Just in case anyway else asks, I know there's this thing with the Pac-Man Ghost Room being inaccessible to "good guys", but I reason that since Zangief isn't an official "bad guy" and is able to go in there, then it's okay for Turbo to go in.

Save Me from My Dark Side

Chapter Six

The last thing Felix expected when he opened his front door was have an extra chipper redhead asking him to help bake cookies. Rosie was talking too fast for him to fully keep up with her, his head moving in tiny circles as he tried to listen and let it all sink in. Calhoun was sitting on the couch in the living room, smirking to herself as she finished off the beer she had.

"Cookies?" the handyman simply repeated when Rosie finally calmed down.

She slumped her shoulders in an exaggerated fashion. "Yeah, you said you'd help me cook next time I wanted to."

"And you want to right now?" he wanted to clarify, still lightheaded from hearing the rushed speech he had only heard half of.

"That's why I'm here, silly!" she grinned widely, perking up again. "I want to make chocolate chip cookies. They're Turbo's favorite, and I want to surprise him when he comes home."

Calhoun coughed politely to the side, having heard from Felix about how the teen had nearly burnt her kitchen down. "This I gotta see."

Felix was still a little flabbergasted as the sudden chore he had to do, not that he minded helping of course, it was just so random.

"I...I don't have anything to bake..."

His voice trailed off when Rosie shoved a huge bag of grocery items in his arms and skipped herself into the penthouse.

"Thanks, Felix, I knew you'd be helpful."

"Cookies...with..." he finished quietly as he struggled with the heavy bag, turning around to try kicking the door shut before making his way to his kitchen without (hopefully) bumping into anything.

The blonde sergeant had to stifle a laugh at the sight of her husband carrying a sack almost as big as he was. When he passed by her, she whispered,

"Don't let the prom queen mix up the sugar and salt." She had to bite her lip to keep from laughing. "I'd hate to see you taste-test one and then develop Shriveled Lips Syndrome."

Felix shifted his arms carefully under the bag's weight. "I hope she's not that lethal of a cook."

FIFTEEN MINUTES LATER

Calhoun was doubled over on the stool she had taken to sit in, laughing so hard she could hardly breathe. Flour covered both the counter and floor, and the only part of Felix that was visible were his eyes when he finally decided to open them. Rosie had her hands behind her back with a large apologetic smile on her face, digging the toe of her shoe into the floor.

"Sorry," she told the flour-dusted handyman, her face flushing as she glanced back and forth between him and his wife, still in hysterics.

Felix sighed to himself and wiped his face with a nearby dishtowel. "No harm done," he replied, trying to maintain his usual friendliness as not to hurt her feelings. "I...probably should have mentioned that the...mixer had a low speed setting before I...," he cleared his throat, "let you touch it."

Rosie peeked back over at the mixer and asked quite innocently, "Oh, it has settings?"

He facepalmed himself while she wasn't looking and ran his hand down the length of his face in exasperation. So much for this being an ordinary baking lesson.

Clyde was floating in place, his mouth in a straight line and his serious eyes gazing upward as he waited for Ralph to explain himself. The meeting itself didn't start for another good twenty minutes, which meant not everyone had arrived, thank Namco, because they were sure to be in an uproar about Ralph's little...guest. The few that were there were already boiling hot. Clyde had given everyone an exaggerated smile before nearly shoving Ralph out into the main hallway outside the meeting room in order to have a moment of privacy.

The wrecker ran both hands through his hair and breathed out in a loud huff. "Look, I just thought that since the group's about second chances and finding peace in yourself, that it would be good for him."

"You really should have asked permission before bringing him in here," Clyde told him, motioning with his eyes back towards the room as if he could see through the wall and look at you-know-who.

"I know I should have, but-"

"But you thought I'd say no."

The response cut like a knife, causing Ralph to tense up. He felt like a child being scolded by their mother for bringing in a stray puppy without permission, fearing that the animal would tear the house apart even though all he was doing was sitting there and being as obedient as could be. Ralph wished he knew what was going on that room; it was soundproof so that the Ghosts could have their break time without Pac-Man eavesdropping on them, and it came in handy during Bad-Anon meetings.

The orange ghost shut his eyes completely and sighed, taking Ralph's silence as an answer. After a minute or two, he finally opened them back up and tilted his body upwards so he could talk to Ralph more comfortably.

"You're right, Ralph, the group is essentially about coming to terms with issues arising from villainy."

"I sense a 'but' on the end of that."

Clyde nodded once. "But...this can't be a regular thing. It was hard enough convincing Pac-Man to allow other villains inside this game when I first started organizing Bad-Anon. I can't imagine how he'd react if he found out I let him in here, even if it was without my knowledge."

"You know, he has a name," Ralph retorted, perhaps ruder than he intended. He felt instantly ashamed, knowing that it was only natural of Clyde to think of the group as a whole when something supposedly threatened. He hadn't even thought about the possibility that Pac-Man could actually get upset enough to ban meetings for good because of this. Okay, maybe not forever, since they could always relocate, but still...

Clyde floated back a few inches, abashed. "I know that, it's just...you have to understand, Ralph. His name's been a taboo subject for so many years. It sounds foreign to be using it in its proper sense again."

It was Ralph's turn to sigh then hold his hands out in a show of peace. "Listen, I know this is really unexpected and sudden, but trust me on this. I wouldn't bring him here if I didn't think some good would come out of it. I mean, you guys really helped me out, so I thought it would be nice to share it with someone who might need it more. He's really been trying to start over and no one seems to be giving him a chance."

He saw the formation of a small smile on Clyde's face when he finished speaking. "You're absolutely right. It's amazing how far you've come since you first joined us. I'm almost ashamed of myself for calling myself the group leader after this."

A pin drop could have been heard in that room. The second Ralph and Clyde had exited, Turbo began trying to decipher which of these guys was going to be the one to kill him. Thankfully, the room hadn't filled yet but regardless it was a very sinking, uncomfortable feeling to be stared down like a wildebeest at the mercy of a lion's hunting party. He decided to at least try to make the best of it, having to sadly remind himself that he really should have expected some hostility.

He chalked up his best smile despite his internal urge to flee from danger and tugged at his collar.

"So, uh...nice day we're having, huh?"

Apparently no one else thought so. Neff from Altered Beast literally snorted in response. Bowser just sat quietly while twirling his stirrer in his coffee cup, keeping a steady glare fixated on the racer. Turbo couldn't tell if Dr. Eggman was looking at him or not through his shades, the man being slumped in his seat with his legs stretched out before him and his arms crossed. Mishaela of Shining Force laid back coolly in her seat, glancing at her nails, her legs crossed sensually over each other. Kano was sitting backwards in his seat, as per the norm, his arms folded across the back of the chair and his chin resting on top of those.

At least M. Bison wasn't in there. That would have been a nightmare.

"Right...I agree, it's not a nice day," Turbo answered himself, his voice getting smaller the more he talked. "At all...in the least."

The forced smile Turbo was wearing grew more nervous and sweat began to pour off him. He began to mentally scream for Ralph to come back in, hoping that maybe he would suddenly gain the ability to hold telepathic conversation with him and thus come save him from this insanely awkward silence. Bowser finally stopped stirring his coffee, took a sip, then put his cup to the side of his chair, leaning forward slightly so he could rest his elbows on his knees and prop his head up with his palms as if to study his prey.

"What made you think it was okay to come here?" the king of Koopas asked in his deep growling voice.

It wasn't a question that he wanted to answer but at least someone broke the silence.

"I...I...got invited," Turbo answered quietly, still trying to keep a smile up.

Neff snorted again. "You're not even a bad guy," he said flatly. Then he smirked after a second and added, "Well, not a programmed one anyway."

Turbo gulped, the smile slowly fading away.

Mishaela didn't shift her gaze away from her nails when she spoke. "You're not like us. We're bad because we're designed to be. We can't help it if it's our job."

"Yeah, you did bad things on your own free will," Eggman spoke up, pointing accusingly at the racer. "No one told you to do it. We don't have a choice to but to play villains in our games, but you! You were a star! You chose to do the things you did."

He was well aware of that but it still made him feel shitty hearing it from other people, especially people he didn't even know on a personal level. He glanced nervously at the door, trying to keep an eye on both it and the villains in the room just in case they decided to jump up and kill him. His smile had disappeared completely and now he was just downright terrified. Any one of these people could easily snap his neck like a toothpick. Where the hell was Ralph at? What was taking him so long?

"If you're thinking about bolting to the door, you wouldn't make it before I rip your heart out," Kano warned him gravely, a sinister look in both his real eye and his robotic one.

"Hey, c-come on, fellas," Turbo started, trying to remain on a friendly turf. He was visibly shaking in his chair, his hands clenched down on the sides of it in a death grip. "Let's lighten up a little."

He didn't like the flint of mischievous evil in Bowser's eyes.

"Lighten up you say?" he nearly purred.

Turbo's eyes got wide as saucers when the enormous Koopa opened his mouth up wide and...

FIRE.

Fire meant pain. Sheer, indescribable, unmatched, agonizing pain.

Somehow he managed to unfreeze himself from his sitting position in the chair right before it incinerated to ashes from Bowser's fire-breath. Turbo scurried himself into a corner, his legs curled up to where his knees reached his chin and he hugged himself as he tried to shake off the flashback of being burned alive in the Diet Cola Mountain and, to a lesser extent, almost doing the same in the Brave Firefighters' library. All he could see was the bright towering geyser of Cola Lava getting closer and closer to him by the second as his fear-induced daydream grabbed a hold of him.

Everyone in the room began cracking up, not realizing the full impact that Bowser's trick on him. Turbo didn't even notice at first and by the time he snapped back to reality the large spike-shelled reptilian creature had gotten even closer to him.

"Aww, is da wittle guy afwaid of fi-yuh?" Mishaela asked in a pouty baby voice, having finally had her attention drawn from her nails.

Was he? Was he scared of fire? Turbo had never given it much thought until now. Could anyone really blame him though if he did?

His pupils were but tiny pinholes in his otherwise big yellow eyes as he stared fearfully at Bowser sneering down at him with some degree of amusement.

"Anyone want barbecue?" he joked...or didn't joke, depending on whose viewpoint one was to go by.

Bowser's face suddenly went from one of playful malice to one of...shock. A pair of giant hands had suddenly latched onto his tail and Turbo watched dazedly as the Koopa King went first straight up in the air and then flying to the other side of the room, crashing harshly into the wall. It was enough to cause a mini-earthquake in the room, toppling all the empty chairs over, the coffee table's remnants scattered messily all over its surface, and the remaining villains even shrieked slightly as they held onto their own seats.

"What do you think you're doing?" Ralph asked in a very pissed voice, which was pretty frightening coming from a larger than life man known to possess a temper problem.

Bowser had landed upside down with tiny 8-bit Marios flying around his head to symbolize dizziness. He put a clawed hand to his head and groaned miserably, trying to roll over onto his stomach so he could try and stand up. Someone coughed and the sound of seat shuffling could be heard as everyone tried to put themselves back as they were originally. While everyone was distracted, Turbo took advantage and slowly crawled towards the door, which was thankfully on the adjacent wall to the right and not on the opposite one where Bowser had landed.

"I believe I asked a question," the wrecker repeated, his scowl not fading.

Kano finally spoke up. "We were just having a bit of fun, Ralph."

"Fun? Fun?" he parroted shrilly, not believing what he was hearing. "You call trying to scorch a guy to death fun?"

Bowser appeared sheepish as he stumbled his way back to his seat, knocking over his coffee cup in the process. "It can be."

"Now, Bowser," Clyde intervened in his usual calm manner. "We've had talks about controlling your urge to set fire to people that anger you."

He shrugged, feeling ashamed now that Clyde was getting onto him. "Sorry, I couldn't help myself."

"Oh, that's a load of bricks!" Ralph interjected, pointing fiercely at the Koopa. "You did it on purpose and you know it."

He then swept his disapproving gaze around the rest of the room. "And that goes for the rest of you, too. I didn't bring him here for you guys to bully. I thought out of all the people in this arcade, you guys would be the most understanding of what it meant to be given a glimmer of hope that life isn't all about the bad things you do, but who you are on the inside. Being willing to change and show people that there's more to us than what we do."

"But Ralph..." Eggman started slowly, almost afraid to speak up. "That's Turbo you're talking about."

"Who cares who it is?" Ralph countered back. "That shouldn't matter. The point is that I brought him here because I thought it would benefit him to be around people that are kind of in the same position he's in. I know we never killed anyone or done any real crimes outside the ones we're programmed to do, but the outlook society has on us is the same that they have on him. It has the same effect. And since he's obviously going to be around for a while, I thought it would be a good idea for him to come here to try and figure out how to deal with the social exclusion he's going through."

No one knew how to respond to that. Even Clyde kept quiet, hovering just above the ground as he opted to let Ralph get everything off his chest versus interrupting him.

"Well, congratulations, guys," Ralph said, the edge in his tone apparent. "At least you know you're in the right spot. You're definitely 'bad' guys for sure now."

He turned around to ask Turbo if he was okay but to his surprise the racer was no longer there. Spinning back around, Ralph glanced around the room, wondering where he'd gone off too then realized he must have left while the attention was taken off of him. Without even so much as a good-bye, he bolted to the door, nearly knocking Mishaela out of her chair as he did so and went down the hall.

It didn't take long to spot him since he hadn't gotten that far. The poor guy had his hands in his pockets, his head hanging down to the floor as he barely shuffled along at a snail's pace. Ralph felt horribly responsible for what had happened, since he should have been keeping an eye on him the whole time, but he hadn't counted on Clyde wanting to have a private talk out in the hallway.

Turbo could tell Ralph was behind him because of the loud footsteps and the vibrations in the floor. "If you think I'm going back in there, you can forget it."

"Turbo, I apologize profusely for whatever happened in there. I never would have invited you over if I'd known they were going to pull a stunt like that."

The racer stopped for a second and sighed deeply, keeping his head down low so Ralph couldn't see his face.

"They were right," he said at length in a soft voice. "I'm not like the rest of you. You guys are bad because it's your job; it was given it to you by your developers. I'm bad because I'm..."

"Because nothing, look that doesn't matter anymore," Ralph interrupted him. "That's all water under the bridge."

"Yeah, and it's the same one that people would like to throw me off of and watch me drown."

Ralph was taken aback at his grim response. "Hey, now, don't be saying stuff like that. It's not healthy."

"Well, it's true, isn't it?"

The wrecker hadn't expected the sudden mood switch. Turbo had practically growled the words out, his head now raised to show off a pained glare. He may have looked mad but Ralph could see the hurt flickering behind those glowing eyes.

"There's no sense trying to sugarcoat it," Turbo kept on as more anger slipped into his speech. "Even people who do bad things for a living don't want me around. What does that say about me?"

Ralph didn't even answer that, not sure what he would've said anyway. "Hey, take it from me, if you let people's opinions rule your life, it's going to make you miserable. I should know, I spent the first thirty years of my life letting my reputation as a villain keep me from trying to find happiness in myself. And yeah, there's still people that don't want to talk to me, but so what?"

He shrugged his shoulders indifferently. "I realized that I'm fine with who I am and I shouldn't have to worry living my life according to what other people say about me."

"No offense, but I doubt people were saying the same things about you that they are about me," Turbo snipped back stubbornly, too upset to really listen to what was being told to him.

Ralph blew his breath out slowly, trying to avoid the temptation to pick the smaller man up and shake some sense into him.

"I appreciate the offer to help and all that jazz, but I think it's safe to assume I'm a lost cause," the racer added, turning away and walking off, signalling that he was done with the conversation.

"Where are you going?" Ralph called after him, hoping he didn't go get himself into trouble.

"To go make myself feel better," he muttered under his breath and with that he disappeared towards the portal train.

Movie quote that I found heartbreaking in retrospect:

Ralph: Is it "Turbo" to want a friend? Or a medal? Or a piece of pie every once in a while? Is it "Turbo" to want more out of life?

Cyril the Zombie: Yes.