on Spencer's sleeping face, drifted down her body, and then flickered back up with a disapproval. No pillow, no blanket, and shoes- Ashley didn't feel comfortable letting her sleep so poorly. She knelt down and removed her shoes, stood back up and gently shook her shoulder. A smile graced her features as her lover mumbled incoherently. Spencer, more awake than asleep, moved up the bed and collapsed against a pillow, Ashley wrapped her with a blanket, kissed her cheek and then left the room feeling much better.
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