Chapter 4! Woop!

Disclaimer: not mine!

-o-

Chapter 4 - Well, I Have A Shoulder

The following two weeks passed by in a blur. Hermione spent practically every waking moment with the war council, the Inquisitor, Solas, Dorian, or Varric.

She had decided, instead of showing them the game, (she could, after all, considering that she did have more than one way of showing them her memories) to tell them everything. It was quite the process though, but by the end of the two weeks, the story of the 'Inquisitor's Path' had been written down, reviewed, and discussed until everyone was exhausted.

Hermione had decided to leave out the inner circle quests. For now. At least the quests that had no impact on the main story. Like Blackwall's quest. He was no Grey Warden, after all.

She had to talk to him. She just hadn't found the time yet.

-o-

Hermione had a lot of time to observe during those two weeks. Observe the people surrounding her.

Cullen was in pain. A lot of pain. She had to try to do something about that.

Leliana was bitter. Oh, so bitter. Could she do something about that?

Varric was tired, weighed down by guilt. She had to do something about that.

Cassandra, Josephine, and Dorian were not doing too badly, but they were tired as well.

Solas was…well, she could read him like an open book, and yet, he was ever the mystery.

He was also very lovely. And Hermione hated herself for thinking it. Falling in love with The Dread Wolf was not a good idea. Not a good idea at all. He had already broken her heart approximately eleven times in the game. And that heartbreak was most certainly nothing compared to how it would feel in real life.

Great, Hermione thought. Just bloody great.

-o-

On her sixteenth day in Thedas, Hermione was...well, empty. Just empty. She was struggling with homesickness, with fear of causing the end of the world, with her mixed feelings about The Dread Wolf, and generally just felt like utter crap.

He had called her Lethallan the other day, and Hermione had been sure her heart would explode. He had actually looked somewhat surprised himself, because it was an Elven endearment, and yet he had used it for her.

Bloody man, she thought. Bloody ancient elven god.

"Something troubling you, my dear? You look like you need a shoulder to cry on."

Hermione looked up from where she was sitting at a table in the main hall, and found Dorian standing there. "I'm just a bit tired, that's all."

He sat down across the table, and cocked his head. "Forgive me if I find that hard to believe."

Hermione gave him a tired, but amused look. "Consider yourself forgiven. You're right, after all."

"Well, I have a shoulder," Dorian said. "I even have two."

Hermione contemplated what to do. Dorian was probably the perfect person for this, but could she trust him? She knew Dorian was trustworthy, but she had been there a mere two weeks. How much loyalty had that earned her?

She could, of course, tell him about her fear of mucking things up, her homesickness, and her general state of mind, but what she really needed to talk about was her complicated state of mind around The Dread Wolf.

"You are wondering whether you can trust me, yes?"

Shrugging, Hermione smiled. "Quite frankly, yes. It's really complicated, actually, because in a way, I know you. I know you are trustworthy, loyal, and generally lovely, and I know I can tell you about my homesickness, about my fear of breaking the world, and generally how much I am panicking about everything. But…well, some things…they are just too secret. And I have only been here for two weeks, after all."

Dorian looked surprised. "That is quite the praise, to the level where I find myself unable to joke about it. Thank you. But yes, I understand. Two weeks is not much time for me to earn your loyalty, I do realise this."

Hermione shook her head. "I was actually more concerned over how much loyalty two weeks had earned me."

"Had earned you?"

"Yes," Hermione said, and nodded. "I know you, Dorian, but you do not know me. You have my loyalty. I would never repeat anything you didn't want me to. But as long as I don't have your loyalty, I am not completely sure what to do."

"Again, I find myself unable to joke. This is…unexpected. Also, I am trying to think of what could be so secret that you cannot trust anyone with it. Is it because it could possibly harm someone? If so, I can understand your hesitation."

Hermione shook her head. "Harm someone? No," she said, but then she rolled her eyes. "Well, other than me that is. And only on an emotional level."

"Hermione Granger," Dorian said, raising a sassy eyebrow. "Am I sensing some troubles of the heart?" Hermione's expression apparently said it all, and Dorian continued. "Hah! I knew it. Is it me? It's me isn't it? I have captured your heart with my wit and charm, and now you are hopelessly in love with me."

Hermione had to laugh. "If only. And that is saying something, considering how I am the wrong gender to even stand a chance with you."

Dorian's eyes sparked with interest. "So this huge secret is something as innocent as your…well, love life?"

Hermione nodded. "Basically, yes. Or, more aptly put; my non-existing love life."

"Hermione Granger," Dorian said, still with eyes sparkling with intrigue, "what would you have me do to convince you I am, indeed, worthy of your trust?"

"Promise me."

"Pardon?"

"Swear to me that you will keep my secret."

Dorian looked utterly perplexed. "That's it?"

"That's it."

He stared at her for a moment, but then he inclined his head, and put his hand over his heart. "I give you my whole-heartedly promise, and my oath, that I will not betray your trust. I swear to you, Hermione Granger, that I will keep your secrets."

Hermione gazed at him for a long moment. "Tonight?" she said, raising an eyebrow. "You bring the shoulder, I bring the wine? My quarters?"

"Consider me there."

-o-

Later that night, Dorian was nicely settled in her sofa in front of the fireplace, a glass of elf-made wine in his hand, and eyes sparkling with intrigue.

Hermione had arranged the table, and they had a cheese platter, popcorn, biscuits, and all things nice.

"Now," Hermione said, rolling her eyes, "I am well aware that the things that should trouble me the most are the end of the world, and how I miss home - believe me, these are real issues I spend far too much time thinking about - but those are logical, reasonable issues, and I can talk quite freely about them."

"I have both shoulders and ears, if you find yourself in need of them."

She smiled. "Thank you. Really. But I would like - right at this point - to talk about the ridiculous, and rather foolish emotional state of my heart."

"My ears and shoulders are ready," Dorian said, but then his eyes glimmered with amusement. "It's Cullen, isn't it? The tormented, brave man. He is rather irresistible."

Hermione laughed. "Well, not that I disagree, but no, it's not Cullen."

"And I was so sure it had to be him," Dorian said, shaking his head. "If not our tormented Templar, then who is it?"

"Solas."

Dorian actually gasped. "Our ancient, elven god? Oh, my."

Hermione sighed. "Indeed. This isn't, however, something that has developed over the past two weeks. Solas has actually broken my heart somewhere around eleven times."

"Pardon?"

Hermione blushed. "Well, there is something I have failed to mention about the Dragon Age games. They have…well, erm, romance options."

"Consider me endlessly intrigued, and equally confused."

Hermione had to laugh. "I'll explain."

-o-

Thirty minutes later, Hermione had explained the dialogue-system, the options, the development in relationships; basically everything related to the Dragon Age companion system.

"This is why I feel like I know you so well," she said before smirking at him. "And let me just admit right away, before you ask, that I have, in fact, seen you bare naked. Not the front, though. But that behind of yours is rather fetching."

Dorian just stared at her for a long moment, and Hermione wondered if she had overstepped, but then he threw his head back and laughed. "Amazing! That's just amazing!"

She grinned at him. "I made a male character for the sole purpose of romancing you. I played through the whole thing – about 90 hours or so of gameplay – just because you are one of my top five favourite characters in the whole Dragon Age series. And let me tell you, that is saying something. I have cursed you for being gay on several occasions. I always play female characters."

Dorian threw his head back and laughed again.

-o-

A little while later, Dorian sipped his wine before cocking his head, looking at her. "Now. Perhaps you would explain to me how our Dread Wolf has broken your heart on several occasions?"

She nodded. "I could do that, or I could show you. This is rather overstepping the lines, and one of the reasons for why you can't tell anyone."

Dorian placed his hand over his heart instantly. "I solemnly swear."

-o-

She explained some more while setting up the pensieve, and then sat down and gave Dorian a sheepish look. "Believe me, this is going to be awkward for me."

The pensieve was actually one of Hermione's creations. Inspired by the cinema, Hermione had worked to find a way to display the memories instead of diving into the pensieve itself. She had eventually found a way, making the pensieve into a magical projector, more or less. It was rather neat.

She blushed furiously as her memory of the television screen appeared in the air in front them, and they saw the character. (The character she had created that looked dangerously like Hermione herself. She had spent almost two hours creating it, and the resemblance was uncanny.)

"Oh, my," she heard Dorian whisper as he gazed at the character. "I'll say."

"Indeed," Hermione replied, and focused, putting on display the memory from the first time Solas flirted with her.

-o-

Dorian's eyes were completely fixed on the memories the whole time. He didn't say a word, the only sounds that could be heard from him was a sigh every now and then, his breath hitching on several occasions, and she could see a genuine mournful expression when the cut scene in the glen ended.

They watched Leliana tell the Inquisitor about how they failed to find him, and then the memory stopped.

Dorian just stared blankly into the empty air.

"And how many times did you say you put yourself through this?" he eventually whispered.

She sighed. "Eleven, I think."

Dorian turned to look at her. "Not that I am judging, but why would you even do that to yourself?"

Hermione gave him an amused smile as she shook her head. "Well, to mend my foolish, broken heart, I started the romance over again."

"I think The Dread Wolf just broke my heart as well. I did not know he was so…passionate. I always thought he was rather dull."

Hermione nodded. "That was what I thought at first as well. Turns out I was wrong."

"Wrong would be an understatement," Dorian said, but then he gave her a puzzled look. "How did you know he is The Dread Wolf? I saw no mention of it."

Hermione had prepared herself for this question, and told him a semi-truth. "It was revealed after the game ended."

She hoped Dorian wouldn't ask any follow-up questions, and supressed the urge to sigh in relief when he didn't. "Ah, I see," was all he said. "Quite the plot-twist."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Oh, you have no idea. I was shell-shocked for weeks. I kind of still am." Shaking her head, she continued. "Anyway, this is why I have all kinds of mixed feelings right now."

"You know what?" Dorian asked. "That; I completely understand."

-o-

Telling Dorian about it did not solve the problem in any way, but it did help, nevertheless. She felt better, and she'd had a lovely evening.

And I really believe he won't tell anyone, she thought as she downed a sober-up potion, and climbed into bed, falling asleep within minutes.