Instead of checking into another hotel, Cas and Dean found a park on the outskirts of town, complete with a playground, picnic tables, and trails. After spending so much time inside the last week, Dean just felt like he needed to be outside. He and Sammy used to park the Impala in places like this and shoot the shit, drink a few beers, and relax after a hunt. He always felt better outdoors, as if it were his true element. Dean thought of Sam and shuddered.

The two of them were sitting on some picnic tables, staring at the stars, enjoying the brisk air.

"Cas… do you think whatever brought you back might be able to bring Sam back too?" Dean asked.

Cas shook his head. "I don't know, Dean. I don't know what brought me back. I prayed. I summoned until I couldn't anymore. I read all of Bobby's books. As far as I could tell, the only beings that could bring an Angel back and do… this… to them is God or another angel. And neither angels nor God is answering me."

"What about Bobby?" Dean asked.

"I don't know, Dean. I don't know anymore. I don't know why this is happening to me. I don't know why you are alone in this world. I thought I could figure it out, but the second I fell asleep last night, I gave up any notions of knowing." He said.

"Why's that?" Dean asked, a little worried about his answer.

"Because I slept." He said.

"You slept?"

"I have never needed sleep before. I have never needed food. I have never been unable to heal people. I have never not been an angel. But what I know is that, well, I am not one anymore. Dean, I am becoming a man. One thing you said at the diner was correct. I've known it for awhile, but Jimmy is gone. He died when Lucifer killed me." Cas said, sounding a little miserable.

"And you didn't tell me?" Dean asked, feeling insulted.

"I didn't want to admit it. I didn't want to admit that this body is all I have now. I didn't want to admit that I sent Jimmy into Heaven not knowing what was up there anymore. Despite what I have put his body through, I always loved his soul. He was a great man and I got him killed." Cas said brokenly, staring at the sky, as if he thought God still might be up there.

After Cas admitted that he knew Jimmy was gone, Dean and the fallen angel didn't speak for awhile. Dean felt a little angry, slightly betrayed that Cas had kept Jimmy's death from him, but Cas had said it: he didn't want to admit it to himself, let alone to anyone else. Dean knew he had no room to judge him either. After all, how often had he hidden things from his family and friends? They were a strange pair, the two of them. They were liars, they were heroes.

After awhile, Cas broke the silence. "So, Bondurant, Iowa." He said slowly.

"Yeah man, Bondurant, Iowa. I don't know. It seemed like a good place to plant roots for a few days. Mostly I just wanted to get the hell out of Kansas. Nothing good ever happens there. I don't know why we stayed for so long." Dean said.

"What next, though?" Cas asked.

"For me, I think it's Bobby's house. I think it's South Dakota for awhile." Dean said.

"Bobby's? Won't it be painful for you to be there without him or Sam?" Cas asked.

"Cas, I have more good memories of that place than bad ones. Good memories of both Sam and Bobby. Without Bobby, there is no one in the house, no one to work the phones. That house is the only real 'home' I ever had in my entire life. I feel like I should be there until I figure out my next move. It's the only thing that makes sense to me." Dean said.

"Can I come with you?"

"Of course you can, dude. I don't want to be there alone. But you can't follow me for the rest of your life. You need to go your own way. What do you want to do? Now that you're…" Dean started.

"…human." Cas finished. "The first thing, the only thing I can think about is finding out who brought me back, what turned me human. I need to find out why I am here, and what purpose there is for doing this to me."

"Yeah buddy, I can see why you want to find out, but you said it yourself, the only beings with the power to do that are other angels and the Big Man himself. I'm not trying to get you down… but so far you haven't had luck with either." Dean responded

"It has been a week, Dean. I certainly don't give up after a week. Going to Bobby's, where there's more books, more supplies, and going into this with a clear head is exactly what I need to find out why this happened to me. I will find out. And then… we are going to find a way to get Sam and Adam out." Cas said.

Adam.

The cold, hard truth of the matter was that since they had averted the apocalypse, Dean hadn't thought much about Adam at all. He had too much pain for Sammy, Bobby, Cas, and himself. Adam was secondary in his concern because there simply wasn't enough pain to go around. Although Dean didn't think about it much, the younger Winchester, their secret brother, was down there with Sam too. And unlike him and Sam, Adam had never had any clue about what was out there. He hadn't wanted to be a part of this, but because Dean hadn't said yes, and because Sam had said yes, Adam was in Hell.

"Sam, Adam, Bobby and Jimmy are the victims here, Dean. Not us." Cas said softly. "I may be human, and you may be… well, suicidal, but we are alive. We are here on earth. We have a second chance to do whatever we want with our lives. That is an opportunity that Jimmy, Sam, Adam and Bobby will never have again. Sam and Adam deserve this opportunity too, which is why we have to spend some of our second chance trying to get them out."

"But how, Cas? We're just men. This includes you. I am no longer an almighty vessel and you are no longer an angel. Believe me, I want them out, probably way more than you do, but no demons will deal and we are just two guys." Dean said.

When he said that, Castiel's face lit up with anger, his indigo eyes flashing. Dean gulped. He had pissed him off again and prepared to be choked or thrown across the park. He glanced down at Cas's fists, which were clenched tightly. Apparently Cas also felt betrayed.

"You tried to make a deal with a demon?" Cas said angrily. "After everything you went through before? Why, Dean? Why would you do that? How could you be so stupid?"

"Of course I did. It's Sammy, and he's not just dead this time. He's in Hell. I'd go back there again in five seconds if it meant he could get out. Except get this: Hell doesn't want me anymore. They want Sam. No demon was willing to make a deal with me. The ones I tried… they all laughed in my face." Dean muttered, remembering the red, laughing eyes of one of the Crossroads Demons he had summoned one day last week when he wasn't busy drinking and moping.

Cas softened when he said that. Maybe the days of getting the shit kicked out him by the nerd angel were finally over. Dean couldn't deny he was happy about that.

"Well, I killed that bastard, stuck that knife in him. That's all I could do. I killed all of them after they laughed at me and said their new boss would never allow it." Dean muttered.

"Hell has a new boss?" Cas said, suddenly interested.

"Yeah man, I'm sorry; I should have said something about that. At the time, I didn't think about it… I was only thinking about getting Sammy out, about killing those goddamn demons." Dean murmured.

Cas looked thoughtful for a second, as if a million ideas were running through his head. Dean hoped he wouldn't say that they should take on this new boss, whoever the sonofabitch was. He had no interest in taking on Hell again. It was there for a reason and it would always be there. All he cared about was getting Sam out and not returning there himself.

"Cas, no." Dean said. "Not tonight, Cas. I have no interest in meeting Lucifer's replacement."

"I know, I know… it'd be foolish. But this is a clue, Dean. Someone took over. Things are moving. That must mean… well, I wonder if Heaven has a new boss yet, now that Michael is gone." Cas said.

"It's probably that asshole Raphael." Dean muttered, thinking of the perpetually cocky grin that always seemed to cover the archangel's face. God, Raphael pissed him off.

"I should hope not. If Raphael is in charge, then things could be very bad… for all of us." Cas said, looking a little worried.

Dean decided to change the subject. Castiel was no longer a part of that world. He couldn't do anything about Heaven. He was stuck on earth and this was where he could make a difference now. Although Dean didn't share Castiel's enthusiasm for trying to find out why he was back, nor did Dean believe deep in his heart that they'd ever find a way to get Sammy out. Everything that he could think of, he'd already tried, and everything he hadn't thought of, Sam had tried when Dean was in Hell, and none of those had worked.

Finally Dean spoke up. "So we have a plan then, Cas. We go to Bobby's, set up shop there and try to find out why you're here and how to get Sammy back. While we're there, we can work the phones, maybe pick up a few hunts, maybe get some jobs. One day at a time, but at least for now we have a plan."

"Do we go tonight?" Cas asked, looking over at him.

"No. I am too tired to drive. Let's get a room in town, maybe some beers, and see if there is a game on." Dean said, even though the thought of drinking any kind of alcohol made him queasy after all of the whiskey and bourbon from the night before.

"I do not like beer." Cas said firmly. "To be honest, I prefer whiskey or red wine. The night I discovered that liquor store, the beer made me feel bloated and tired. Plus I think this body might be mildly allergic to hops."

"Well, no whiskey for me. Come to think of it, I'm not going to drink tonight." Dean said.

"That is probably smart, considering your projectile vomiting last night." Cas said, "but I would like to purchase some alcohol. I am interested in how my constitution has changed since I… well, since I came back."

"Alright man, some booze for you, some soda for me, and a game for the both of us." Dean said.

An hour later, Dean and Cas were checking into the only motel in town, a rundown place called the "Moonlight Motel" and it was the kind of place that rented by the hour. Dean was almost embarrassed to be getting a room in a place like that, because he didn't want anyone to think Cas was a hooker or that he was renting a room with a guy for those reasons. He made it abundantly clear that they needed two beds and the bored clerk just stared at him when he emphasized this.

They entered the room and set down their bags, which were filled with snacks and wine for Cas and settled in. Cas pulled out the wine and stared at it, mystified. Dean sat down on the room's uncomfortable couch and turned on the television, flicking through the channels until he found a basketball game.

Cas plopped down next to him, holding the wine, which still wasn't open. He squinted at the television and made a face. Clearly Cas didn't know how to open a wine bottle, nor did he find basketball amusing.

"Cas, do you want me to open that?" Dean asked. "It needs a corkscrew."

"The last time I consumed alcohol, I did not need a corkscrew, nor was it an issue for me to pull the cork out myself." Cas said unhappily. "Do you have this tool for opening this bottle?"

"Yeah man, of course I do. I'm a casual alcoholic, you know." Dean replied.

Dean stood up and used the corkscrew keychain to open the red wine. Dean found it amusing that Cas only liked red wine, but not white and that he was mystified by a corkscrew. Dean handed Cas the bottle, which he would have to drink straight from, Dean-style, because they had no cups except a slightly moldy travel mug of Sam's that was in the Impala. Dean planned on never washing it, never tossing it, because Sammy had chugged coffee from it during his last day on earth.

They sat there for awhile, watching two Midwestern NCAA teams playing. Cas drank slowly and watched the game intently, as if he was trying to figure out exactly what was going on between the basketball teams. Dean wasn't too interested in it. Basketball was his least favorite sport. He preferred football and hockey, which in his opinion were real sports because of how violent they were. Dean loved violence.

Finally Cas spoke up. "Dean, this is stupid. A game of bean stalks throwing orange leather spheres into hoops does not interest in the slightest and I am growing irritated by how often they run into each other on purpose. Pure stupidity Give me the remote." He complained.

Dean chuckled and handed Cas the remote. When Cas could not figure out how to operate it, Dean took it back and flipped through the channels. Finally Cas decided that he wanted to watch Scarface, which actually was one of Dean's all-time favorite movies.

"I adore Al Pacino. He is a wonderful character and I love his voice. I had a sister who loved him too." Cas said wistfully.

"Angels follow American movies?" Dean asked, genuinely interested. He didn't think angels gave a crap about pop culture, especially movies made in the last 100 years.

"As a rule, angels do not watch movies. We have no time for such frivolities." He said, "But my sister, Mariel, was stationed in California for 96 years and she watched the rise of Hollywood. She loved the culture. She used to bring back the most wonderful stories to Heaven, including stories about watching movies being made. Her favorite movie set during her 100 years in Hollywood was Scarface."

Dean was impressed. Mariel actually sounded pretty legitimate for an angel, especially if she was a spy on the Scarface set. Why hadn't Cas summoned someone like her? Dean wished that Cas had introduced him to angels like her, instead of assholes like Zachariah and Uriel. There was so little Dean actually knew about Heaven and angels, except that they were crazy powerful and also tended to be huge pricks. When Cas off-handedly told a story like that, it made Dean interested to meet more angels and it also made him feel depressed for Cas, because that wasn't his life anymore.

Cas seemed to know it too, because after he told the story about his sister, he was quiet for a long time, and started slugging back the wine at record pace. Dean watched as a drug dealer was shot multiple times in the chest and still managed to move, thinking about all of the times he and Sam had been shot. He remembered shooting Cas the first time he met him, when had seemed so distant and so powerful. Dean couldn't believe that the confused and wistful man next to him was the same person who had appeared to him that day in the barn, telling Dean he'd brought him back from Hell and flashing his wings like Dean was supposed to be impressed. He couldn't believe Cas was human and that he was sitting next to him watching Scarface while chugging $7 red wine.

Cas finished the bottle about 10 minutes before the end of Scarface. Dean glanced at him. In the darkness of the room and the glow of the television, he could tell Cas was at least buzzed. Cas had been right, his constitution had changed. He now got drunk off 1 bottle of wine, instead of several thousand. Cas was definitely human.

"This is the best part." Cas drawled, slumping back on the couch. "Everyone gets shot. It's epic."

"Did you just say epic?" Dean asked, snorting, trying to prevent the huge grin that was spreading across his face. This version of Cas, well, he talked like he was a frat boy.

"Fourth time." He said suddenly.

"Fourth time for what?" Dean asked, very confused.

"That's the fourth time you've smiled in the last two days. Before the last two days, you hadn't smiled since a week before we took on Lucifer." Cas muttered, utterly transfixed by the dead drug dealers and the mountain of cocaine on the screen.

"You've been… keeping track of that?" Dean asked, equal parts charmed and creeped out.

"Yes, well, you smile so rarely these days, that I always notice when there is even a hint of it on your face. You always seem to be laughing at me though. You smiled when I said you smelled like a rotting corpse, then laughed at my misfortune when I thought I was losing my vessel, you smiled in your sleep this morning and obviously you just found something I said amusing." Cas said.

"Damn Cas, I don't know if I should be flattered or bothered by that. Keeping track of how happy I am, what are you, a shrink?" Dean joked.

"Why do you respond to everything I say with sarcasm? Especially when I'm simply trying to be nice?" Cas asked him suddenly, turning to Dean.

Dean didn't know what to say, because he wasn't aware that he did that. That was something that Sam had always said he did. He called it "Dean's Sarcastic, Defensive, Macho Front." A few women Dean had dated had pointed it out as well. What was Cas, his brother? Was he a woman he was dating? After the last few days, Dean was disturbed at how blurry that line was becoming, though he'd never admit this to Cas. He had felt more comfortable and sure of his relationship with Castiel when he had been an evasive, asshole angel.

Dean just shook his head and shrugged. Cas stood up and stretched, revealing an expanse of pale skin that Dean really wish he hadn't noticed. He threw the empty wine bottle into the trash can that was across the room. The bottle landed square in it. Apparently Cas still had some of his angelic reflexes.

"Maybe you should play basketball. That was a nice toss, Cas." Dean said, trying to get back on his good side.

"I am not tall enough to play basketball. It appears all of those men are at least your brother's height." Cas muttered, standing in front of him.

Dean winced. Sam's gargantuan height had always been a good natured joke among him and other hunters. Cas noticed and sat back down.

"I'm sorry." He said. "I didn't mean to bring up Sam."

"It's fine, Cas, I just miss him. I miss the way he was always so much smarter than me, I miss his stupid girl hair, and I miss how dopily tall he was. I miss him so much." Dean muttered, staring at the television.

Cas sighed, and seeming like he didn't know what else to do, reached over and pulled Dean into another hug. Dean breathed him in. For a guy he hadn't seen shower yet, he smelled really good, clearly another one of his angelic traits that he still retained. God, it felt so good to be close to someone. Why was he just noticing how damn good the dude smelled? It was like a mixture of fresh laundry and raspberries, which had been the flavor of wine he had been drinking.

"Cas…" Dean muttered, feeling like he had been the one drinking all of the sudden. "Cas, man."

Their faces were dangerously close. Like too close for comfort.

Dean thought about how Cas had used the last of his angel mojo to heal him, how Cas was so determined to save his brother, how he had not judged him for wanting to die, and how the guy used words like "epic" and drank red wine and wore a suit to bed and knew how often he smiled, and suddenly he didn't even give a shit anymore. He didn't care about rules about sexuality or family anymore. This was Castiel, his guardian angel, his rebel angel, his new partner in crime, and his friend. He was the guy whose mouth was literally centimeters from his and he was the guy who Dean wanted to kiss so badly that he was shaking.

So he did.

Dean leaned in and captured that mouth, those full lips, in his. Cas groaned a little and pulled him in closer, his mouth devouring his, tangling his fingers in Dean's hair, drinking him in with such urgency that Dean felt like he might be swallowed up into this half-man, half-angel's embrace. Dean returned the urgency, pushing him back against the couch, sliding his tongue into his mouth, grasping the collar of Cas's ubiquitous dress shirt. Unable to stop, he pushed Cas back completely and straddled him to get better access to that full, delicious mouth. He got hard instantly, the feeling of the smaller man beneath him too much to bear. He ground his hips into Cas's and he heard Cas gasp, which only made him want to devour the angel even more. They made out for a few minutes like that, going at it like two teenagers. When it became too much for Dean to handle, he moved his fingers down to the dress shirt and started to unbutton it. Then he felt Cas's fingers on his, pushing them away from his shirt. He pulled his mouth from Dean's, effectively ending the best make out session Dean had experienced in years.

"Dean, stop. Stop. This is too fast." He whispered.

Dean stopped and sighed. "Okay, God, man. I am sorry. I just… I was hot."

"I know." Cas mumbled.

Dean rolled off his Cas so he was sitting next to him again. "So… are we going to have to talk about it?" He muttered, feeling his face grow hot, feeling his boner slowly deflate at the prospect of that conversation.

"No Dean, we do not need to talk about it. It was… well, it was delightful. I had no idea that twining with another human like that could be so enjoyable." Cas admitted. "I just… fell though. I just got back here and I have never, I repeat never had that happen. It was going a little too quickly for me."

"So, what now?" Dean asked.

"I am rather sleepy, to be honest, which depresses me. I think the wine had that effect. I am feeling slightly off-kilter." Cas said.

"So you're drunk?" Dean asked, smirking a little bit.

"Just a little. Nothing like you were last night, but I feel warm and content and I just want to go to bed." Cas admitted.

"I kind of feel like that too… except I'm not drunk. So, which bed do you want? One looks slightly harder than the other, so have your pick." Dean asked.

"I feel like we're past that." Cas said simply, standing up.

Dean smiled a little more. A few minutes later, they were crawling into the slightly softer bed, which still felt like a bed of nails. Dean noticed he was fully dressed, from his trench coat down to his shoes.

"Cas, at least take off the damn trench coat, suit, and the shoes. That can't possibly be comfortable. In fact, why don't you borrow something of mine?" He reached over into his suitcase and handed him a t-shirt advertising Stanford University that had once belonged to Sam. He couldn't believe he'd let Cas wear it, but somehow it seemed okay.

"I don't know why you're so insistent to enforce ridiculous norms about sleeping attire. You forget that I just recently started sleeping, so the concept seems absurd to me." Cas said, while taking off the trench coat and suit. He pulled the Stanford shirt over his frame and Sam had been so much taller than Cas that it swallowed him up.

Dean chuckled and rolled over on his side and pulled the covers up to his chin. He felt Cas snuggle up next to him, draping one arm over Dean's side. Dean sighed and it was actually with content. Somehow, this felt right, somehow it felt okay.