A/N: Hey guys! Thanks for sticking with me so far with this roller coaster ride of a fic. This is chapter 16 featuring Amy's wedding, Emily being Emily, Stacie being the best friend that she is, and Aubrey being a good friend not just to Chloe but to Beca.
Also features Eli's sort of unmasking? A lot of emotions. And Beca's unwavering faith.
Songs featured are 'A Song You Might Hear in a Wedding' and 'Before You' by Jon McLaughlin.
I don't own pitch perfect.
"Yep, so back to the square one. Totally called it." Aubrey huffed as she laid down next to Chloe, the redhead was clutching a spare pillow closely to her chest, like she was holding on to it for dear life. It was a little bit funny, comical almost. But Aubrey fought off the building laughter. They were talking about serious matters. They were in her hotel room, Stacie still currently displaced elsewhere. This was a private heart-to-heart talk between the best of best friends. And her best friend had just unloaded her mind.
"What do you mean square one?" Chloe then asked, raising an eyebrow at Aubrey's direction.
"Square one means you're pining away for Beca, whether you want to admit it or not. Square one is we're back at a place where you're trying to figure out if she feels anything at all for you. I think the only difference now is that you actually care a lot for Eli. And I get it, you know, people are hardwired for that need to be happy and you can't be broken and sad forever. It is okay Chloe, I know you're human. You want to choose whatever makes you happy and Beca broke your heart already, despite it stemming from a difficult situation.
Chloe pouted. "I know what you're trying to say Bree, but it's not helping me at all."
"Do you love Eli?" Aubrey then asked. It was the simplest way of getting to the bottom of this.
And she was once again met with silence from Chloe followed by a deep sigh. "Eli is, well, Eli."
"Exactly. Look, I'm not questioning you love him some way. There are many types of love. Platonic for one thing. You trust him. And let's be real, you know he'll never break your heart because it's not his to break." Aubrey then said, looking at Chloe who was burying her head in the pillow as Aubrey spoke. She was acting like a child waiting to be told what the solution is and what she should do, getting frustrated that Aubrey can't exactly do that. "It's been tough Chloe, and I honestly don't have the right answer you're looking for. Pretty sure I never will. I can't tell you to get back to Beca or stick with Eli, mostly because I can't force you to feel what you don't feel, I can't force you to do something you're not sure of doing. In the end, you're the only who knows what's best for you. But I can tell you what I see."
"And what is that?"
"Chloe," Aubrey started, turning to face Chloe on the bed. "Some people, they choose what's easy instead of what's hard. Some people, they meet the love of their life and let it go and slip away, live out their great love affair and move on to something more quiet, simple. They settle for what seem to be the most logical option. Why? Because it hurts less. It's easier. They find more happy memories based on those picture perfect moments that society things should be part of the definition of how to be happy. And some? Well, they hang in there. They bear all the hurt and all the pain for that one minute of just pure bliss with the person they love. Now some people, they spend the rest of their lives forgetting about their love altogether, because they have duties to their families."
Chloe looked up and gave a nervous kind of laughter. Her mood was lightening a bit. "When are you getting to the point Bree?"
"Impatient as always." Aubrey remarked.
"Look who's talking?" Chloe threw back teasingly and Aubrey laughed a little.
"What I'm saying, Chloe, is you can decide which of those you want. I wish I could have the powers to bring Beca's memories back, or I don't know, turn back the time and maybe make sure that the accident never happened. But, you know me, I also believe that things happen for a reason. I don't know what would have happened if the accident never occurred. Would Beca still get that New York job offer? Would the two of you have moved again? Would other things slowly tear you apart or you know, test you? I know it's terrible. It was heartbreaking. But Chloe, you were only living for that munchkin. Slowly, your dreams got overshadowed by hers, and you were ready to follow her to the ends of the earth for her to reach it. And I really, honestly, wanted to tear the hobbit apart for breaking your heart but Luke sat me down and talked me through it. You following me?"
Chloe nodded slowly. "Yeah. Yes, I am." she sighed. "It's still mending, truth be told."
"I know." Aubrey then said with a whisper. She sat up, still turned to face Chloe. "It's hard to tell what's going to happen next, or what might've happened. But it's easier to tell what you want to happen, even though that's hard too, truth be told. At the end of the day, you can only do what you feel is right. Things take time and everyone has their own pace. Maybe you needed the time apart to refocus on yourselves. And now, well, you've had that time. I don't know much about Eli, but I do know Beca, enough at least. You're giving being friends with her a try again. If anything, I know that she cares about you, with or without the memories you've shared before. I don't know if it will ever come back Chloe, but with Beca, why don't you just focus on the memories you can still potentially make with her, instead of holding on to the past? You're the expert on Mitchell, I shouldn't tell you not rush anything, but I am. In this world of maybes and what ifs, maybe this time the two of you take your time. You've lived out the sweep off your feet romance already after your 'will they/won't they' moments, maybe this time, if your friendship ever turns into something more, it's time to slowly kindle a lasting flame." Aubrey reasoned out, trying to be impartial. Deep down she was 'Team Beca' all the way, but that was between Beca and Eli. Between Beca and Chloe though, she'll always be on Chloe's side of things first and foremost. The distance between them already made it difficult to help her through the heartache she lived through, and Aubrey didn't want to fail Chloe as her best friend. She wants to support Chloe with what makes her happy the most, and to do that, she knew she can't be biased.
"That's if, you know, that's what you want too. With Eli, again, I don't know him much. Only you can decide what you want to do with him. You can live out this relationship with him for as long as you want to, see where it takes you. But Chloe, more than being unfair to him, don't be unfair to your heart. I know you're afraid, it's still in a fragile state." Aubrey stated, continuing her speech before reaching out to grab Chloe's hands firmly in her own. "But you've got me, okay. You've always got me. And if it gets broken again, I'll always be here to help you stitch it back together."
Chloe smiled and pulled herself up to reach out and hug Aubrey. She buried her face on the crook of her best friend's neck and sighed, Aubrey rubbing soothing circles on her back. "Thanks Bree." Chloe breathed out. "I honestly can't wait for you guys to finalize your move to this city."
Aubrey smiled. "Why did we ever think we can go through life living cities apart? We're supposed to be inseparable."
"I don't know." Chloe said with a chuckle, holding onto Aubrey even tighter.
And Aubrey promised that she won't ever let go. They were sisters, those two, maybe not by blood but by the unbreakable bond they shared since the day they met.
"So, what do you think those two are up to? I mean they jetted off with their corresponding go-to secret keepers and all." Amy asked flipping through the endless channels on TV. Stacie was slumped down an armchair next to her bed in her bridal sweet, deep at thought and on full concentration on whatever she was reading in her iPad. It was her wedding tomorrow and she just finished going on and on about her own excitement of finally tying the knot with Bumper, something she once never though would be possible. Settling down with someone. She could hardly get any sleep but thankfully Stacie gladly listened to her all night long to tire her out a bit, Stacie insisting that although Amy was undoubtedly beautiful in any state, she would be ten times more dazzling if she got her beauty sleep. But Amy still couldn't and she wanted to tire herself out some more. Then of course after a few minutes of silence, she finally realizes why she just couldn't get a wink of sleep.
Her mind was on her best friend and her best friend's… well… to Amy, Chloe will always be Beca's one and only love.
Amy looked up and tried to wave at Stacie's direction to get her attention but to no avail. "Stacie, I'm getting married tomorrow and I've been nothing but the perfectly accommodating bride that I am, no bridezilla moments at all. Don't make me have one right now because you're too busy with whatever it is you think is more important. This is about our Beca and our Chloe and their potential heart eyes?"
Stacie chuckled. "I'm listening Amy, sorry about that. My boss just sent a paper for review… and he wants the write up in like three days. Of course… what does he think I am? A superhero?"
"What you do, I never understand why you do." Amy commented. "But do tell me if you think I'm right or wrong? I mean, I'm glad that Shawshank and Red are getting all buddy-buddy again, I'm just still, you know… I'm holding onto hope that love wins at the end and all that stuff."
Stacie placed her iPad down. "Don't worry, I messaged Luke. I asked him to come straight to us after talking with Beca if anything's up. The last few weeks in New York had Beca super stressed and she hasn't said anything. I wanted to ask Luke if she's doing okay too."
And right on cue, there was a knock on the door. "Could that be Luke?" Amy asked eagerly. "I should go check."
"Oh no, no, no." Stacie then said, standing up and crossing the room in amazing speed to get to the door before Amy. "If this is Bumper breaking his part of the deal I'm kicking him out. No extracurricular activities tonight." Stacie then said in a strict tone and Amy threw her a pout. "You two said you wanted to make your honeymoon special, I'm doing you the favor."
"The more you spend time with Aubrey the more you sound alike." Amy then said in a defeated tone before walking all the way back to the bed.
"Too bad then, 'cause I'm never letting that girl go." Stacie said as she swung the door open and in came a very tired looking Luke.
Amy watched as Stacie let Luke in and follow him back to their happy little nest by the TV. Stacie eventually sat back down her armchair, Amy smackdab in the middle of the bed in the middle of her happy little pillow fort, and Luke pondered a moment where to seat. He eventually pulled the chair by the office desk at the corner of the room and sat down.
"So what's up?" Stacie asked.
"A lot." Luke said in a sigh with a light smile on his face. "I think I should really be used by now at how Beca can surprise me with her maturity but her endless back and forth with uncertainties lets me forget it."
"Why what's going on?" this time it was Amy who asked.
"I don't exactly know." Luke said honestly. "Something's definitely going on in that little head of hers and I can tell there's something she's not telling me. But anyways, we mostly just talked about plans on when she gets back and what she's going to do. We're starting on something simple, and I'm a little disappointed that I didn't come up with this idea any sooner."
"You're not aiming sense Luke, we're about to have a heart attack here. Stop building it up." Amy then said, cutting into Luke's explanation. "Also, what do you mean by 'when she gets back'?"
"Right, right." Luke said deep in thought. "I can give you the long version of the story some other time but short version is that Beca's boss is a bloody sod, Beca's getting her free out of her contract card with him by working on an album with a new and upcoming artist. But in London of all places."
"Wait, Beca's moving to London?" Stacie asked jumping in, she looked over at Amy and Amy didn't need to second guess that they had the same shocked and worried expression on their faces.
"For a time being." Luke quickly said, trying to de-escalate things. "An indefinite amount of time, but Beca wants to be back her as soon as she possibly can. And when I say here, I mean in California. And when I say in California, I mean LA. She wants to move back here in LA. Proof, she just proposed a business plan with me, co-own a club and she wants me to get on top of things fast too."
"But what happens with her job at the label?" Amy asked, concerned.
"She's free to quit. Producing records is a whole other thing, I'm not sure about what she plans on the whole making music in those terms. But we both agree that the club is a good idea, we both love music, I have money I can invest into something and Beca too, plus Beca is an awesome DJ, so there is that."
"That's, well, that's actually good news despite the London bit." Stacie then found herself saying. "Bree and I are moving here soon. Amy and Bumper are settling down in the city too. I here Cynthia Rose and Denise are heading to San Diego thanks to a great job opportunity for the both of them. Flo's got that new job at Stanford, that's in Palo Alto, but still. And Jessica and Ashley's in San Francisco. It's like we're all slowly moving closer together. Like we're coming together again."
"Yeah, but London? I'm already crossing oceans to get back to my one and only Shawshank – let's face it, she's lost without me – only for her too move again." Amy said bummed out.
"Would it help if I said I punched Fitz and got him real good?" Luke then asked with a smirk, clearly reminiscing the moment.
"Depends on if that's the reason why Beca's moving away." Amy then said flatly.
"Yep. Because of it is, you're in trouble Luke." Stacie then simply added.
"Fitz is an ass. Punched him or not, I think he planning to send Beca to London all along. Maybe intentions changed? I don't know. I get worried for Beca but looks like she's putting aside all her fears. Plus, despite knowing she's not fond of my relatives in the UK, they are just a train ride away from the city. So she has family. It's tough times ahead but she's motivated and inspired and that's something." Luke said with a shrug.
"Good answer there, Walker." Stacie replied.
Amy sat thoughtfully. "Well, that's one down." she muttered before turning to face Stacie with an innocent smile.
One more to go.
Stacie tried, she really did, to fish out whatever information she could out of Aubrey about the urgency of why Chloe needed to talk to her but Aubrey's lips were stitched close. She tried every trick in her book for sure, but not a single peep, no.
The whole wedding happening that day did only make it harder to get anything out of her too.
Amy looked absolutely stunning, the Bellas all gathered in her bridal suite helping her get ready. Stacie couldn't help but notice the ever so present stolen glances between Chloe and Beca but she let it be for now. They'll get their answers eventually.
Once Amy was pretty much dressed, just a few more finishing touches here and there, the Bellas started to file out and Luke stepped in, making sure Amy was doing well. He had been standing outside the room as If he was on guard duty to make sure that if Amy needed anything, he'll be ready to assist her.
"So, just the OG team then." Stacie commented as she addressed the remaining people in the room with Amy. Her, Luke, and Beca. "Are you ready to become Mrs. Allen?" she then asked Amy.
"I never said I'm taking his last name. Still haven't really decided." Amy then replied.
"You nervous?" Beca then asked with a smile on her face. She hadn't said a single word since she greeted Amy that morning.
"Me? I was born ready." Amy said. "Okay maybe hesitant like years ago, but ready as I'll ever be now." she then added. "I'm just really excited, you know. I want to get through with this already so I can start being on the other side, married to Bumper."
"Well, he's surprisingly feeling the same way when I saw him earlier." Luke then said with a chuckle. "Oh God, I can't believe we're all grown up now."
"I know." Stacie seconded. "I'm still wrapping my head around Cynthia Rose getting married years ago with Denise. Now we have Amy too. Any special requests as a single lady?"
"Just one." Amy replied, a thought forming in her head and Stacie could only guess what kind of plot she's been scheming, waiting for an appropriate time for it. Amy turned to face Beca before speaking again. "Beca Mitchell, I want an honest answer, no BS. Why do you want to come back to LA? Luke spilled the beans last night."
Beca turned to Luke, a questioning look on her face before sighing. She was defeated. She had a smile on her face though, and somehow Stacie knew that whatever storm had come that fateful day of the accident, it was starting to lift.
And Stacie knew it to be true when she heard the answer Beca had given them all.
It was a beautiful day for a wedding. Seriously, nothing can compare. They even had celebrity guests. John Mayer and Jon McLaughlin included. Beca clearly pulled through for Amy but who knew Bumper wasn't kidding about knowing John Mayer?
But that wasn't what made it beautiful for Emily, nope.
It wasn't the weather outside. The colorful flowers that lined the aisle. It wasn't the touching ceremony. They did make for a perfect wedding though.
What made Emily incredibly happy was overhearing what Beca had to say to Amy, Luke, and Stacie, when she went back to check on them.
She never did check on them. She was too busy trying to contain her excitement. Beca's plans, what she said… they were all baby steps compared to what they hoped and wished would happen. But they were steps nonetheless. And Emily knew, if they kept moving towards that direction then they would reach it.
There was hope. Especially since Emily could see that it still was clear on the little ways Beca and Chloe would interact.
And she couldn't help but be proud of Beca for stepping up a little.
If only the complications would lessen.
Distance for one thing as the threat of living in a foreign land was looming near.
Eli for second.
Emily didn't really have much of an opinion of him from before, but slowly she was growing annoyed of him too like Luke. During the reception, Eli was with Chloe the whole time. Getting a drink, going somewhere or talking to guests. When she finds her own time alone, he magically pops up too. Like during her conversation with the redhead, Benji, and Jesse at some point during the night. It was like he was waiting for an opening and then boom, he's there.
But what grinds Emily's gears the most is that she's caught him glancing at Beca's direction a few times, with her cousin not realizing he was looking at her. What's more is whenever Beca or Chloe approached the other to talk, again, he's there.
Like a mushroom spore that keeps popping up unexpectedly.
Emily was trying to keep her irritation to herself but it looked like Luke had noticed the same thing already.
"You can't punch people in a wedding." she heard Kaelyn tell him teasingly when Emily approached them.
"You can when they give you a reason to." Luke replied in a deadpan tone.
"Let it be. Either he really just admires Beca or he knows just how close to Chloe she is." Emily commented.
"Yeah, I don't like neither options." Luke replied, still watching him like a hawk.
"Aw, but he's so nice." Kaelyn then said.
But Luke simply replied. "I don't trust perfectly nice. I mean even Emily has her bad days."
Emily was about to contradict Luke but then she decided not to. She knew what he meant anyways. Instead she played back what Luke had just said over and over again, not being able to help herself but agree. Perfectly nice just doesn't exist.
She'd rather have perfectly imperfect.
John Mayer had stepped up to play a song he wrote specifically for the couple as a wedding gift before he passed it to Jon McLaughlin. Before Emily could even put any other thought to it, Benji had approached her with his charming shy smile. No, even Benji wasn't perfect but Emily loved him the way he was. "Can I have this dance, my lady?"
"Of course you can." Emily replied beaming.
Nope, nothing can ruin this day for her.
Was she scared?
Hell yes.
She had no idea what she was doing, or what she wanted to do. It all sounded like a crazy plan in her head. But she wanted to. She wanted it.
And Beca convinced herself that she would take whatever she could take from it.
It's not like she was going to tell Chloe about what she felt for her. Not yet at least. She still has no idea how to open up that conversation.
But she did want to talk to her. Talk to her about London, why she was leaving again and soon. And of course, she wanted to talk to her about her plans after.
She wanted to come back to LA. It was her dream for so long before, right? It would only be natural. But Beca knew. It wasn't LA she was chasing after this time, it was who was in LA.
Chloe was the dream she lost when she forgot what her dreams were all about.
But she was slowly remembering it. At least one piece of it.
And no, she still hasn't told Luke anything about it although for some strange reason she knows that Lilly knows. It's like they're little secret without even talking about it being their little secret.
Beca decided that the morning filled with the rush of prepping for the wedding would be a bad time for a talk. Besides, it was Amy's wedding. It should be about her and Bumper. So she held off on that. She did want to check in on Chloe, talk to her about other matters, no matter how trivial they were. She was craving her company, craving her smile. And again, really, she'd take whatever she could get.
But like a painful reminder of what she had chosen to let go, Eli kept popping up whenever she gets the chance to be with Chloe alone.
But this was different. Eli had excused himself for a moment and Beca took the chance. Jon's songs were always touching, it would be a perfect quiet moment. A soft moment.
It was a dance. All she was going to ask for was a dance. If it was too much for Chloe, then she'd give way. But if Chloe would say yes, then that's a step forward.
Forever, All, and Always
Words I've used before
On all the wrong faces.
But I'm going to use
The rest of my life,
Proving to you
Those words were lies.
And of the million things
A heart can hold
And of all the things
I've come to know,
I Love.
Beca crossed the room, Chloe was still alone by herself. The song had started, it was simple and heartfelt as predicted. The guests had joined the newly wedded couple on the dance floor. The stage was set.
"Hey Chloe." Beca said and Chloe looked up with a smile.
"Hey there to you too." she replied.
"So…" Beca started to say, "…um, yeah. Uh, do you, maybe… Can I have this da-?" Beca started to ask, trying to build her confidence up. Her heart had started to pound loudly against her chest, her mind still swirling with thoughts asking her what on earth she was doing. But Chloe's smile was growing bigger as she had formed the words and Beca could anticipate the 'yes' that she would answer.
But then, of course, right on cue was Eli.
"Chloe, can I have the honor?" he asked, reaching a hand out to Chloe, flashing his brilliant smile as he cut into the space between them.
Chloe seemed to hesitate at first, looking at Beca, waiting for her to finish what she was about to ask. But Beca didn't want to just cut in between a couple. Yes, she wants to fight for Chloe, but she wanted to do it in an honorable way and if Chloe would want to dance with her actual boyfriend, then she should give way. There would be plenty of dances for the night. Beca nodded towards Eli before mouthing 'later' to Chloe. The redhead mouthed an 'I promise' back before accepting Eli's offer and hitting the dance floor.
And once again, like magic, the scene had changed right before Beca's eyes.
She wasn't at the ballroom of a hotel for Amy and Bumper's wedding reception.
She was at some sort of karaoke club. She wasn't sure but she thinks she could even hear Amy singing.
For a brief moment everything flashes back to what it should be. The song Jon was singing was what she could hear and most of the guests were on the dance floor. There was a flash of lights and Beca could feel the blood slowly draining from her face, her starting to numb. She lifted her head up and once again it was the karaoke bar she was in. Her hand in some kind of brace.
Then back to reality as Beca blinked her eyes trying to focus on something. The movements in the dancefloor in front of her was causing her to feel dizzy. Her eyes land on Chloe, and she could see Chloe looking back at her, a worried look on her face was starting to set in. Beca fights the sinking pain in her heart at the sight of Chloe dancing gracefully in Eli's arms and she tries to make her way to the bar.
She blinks again. She's waiting for her drink. She looks back at the dancefloor and it transforms into the karaoke bar once more. The images had been hazy at first but now they were clearer. Her eyes had landed on Chloe again but Eli had transformed. It wasn't him with Chloe, it was some other guy.
And it was some other guy that Beca could see Chloe kissing.
She closed her eyes, she didn't want to see anymore, but then she gets transported to someplace else. It was dead at night but a group of people had been partying at some sort of amphitheater. College? Barden? Beca wasn't sure. But there was Chloe again in the arms of a different guy.
Beca opens her eyes just in time to return to reality. The images feeling so real and true they couldn't just be her dreams or her imagination.
She takes a sip of her drink, the alcohol helps her regain the feeling back in her ears and slowly she was firmly back in her reality. At Amy and Bumper's wedding.
People say we are where we belong.
We hold each other's hands
As if we're holding on.
And to me a little of your you
Is like
A little bit of sun
That makes the moon.
And if the "If's" we plan around become "When's."
If our center aisle narrows and bends
our Love.
That was the third one.
The third one of her 'episodes' as Beca had called it, the first being that forehead kiss.
The second happened last night, as soon as she parted ways with Luke. The words that Cynthia Rose had said echoed in her head.
Love is not something you overthink, it's something you feel.
It repeated over and over again, like how it did a few months ago, and more and more it transformed into her father's voice, the one she still really hasn't talked to since his visit after her accident, although that wasn't really much of talking.
And then Beca closed her eyes, she was in a kitchen. Presumably her father's. They were having coffee together. She didn't know what they were talking about prior to that, and in what context, just those words. He said those words to her at some point in her stay at Barden.
Beca didn't know if she would be frustrated about it or not, for so many reasons. . Her memories, no matter how broken or jagged this fragments were, they were returning to her now. But why only now?
Why not way back then when she wanted and needed it the most?
Then of course there was that other part of Beca that was just glad of whatever it was that she could hold on to, just thankful for whatever bits returned.
She really needed to talk to someone about this. Maybe a professional on the field?
"You okay Beca?" Flo had asked her, Beca didn't even notice the other girl was there.
'Yeah." Beca replied.
At least she thought she was going to be so she wasn't exactly lying.
And
If there ever was a shred of doubt
This hopelessly romantic now
And
I hope that time can slow us down
And minutes pass like hours now
And all the clocks counting down
To Love.
Seeing Chloe with Eli, it was bringing back memories of times she saw Chloe with other people too. Maybe it wasn't trying to remember that was getting her to remember. Maybe it was just finding a way back to being in tuned with her feelings and emotions. As the feelings resurfaced, of jealousy and regret, and of the heartache of seeing Chloe be with some other guy, that's when things changed.
And it was that fluttering feeling when Chloe kissed her on her forehead that evoked the images of the past too.
For her father's words? Beca wasn't sure, perhaps it was the hopeful feeling of wanting to fight for Chloe.
Beca sighed. She decided to let herself relax a bit by the bar, trying not to pay much attention to Eli and Chloe. She'll have the time to sort this thing out properly.
I need Love.
I can see that I'll be alright
With you now by my side.
And if tomorrow you're gone
And I still go on
I'll promise to
Spend the rest of me on you.
But as always Beca was being proven wrong, she should really start expecting this at that point.
Eli stopped Chloe from moving before shocking everyone, dropping on one knee probably thinking that it was probably the most romantic thing in the world. To Beca it wasn't, who proposes at someone else's wedding?
But the image before her starts triggering the same series of flashes to start all over again. Beca could feel her heart falling down into what seems like a bottomless pit, she could feel the blood draining out from her face yet again.
And she knew, yep, she knew deep down inside that she couldn't stay to hear what the answer would be.
She needed to get out of there and breathe.
Aubrey's first thought with Eli's impromptu proposal was that it was a little lackluster. At least even when things got messed up at the end with their engagement, Beca knew how to do a one of a kind proposal.
The second was how Chloe was feeling. Aubrey could see she was more than just surprised, especially with the things they talked about the night before. And of course Aubrey wasn't surprised when she heard Chloe's answer.
It was Eli's initial reaction that got to her a little bit. But there was time to ponder on that later.
Mostly because of the third thing that immediately popped into Aubrey's mind. Beca Mitchell herself. Aubrey saw Chloe looking for Beca's face in the crowd before turning back to Eli. Aubrey quickly followed suit and it didn't take long for her to realize that Beca was gone.
Aubrey quietly slipped out, running into Luke just outside the ballroom. The two decided to split up to look for Beca, both concerned at her sudden disappearance. It was Aubrey's luck she was the one who found the DJ by the pool outside the hotel. She was sitting by the edge of the pool, her heels set to one side, her bridesmaid dress rumpled up to her knees, with her feet dangling by the edge and into the cool water of the pool. She had one hand covering her face, breathing slowly. Her hands were visibly shaking too.
Aubrey followed suit, reaching for Beca's other hand that was gripping the edge of the pool. Her hands were cold and Aubrey noted for the first time that she was turning pale.
"You hanging in there Mitchell? You look sick, we could call…"
"I'm going to be fine." she grumbled. Aubrey was having a hard time trying to figure out if the crack in her voice was out of frustration or sadness or both, but one thing for sure was that Beca was not doing too good of a job trying to hide it.
Aubrey gave Beca's hand a squeeze and she relaxed a bit, bringing one hand down. "I'd ask the obvious question but it's written all over your face." she then said.
"I'm too late, aren't I?" Beca asked weakly.
Aubrey took a deep breath and sighed. "I don't know, Mitchell. It's not like they're breaking anytime soon, Eli was quick to cover up for his embarrassing situation."
Beca turned to face Aubrey with a confused look. "What do you mean?"
"Chloe said 'no', Mitchell. Almost instantly, to be honest." Aubrey said remembering how the words had easily slipped from Chloe's lips as soon as she realized Beca had gone. "Eli quickly took it back, saying he thought he'd just try but he understands if it's moving too fast. He said he got carried away with the moment."
"She said 'no'?" Beca then asked in disbelief.
Aubrey nodded and smiled weakly. "You should be honest Mitchell. To yourself and to her. It will be a long way to go but, if you love her, Beca if you still do, don't let the words and the feelings die within you never being spoken. Fight for her, show her she's got an option. She fought hard for you, every time you ran or pulled away."
"Yeah, I want to stop that." Beca then interjected, her breathing slowly returning back to normal.
"Look, don't rush anything, take your time and figure out what you need to figure out, but when you're done, come back home."
"You think I have hope then?" Beca asked with a chuckle and Aubrey smiled. She was about to say that to Chloe, it would seem that she'll always have hope. But she thought those words would better be said by someone else.
Aubrey looked up. She had heard the footsteps coming close to where they were. Chloe stopped a few steps away from them and Aubrey took that as her cue. She left looking back as Chloe took her place beside Beca by the pool.
They sat there in silence for a few good minutes, Beca trying recover a bit of the strength that had left her, and Chloe trying to come up with what to say.
Mostly because she was drawing up blanks, her eyes staring at the bottom of the pool. Maybe she'll find the words there.
"We did both agree we need to talk." Beca then said, drawing Chloe's attention.
"You wanna' start?" Chloe asked, still uncertain how to begin with everything. The last few minutes of her life had been a little too intense.
"Why are you here? I mean, why'd you look for me?" Beca then asked, it was her turn to keep staring at the pool.
"Honestly? I needed some air." Chloe replied truthfully. "And I was worried about you."
"Things never change then…" Beca had then commented.
And Chloe, she was ready to just get it out, all of it, in the open. Because Beca kept saying things like that, things that made her heart move and sway in a certain way that no one has ever done before. And she wants to know, desperately know, what it all meant.
But she never did. Because Beca beat here to the punch.
"About the whole thing with Fitz…" Beca started to say and Chloe remained silent for as long as she needed and listened as Beca explained her predicament.
"And after that Chloe, after that I'm planning to come back. Luke and I are working on some things that would hopefully pan out for the best. But first, I have to go to London." Beca concluded. She already explained that part.
London.
But that was so far away.
Chloe took a deep shaky breath and sighed. A part of her wanted to scream, wanted to shout, wanted to just walk away.
Not again.
She was leaving again.
And she wasn't even hers now, the situation's changed, but the pain was there nonetheless.
They were mending, rebuilding their friendship, their foundation, and now?
Distance.
Distance wanted to keep them apart.
And Chloe knew, there was no certainty in a 'them', and she doesn't know for sure what would happen next, but it was clear to her. She wanted Beca in her life, she needed her to be there. More than anything, they were best friends, and she wanted at least to have her best friend back.
Chloe sighed again, all while Beca was looking at her, studying her face, waiting for her to say something anything. But again Chloe was lost for words. She got why Beca was telling her this, but she didn't know why she was doing it with that longing look in her eyes, with that desperate and pleading tone in her voice, asking Chloe to understand.
"You'll call? You'll skype? Stay in touch?" Chloe managed to finally ask.
"Of course." Beca said almost in a whisper. She reached out and held Chloe's had in her own, giving it a squeeze.
Chloe nodded and tried her best to muster a smile. "So when do you leave?" she asked, dreading for the answer.
"I'm pretty much all wrapped up with New York, we kind of had that all set-up and ready. I have until tomorrow here in LA and I'll be back in New York tomorrow late night. I'll be off to London in three days time, they already need me there and it's the first flight I could get."
Chloe nodded silently, wrapping her head around Beca's words. She grabbed Beca's hands and pulled her close, wrapping her in a tight embrace, Beca clinging onto her just as tightly. "I will miss you Chloe."
"Not as much as I'll miss you." Chloe replied, still not letting go, and she was really just thankful that this time, Beca stayed in her arms for as long as she could.
It had been an emotional night. Beca knew that for sure. The one thing she regretted was that Luke eventually found them by the pool and they needed to get back to the ballroom. Amy wanted all the Bellas there when she throws her bouquet.
The brief episode of failed proposals seemed to be forgotten by the guests and the air outside coupled with the talk with Chloe had helped Beca clear her mind a little.
Beca had still felt a little uncomfortable with their return, and no, it didn't have anything to do with the rather damp edges of her dress. She could feel Eli's eyes on her the whole time when she got back with Chloe. That was when she realized she didn't even ask Chloe how things with Eli were. She would assume they talked briefly or will eventually but with everything happening inside her mind then, it was really hard to process everything.
Amy eventually gathered the Bellas who were still single. Bumper made a joke about how if it lands on Chloe that would be awkward and everyone laughed a little, releasing whatever remaining tension was left. Amy just gave him a look then and threw the bouquet. The Bellas had been joking around about getting all competitive when the bouquet very nearly fell in front of Emily. Perhaps fearing that the youngest Bella catches it, Stacie and Aubrey – who were both standing on opposite sides of Emily – jumped in to grab it.
"Well, I guess we know whose wedding is next." Amy had teased.
Beca excused herself after that, many thoughts to process and all. She spent all night wondering what to do next, wanting to call and reach out to Chloe, but she fought the urge, wanting to give Chloe some time to process everything that had happened that night. She wanted to promise endless promises that she will come back, she will return.
And if it wasn't too much, she wanted to ask her to wait.
Because this time she knew for sure that she would go through any hell and fight her way just to get back to her.
She woke up late in the afternoon the next day and Beca knew she had to keep moving to be at the airport on time.
Luke was driving her off with Kaelyn in tow and Beca found herself staring out the window of the backseat of Luke's car, her favorite headphones hanging on her neck. She was paying attention to certain cues in the conversation, replying to any questions Luke or Kaelyn asked her, all while listening to songs softly playing from her iPod. But her mind wasn't on Luke's excitement about places she needed to visit or Kaelyn's reminders.
It was on what she didn't want to leave behind.
It was on Chloe.
I feel like somebody else
I don't recognize myself
Staring into the mirror
Smiling ear to ear
It's always been Chloe, even when she didn't know why or when she couldn't remember the ways.
It's funny how all this time
I thought I was alive
Now I see things clearer
Smiling ear to ear
But Beca understands now.
And no, while she still hasn't said anything about her 'episodes' to anyone, she did want to get to the bottom of things.
Before Beca knew it they were at the gate. "This is where we part ways then Becky."
"You never will tire, will you?" Beca asked Luke and he beamed up with a teasing smile.
"I'm gonna' miss you and all the trouble you give me, you know?"
"Yes. And I'm going to miss you annoying me too." Beca replied just as Luke helped her with her luggage. She then briefly exchanged hugs with both Luke and Kaelyn and with a silent promise.
She will return.
And she will be better than ever when she does.
Beca took the heavy steps through the gate, her memories of the day she left LA for the first time resurfacing.
It's different this time, she told herself.
She loved Chloe. And it was real and it was true, not a dream and not an illusion. This time she won't make the mistake of ever questioning that. And Eli be damned, or whoever ends up standing in the way, she'll fight for her. She will.
And Beca knew that to be the truth upon looking up, her eyes landing on a vision.
Take whatever you like
Change me from the inside
I can feel you taking over
Smiling ear to ear
Chloe was standing there by the gate and for a minute or two Beca thought she was dreaming. "I saw Bree and Stacie off." Chloe then said as she stopped just a feet away from her. "Now I'm seeing you off too." she added, her voice soft and gentle as she smiled.
Guns out blazing
My heart is racing
And even the ordinary's amazing
No she wasn't dreaming, she was afraid of that for a second.
Blasts of color bounce off each other
And you are the reason why I'm
"You promised to stay in touch Mitchell, I'm holding you accountable to that." Chloe then said and Beca smiled.
Yes, this time it was different.
"I promise." Beca uttered the words lightly and Chloe accepted her reply with a smile.
"Good." Chloe then said nodding, before starting to walk away. Neither of them really seemed to want to move, but they had to. Beca guessed that perhaps this time, Chloe just didn't want to watch her walk away.
But Beca stops Chloe from leaving, reaching a hand and wrapping it around Chloe's wrist as she walked pass her. Chloe turned around, a silent question in her eyes.
Screaming at the top of my lungs
Finally I found someone
Never knew what love could do
Before you
Beca wanted to say the words.
Wait for me.
But she felt it would be too direct.
She was sure though that she wasn't letting Chloe go, not without knowing it.
And I am opening my eyes
For the very first time
I never knew what love could do
Before you
Beca's eyes met Chloe's and for the first time she thought she was really seeing Chloe. Like she was finally understanding what it all meant, whatever that 'all' was. Like everything was coming together even though the pieces were still missing. Beca knew there was a bigger picture, and it was reflected in Chloe's eyes. She just wished she knew what the image was.
So Beca smiled. Fate decided to pull them apart, there must be reason for that, and she wanted to trust in whatever that reason was.
"I promise Chloe, I promise I'll come back home as soon as I can." Beca finally said, settling on an answer.
"New York would surely welcome you back with open arms." Chloe replied with a gentle smile. Beca could see it, the wall Chloe was putting up as a defense. She was doing the best she could to let this be easy.
But Beca wouldn't let her go with just that. Chloe turned to leave again and Beca pulled her back to stop her again.
"I meant to you." she had said with a softness in her voice. "I promise Chloe."
Chloe smiled pulling her once again in a hug before reluctantly and wordlessly letting her go.
And Beca watched as Chloe waved goodbye as she made her way.
And Beca knew with an absolute truth, the promise she had made was one she intended to keep no matter what it took.