Chapter 39 – Potholes (Part 4)
~~~~September 1895~~~~
Yes this is what I want. I can't go on like this.
Nikola paced on the dock of the New York Harbor. The world around him was full of happy greetings, sweet kisses and warm embraces for passengers going on and coming off the boat, but he did not feel the same. He was shaken, nervous, unsettled, and anxious. This was one visit he had dreaded since he had received a certain letter in his mail two weeks ago.
The last month or so had been a flurry of mixed emotions for him. First there was his whole incident with Katharine that had almost ended in disaster, and was still in a very rocky state. He had received many telegrams from her, requesting a meeting with him in private; he had not replied to any of them.
Then there was this letter. Words that could either change the course of his life, or utterly destroy it. He felt it in the breast pocket of his jacket, it crinkled with every step, he resisted the urge to pull it out and read it once more.
Soon she'd be here, he'd see her eyes and every last bit of his resolve would melt, but he had to hold strong.
He continued to pace he knew he was attracting looks but he couldn't stop fidgeting, he couldn't stand still, his mind was racing.
What if she said no? What if she shut him out completely? What if this was the end? Things had been so good lately, just like Oxford except better because she was his, he shared with her something very few men had shared before him. But it had gotten to a point where he wasn't satisfied with just this, he wanted more, he wanted her, and he knew on some level she felt the same way.
"Nikola?" the voice rang through his thoughts and he froze still.
He spun to meet her blue eyes. There he went, melting like ice under a blazing sun.
He didn't stop to think, or even greet her. He closed the gap between them and cupped her face in his hands and pulled her to him in a searing kiss.
He pulled back and gasped almost sheepishly.
"Hello," he said with a shy grin.
Helen laughed, her arms had somehow wound themselves around him, holding him, and he was still holding her.
"Miss me?" she chuckled.
"Just a little," he shrugged jokingly.
"Just a little?" she smirked deviously, just slightly grinding her hips against him. He bit his lip to stifle his reaction.
"Not anymore," he glowered at her and she beamed her brightest smile at him.
Helen laughed again.
"Is this why you asked me down here so urgently?" she eyed him suspiciously. "I do have work to do and patients to look after you know. I can't just take a boat trip down here every time you get lonely."
"No, I assure you, I didn't trick you down here for that," he rolled his eyes. "I just can't help it when I see you…you bring it out of me."
He noticed the young worker carrying her bags behind her. He tossed the boy a coin.
"I'll take them from here," Nikola extracted himself from Helen's embrace and gathered her luggage in his strong arms. "Shall we, milady?"
Helen nodded.
They found his carriage and climbed inside after giving the driver the directions to Nikola's home.
Helen cuddled into his the crook of his arm, absentmindedly putting her hand on his knee; she was doing that a lot lately. Nikola reveled in the comfortable position they were in for a few minutes. He loved being this close with her.
After a moment he cleared his throat to get her attention. She looked up at him with bright eyes.
"Yes," she said lazily.
"I, uh," he stumbled over his words. "M-missed you…that's all."
He berated himself inwardly.
Helen laughed.
"I know you want to tell me something, Nikola, just tell me, please, and spare me the awkward silence," she teased, moving slightly out of his arms.
"I don't think this is the right place," he muttered.
"Well, then what are we going to do in the mean time?" she said particularly mischievously.
"I…uh…"
Helen stuck her head out the window almost suddenly.
"Driver, take us for a few strolls around central park," she said with a slight blush.
"Yes ma'am," said the driver.
Nikola looked at her quite lost and confused as she closed the window and drew the curtains on both sides.
"Nikola, you should know by now that I don't like awkward silence," she grabbed his cravat and began undoing it. Nikola felt he was fifteen again, and was flustered by her forward suggestiveness.
"In here?" he cried.
"Wasn't it you who wanted to do it in the alleyway?" she teased tossing the cravat carelessly away. Her hands caressed his newly exposed neck.
"Well yes…but Helen," she climbed onto his lap, cutting whatever he was going to say short.
"Come on, Nikola, James is not here to scold us," she teased, taking off her hat and tossing it carelessly away just like she did with his cravat.
This woman was cruel sometimes.
She undid the laces at the front of her gown that caused her tightly bound chest to spill out before his eyes.
Aw damn, he thought.
She was playing dirty.
"Fine, but it will have to be quick, I think we've already reached central park," he whispered as he slid his hands under her skirts and undid the clasps on her stocking in mere seconds.
She giggled, clutching his hair in her hands.
"Pray God we hit some potholes," he muttered causing her to laugh some more. He smothered the end of it with a strong kiss.
~~~~Later~~~~
Nikola and Helen lay in his bed, five hours since she had arrived, in his home at the Hotel Geriach. She used the thin sheet to cover up her dignity, leaving her bare legs exposed for his delight. He lightly grazed his calloused fingers over the soft skin of her calves and thighs.
He had propped himself on one hand while she used a pillow, her arms clutched around her body modestly.
He honestly loved how self-conscious she became after sex. It was part of her adorable nature. He kissed her shoulder lightly. Listening to her regale him on all the weird things they had done together in the time that they had known each other.
"There was that abnormal chase up the big clock tower, do you remember that?" she giggled.
He kissed her shoulder again.
"I do," he chuckled. "I almost died, so you thought you'd join me."
"We spent New Years straddling the clock hands on Big Ben," she smirked.
"Yah, most people just get drunk and pass out on New Years but you and me, we know how to celebrate," he chuckled.
Helen stroked his chin slightly.
"You're accent is almost gone, did you notice that?" she asked.
"I do, I bring it out at public functions or in business meetings," he shrugged.
"Why?"" she asked him.
"To keep up appearances…it's fun," he chuckled. "I'll do it in front of you if you like?"
"Well, I sort of like this Americanized version of you," she teased.
"That's just because you know what I can do without the accent," he wiggled his eyebrows. Helen laughed light-heartedly.
"Still wish you'd shave the mustache though," she twirled the hairs of it around in her fingers.
"You like it, don't deny it," he wiggled his upper lip causing the mustache to move in a goofy manner.
Helen tugged his face down to hers and kissed him lightly.
"I prefer the man behind the mustache," she smiled sweetly.
Nikola felt the reality of why he had called down her here sink in and he sat up suddenly.
"Nikola, what is it? What's wrong?" she asked.
"Nothing…I just remembered…I have to tell you something," he said, swinging his legs over the bed and pulling his briefs and trousers on before turning back to her.
She had sat up as he had turned his back and clutched the sheet around her.
"What is it?" she looked at him slightly worried.
"It's just…" He sucked in a breath.
"It's about our arrangement isn't it? It's about this?" he nodded and her face flushed. "Oh, I…I feel foolish."
She covered herself even more with the sheet and stood up to fetch her clothing.
"Helen, it's not like that…will you please listen?" he groaned, quickly scrubbing a hand over his face.
"Then how is it, Nikola? You bed me one more time and then tell me you don't want to do it anymore, do you know how that feels?" she growled tossing the sheet roughly on the floor clad in her undergarments.
"Just listen before you go jumping to conclusions!" he sighed. "I need to talk to you, Helen, and you need to hear me."
He went up to her and clasped her hands.
"Please," he pleaded and she relented, letting him lead her back to the bed and sit her down.
He kneeled in front of her.
"Helen…I want to end the arrangement…not because I don't want to see you anymore but because I…I think we could…I mean, I know you said you didn't want that, but…with us being like how we were in Oxford…sort of…I thought," he watched her face to find some kind of reaction, either good or bad.
The resounding slap hit him off guard.
"This has been your plan all along, hasn't it?" she growled hotly at him. He raised a hand to his cheek, blindsided by the hit. "Bed me then wed me, and win this futile one-upmanship between you and John. Well, I am not a prize, Nikola! No matter how many times you screw me!" she slapped him again before he had time to recover from the last one.
"Helen, I…" he sputtered.
"This is what this whole arrangement has been about! It's so clear!" she stood up and laughed incredulously. "I should've seen it. Everything was so meticulously planned, hoping I wouldn't figure it out until the ring was on my finger and you were dancing on John's grave."
Nikola watched her laugh cruelly, and rubbed his cheek absently.
"That whole spiel about us being friends again was good, almost fooled me, and that way you so innocently kissed me on the dock, very clever. You missed me, hah! You've been trying to screw me for a long time haven't you, you bloody bastard! Lying about your medication to drink my blood, playing the friend and a gentleman at every turn, getting me to want you on a purely sexual level just to get your chance with your little college buddy. You make me sick!"
She threw on her dress.
"And I was an idiot for not seeing right through it! You use people, Nikola! You use them and then waste them away into nothing. You may have gained special powers when you became a vampire, Nikola, but you lost whatever shred of humanity you had in return."
Nikola looked down at the floor.
"I feel so foolish," Helen turned away from him. "You asked me when you became this creature I hated so much…it was the moment you replaced my best friend with this soulless bastard…the old you would've never done this…or maybe he would have…I don't know anymore."
With that she stormed out of the apartment.
Nikola stayed frozen on the floor. His cheek was still red from where she had slapped.
Why did it never work out for him? Why did it never work out in his favor? He did everything right, he was a gentleman, he loved her as innocently as he could and as honestly, she fell for John. He was there for her in her heartbreak; she blamed it on him. He moved on, she came back. He changed his tactic with the full intention of loving her as honestly as he always had, wanting to fill the empty promises John had let down, and again, what he wanted was denied him.
He morphed into his vampiric state and stared into his elongated nails. Why was he the one continually getting screwed over?
He let out a loud snarl and morphed back into his human form.
In less than a minute he had risen to his feet, popped open a bottle of wine and drank half it's contents before smashing the bottle against the wall.
The even blurred, until he found himself by the river, clad only in his loose shirt, he hadn't even bothered to button it. He reached inside his pocket and pulled out a small velvet box. He flipped it open and looked at the small ring inside it. It had a small 14-karat diamond nestled along some smaller ones. Simple and beautiful, just as she was.
He closed the lid and angrily chucked the box into the river. The resounding cry leaving him feel ragged and his chest heaving.
Fine then. He wasn't going to be the good guy anymore if all she saw was the bad. He had offered his heart and she had torn it out of his chest and stomped all over it. Then he didn't care if she saw him as a monster or a man, frankly he couldn't tell anymore.
He vamped and snarled at the night sky, before callously turning on his heel and walking away.
~~~~Lexington Avenue~~~~
Katharine Johnson was awoken at 2:00 a.m. to the sound of knocking, rampant knocking.
She quickly grabbed her robe and put it on, descending the stairs quickly to answer the door.
She could hear it was raining outside.
She got to the door and opened it.
She was surprised to see him standing there, the rain soaking his before her. He was disheveled, his shirt buttoned up incorrectly, no vest or suit jacket.
She had never seen him like this, something bad must have happened.
"Nikki?" she asked.
He didn't respond, just sputtered the rainwater from his face. His chest was heaving like he had just ran all this way.
"Robert isn't here, he's out of town," she assumed that's who he was looking for.
"Good," he said huskily, stepping up to her and kissing her fiercely. She instantly melted into his arms, kissing him back. Her hands coming into his soaked hair. He pushed her further into the house, and against the wall, shutting the door behind them.
~~~~Author's Notes~~~~
*gasp* Nikola's gone to the dark side. Helen was soo mean to him, but you will understand later where I'm going with this. I know, I almost cried myself. Nikola was hoping she felt the same way and bought her a ring and everything…I know *hands out tissues* I'm a jerk, you can say it :P
I know it's taken me too long to update this, but I was dragged off to a retreat for four days, it was mandatory, but I still love you guys so I typed this up for you guys real quick to tide you over for awhile. For those who want me to continue with Moment Long Misery…you'll have to wait…I have writer's block on that one, I know how I want to end it but getting it there is a different situation all together…and if yall like, we don't wanna wait we want it now, then gohome! Imma get to it when I get to it, I'm a cut you, get outta muh life!
(Sorry, waaay too much time spent with a boy named Keddy, he speaks like that , for realz…don't ask.)
Anyways, enjoy, read, review, tell me which part broke your heart the most, and how many tissues you used up, or if you prefer you can comment on how hot you think J-Yo would look if his shirt was unbuttoned…just kidding…I already now…I seens all that and I got say I love three piece suits….if you wish you can ask me what I mean by that or for those who know you can have a little snicker to yourselves. Like imma gonna tell you ha!