Chapter 37 - My Sickness, Revisited (Part 2)
~~~~December 1880~~~~
Nikola heard her coming and he shivered, clutching his arms around himself trying to hold in whatever warmth he could.
She stopped, probably watching him, pitying him. He growled slightly but continued to rock himself and pray, hoping she would just stay there and let him be.
Of course, she wouldn't.
She continued to move towards him, footsteps muffled by the grass, but he could hear the way her dress dragged along the ground.
He continued to shiver.
She sat beside him, thinking about reaching out to him but hesitating.
She was afraid of him, they all were.
"Nikola," she said softly and he looked up at her from his hunched state. "Nikola you must be freezing."
"Clothes were...uh...making too much noise," he muttered, holding himself tighter. Why couldn't he retain any heat.
All he left on were his shorts again. This was the third time he had escaped, he didn't like being in the Sanctuary, especially during his attacks, all the other abnormals made too much noise, too many sounds.
"I was just trying to find some quiet," he muttered again.
He looked around, he nearly forgot how he got here. It was not London, this was the farthest had had ran in one night.
It was a park, a peaceful, birdless garden in the dead of winter, but there was no snow, only a slight chill and no breeze.
"How did you find me?" he asked.
Helen put a hand on his trembling shoulder, offering a fraction of warmth to his chilled skin.
"Nigel can be quite handy when he wants to be...you and him have been tinkering together to find a way to search for you when you get hit with these attacks...don't you remember?" she pulled off her coat and gently draped it over him and he tugged the edges tighter around him.
"N-no...s'hard to think," he mumbled.
"You said it was similar to the principles of a telephone, we strapped a receiver to your leg, when you broke out we called it and followed it's signal...that was before you ripped it off," she smiled weakly but it faded instantly. "It wasn't easy...but we're here to take you home now, Nikola."
He nodded, looking up at her face. He was so pale, it frightened her.
"D-did I...did I hurt anyone?" he asked, she could tell by his tone he was terrified to know the answer, maybe he instinctually knew but didn't want to admit it.
"Let's just get you home first," she said dismissively, trying to help him to his feet.
"Helen, please...tell me...did I hurt anyone?" he said more sternly and she sighed.
"Just one...we took her body to the morgue, James is already working with Scotland Yard to cover the case...it shouldn't fall back to you," she tried to say encouragingly, knowing that was not why he had asked.
He ran a hand through his hair and groaned.
"No, I..." he whimpered sitting back down and dropping his face in his hands. "I don't deserve this...I never wanted to hurt her! Or hurt anybody!"
Helen tensed at his sharp tone.
"Nikola...you're a vampire...a new one. You have yet to train yourself, you've barely had any time to adjust, these things take time Nikola. Once you understand what you've become you will begin to see the benefits instead of the curses," she offered logically.
"Helen, I have been like this for weeks, all I have served to do in that time is harm innocent people, there is no blessing in this!" he cried.
"It's the need for blood Nikola, you can't hold it in, you can't control it...not yet, but we're working on it. You, me, James, Nigel, all of us! We won't rest until we find a cure for your bloodlust. We've already made significant progress with my father's research...just give us time."
"I don't want time! I just want to be rid of it!" he barked, jumping to his feet and pacing madly, abandoning her coat on the bench. "I want my life back! I want this nightmare to end!"
"Nikola, please don't try to kill yourself again, I couldn't bear it," she stood up. She shuddered at the memory of him taking a jump off the roof, impaling himself on the iron fence surrounding the Sanctuary. It had almost killed her in that brief time, as the others pulled him off the grating and on to the rain-soaked grass as she stood their crying, her head on John's shoulder.
She thanked God when Nikola sprung back to life almost seconds after being placed on the ground. Then, he and Nigel had expeimented with his healing capabilities, and it was almost like having the old Nikola back as he discovered he was indestructible. Then the attack had happened throwing him into another depression. Then he learned of his increased strength and speed capabilities, another round of experiments and tests, almost seeing the silver lining, and then he had another attack, worse than the last one. Three people, sucked dry, two men and a young girl, no more than 16. This had thrown him into despair, locking himself into his room with a bottle of wine only to discover that the alcohol no longer affected him and he smashed one of her windows in his distress. At that point she had come to the conclusion that it was his bloodlust that was causing these near-violent attacks. Since Nikola was unaccustomed to them they hit him worse than they probably would've to a full vampire, and part of it could have been due to Nikola's lack of control over the changes. She and James began to run more tests, using different types of plasma and other supplements, researching for hours on Sanguine Vampiris, even her father had helped them in their search for answers, but it wasn't happening quick enough. Soon, this had happened, and as she looked at her old friend, seeing the fear reflected in his eyes.
"I'm sorry, Helen...I just don't know what to do?" he broke down, dropping his head in his hands, his shoulder slumped. "No matter what I do I will always end up hurting someone...I almost hurt you...oh god," he sobbed.
"Nikola," she moved towards him. "We will fix this, I promise."
He nodded.
"I hope so, Helen," he sighed, smelling her blood from how close she was. "I never want to hurt you again."
~~~~March 13 1895~~~~
"You know, I'm really beginning to enjoy your visits."
Helen laughed melodiously beneath Nikola.
"Oh, and you you didn't so before," she teased.
He loved these moments after their physical activities, the recovery times as he liked to call them.
Nikola lay on his side, one arm draped across Helen, who lay on her back, her head using the bicep of his arm as a pillow. He held his head up with that same arm as his fingers traced absent designs on the skin of her abdomen. They were cuddled close together, body against body. It was warm and comfortable and oddly reminiscent of their earlier Oxford days.
"You know what I mean, Helen," he grinned. "With your father's new Sanctuary on my turf I get to see you almost nightly," he dipped his head to her clavical. "I just realized that I like the distraction."
Helen grinned.
"Yes, without me you'd never get any sleep at all," she teased.
"I still don't," he chuckled dryly.
"Still having nightmares," her tone switched to be slightly more compassionate. That's what he liked, feeling that nostalgic sense of their old friendship, when they used to tell each other all their secrets and problems, cuddle by the fire, read poetry, and fall asleep so innocently in each other's arms.
"Just memories...possibly stress, George has been talking to me about financial difficulties as of late...this battle with Edison hasn't been cheap, I mean, that's what it must be, right?" he sighed, kissing her shoulder slightly.
"You mean he can't pay you?" she looked up at him inquisitively.
"Genius like mine is priceless, no?" he teased cockily and she rolled her eyes.
"You do have expensive tastes," she pointed out.
"I have luxuries, doesn't mean I need them, it's my inventions that I worry about. If he can't fund my work, then I can't continue to push the boundaries then..."
"Then Edison wins," she answered for him.
"No, then they all win, everyone who ever told me that I was dreaming like a fool. My father, my professors, they all win and my life's work is nothing but a failure," he sighed.
"We both know that's not true," she brought up her free hand and caressed his cheek. "And your life is far from over."
He chuckled and kissed her hand.
"You're right," he sighed and relaxed again, gently stroking her side.
"What do you see, if I may ask?" Helen asked, ever the doctor.
"You may," he inhaled deeply before continuing. "I see myself, like it had been on that night I had begun to transform. Everything flushes back, the fear, the uncertainty, it's more of those feelings that cause the nightmare than the actual images I see. Those attacks were...violent, confusing, frightening...the rush of terror is what makes it hard to sleep," he sighed looking down at her.
...but then I wake up next to you.
"Well then it's a good thing I'm here," she teased, kissing his lips lightly.
"Yes," he smiled softly.
"Are you going to be moving to the new Santuary... when it's done, I mean?" he asked.
Helen smiled slightly.
"I don't know...maybe, I haven't really thought about it honestly," a giggle escaped her.
"All this travelling back and forth and you haven't thought about it, I thought it was the whole reason you were doing this for!" he chuckled.
"My mind has been, well, otherwise occupied," her hand slid up his thigh in a suggestive manner.
"On me?" he grinned, trying to act smug though inside he was singing with hope. Hope that maybe she felt something akin to what he did, that he didn't just want to sleep with her on the off days, but that he wanted to go to bed with her at night, wake up to her face in the morning, make-love to her on their honeymoon, and ride out the rest of their lives whether be it hunting and saving abnormals, or having her on his arm as he accepted his nobel prize. This arrangement, though satisfactory for the time being, was not enough, and he hoped, beyond hope, that when the time came for more, she would want it as well.
She laughed again.
"Partially," she answered him cryptically, rolling her eyes at him.
He loved her laugh, and the way her eyes twinkled when she was happy. She seemed happy right now, like him.
Their first night in his tent at the fair, though hot and seductive and beyond his dreams, had been more about dominating each other, or more so, him letting her think she was the one doing the dominating. When they had woke it had been tense though, Helen was still uncomfortable with the fact that she had slept with one of her dearest friends for nothing other than pleasure. Nikola was just riveted that he had gotten the chance with her, even if it were only the once. Then it happened again, he had the mad rush of exhilaration of being this woman's secret pleasure, her dirty little secret. But those feelings were slowly melted as the dirty secret melted off into a tender affair in his mind. Helen was becoming more adventurous, he was becoming more wistful. It was becoming less about the sex, he was pretty sure Helen was more than sexually satisfied at this point that it wasn't about blowing off steam. It was intimate, more than it had ever been with Rose.
He got up, hearing the dull thump as Helen lost her pillow and her head bounced on the mattress.
"Where are you going?" she asked, sitting up on her arms.
"No where, just close your eyes," Nikola smirked getting up and tugging on his shorts.
"What?" she looked at him incredulously.
"Just do it...for me...you trust me right?" he gave her a bright smile and she eyed him.
"About as far as I can throw you," she teased.
Nikola found his coat where he had draped it earlier in the evening. He reached into the inside pocket and pulled out a red rose. He knew Helen wasn't all to fond of gifts, but he thought that this might cheer her up. He saw them on a street vendor and compulsively bought one on his way here.
He held the rose in his fingers and then returned to the bed in front of Helen. Taking the oppurtunity to kiss her gently, she giggled.
"Is that my surprise?" she asked as he pulled away.
"No, that's just a door prize," he teased. "You can open your eyes now."
Helen's eyes fluttered open and immediately fell upon the rose in his hands.
"Nikola, I," she looked rather unnerved by the fact he had bought her something and looked at him uncertainly.
"It's nothing, Helen, just a beautiful flower for a beautiful lady," he said easily.
"You didn't have to," she felt flustered.
"I know, but I saw them and thought you might like one, this room is rather dreary, aside from you," he smiled handing her the flower.
"Our arrangement said no gifts," she said warningly.
"This isn't apart of the arrangement, Helen, this is just a rose," he felt his whimsical spirit slowly drain out of him.
"Did you buy flowers for Rose?" she said hotly.
"Yes, I did, all the time, they aren't any kind of promise, Helen, they're just something to brighten a woman's spirits, does it have to mean anything more than that?" he sighed dropping the flower on the bed.
"Anything outside of our arrangement means something, Nikola, that's why we left them out," she pushed past him and grabbed her robe angrily.
"One flower is hardly a marriage proposal," he stood up as well, realizing that she wasn't going to drop this. He found his trousers and flung them over his thin hips.
"That's just it! First it's one flower, then it's a bouquet, then it's chocolates, expensive jewelry, and a romantic getaway, then there are promises, dreams, words, letters, blessings, rings. I don't want any of that...not from you!"
Nikola felt his heart sink all the way to his toes. He walked to the little table picked up one of the wine glasses from it, pouring himself a generous helping of wine and choking it down in silence.
"Nikola...that's not what I...all I meant is that..."
"No, I understand...I'm your fuck buddy, and that's it, according to the terms of our agreement. Nevermind that we used to be friends...good friends as I recall. No, now I even breathe a word of sentimentality and you think I want more. Well, I do!" he slammed the empty glass to the floor. The resounding shatter causing Helen to jump. "I want what we had before I turned into this blasted creature that you hate so much!"
Helen knew he wasn't talking about his vampirism. Though at one time he had seen himself as a beast, he had come to rather love his new abilities and all their perks. He was talking about himself, and how she had been treating him ever since John left.
"Nikola, please understand," she sighed.
"I do, Helen! I was there! I was the one who saw all my friends turn on me thinking I was a killer, and I saw long before the maniac that John was! But it's over! That blasted nightmare is over now! All I want is my friends back, my best friend, you Helen!"
"Then why start this, why convince me to begin having sexual relations with you?" she asked.
"Because something had to change. I tried everything else and none of it was working, you kept hating me for what I couldn't change, so I changed the relationship, for one night, hoping maybe in the morning I would see my old friend on the pillow. That's what I want Helen, I want you."
It wasn't a complete lie, but it was better than the full truth.
He took a step towards her.
"Can't we be friends again, Helen? Like we were in Oxford. Before this...before this sickness came upon us. Before everything changed," he cupped her face in his hands and kissed her passionately, willing the answer from her before he pulled away.
Helen gasped, a small tear trickling down her cheek.
"Yes," she muttered. "Yes, yes."
It was all she could manage to say.
Nikola kissed her again and she repeated it.
"Yes."
His imagination could only help but run with the ideas of what that word meant in this moment.
He continued to kiss her all over her face, his elation at her agreement more than he could contain, and Helen leaned into him, returning the feeling.
He wrapped his arms around her and was about to scoop her up and carry her over to the bed when someone knocked at the door frantically.
"Helen! Wake up, it's urgent!" called James. He hammered on the door again. "Helen!"
"What is it?" she asked, wiping her face and eyes with her hands.
"It's Nikola," he said, honestly worried.
Helen looked at Nikola, then back to the door.
"What's happened?" she asked.
"His lab, it's on fire!" he said seriously and Helen saw Nikola's eyes widen, his arms releasing her as he tore around the room to dress himself.
"Let me dress, I'll meet you in the lobby," shesaid to James.
He agreed and rushed to the elevator.
By the time Helen turned back to Nikola he was already dressed and running out the door in a quick flurry.
"Nikola, wait!" she called after him.
He was already in the stairwell by the time she could get outside the door.
She groaned and rushed back in to change.
Nikola tore down the stairs like a cat on fire, skipping 3 steps at a time. He made it to the ground floor in record time, carelessly rushing out into the lobby and bumping into the one man he shouldn't have.
"Hey, what where you...Nikola?" James said, as Nikola flew past him.
"No time!" Nikola managed to say coherently. He ran out the front of the hotel and into the streets of New York not even bothering with hailing a cab.
James stood wide-eyed and confused. What was he doing here?
The elevator dinged and Helen came out, dressed as appropriately as she could and secretly praying James had missed Nikola or something.
"James, what are you standing around for, let's get a move on," she said, trying to push him out quickly, hoping Nikola was still descending the stairs.
"I just saw Nikola running out of here like his tail was on fire, but how did he-?" James eyes widened and he glared at Helen.
"Don't look at me like that, James," she huffed and stepped outside the foyer to hail a cab. The game was up, and she knew it.
"You are sleeping with him, aren't you?" James accused. "Ha! I knew it! The moment we stepped off the boat in February I knew something was up!"
"Ever the detective," Helen rolled her eyes, not wanting to have this conversation now.
"Yes, and you are ever the conniving woman. How long?" he asked pointedly.
"Now is not the time," Helen said dismissively.
"How long have you two been sleeping together?" he reiterated sternly.
"Since I went to see him at the World's Fair," she looked down, feeling her ears go hot.
James' eyes widened even more.
"My god, Helen!" he cried.
"It's nothing, James. We're just screwing around," she waved it off absently.
"Screwing is right," he scoffed.
"Please James, you are not my father," she scowled at him.
"I'm not, but I'm sure he would feel exactly the same way I do," James admonished her.
"Can we talk about this later, James?" she barked, finally getting a cab, telling the address to the driver and climbing in.
James scowled but agreed and climbed into the seat across from her, fixing his disappointed gaze on her for the entire trip to 5th Ave.
~~~~December 1895~~~~
Nikola pounded on the glass of the chamber with clawed hands. Snarling angrily at the people behind it.
"Gah!" he cried, baring his fangs to them. "Let me go!"
His voice was unnaturaly deep and menacing.
Helen watched from the other side of the glass as her friend tore up the isolation room. It was heavily fortified with the best industrial grade steel and iron her father could afford. Designed specifically for problem patients, now it was being used to cage in her dear friend.
The attacks were too close to each other that containing him was their only option, which he had agreed to before going into another frenzy.
Helen jotted some notes down on her notepad, trying to ignore the pounding of his fists and feral growls.
"Helen...Helen, please, look at me," his voice slowly eased back to the normal timber she had grown accustomed to. She looked up from her notebook and met blue-grey eyes.
He was pale and sweaty, his hair glistening and ruffled. His shirt was ripped open partially, along with one pant leg, and the severed cravat hung loosely around his neck. The shirtsleeves were ripped up to the elbow, the cufflinks tossed carelessly to the floor. She could see his pale chest peeking through all the torn fabric, moving with each inhale and exhale.
He looked awful.
"Helen, I'm alright now, look," he held up his hands to reveal their human nature. "Please, let me out, I'm fine now, please. I just want some wine and a friendly face, Helen," he pleaded and it ached inside to have to refuse him, but she knew that this state of calm wouldn't last.
"Nikola, you know I can't do that," she looked at him sadly. "We still haven't found a viable cure, and your attacks are becoming more frequent."
"Helen," he groaned. "I can control myself, I can."
Helen shook her head.
"No, Nikola, not for very long," she shook her head.
"Helen, let me out," he said again, this time more sternly.
"I can't," she pleaded with him earnestly, silently begging him to stop asking. She wanted to let him out and hold him to her and tell him that everything was going to be ok, that all this was just a nightmare, but she couldn't.
"Helen. Let. Me. Out." he said sharply, his voice deepening once again.
"I can't!" she cried.
"You can!" he screamed, turning back into his monstrous form. "When I get out I'll make you pay for what you've done to me! You did this! You've turned me this way!"
Helen bit her lip, trying to hold back her tears.
He was right. Injecting the blood was her idea, her experiment. She gave no thought as to what the after-affects could have been, she just wanted the immediate results. Although the rest of them had turned out fine, Nigel was learning to control his invisibility bit by bit everyday, John could teleport to wide-open spaces with relative ease, James had found several knew ways to use his gifts, but Nikola.
She looked at the monster standing before her, running his sharp nails along the glass pane, snarling wildly for freedom...it broke her heart. All he had wanted to do was stand beside her when she injected the blood. The last time she had really seen him was right before she had plunged the needle in his vein.
"Don't worry, Helen," he had winked at her with a soft smile. "I'll...see you on the other side."
With one squeeze to his hand, and James and John coming up behind him in case he had a strong reaction to the injection. The dark red liquid was inserted into his veins, that moment of shock as the body feels like someone is hitting them with a chair from all sides at once. His eyes closed for a few brief seconds, he let out a strangled gasp, then stilled.
Then he was gone.
She should've seen it in his eyes. At that point her beloved friend ceased to exist except as a shadow in the body of an averging monster.
Helen shook her head to stop herself from this silly notion of crying. She had no need to cry right now, crying wouldn't help bring her friend back, and certainly wouldn't tame the beast in front of her.
Absentmindedly, her hand grazed the small bandage on her neck where he had bitten her the night she had followed him to Oxford and discovered his transformation. It made her shudder slightly in the remembrance of that dark alleyway, his body holding her firmly against the cold stone wall, his breath against her neck, unnatural worlds spoken in an unnatural voice. It was if death itself had snuck into this realm through the body of her best friend.
"Helen! Don't you leave me! Let me go! Helen!" he began screaming as she turned on her heel, not wanting to stand there and watch him slip farther into insanity. "Helen, oh Helen," he began to sob.
She froze again, listening to his misery.
"I'm sorry Helen, I'm so sorry," he muttered. She heard him sink to the floor. "Don't let me out, Helen, whatever I say, don't let me out. I-I don't want to hurt you."
She turned back to him and moved up to the glass.
"It's not your fault Nikola, this is not your fault," she felt a tear escape as she put a hand to the glass.
"I can't control it Helen, there is no way to control it," he whimpered, staring at his hands.
"There has got to be a way, I know there is," she said even more determined. "The original vampires must've had some measure of control over their powers."
"They had their bloodlust, Helen! They were born and raised with other vampires and were never taught the importance of human life! They were taught when to control and when to feed and I wasn't given that luxury. I was dropped into this with no training and no mentor to help me. I'm lost, Helen, I'm lost inside my own body and there is no way out."
He got up off the floor and moved to the back of the small isolation room.
"Nikola, please, just give me a little more time to understand this, so I can help you to understand. You can't hurt anyone in there, it will just take a little more time."
"Time," he scoffed quietly. "Please go, Helen...I would prefer being alone now."
He scrubbed a hand over his face and turned the small cot from it's side and placed the small mattress back on top of it and sat down with a heavy sigh and placing his head in his hands.
Helen watched longingly, she didn't want to leave him in this state but she knew if she were to ever find a cure for his condition she couldn't stand there feling sorry for him.
She chanced one last look at him before turning on her heel and leaving the room to head to find James.
Nikola lifted his head out of his hands when he heard her footfalls grow fainter and fainter.
He looked him at his room; it was in such disarray, he was in such disarray. His clothes were shredded and torn, and missing a button. He was glad there was no mirror but he would cringe to see himself now.
He stood up and went to the mirror, moving to the spot on the window where Helen's hand had been and put his palm against it, he could almost feel the faint remains of her hand's warmth on the glass and he let out a sad sigh.
It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair that James injected the blood and got smarter. It wasn't fair that Nigel injected the blood and became invisible. It wasn't fair that John injected the blood and now has the ability to teleport from place to place, and it wasn't fair that Helen injected the blood and gained nothing.
He caught a glimpse of his reflection in the glass and brought the paml of his hand to roughly hit that spot in the window.
Why did he have to lose everything while they gained it all and she gained nothing? Why was he the one who had to be locked up? Why was he-?
He shook his head.
It wasn't fair and he wasn't angry that it had happened to him.
He looked back out the window and sighed.
It wasn't fair for her either.
Nikola growled and sat back down on the cot and clasped his hands in front of him, resting his elbows on his knees, resting his chin on his thumbs.
What was missing? What was he missing?
~~~~March 13, 1895~~~~
Nikola tore down the street and around the block, slowing to a jog as he came up to the small fire brigade and saw the large fire consuming the building holding all he held dear inside.
"Agh," he groaned. "Dammit!"
He heard a carriage coming up the street and stop behind him.
He knew it was her and James but he didn't care. His life's work was going up in flames and he was too late.
"No, no, no, NO!" he cried.
Helen stepped out of the carriage and came up to him, resting her hand on his arm.
"Nikola...I am so sorry," she said, trying to be comforting.
"Why? It was not your fault. It's not your fault that my entire life's work, my papers, my designs, everything I had worked so hard for is destroyed!" Nikola shouted angrily.
"It must've been an accident. A leaky gas pipe, a burner left on, a fire starting from the upstairs? No one could've predicted it," she tried to calm him down.
"No, you and I both know this is too much of a coincidence! There is only one man who could've possibly been so petty, reckless, and maniacal enough to do something so drastic as this!" he cried, his face almost as red as the flames.
"You think Edison did this?" she looked at him incredulously.
"It's not the first time this man gone to extremes to get me out of his way, and so soon after winning the bid for Niagra Falls!" he fumed. "That bastard!"
He scrubbed a hand through his hair.
"Nikola, what are you thinking of doing?" she looked at him worriedly.
"Thinking of showing Edison to keep his paws off my business," he growled animalistically.
"Nikola, you can't run in and attack him. You couldn't not take the downfall if he reported you, or god forbid if there are witnesses," she put a hand on his chest.
"Don't worry, Helen, it will happen so quick he won't even know what hit him," Nikola extended his claws partially and began to walk back up the street.
"Nikola, I can't let you do this! I will not let you throw away your career for one moment of revenge!" she grabbed his arm, causing him to swing back and face her.
"Helen, my career is virtually bankrupt! There is no money! No schematics, no prototypes! I've lost everything!" he cried, yanking his arm away from hers.
"No, you haven't! Because it is all in here!" she tapped the side of his head. "Your work, all the schematics, everything is in here! You can rebuild, and if money is the issue I can help, as a friend, but to let you waste it away like this over an unfounded grudge would be doing more damage than that fire ever could!" she pleaded to have him understand.
He scowled, yanking his hand away one last time before storming away from Grand Street.
"Where is he going?" asked James, coming up behind her.
"I don't know," she sighed. "I just hope he comes back."
James let out a huff but nodded his head.
"Let's get back to the hotel," he led her back to the carriage. "There's nothing we can do here now."
Helen agreed and got into the cab.
~~~~Later~~~~
James handed Helen a glass of brandy as she sat on the small couch in ther hotel room. She was very uncomfortable, knowing that eventually James was going to ask her about it. She had no answers and no real viable explanations for what this thing with Nikola had become.
James was very sensible and wouldn't accept it as just a carnal affair. He would either accuse her for deflecting her remnant emotions of John on to Nikola, or accuse Nikola of taking advantage of Helen for his own personal gain.
He wouldn't understand what this arrangement meant to them, she didn't at first, not until about an hour ago when Nikola had honestly explained it to her.
James would still not understand it.
"So," he started, sitting in the chair across from her.
"So?" she sighed.
"You and Nikola-?" he began.
"It's none of your business, James, and I'd appreciate it if you let it remain that way," she said firmly.
"Just answer me one question, Helen. Are you in love with him?" he asked her sternly.
"It's not like that, James...it's complicated, but I feel no different about him than I have felt before," she sighed.
"Helen," he admonished. "I can't believe that."
"And why not?" she huffed.
"Because you are engaging in something intimate and personal and to feel absolutely no different towards that person afterwards...it's impossible, something always changes!"
"That may be but it's not love, it's just some horseplay," she growled. "Nikola and I...it's under my terms. We've made the arrangement and that it all that it is, an arrangement."
James eyed her suspiciously.
"Are you sure that is all it is... for him?" he asked carefully.
"Yes James!" she shouted, slamming the brandy glass down on the table. "We've talked about this! We are not adolescents, James! We are grown up people who know what our needs are and don't need your permission to seek it wherever it lies!" she stood up and paced, putting her hands on her hips. "Just when...things were getting back to normal..."
"Normal!" James shot to his feet incredulously. "How is this, by any definition, normal?"
"Not the arrangement...the relationship, all this time spent together we were starting to get over this blasted animosity...it was beginning to kind of feel like those old Oxford days," she sighed and saw James deflate.
"Of course...I see now," he mumbled.
"Do you?" Helen turned to him.
"Yes," he nodded his head. "You've always had unconventional methods...it would take an unconventional method to make that man come to reason."
Helen gave her friend a soft smile.
"You know Nikola would never hurt me, or drag me into something without my full consent," she patted his shoulder. "I appreciate your concern, but it's mine and Nikola's decision and we will deal with it if it becomes a problem."
James nodded.
"You're right," he chuckled. "I just can't help playing older sibling when this happens, you know that."
"Yes, I'm pretty sure my father is paying you for this service," Helen teased him.
"Not quite, but he finds my insight invaluable." James teased back.
Helen gave him a light hug.
"I'm sure Nikola will be fine, he probably just went for a little walk to blow off some steam, right?"
James opened his mouth to respond but a knock came to the door.
"Excuse me, Ma'am," said a young concierge from the hotel. "There is a man down in the lobby asking for you to see him."
Helen looked at James and nearly bolted to the door.
She moved past the concierge to the elevator in lightning speed, James following suit with the same amount of urgency.
They reached the lobby and saw no one they recognized.
"Where is he?" she turned to the concierge.
"Uh...he's...he's outside I think," mumbled the young man and Helen nodded, gesturing to James to tip him as she hurred walked out the front doors of the hotel and spotted him, sitting on the curb 5 meter from the hotel entrance.
She let out a relieved sigh and walked up to him.
His shoulder were slumped heavily, and he looked defeated.
"Nikola?" she asked and he sighed, not turning to greet her. "Did you?"
"No," he shook his head. "I didn't even get close to Menlo Park before I heard your damn voice in my head goading my conscience into turning around and coming back here."
Helen smirked weakly.
"Are you ok?" she asked.
"No, but...I think I'll live," he shrugged.
"Nikola, come up to my room with me and get off this mucky street," she said lightly. "I can order us a bottle of wine, good wine too, a good wine always cheers you up, right?"
He nodded.
"I can do that hip thing you enjoy so much," she offered and he gave her a dry chuckle.
"Well, I do enjoy your hips," he teased.
"Come, stay here tonight. James won't bother us. He's going to go to the plot tomorrow check on the progress with the architect," she took his hand and got him to his feet.
"He knows doesn't he?" asked Nikola.
"Well, bumping into him wasn't exaclty subtle," she teased lightheartedly. "But he's promised not to tell as long we be discreet and don't come between our work and the Sanctuary."
Nikola smiled again, brushing a stray lock from her face.
"Alright, I'll stay," he sighed. "But what happens after tonight?"
Helen was taken aback by the question then remembered their previous conversation.
"Well, it depends on what time of day it is. We can either have a late lunch, or you can take me for a nice stroll through Central Park," she watched as his eyes lit up as he mulled over her words.
"What would I do without you, Helen?" he said honestly and Helen blushed slightly.
"Well I don't know but I suspect it would involve ruining a perfectly good pair of trousers," she teased, wiping a smear of dust off his pant leg.
"If anything that will save my wardrobe, do you have any idea how many new shirts I've had to purchase since this arrangement?" he scoffed.
"Why do you think I keep ripping them?" she teased, taking his hand and leading him inside.
"Well, maybe I should ruin a pair of your knickers and you can see how it feels," he challenged jokingly.
"I'd like to see you try," she accepted his challenge with a small blush.
They passed James at the door who stared at them, which caused Nikola to laugh.
"Goodnight James, sleep tight," Nikola said curteously.
"That's virtually impossible at this point but I'll try," he departed to the smoking room to drink some brandy's with some of the other men while Helen and Nikola snuck into the elevator and headed upstairs.
~~~~Author's Notes~~~~
Aww, so cute!
Ok, so this has a bit of history, a bit of drama, a bit of suggestive flirtiness. My idea is that this is a precursor to what will happen between the two of them later that will eventually terminate this lovely arrangement of theirs, because you know it has to end sometime then they won't see each other till the Worth Affair, then so on and so forth, so probably at this point we'll be seeing larger and larger time jumps. I won't be incorporating any of Helen's time jumpy-ness, cause seriously...too complicated.
And for those asking about the relationship between James and Helen...i'm just going to say it now. I don't believe it actually happened so it won't be appearing much past a sibling/friend relationship. Frankly, when watching Normandy, I heard John accuse James of being with Helen out of jealousy which James didn't even dignify with an answer, so in my mind that was just John, and those who are Watnus fans (whatever they're called) can believe what they want. Personally I love Peter Wingfield, he's the only reason besides possibly Jim Byrnes to watch Highlander (:) Methos is super smexy) but in the Troublemakers, this story is strictly about the relationship between Helen and Nikola, so none of her other possible or hypothetical relationships will come into play unless I feel it will cause a conflict between our favorite pair...like Rose or John...but I have no inspiration for John at the moment so don't ask if he'll be making an appearance any time soon.
If I ever feel so inclined and change my opinion about Watnus, or (God willing) Sanctuary is renewed for season 5 and they make some kind of confirmation that there indeed was a Watnus at one tie (again I have no idea what they call themselves...Jamesen? Magnawat? *shrugs*
Also, I've been asked if I am possibly writing anything on Vienna in Springtime. I will tell you that I am working on an idea that I will think will be tons of fun in a sort of Seasick-Sound of Silence type of way that I think y'all will enjoy, I don't know when it will be up, I've just started writing it, but keeps your eyes peeled for when it's released :)
Have a wonderful January! Excited to go back to school *rolls eyes* I know how you feel. Y'all might think theatre school is fun but it is craaaaazy!
And for a belated New Years presents! Nikola Cookies for all who review! Remember they taste like wine and are covered in chocolate! Yay!