A/N: Hey guys, thanks for the wait! Here is chapter 14 (it's a bit long…) featuring Luke losing his temper (for a reason), a phone call, Amy's bachelorette party, and a Bechloe heart-to-heart (?).
Songs featured are 'More than this' by One Direction (probably the one song I really like by them), and 'Nothing Compares' by Pixie Lott.
More notes below…
I don't own pitch perfect.
So how did it feel like?
Sweet, sweet release. Of course Luke wished the situation, in regards to Beca, could have been different – if only it could have happened in high school.
But it still felt great nonetheless.
It was the first week of July. Fitz had initiated a company outing of sorts for the fourth of July. Luke was of course there as Beca's guest, being her step-brother and all, and as Kaelyn's guest, being her boyfriend and all too. Emily was of course also in attendance.
The day seemed fun and promising. Fitz had welcomed everyone at his Hamptons digs and all seemed well. Beca had mostly been sticking with their group. Sometime around the first round of burgers and hot dogs being served, Fitz had found Beca and they hung out for a while. The same way as they always did in high school.
Luke wasn't blind. He knew Fitz liked Beca. In truth a lot of the boys and girls, in their school totally did, but none of them, Fitz included, ever seemed deserving. Most never attempted making a pass, either too shy or intimidated by Beca for some reason. The ones who did got shot down very quickly either by Beca's brutal honesty or her naivete. Fitz never attempted to make a move though.
Not until now.
Luke watched them like a hawk. He placed an arm around Beca at one point which she casually shrugged off. Fitz didn't seem to falter though, and sought out Beca's company whenever he could. Just before the fireworks started, they took a walk by the beach, romantic setting and all and he tried to kiss Beca, who pulled away.
No there wouldn't have been a problem with that… if Fitz wasn't drunk.
Because Luke knew, from all the parties in high school they both attended, that Fitz was an ass when he was drunk.
Luke knew, Beca had this. She really wasn't the type who can't defend herself. But Luke stepped in nonetheless, being that Fitz was Beca's boss. When Fitz made a move again, Beca pushed him away and he grabbed her by the arm. Beca's fist immediately formed a ball – Luke knew what Beca was about to do – and he took that as his cue.
Luke had ran up to the beach, where they had been alone sans Luke himself who was snooping around on them and tapped Fitz lightly on the shoulder. Luke's fist instantly made contact with Fitz's face as soon as he turned. Beca looked at him a little shocked and he simply shrugged.
Fitz deserved it, both he and Beca knew that.
They immediately made a run for it afterwards, grabbing Emily and Kaelyn before leaving, Luke didn't have the patience to deal with drunk rich assholes. Emily being the most responsible of the group – which is saying something really – immediately drove off as Luke and Beca bought her and Kaelyn up to speed.
Luke was partially worried about the fallout, but she knew Beca would be okay. She got into too much trouble in high school that Luke knew she was already forming a plan. She was very much pissed off by the blood sod.
If anything, Fitz the drunken ass usually has no recollection of his stupidity when he's drunk so Luke was counting on that having not changed at all. If anything they took off because he knew that Beca won't let this thing cool off easily and she would need time to calm down.
"Ah, guys. Where exactly are we driving off to? Back to the city?" Emily then asked.
Luke then turned to Beca at the back who had then managed to stop yammering on and on about Fitz and his idiocy at Kaelyn.
Beca shook her head. She really didn't want to go back to a place that Fitz would easily find her.
"I think I have an idea where we could go." Kaelyn then said, coming up with a solution to their little conundrum.
Chloe was thankful she kept her phone on vibrate when she got the call. She was at a fourth of July picnic with Eli in a nearby park with some of their work friends. Stacie and Aubrey were there too, her very special guests. Aubrey thought it only natural that she played host for them after she and Stacie did. The party music was blasting through the air as some guy brought with him a huge boom box.
Chloe immediately excused herself from her friends and walked not too far off to answer her phone.
"Nice of you remember me." Chloe had said in her usual cheery tone.
"Chloe, I talked to you three days ago." she heard Beca grumble on the opposite side of the line and Chloe chuckled. The past few months had flown by without Chloe even noticing it. She'd be on the phone with Beca at least once a week and they would just talk.
They talked and talked and talked and talked about everything and anything. About any new song that Chloe liked, about Beca's celebrity encounters, about Beca's progress on their show, and just about all the things they've talked about dozen times over already when they were still at Barden.
Like it had been five, six years ago again.
Except instead of hanging out at Beca's dorm room or at the coffee shop at Barden or at their booth at the diner, it was through the phone lines. Although Chloe doesn't mind. It was bridging the gap that had come to exist between them.
The topic of conversation three days ago was familiar too, Chloe having asking Beca to watch the Hayao Miyazaki film she got her to watch ages ago without telling her that she's already seen it in the past, just to get Beca back into not hating movies.
Chloe felt happy that way. And she let peaceful for as long as she didn't let the things she shoved down deep into that box labeled Beca and hid in the deepest recesses of her mind to get out and overwhelm her.
For as long as she focused on being happy as Beca's friend. Or maybe one day becoming her best friend again.
And for as long as they don't talk about any of three silently agreed upon taboo topics. Namely, their past relationship, Chloe's relationship with Eli, and Beca's relationship, if she did have one with any one at all.
"What's wrong? Didn't strain yourself from having too much fun now, did you?" Chloe then asked.
"Ah, no. Maybe Luke would have a different answer considering he just punched the guy he's been wanting to punch since high school." Beca replied.
"Explain." Chloe then said, she was starting to get worried. In the time Chloe has known Luke, she's never seen him actually punch someone. Sure, shove someone up against the wall, maybe once or twice. Yell at someone and throw all of the insults he knew, quite a few times. But punch someone? That was more Beca's forte.
"Technically, he punched the guy for me."
"What guy?" Chloe asked.
"Fitz. The high school friend. The guy who is essentially my boss." Beca said slowly to let things sink in. "It's really a long story, he was drunk and being an ass. I don't want to trouble you with it now."
"Beca, what did he do?" Chloe demanded, she was feeling a slow anger rise from within her. A part of her wanted to know, because she knew that if Luke punched him, then it was probably bad. There was also a part of her that didn't, not wanting to imagine the things that might have led to whatever the hell the incident was. She didn't want to know what Fitz wanted, although it wasn't really hard to imagine, and she didn't really want to get up close and personal with whatever his history with Beca might be.
Chloe made a mental note though. Thank Luke for punching him. Maybe a high five too.
"Nothing. Don't worry about it. I'll talk to him about it when he's in a better state of mind and when I'm less angry." Beca then replied.
"Well then that would be when? Next year? You don't forgive asshats."
"I don't. But he is my boss. Hopefully it's just a big misunderstanding of things." Beca said sounding like she was deep in thought. She mumbled something under her breath that Chloe couldn't quite pick up, the noise coming from the party picking up as the fireworks started. Chloe placed on hand on her other hear, to help her focus on whatever Beca was saying. "Talking to you helps though. So maybe I can face him in the coming week without needing to serve him a double."
Chloe smiled. "Anything for you Beca." she then said. "But how are you?"
"I'm good. We ditched the party soon after that. You'll never guess where we all ended up? Poor Ems is so tired, we had her driving around for a while. She's knocked out cold on the other bed."
"Other bed? Beca, where are you?"
"Oh, at a hotel. Luke is with Kaelyn in their own room. We're in New Haven."
"Connecticut?" Chloe asked with a chuckle.
"Yeah. Kaelyn's hometown is nearby, we're stopping for the night before she shows us around during the weekend. Lucky that there were even any spare rooms." Beca then explained. "Figured a few days away from the hustle and bustle of the city might actually do us all some good. Anyways, just couldn't sleep so I thought of calling you. Hope that I'm not interrupting anything."
"Oh no, you're definitely not." Chloe immediately replied. "Stacie and Aubrey are happily entertaining themselves at the moment so I'm not really needed."
"Right." Beca said tentatively. There was a pause and for a minute she seemed to want to say something else, and Chloe found herself hanging onto every breath she could hear coming from across the line. But then Beca didn't. She held back. "I should probably try to get some sleep soon." she eventually settled on. "Goodnight Chloe."
"Goodnight Beca." Chloe found herself saying, matching the softness and warmth that was in Beca's voice when she said it.
Chloe found herself taking a deep breath as she hung up the phone and sighed. She was still partially worried about Beca, the implications of what happened and how it could impact her work. But Chloe knew Beca could handle herself. She handled Tom back then well enough despite her hand ending in a cast. She knew things would work out for the DJ.
She was just glad that the walls she saw Beca built up again after the accident started to disappear. That she was reaching her once more. That she wanted to talk to Chloe about the little incident, talk to her because she couldn't sleep.
And something about being the last voice Beca heard before drifting off made Chloe happy and content.
He was an ass.
And as Fitz said himself, he was a rich charming ass.
It was September. Beca managed to endure a month or two more of working at the New York office wrapping up current projects. For the most part, after their talk, Fitz had managed to avoid Beca while at work. Personal life too.
The weekend at Connecticut was actually quite fun. It was a peaceful time that Beca enjoyed. She couldn't help but wish Chloe was there too, wondering how Chloe would react to visiting Yale and it's glorious campus, or going around the quaint little town where Kaelyn spent her younger years, wondering what life was like in a simple place like it was. She's been living in LA then New York for quite some time that Beca has forgotten what life was like at a slow pace.
Then of course was the dreaded confrontation with Fitz the week that follow, although it wasn't much of a confrontation really. Fitz was relatively calm about the whole thing, and contrary to what Luke believed, he remembered. All of it.
Fitz explained that he always had liked Beca since high school. He viewed her aloofness and walls and all as a challenge to get her to fall for him, after all no one could resist his charms. Until Beca, apparently.
"But I do care Beca. I gave you the shot and your dream job hoping it would endear me to you a little, I won't lie. But the talent is yours. It's there. It's like magic really. I saw the potentials and wanted to be of benefit of it too."
"So what are you saying?" Beca had said through gritted teeth after hearing Fitz's comment. She highly doubted Fitz cared.
Fitz had shrugged as he leaned on his chair with a knowing smile. "You can't just quit." he said simply. "You have a contract with me, tightly iron-clad I'm afraid, that you'll be working here for a good amount of years. Sure, you can complain I tried to hit on you…"
"You propositioned yourself on me. Forcibly, almost. You were kind of unsteadily standing to begin with." Beca corrected.
"Right. I'm an ass Beca, but I'm a rich charming ass. Still have a heart though. Point is, no one else saw what exactly happened. I can claim whatever I like and you'll never get out of your contract." he had said oh so nonchalantly. "But, believe it or not Mitchell, you are my friend and I want what's best for you, which of course also coincides what's best for me. So, before you throw a second punch my direction, here me out. I have a deal with you." he said with a smile.
"What does this deal entail?" Beca had asked flatly.
"We have a new artist. Really brilliant. You'll work with said new artist on her first album. All you need to do is finish this project, just the album. No need to be involved with anything else. Finish it and you're free."
"I have a feeling there's a 'but' somewhere." Beca had then said knowingly.
And Fitz had smiled, what came next of course left Beca a little confused and speechless. She really didn't know how to react to it.
It wasn't really that bad. But she still wished she punched Fitz on the face for it.
Mostly because she doesn't know what it all meant. Even Luke was just as puzzled when Beca told her.
That was July. And while Beca never gave an answer, it was obvious it would be a 'yes'.
But now it was September. Now it was the week of Amy's wedding and she was in LA, a little early for their celebrations but she needed time before getting all swept up in the insanity that was Amy and Bumper's wedding. How they planned everything incredibly fast was beyond her. And apparently after the honeymoon, they were moving to LA. They even have a place ready.
So, just like everything else that has happened since the 'Fitz incident', Beca was just letting herself flow through the motions of things, her mind still wrapped up on Fitz's 'Terms and Conditions' for her freedom.
Beca's arms were sprawled on the bar, her head down. This was her surrendering to her Fate, for now at least. Luke was trying to comprehend the absurdity of the situation and figure out just what Fitz was playing at, if he was playing at anything at all or was really just being genuine with the offer. Kaelyn was just huffing in annoyance. And Jesse, good ol' Jesse Swanson who was finally having a moment once more with his old best friend Beca and her usual company, was just to ecstatic to tell the news that he and his current girlfriend of about a year were moving in together at a new apartment, the only chipper fellow in their group.
"And guess who our neighbor is? It's none other than Chloe! Just found at this morning." Jesse beamed. "What on earth is wrong with you three? Aren't we here for a happy occasion?"
"Fitz." Luke, Kaelyn, and Beca replied seethingly for different reasons.
Luke mostly because he wanted make sure Beca would be okay and figure out what Fitz's intentions were.
Kaelyn because she quit her old job, was moving in with Luke, but was still in the process of finding a new one. She didn't want to work with someone like Fitz ever again. Life was a little hectic right now.
And Beca, well…
Beca huffed and ordered a new round of drinks.
"So I guess you're moving to our old building then?" Beca then sighed, timidly sipping on her drink.
"Um, no. What didn't Luke ever tell you? Chloe herself at least? She moved in with Eli months ago."
Beca almost turned pale. No she did not know that.
She waved at the bartender again, she needed something stronger than just beer.
Maybe a few rounds of shots of whatever their strongest drink was. Her mind wasn't exactly comprehensible at the moment and she knew it wouldn't be for a while.
Mostly she wanted to dull the throbbing pain she felt was steadily building in her chest.
Beca glared at Luke to her side, who simply proceeded to quietly empty out his own pint. As much as Beca wanted to be annoyed about not being in the know, she knew Luke and possibly all her so-called friends who knew was just protecting her, sort of.
Of course she wanted to fight for Chloe. At times she felt like she could figure out a way to win her back, perfect or imperfect. Whole or incomplete. She was better now, and she was getting better. No, she can't remember the past, but she has somehow made her peace with that now.
And of course, there was this rational part inside of her, telling her to focus on rebuilding a solid and stable ground with Chloe, offering her the friendship she knew was the best thing she could offer at the moment.
But Chloe moving in with Eli, doesn't that mean things were serious?
Beca had been desperately trying to bridge the gap between them. The frequent phone calls that sometimes lasted beyond midnight, at New York at least, the constant messages; that was all she could give.
But that was then and maybe still partly now.
But when Beca's finally free?
She's been scrambling on her feet trying to figure out a way to make it back to LA. Because yes, LA was once again a dream. But this time, it was the dream because of Chloe. What she'll do in LA, Beca was still trying to figure out that part herself. She wasn't sure if she wanted to work for some other big record company again, just stick with being a DJ for a while, or start up her own label – which, despite her accomplishments in the past year, still sound a bit difficult to achieve at the moment.
Beca needed her in her life, she knew that now. And every decision, every current predicament she's finding herself in, seems to be moving on the wrong direction. Moving to not being able to close the gap and hold on, but instead moving further apart.
Physically and quite possibly emotionally too.
Would she be okay just being friends with Chloe?
She needed a drink to that.
But first she needed to survive what was coming next.
And to that, she needed about twenty drinks to that.
It wasn't too bad of a proposition really. But the implications, the distance she would be putting between her and Chloe, and the uncertainty of the future, those were all the things weighing her down at the moment.
And somehow, she couldn't help but think she's felt this way before.
Luke and Kaelyn went home an hour later. Beca, on the other hand, wanted to stay a while, her only thought was 'get drunk enough to forget'.
Haha, oh the irony that you actually have amnesia… Beca then thought to herself.
"That's it. I'm hauling you back to your hotel room. Which, by the way, why didn't you just stay over at Luke'?"
"I like my privacy dude. Also, he needs his privacy with my assistant." Beca pointed out, trying to stand upright as best she could.
"You're not allowed to get this drunk again, do you hear me, Beca Mitchell?" Jesse continued his lecture as they made their way out the pub. There was a light cool breeze that night, something Beca had strangely enough welcomed. It was a reminder that she could still feel, she was still alive, and that though things weren't perfect, at least there was that.
Jesse had begun talking about getting Beca back on track with her 'moviecation' that got totally derailed since her accident. Beca simply nodded to everything Jesse said. At some points where Jesse seemed to run out of words to say, Beca managed to ask how things were, catch up on what they missed and all as they slowly re-establish their relationship too.
That was one thing Beca found both annoying sometimes as well as rewarding. Getting to know the people she already knew once more.
It was a chore sometimes, especially trying to remember all the trivial details about them.
But it could be magical too sometimes, depends on who it was she was trying to re-get to know.
"Beca Mitchell. Oh my God!" she then heard someone ahead of her excitedly say. Tall guy, arms around a lovely redhead.
Her once upon a time redhead as it so happened.
"Beca?" she heard Chloe's voice say as Beca was trying to place where they were. Turns out, they ended up passing by Jesse's apartment building before getting to the busier streets and onwards to Beca's hotel.
Nice location was the first thing that Beca's drunken mind processed.
The second was that Chloe seemed to be returning home late from a date with him.
Beca's version of he-who-must-not-be-named. Mostly because she didn't want to acknowledge him.
"I didn't know you were coming in earlier than expected. You didn't tell me." Chloe then said.
Beca shrugged. "Spur of the mo' kinda' thing." she slurred, keeping her eyes on Chloe, her stormy blue ones meeting Chloe's own ocean blue. Beca wasn't aware of it, but she loves studying Chloe's face, etching it in her faulty memory forever. She was mostly ignoring him.
Him who just had to speak.
"I know we haven't had the chance to meet personally, the last time I saw you was at the club but we didn't get the chance to speak. I'm Eli, well, Elias Moore, but Eli for short." he started saying in a jovial tone, pulling Chloe closer to his own body as he tried to introduce himself s Chloe's boyfriend.
Beca wasn't really able to pick up anything he was saying. She was too busy being annoyed by him.
"God, Beca, how drunk are you? You're slightly tipping over." Chloe then said, stepping closer and breaking away from Eli's arms as she tried to hold Beca upright. "Let me help you get back where you're staying."
And Beca? She was just mesmerized by the vision of Chloe in front of her. And she was very much ready to do something stupid, maybe as stupid as what she almost did back in New York.
But Jesse seemed to be perceptive of her thoughts and quickly pulled her away before she could even do said stupid thing. "Don't worry Chlo, I know I had a few drinks but I can take care of our DJ here." He then said.
And Eli stepped up a little and placed his hands around Chloe yet again. "Yeah, Chlo. It's late. How would you even get back by yourself? It's not safe."
"I can hitch a ride back with Jesse. He's going back the same place as I would." Chloe pointed out.
Eli was about to counter Chloe's argument when Jesse spoke up. His tone a little more serious than friendly. "Don't worry about it Chlo." he said, sparing a glance at Eli.
And Beca could only thank the stars that Jesse didn't seem to be too fond of him either. Good job at being a best friend there, she thought.
Beca was sure she somehow found her way back to where she was staying at after that with Jesse's help.
She wasn't' exactly sure when Jesse left though.
She just woke at some point in the early hours of morning, throbbing headache and all, but she couldn't help it anymore. Her mind was keeping her awake. A strange feat really. It was close to three in the morning, so she turned to the radio and tuned to the late end of what was Luke's old shift. Someone else was running it then.
Didn't matter though. The song was fitting.
I'm broken, do you hear me?
I'm blinded, 'cause you are everything I see,
I'm dancin' alone, I'm praying,
That your heart will just turn around,
She was with someone else. And she was moving on. She was continuing to move one.
And Beca knew, she couldn't stand a minute of it.
And as I walk up to your door,
My head turns to face the floor,
'Cause I can't look you in the eyes and say,
She wanted to say, speak out the words she failed to say the last time.
She wanted to ask Chloe to wait for her.
Because this time she knew, she would come back no matter what.
She'll fight the oceans that kept them apart. The mountains, the forest. The days and nights themselves.
She wouldn't let him win.
When he opens his arms and holds you close tonight,
It just won't feel right,
'Cause I can love you more than this, yeah,
When he lays you down,
I might just die inside,
It just don't feel right,
'Cause I can love you more than this,
Can love you more than this
But they were still starting over and Beca struggled to find the balance on what she should do and when.
When was too soon? When was too fast? How would she win Chloe back.
But somehow a thought was echoing in her head. Something about going at their own pace.
And some songs on her old lists of mixes too. Answers to questions in her head.
If I'm louder, would you see me?
Would you lay down
In my arms and rescue me?
'Cause we are the same
You save me,
When you leave it's gone again,
But then a part of her seemed to think she's done it before.
She needed to do something else this time.
But would it be fair to do it.
Do it when she's given again.
London was a new opportunity, a part of Beca knew that. It was a way to expand her contacts and reach, and somehow, she couldn't help but Fitz had set something in the motion for her.
But Fitz's deal, to send her to London to work with the new British artist signed to their record label, it was starting to feel like a sentence to exile.
It would be like New York all over again.
Except this time she didn't want to leave to get her head on straight. She wanted to come home.
And then I see you on the street,
In his arms, I get weak,
My body fails, I'm on my knees
Prayin',
And so the words, they threated to slip more and more.
Yeah, I've never had the words to say,
But now I'm askin' you to stay
For a little while inside my arms,
And as you close your eyes tonight,
I pray that you will see the light,
That's shining from the stars above,
All she knew was nothing would be right until she's fixed things.
Make things back to how tings used to be, or maybe even better.
When he opens his arms and holds you close tonight,
It just won't feel right,
'Cause I can love you more than this,
Beca started to drift back to sleep. Her thoughts on Chloe.
No she wasn't going to let Eli win.
Letting him win was like killing herself on the inside.
She needed time and she's had time now.
She's also made the realization that she indeed loves Chloe.
Still do, even without the past telling her all the ways that she does.
When he lays you down,
I might just die inside,
It just don't feel right,
'Cause I can love you more than this,
Can love you more than this
And for once, since the accident, Beca felt like she could love Chloe again, the way she deserved it.
Or she would at least die trying to prove just that.
Lilly sat by the corner of the lofty living area of the penthouse suite. It was Amy's bachelorette and they were still waiting for the blonde Australian to arrive and make her grand entrance. Beca was sitting thoughtfully right next to her with Emily, the youngest of their group of Bellas chatting away about college, the new Bellas, sometimes even Benji. By the bar was Cynthia Rose with Jessica and Ashley, already making drinks, and to the other side of the room were Denise and Flo, setting up a few banners and streamers with puns that they thought would be appropriate for the event.
The elevator doors leading straight to the suite had opened to let in Stacie, Aubrey, and Chloe. Lilly noticed Beca instantly perk up, her eyes landing on the redhead who met her with a smile.
"So what was that about the other night?" Chloe asked taking the seat next to Beca.
"What about the other night?" Stacie quickly asked, Aubrey have drifted off to talk to the other Bellas by the bar. Lilly turned her attention to Beca too, showing her interest and concern. Sure she doesn't say it much, but Lilly does care about the Bellas, and she cares about Beca and Chloe too.
"Well, Beca here was incredibly drunk. I caught Jesse on his way back to the apartment to check you were okay. You ended up ignoring you're phone for a while."
"You caught Jesse on his way back? Where? At the hallway?" Stacie asked in a teasing brow, quirking her eyebrows at Chloe, who simply gave Stacie a look top dismiss her insinuations.
"I was avoiding a few calls so I purposefully turned my phone off since landing in LA." Beca then remarked as if remembering something, phishing for her phone that was essentially dead. "Sorry about that."
"Is this about Fitz?" Stacie asked unsure. "Seriously, Beca, what happened? You told me something was up but you never explained anything."
Beca sighed. "It's nothing, it's all settled and sorted. Don't worry about it. Just some drunken mistakes and stupidities." Beca said, and though she did a masterful job at it unlike how she would have done in the past, Lilly could sense the anger in her tone. Beca was trying to downplay it.
Chloe simply nodded thoughtfully, looking away from Beca who tried changing the subject by asking Stacie if she knew where Amy and Luke were. Luke, being the Man of Honor, promised to bring Amy to the party, promising a spectacular entrance for the bride-to-be and a night to surely remember.
Lilly, of course, would be the true judge of that.
But before Stacie could answer, the lights turned off at the suite, with laser lights shooting out from everywhere. Smoke covered the floor and the elevator door opened. Lilly was quickly trying to figure out who rigged the suite up beforehand – of course she knew the how part already – being ever so slightly impressed before Amy finally appeared.
"What's up pitches?" she screamed before stepping out of the elevator looking all glammed up, Luke just behind her.
Lilly noticed both Beca and Chloe relax a bit after that and while she wasn't exactly sure what was going on with this Fitz guy – side note, investigate Fitz – she did know one truth. This was going to be a long night.
Beca wasn't sure how to admit it but she was having fun. Probably the most fun she's ever had in a while.
Awkward discussions aside, and the idea of forgetting about what she would like to call her 'exile', Beca found herself relaxing at the penthouse of the hotel Beca and the Bellas were all staying at for the exclusive bachelorette party. It was her and Luke's gift to Amy. The only downside to everything was that she wasn't allowed to DJ that night, so Luke had her mp3 player set-up on some cool beats – Amy wanted her 'on the front row seats of an epic night with the Bellas' or so she had promised and claimed. The upside, of course, was that she get to spend the most of her time with the Bellas with Chloe too.
And after the initial weird conversation on Beca's level of sanity and soberness the other night, she and Chloe resumed their usual conversations, their 'normal' ways.
Normal for them at least.
Chloe was the only thing on the forefront of Beca's mind that night. She was pretty sure there was some chanting about strippers and Amy making it a point to tell everyone that Bumper has made her an honest woman so no strippers.
At some point, Luke – who was the only man present at the bachelorette being Amy's man of honor – was being hounded by the Bellas to strip. He did honor them by taking off his shirt, "But nothing else is coming off, a'right?" he then said right after.
"I think it's about time we slipped away don't you think?" Beca then said just as Ashley was getting the Bellas riled up on some striptease acapella riff-off – What even on earth was a riff-off?– and everyone seemed interested with doing it at their private room. Chloe giggled, gave a nod, and soon they were both off to the elevator, Luke barely managing to slip in.
"What? I'm going home to my girlfriend, who probably hasn't stopped panicking about her rash life decisions of late, before things get way more out of hand. What's your excuse?" Luke said with a chuckle.
"Wanted to go get some air before slipping into my own room." Beca replied with a shrug.
"I'll probably head on home soon too." Chloe then said.
"You're not staying with the Bellas? Wait, then who do I end up entrusting Emily too?" Beca asked, surprised to hear that Chloe would be leaving soon.
"Yeah, Eli wanted to go somewhere early tomorrow before the rehearsal wedding stuff." Chloe gave as a reply briefly looking away. Not that Beca didn't look away upon hearing his name. It was the first time Chloe's boyfriend was ever brought up that night.
"Kinda' unfair I think." Luke said under his breath. Beca gave him a look, concerned that Chloe might think he's taking sides or something but Luke simply shrugged. "Look Chlo, barely even seen you since you started dating him. And I've tried to call you up for coffee a few times after my schedule cleared up a bit. Barely talked to you back in New York too, every time I tried he tries to insert himself in the conversation. I just, I don't know. He sounds like a nice chap but I miss Chloe, my friend, not the package deal. I figure the Bellas too."
Beca decided to simply listen to what Luke had to say, to which Chloe simply nodded thoughtfully. She didn't know Luke had that kind of opinion of him, of Eli. From the way he spoke, he seemed mostly just irritated that he keeps popping up, a bit too eager to get to know Chloe's friends. Really what's grinding Beca's gears was that he wanted her home even if it's late when the night before he was using the reason that it was too late at night for Chloe to help Jesse get her to her hotel room safely. "I guess he really just wanted to meet the people that mattered to me." she then heard Chloe say.
"Uh-huh." Luke replied flatly. "Well, just thought it would be nice if all the Bellas spent the most of their time together for this joyous event. I mean we already know Beca's flaky –"
"Hey!" Beca interjected.
"What? You always find the perfect excuse to leave when you're done associating with people. It's true." Luke said to Beca. The elevator doors opened to the lobby and Luke was the first to step out. "But my point is my point. The Bellas are a family. Just thought you wanted to be complete in all sense of the word for this." he said, leaving Chloe and Beca speechless for a moment.
The two found their way walking outside of the hotel, into the still busy streets of LA, walking in silence for a while. They didn't linger too far off and stuck by the area of the hotel and its neighboring hotels. Chloe ordered an Uber, and Beca volunteered to stay with her, make sure she got the details and information of her ride to keep on the safe side too, despite not really wanting Chloe to leave.
"You shouldn't go home." Beca then said and Chloe smiled weakly.
"I made a promise Beca." Chloe replied.
"You mean he made you promise." Beca grumbled but Chloe let it slide.
"You're not even going back yourself." Chloe pointed out instead. The two of them stopping just next to the entrance of the hotel everyone was staying in.
Beca shrugged. "I'm tired. I have a lot on my mind."
"Like?" Chloe prodded, genuinely curios. She leaned back the stone walls of the exterior of the building, turning to look at Beca who looked pensive at that moment.
In Beca's defense she wanted to carefully word her reply. She still hasn't had the chance to tell Chloe much about Fitz's deal, just the brief explanation that everything was sorted. Even Amy and Stacie didn't know, just Luke, Kaelyn, and Emily. Jesse was brought to the night before. Chloe had looked at her curiously back then too, as if a question was forming in her mind but she hesitated to ask.
"Fitz." Beca settled on as an answer.
To which Chloe replied, "Oh." her eyes drifting away from Beca's and falling on the ground. "Well, I suppose if everything's been sorted…" she started to say as an aside.
"Huh?" Beca asked, looking at Chloe, confused by her reaction. She was expecting Chloe to ask something about Fitz, not be so… accepting.
Chloe took a deep breath and kept her eyes on the ground. "He did offer you your dream job Beca, and he knew you from high school. You're only friend in high school or something…"
"Are you connecting the dots that Fitz, strangely enough, is into me?" Beca then asked.
"Yes, Beca. Isn't it your little dilemma? Dating your boss? Potentially, I mean. Or something like that. You said he was drunk and being an ass, I don't exactly know the context and you keep saying everything's fine now too, it's not like we talk about it or… anyways, I'm guessing he really likes you a lot and if everything's fine then you'd have forgiven him or something, and that means a lot from you." Chloe rambled on, her breath a little ragged as she spoke, trying to keep her tone from rising. She took a deep breath, "I mean, even if it's not Fitz – I mean, is he jealous of someone you're with? – I know at some point you'd want to mo- "
"No." Beca said in a whisper, cutting Chloe's nonsensical ramblings. "No." she repeated, sounding more resolute.
"No?" Chloe asked, unsure what she meant. She finally tore her eyes off the ground and focused them back on Beca. "Are you telling me that you…? With anyone else? Or just Fitz? Sorry, I know it's not my place to ask if you have anyone special or anything." she rambled on, and Beca noticed that she was trying to control her breathing, trying to keep calm.
"No as in no, plain and simple. Chloe, if I didn't have space for you in my life because of my messed up mind, what makes you think I'd have room for anyone else? Fitz, especially." Beca said slowly, understanding the words that left her lips just as she said them. She did her best to keep her eyes on Chloe, anticipating the moment the redhead eventually looks up. "I-I…" Beca started to continue when Chloe wouldn't budge, her red hair cascading down her shoulders, caressing her cheeks and hiding away her eyes from Beca.
"Chloe," Beca said a little firmly after pausing for a while, and Chloe finally decided to slowly look up. Beca gulped and she wasn't sure where it was coming from but she found the strength to let the words slip and continue on. "I didn't let you go because I stopped caring about you, Chloe. I didn't let you go because I didn't love you anymore just because I forgot who you were. It's because I know that I was killing your dream, killing your life just to accommodate mine. You were giving up too much of yourself and that wasn't right. I needed to leave and get my head on straight and you needed time to breathe on your own too. I know I hurt you, and believe me when I say that not a single day passes by when I don't think about it or blame myself, but I know I would've hurt you more if I stayed. We'd keep hurting each other until there was nothing left. And I didn't want that. And I didn't want you to wait forever, in case fixing me, in case finding myself, took longer than forever. I didn't want to put your life on hold just because of me. That was the only reason, but it was enough of a reason then." Beca managed to say without mumbling, or rambling, or tripping on her words.
Chloe looked at her with glassy eyes. "Beca… I… what are you trying to say?" she asked in a whisper.
"I…" Beca started as her reply, not quite sure herself. "I don't know Chloe." she confessed and Chloe smiled lightly.
Soon Beca found herself transfixed on that one moment, Chloe leaning in ever so slowly, before gracefully closing the distance between them, her hands finding its way around Beca's neck.
Beca felt the push and pull in her heart, the feeling of both flying and falling at the same time, drowning and breathing all at once. Something inside of her igniting sparks.
A countdown quickly began and ended in her mind, she barely even noticed, but she could hear the word 'one' lingering around in her thoughts.
We missed 'one'. It went on and on repeatedly.
And as soon as Chloe had pressed her lips on her skin, everything disappeared.
Beca would have been slightly disappointed that Chloe's lips didn't meet hers and instead landed on her forehead, but for that moment she wasn't on the streets of LA, outside of some hotel, waiting with Chloe for her ride.
But… she knew her eyes were open but the world around her had disappeared, it had transformed. Blue, purple, red, orange. The colors kept on changing, illuminating Chloe's features and the outlines of a room bathed in nothing but the bright pallet of colors coming from outside. The sound of fireworks from the distance. From where she was she could see two beds, two desks; a room with a reasonable space. And she could feel her heart quickening in its pace, her cheeks burning a bright red. When Chloe pulled away, she could see her clearly in that room with her, leaving Beca speechless. Completely breathless even.
It was like she was seeing Chloe again for the first time.
A car pulled over and Chloe knew it was time to go, she said goodnight to Beca despite already being past midnight and walked away.
Taking away with it the surreal vision of the room long gone. Once more Beca was in LA, watching Chloe leave with her hand trembling as she found the spot where Chloe's lips were on barely seconds ago.
"Can't I ask for them to get back together as a wedding present instead?" Amy asked wistfully, leaning at the wall of the hotel exterior opposite where Beca and Chloe had been standing moments earlier. The hotel was at the corner of the street, hence the Bellas using it as an advantage to conceal themselves. Of course as soon as Beca and Chloe disappeared, the girls followed suite. Luke's advice of where they could be turning out to be actually very helpful. Best. Man. Of. Honor. Ever.
Ashley passed back a pair of binoculars to Jessica, "But that forehead kiss has to count, right?" she asked and Jessica gave her a tentative smile.
"It could. Who knows?" Jessica replied.
"I really have no idea how you all managed to drag me here to spy on my best friend." Aubrey complained.
And Stacie gave her a kiss on Aubrey's cheeks to placate her. "You know how were just so concerned about them. Besides, you were complaining about the strip riff-off."
"Don't try to justify this by telling me I just chose between the lesser of two evils." Aubrey grumbled but nevertheless relented with her complaints.
"I wonder what they said to each other though." Denise then said.
"That's between them and should rightfully remain so." Cynthia Rose replied.
Flo nodded. "But it looks like they're getting back to a good place." she said just as Lilly came back from wherever she disappeared too, quickly hiding wires and whatnots under her own clothes.
"Do you think… do you think they still love each other?" Emily quietly asked. "That they'll find their way back to each other? Sometimes I think it's just wishful thinking, but I still see it, in the way they are around each other. In every way they are around each other."
"Trust me Legacy, I've been resisting the urge to just push them back together. Only time would tell, but I think, no matter how long it takes, those two are made for each other." Aubrey replied and Emily smiled.
"I still say the frying pan plan might have been a good idea." Amy then said as they made their way back inside.
To which Stacie sighed, "That wouldn't have worked. Best case scenario is that you give Beca a concussion."
"Worst case is she might end up losing all her memories, and we're back to a different square one." Flo seconded as they rushed through the lobby trying to catch the closing elevator doors going up.
Only to reveal Beca inside.
The Bellas smiled at her a little too innocently and Amy could tell that Beca was suspicious.
"Should I even ask?" Beca asked as they all filed in the elevator.
To which the Bellas chorused with a "No".
Amy was thankful that was all there was to it and Beca didn't press on the matter any longer. She did notice the DJ looking a little too deep in thought.
It was quite a night.
A wonderful night.
Chloe crashed down on the sofa, after finding her way back home from Amy's party. It was around one in the morning, and Chloe had guessed that Eli was probably sound asleep in their room already and she didn't want to bother him.
So sofa it is.
Besides, she didn't really feel like sharing any space with him for the moment. She just wanted to close her eyes and focus on the fleeting moments she had spent with Beca that night.
Beca who was becoming more and more like the Beca she knew.
While they did spend the night with all the Bellas, Chloe noticed she spent the night with Beca the most, filled with private conversations by the fully stocked mini-bar of the suite, refilling their respective drinks, and sometimes even after they've had it they would linger on still.
Like they were stealing these quite moments to be alone together, away from the world they know, away from life and their realities.
And somehow Chloe was back in Barden, at Beca's dorm room, at the quad and under the shade of a tree, at their booth at the diner, at the coffee shop they loved, in Chloe's room, at the DJ booth of the radio station…
…once again stealing away moments to be just themselves despite the crazy hectic expectations that were demanded of them.
Quiet moments to just be Chloe and Beca.
Chloe stood up and tuned to the radio. On the airwaves was a different Midnight DJ, but her thoughts were on hers. Her right hand covered her lips as she closed her eyes.
She was going, going, and gone… traveling through her thoughts
Walking down Brick Lane, feeling blue.
Winds blowing lightly and I picture you.
Sweet Sunday morning, with nothing to do.
Love is like a dream, when it's just me and you.
Somehow Chloe could imagine it clearly, Beca being in a DJ booth playing the song hoping to reach her with its words, with its steady rhythm.
It felt like the realest truest thing to Chloe at the moment.
Open my window, sing me a song.
Baby can't you see that this is where I belong
With your hand in my hand, still feel, feel the love
Really wish that we could go back to the way that it was.
As real and true as the fact that she knew she nearly did it, the temptation never being as strong as the moment she let it slip. She knew it wouldn't be right, steal a kiss on Beca's lips. But she had to, she had to find a way to make Beca feel, let her know the quiet murmurs echoing deep within her heart. It was a moment of weakness, she had been so resolute with her decision of letting Beca go and move on.
But, for once, Chloe was at the very least starting to realize that perhaps she hasn't really been going anywhere far from Beca. No, in fact she was going back to her. And it was back then, when she was blindly holding onto whatever was left that she could salvage, that she had been the farthest away from her.
She knew, a part of her did, what those quite murmurs were.
But Chloe was still afraid to admit it.
For now, only time would tell.
Beca buried her face on the pillow, not quite as drunk as she wished she would be anymore. She told herself to be aware, to be sure that she'd stay somewhat sober enough the whole night through and not to do anything stupid with Chloe.
But it was a futile attempt.
No, nothing stupid ever did happened. Just that for once in her life her words didn't fail her and she had to go spewing all that nonsense to Chloe.
Nonsensical truths though, you know that Mitchell, Beca told herself.
Because they were like magnets of opposite poles, forcing their way through whatever obstacle they had between them.
Beca turned to the radio clock, she was doing her best to clear her thoughts and process everything that had just happened before she and Chloe parted ways.
She closed her eyes and wondered, they were sharing the same night's sky once again, would they be sharing the same song now? Would Chloe be listening to the radio, thinking of her? Or…
No, Beca wouldn't allow her think of the alternative.
And what was that even? The thoughts that popped into her head, when Chloe's lips touched her skin.
I'm running fast, as fast as I can,
To get you back, just to get you back again.
I cannot wait, I cannot wait, if we can be, we can be us again.
I cry at night, cry at night,
I'll cry for all the words, all the words I didn't say.
Sweet Sundays, sweet Sundays.
Too many thoughts, too many emotions.
She really didn't know what to think.
Just that she's never felt more at peace since her accident, not until that moment they shared.
And what was that look in Chloe's eyes?
What did she even mean when she asked about Beca moving on with anyone else? With Fitz even? Why would she even ask that?
She couldn't have anyone then, she didn't want to be when she felt so broken herself, when she felt so stuck in where she was.
And even now that she could move again, now that she was mending, she couldn't allow anyone else in her life.
No one could ever compare, compete, or come close to how Chloe fits with her.
They say if it doesn't kill you it'll make you stronger.
Oh, but I can't be without you any longer.
Every time I let it go, baby it's you.
Nothing compares to you.
Nothing compares to you.
Beca closed her eyes her thoughts drifting off to sleep.
And somehow she found herself in that room, replaying images of a moment frozen in time.
There she was, amnesiac Beca Mitchell, unknowingly reliving the past to help her reach her future. All while she dreamt of Chloe sleeping in her arms, of the pale moonlight etching the details of a past life onto the blank pages of her mind.
A/N Part 2: I know I said break for two weeks, but… I like keeping you guys on your toes on when the next chapter drops? Anyways, the chapters seem to be longer than planned, so I might space out writing them instead and post one or two updates per week. If it's super angsty, I'll update with the next chapter soon (like a day or two latest) to make sure to soothe your feels. Chapters 14 to 20 should start lessening on the angst. That said, angst heavy (or so) chapters are 16 and 19, just a heads up. Sorry if I placed most of the heart wrenching stuff at the beginning of this fic (16 and 19 should definitely still have some of those :P). Then 21 onward would be more 'hell yes!' than 'hell no!' I promise you that. I know the coming chapters are still bittersweet but we get progress (I mean Beca made HUGE progress in this chapter – hint: read chapter 13 of the prior fic). As for Eli, there's a reason why I'm nauseatingly having other characters say he's a 'nice guy' instead of writing the ways Eli is nice in the narrative. Wonder what that is…?
All I can say is Fitz greater than Eli. Not in the contest of who Luke would most likely punch.
But on that note, I do love me some parallels. Some of the things that happen might feel familiar in that similar situations have happened in the past fic. It's a good way to kind of show what the characters did before and what they'll do now either through their thoughts and reflections or the actual actions they do.