Chaaapter 19! I'm getting much better at posting frequently, aren't I?
Thank you all for being the wonderful people you are, because wow, the feedback I'm getting is just amazing! Thank you!
Disclaimer: not mine.
-o-
Chapter 19 - Rather Ambitious
The travel back to Skyhold was, in fact, great. Especially because she was riding next to The Cheerful Dread Wolf. He was downright enthusiastic when he spoke, telling her stories, teaching her elven, or just talking, and it made her ridiculously happy.
"Who knew all The Dread Wolf needed was to get laid, and he – mpfh. Mpfh!"
Hermione grinned at Dorian. "Neat, wouldn't you agree? It's called Langlock, and its purpose is to glue your tongue to the roof of your mouth. Neat."
"Mpfh!" Dorian said again. "Mphfmph!"
Solas laughed. "Neat, indeed."
-o-
Being back at Skyhold was marvellous. Just marvellous.
They had survived the Fade.
Defeated the Nightmare, and with it; the demon army.
They were all alive.
Solas was alive.
He had almost died.
Almost died.
But he was alive.
And he was hers.
For now, a small voice in Hermione's head said. For now.
She didn't know what would happen, after all. What Solas would do when all this was over. He might still intend to leave. The Dread Wolf had his...duties, after all. At least he thought he did.
Oh, just don't leave, she thought. Just...don't leave.
Don't leave me.
-o-
Halamshiral was still three weeks away, and Hermione was glad to have time to prepare. Not to mention rest. She could really use some rest.
Although, all rest and no work made Hermione a dull girl. She was rarely the one to loiter, after all.
They had barely managed to return to Skyhold before Hermione found herself a project to keep herself occupied.
Curing Cullen.
Rather ambitious, she gladly admitted as much, but she would have to begin at some point.
Rather sooner than later, she thought as she scanned her bookshelves. Although I do need some material on Lyrium.
-o-
She was scanning the Skyhold library, and on impulse, she walked up the stairs to Leliana, finding the spymaster there, sitting at a table, looking rather gloomy.
"Leliana," Hermione said as she sat down with her, "you have got to stop this."
Leliana gave her a confused look. "Pardon?"
"This self-hatred. You have got to stop. You have no reason to hate yourself in the manner you do. Remember that I know practically everything. I know what choices you have made, what you have done, and your history. And since I have this knowledge, I know you don't have to hate yourself. Forgive yourself - not that there is much to forgive - nevertheless; forgive yourself. Now, I'm going to try to find a cure for Lyrium addiction - don't tell Cullen, because I have no idea whether it's possible - so I have to go. I just wanted to tell you how I felt. See you later, Leliana."
Leliana just stared after her when she left.
-o-
Scanning the bookshelves again, she noticed someone - someone she had been thinking about quite a lot since her arrival in Thedas.
Grand Enchanter Fiona.
Not to mention - Alistair's mother.
Wonder if there's a way to reconcile them, she thought as she picked a book from the shelf. Wonder if there is something I can do.
'You can't save everyone', was that the saying? Didn't mean she couldn't try.
-o-
She was sitting on the living room floor, surrounded by books, parchments, quills, ink, everything one would need for a good research-session, when she felt The Dread Wolf approach her wards. She flicked a finger, opening the door, and he entered.
"Lethallan," he said, smiling, but then he noticed her current state, and gave her a puzzled look. "What is going on here, exactly?"
"Curing Lyrium addiction," she stated, smiling back at him. "Attempting to cure Lyrium addiction, at least."
His eyebrows rose in surprise. "That's…ambitious, I must say." His eyes narrowed as he continued. "You should be resting, Vhenan."
"I have rested enough, honestly," she replied softly, "and this is not draining me. It's rather the opposite, in fact."
He gazed at her for a long moment. "Can I be of any assistance?"
Hermione beamed at him as she nodded. "Some assistance would be lovely, actually."
-o-
"This is remarkable, Hermione," Solas said an hour or so later. "I honestly believe your idea has merit."
Hermione was lying on her belly on the soft rug, her nose in a book about Templar history, but looked up at The Dread Wolf. He was reading her notes.
"You do?" she asked, putting the book down. "Already?"
He met her eyes. "This is a new way of looking at it, I believe. That Lyrium addiction is, in fact, a form of poisoning, but a curse, as well. It has merit. How did you think of it?"
"Well, every addiction is a form of poisoning. Usually, it can be flushed out of the system, but since this is a magical poisoning, it acts as a curse as well. This is my theory, at least. I have a degree in potions - Potions Master it's called - and I have a degree in curse-breaking as well. And to me, this looks like a magical poisoning, so to speak."
He gazed at her for a long moment. "I know you dislike hearing it," he said softly, "but you continue to astound me. Is there anything you cannot do? I find myself wondering; however – whenever – did you find the time to learn all this?"
"I never found my place," she replied quietly. "I never figured out what I wanted to do with my life. I kept searching for some purpose, something that made me feel...content. I didn't find it until I came here."
"Because this is where you belong, perhaps."
She smiled. "I'm almost beginning to believe that, yes."
"I'm glad," The Dread Wolf said, ever so softly.
-o-
The next morning, Hermione woke up with Solas wrapped around her, and she had yet another moment where she practically prayed that he wouldn't leave, when all this was over.
Perhaps I can go with him, if he leaves, she thought, snuggling even closer. Or perhaps he will stay.
She could only hope.