Two months after Sam had been dragged to Hell and Bobby's body disappeared, Cas and Dean finally found some of the answers they had been searching for, and it came when they least expected it. They came when they weren't looking.
They were seated at the dining room table, eating dinner. Cas had discovered that he loved cooking after he watched an all-night Paula Deen marathon and had just prepared his first "real" dinner, which consisted of corn on the cob, turkey burgers, and cherry pie. Dean was a little wary to let Cas take over the kitchen, but he had insisted. Dean was glad he'd let him, because Cas was a damn fine cook.
"Cas, this pie looks and smells amazing. But be warned: you have a lot of pies to compete against, since I've eaten pies in every state in this great nation." Dean said, grinning at him.
"I used real cherries. Not that stuff that comes from a can. You can't beat fresh fruit." Cas said.
Suddenly there was a crash of thunder and a squealing, high pitched ring filled the room. Dean yelled and jumped under the table, holding his hands over his ears. Cas joined him under the table, his face contorted in pain as the ringing pierced their ears. Then as quickly as it started, it stopped.
"Well, look at this domestic scene you two have going on here. Quite nice, very Martha Stewart meets the trailer park." An unfamiliar voice said.
Dean crawled from underneath the table and stood up. A reedy blonde man wearing a suit and a smirk on his face was standing in their kitchen. Dean immediately knew what he was, but he didn't know who he was.
"Who the hell are you?" He snapped.
"Balthazar." Cas said, in a stunned voice.
Dean turned to face Cas, whose face was frozen in a look of shock and fear.
"Castiel! Good to see you again, brother!" Balthazar said merrily, walking forward and pulling Cas into a mighty bear hug.
"Hey! Hey! Hey! Does someone want to explain this to me? What the hell are you doing here in our house? More importantly, where the hell were you Cas was praying for and summoning you for all those weeks? He prayed himself into the damn ground!" Dean yelled.
"Dean." Cas hissed. "Do yourself a favor and SHUT UP now."
"No, your boy toy has a point, dear 'Cas.' I will explain all, but first, let me get a look at you! It's been over 50 years!" Balthazar said cheerfully.
Cas stood there, looking embarrassed and uncomfortable, like he had just been caught sneaking a peek in the girls locker room or cheating on a math test.
"I must say, Castiel, humanity suits you well! Look at you! Cooking! Wearing Levis! Living the big gay American dream with your former charge! Also, that vessel also becomes you. I love what you've done with its hair." Baltazhar said, poking Cas on the head.
Dean felt his face heat up when Balthazar said the word "gay." He almost denied it, but angels are all-seeing, all-knowing, and also, the two of them were pretty damn obvious.
"Winchester, there's no need to deny it! There is nothing be ashamed of—you've nabbed yourself a fine, handsome ex-angel!" Balthazar said. "Now, enough small talk! I will explain my presence here. While we're at it though, let's just get this out of the way: if you try to kill me, bomb me with holy fire or send me away with those silly sigils you boys love so much, I will come back and rip your hearts out."
He was still grinning and jolly when he said that. Dean shuddered.
They went into the living room to talk. Dean almost offered Balthazar a beer, but decided against it. He and Cas sat down on the couch and Balthazar took Bobby's old love seat. Dean felt how stiff Cas was sitting next to him. He was suddenly worried about Cas's well being. He had been doing so well recently. He even had a job interview in town the next week. Things were just beginning to get so good, with Cas adjusting to human life and Dean thinking about hunting again, and then this asshole appears in their kitchen, interrupting their dinner and possibly sending Cas into the mental ward. Dean instinctively reached over and took Cas's hand to reassure him, but he snatched it away.
"As you boys know, you threw quite a wrench into Heaven and Hell's plans when you sent Lucifer and Michael's vessels tumbling into the cage." Balthazar said. "Tch, tch, bad Winchesters!"
"Their names were Sam and Adam, you ass!" Dean yelled.
Balthazar waved him off as if he were an annoying fly. "But you see, not everyone was too upset about it. In fact, some of us were overjoyed by your innovative idea to say bugger off to Michael and Lucifer. Some of us like this world the way it is. The world like this, well, it keeps things interesting and it prevents both sides from getting too big for its britches and controlling everything. I mean, can you imagine? A world run by angels. Buh-oring!" He crowed.
"What is your point?" Dean said angrily.
Cas shot him a warning glance. Apparently Cas was scared of this Balthazar guy. Or he was just scared of all angels now.
"My point being, is that there is a new sheriff in town upstairs. It took some fighting, okay, a lot of fighting, a lot of lives lost, and even more blood, but our side—the side that was rooting for you, Castiel—won. It was a short fight, but God, was it bloody! And the demons? Well, with our new chief and our eyes on this planet, let's just say they're hardly coming up here for air anymore." Balthazar said.
"Who's in charge in Heaven?" Cas asked eagerly. "Please Balthazar, tell me it's not…"
"It's not me, you bitch. I may not be a follower, but I'm also not interested in leading. Gabriel is our new leader. Let me tell you, it's fabulous having a guy who posed as a Pagan god for 1,000 years in charge. It's Team Free Will, each day, every day. To a certain extent, of course." Balthazar said.
"But Gabriel died." Dean said, "I saw Lucifer stick him with an angel blade and there was light, so much fucking light and then he gave me this creepy porn where he told me about Lucifer's cage and the horseman."
Balthazar stared at him for a minute, looking bewildered and slightly disgusted.
"Castiel, this guy? Really?" Balthazar said, shaking his head. "Anyway! You underestimated Gabriel. He knew he could not defeat Lucifer in a real fight. His brother was much stronger, especially on this plane. What you saw was what he does best, a trick! After that, he came to Heaven, came back after 1,000 years to right his wrongs. It took some coaxing, but he rallied those of us who were rooting for you, Castiel, and it there was a large contingent of us, believe me."
"Is Gabriel the new God?" Dean asked. "Is the one who brought Cas back?"
"Gabriel is not God. He knows this, which is one reason he is a good leader. Unfortunately, no, it was not Gabriel who resurrected Castiel. That honor goes to Raphael." Balthazar said.
"Why would Raphael bring me back? He hated me. He wanted me dead more than any of you." Cas cried. "Brother, that makes no sense!"
"That's where you're wrong, 'Cas', good old Raffie didn't want you dead. He wanted you to suffer. This was the worst punishment he could think of; trapping an all-powerful being in a human shell, a prison made of flesh. He wanted you to be helpless, to realize what you had lost when you rebelled." Balthazar said.
Cas sat there. He was once again stunned. His eyes were wide and his mouth was hanging open dumbly. Dean could tell now that he had gotten his answers, they weren't what he expected, and not what he had wanted.
"Please tell me Raphael is dead." Dean said stonily. If he wasn't, Dean would make it his life's mission to hunt the bastard down for what he had done to Cas.
"As a doornail!" Balthazar said gleefully. "It was the funniest thing. We were actually losing the battle, 50 angels dead in one fight when finally, finally Gabriel was able get the jump on him by faking his own death yet again. Tell me, when will people stop falling for that old card? Anyway, he killed the bastard with his own blade. Oh God, Castiel it was the most beautiful thing! The look on that smug prick's face when the light left his body, it was priceless!"
"Raphael is dead." Castiel said numbly.
"Yes, and when Raffie went down, his forces just kind of… well, they gave up! Angels need a leader and now that leader is Gabriel." Balthazar said.
"How many of our brothers and sisters were lost during the fight?" Castiel whispered.
Suddenly Balthazar's face got serious.
"Hundreds upon hundreds. I hate to tell you that. The battle… it was never-ending. It was a civil war in Heaven. You see now why we never came when you prayed. Some of us wanted to, especially Mariel, and of course, me, but we could not. If we left, we might not be able to get back. And we couldn't stop fighting." Balthazar said gravely, finally being serious.
Cas sniffed and ran a hand through his hair anxiously. The look on his face was a cross between devastation and surprise. This time he reached for Dean's hand.
"Can I be restored?" Cas asked, looking away from Dean.
Dean gasped when he said that. It had never crossed his mind that Cas could be returned to his original self. He had never even considered the possibility that something like that could even be done. Dean knew that being on earth and living as a human was incredibly difficult for Cas, but he thought Cas was adjusting to it and learning to like his human life. The life he had with Dean.
Balthazar raised his eyebrows and looked directly at Dean, then at Castiel. He could tell that the angel was bracing them both for the answer he was about to give.
"Castiel, for years you were a patient servant of Heaven, and for years, we fought side by side. You are closer to my family than any other angel in Heaven. You were a great angel, and I can tell by how this human looks at you, that you are a great man. That is why it pains me to tell you this… but no, unfortunately, you are destined to live out your human life, and then die a human death." He said slowly.
Castiel let out an anguished cry. Dean looked down at his feet, feeling like a knife was being twisted into his gut. He hated himself for it, but he was actually glad Cas couldn't be restored to his angelic self, because if he was, Dean knew he would lose him. He could tell Balthazar could tell that Dean was thinking this, because he gave him a very dark look. At the same time, he also felt horrible that Cas wouldn't be able to return to Heaven until he died, because as Cas had said, it was his home. Dean felt the strangest mixture of relief, guilt, happiness, and anger. It was making him feel sick.
"Why not?" Dean asked slowly. "If Raphael has that kind of mojo, can't Gabriel just do the reverse of it?"
"I'm very sorry, but no. Raphael used very powerful magic to destroy Castiel's grace. Once it was gone, well, it was just that: gone. Destroyed. Lost forever. An angel is like any other creature, we can be killed reduced, but a human cannot become an angel. It just doesn't work that way. And that's what you are now… you are human. If we found a way, it would certainly kill Castiel, and it would be a painful, horrible death." Balthazar said soberly.
"Anna did it." Castiel said desperately.
"Anna didn't destroy her grace, Castiel. She simply… well, not simply, but she removed it. It was still out there. Yours is… gone and it cannot be restored, thus, neither can you." He said.
"So that's it, then." Cas mumbled. "Excuse me a minute, I need a moment alone." He stood up, pulling his hand away from Dean's and walked out of the room in a daze.
Dean stood up to go after him, but then Balthazar was in front of him, holding him down. "Let him be, Winchester." He hissed. "I know this tickles your fancy, but what Castiel is facing is unimaginable and he needs to deal with it by himself for a spell."
"You don't know what this has been like for him." Dean said. "Yeah, I'm happy that I am not gonna lose Cas, but you haven't been there every day like I have, seeing how much falling from grace, slowly becoming human is killing him."
"It's not killing him, Dean. Don't you see that? I never thought that it would turn out this way, but Castiel, well, he's handling it better than Raphael or any of us ever thought possible, which proves we are not all-knowing. He's adjusting, and honestly, I'm amazed he's not dead." Balthazar said.
"He's miserable." Dean said. "Are you blind, or just stupid? You didn't see that reaction just now?"
"No, he is not miserable. What he's going through is torture, but he is making it. He's making it because of you. For some reason, he sees something in you that makes this life forced upon him worth living." Balthazar said.
Dean thought about that for a moment. When the battle with Lucifer was done, Dean had wanted nothing more than to die. He had wanted it over so badly that he could taste the metal of the gun in his mouth every morning he awoke. But Cas had been there for him, held him together when nothing else could, and now he was sleeping soundly every night, waking up in the morning with some hope in his heart. He was here because of Cas, and it was so obvious to him. Was there a chance that he was the reason that Cas was still here too?
"Yes, there is a chance of that. It's more than a chance, you moron!" Balthazar said, literally slapping him upside the head.
"Ow!" Dean yelled. "You bastard! Angel strength! Don't forget that! Man, why are you guys always giving me so much crap?"
"Because you're just so cute, Winchester. We can't help but give you trouble." Balthazar said cheekily. "Well, I'm off. There's a brunette in Brazil I want to visit before I leave this realm."
"Wait!" Dean yelled, "One more thing."
Balthazar groaned and sat back down. "Let me guess: Sammy?"
"Yes, Sammy. I want to know what to do about Sammy and Adam. And I want to know what took Bobby's body. Cas said he felt something in the graveyard the night he came back." Dean said.
"You want Bobby's body? After all of this time? You know it won't be… preserved." Balthazar said, wrinkling his nose, evading the question about Sam.
"What the hell happened to him?" Dean asked desperately. "And Sammy, I need Sammy to come home."
"Bobby is in Heaven, Dean. He is not a ghost, he is not in Hell. He is with his wife, Ellen and Jo and he is happy. That's all you need to know. I check up on him sometimes because he was of such interest to you boys and dear Castiel." Balthazar said. "His body is gone."
"What took it?" Dean pressed. "Tell me now. Did Raphael take it?"
"Raphael did not take it. It was demons, and that's all I'll say. They were destroyed for what they planned to do with you and with him. Bobby was given a Hunter's funeral by one of my brothers." Balthazar said. "And I am not bringing him back. He died a warrior's death and an eternally happy life in Heaven with his loved ones is his reward."
Dean felt tears spring to his eyes. He didn't want to imagine what the demons had done with Bobby's corpse, nor did he want to imagine what they had planned to do to him. It had to be horrible.
"Sammy. Now we are going to talk about Sammy." Dean said gruffly.
"Getting Sam out of Lucifer's cage is a very difficult task, you must understand. It takes… great strength, strength one angel alone does not possess. Many of my brothers and sisters do not want him out. After all, it was Sam who released Lucifer in the first place." Balthazar said.
"Cas pulled me out. It was Cas and no one else." Dean cried. "And you've got archangels on your side now! Sammy and Adam have been down there for decades!"
"Sam is much deeper than you were, Dean. By pulling him out, we risk pulling Lucifer and Michael out too and that's a grave risk that we are not sure is worth facing. And with the war just ending… we are not sure we are up to the task." Balthazar said.
"You're freaking angels, man! There has to be a way! Find a fucking way! I cannot just leave Sammy down there!" Dean yelled. He was starting to get angry. He had forgotten how much he hated angels.
"You will pull Sam out." A gravelly voice said. Cas was back. "Sam is the reason that Gabriel came back. Sam is the reason you are sitting here, free to go visit that model in Brazil whenever you please."
Cas sat down on the couch. He had a blank expression on his face, but he was still alive and he was on Dean's side, which counted for everything.
"You don't understand, both of you, that I am not the bad guy here. If I could, I would bring Sam back. But I cannot do it alone and I do not have many others on my side." Balthazar said. He was beginning to look angry too, and he was not a guy Dean wanted on his bad side.
"You will find a way." Cas said in a steely way. "Even if it kills a few of you, you will find a way. You will do it because it is the right thing to do and because… you owe me, brother, and you owe the Winchesters."
Balthazar sat there for a minute. It was funny to see such a powerful being with no snappy comeback or words. He seemed to understand Cas, far more than he understood Dean. Maybe Balthazar and Cas really were like were brothers.
Finally, he spoke. "I will try to gather angels to my side. After all, I did once before. I cannot make any promises. Until then, you might try to contact Hell's new leader. He has a history with you and he might be feeling generous."
"Who is the new king? Is it someone like Lucifer?" Cas asked, looking fearful.
"He is nothing like Lucifer. He has actually economized Hell, made it less of a torture chamber, more like an endless line at Wal-Mart. He does not let demons out unless they are retrieving something for him personally. He likes all the souls on his side and he keeps them on a tight leash in order to preserve his spot on top. I believe you know him as Crowley." Balthazar said.
As quickly as Balthazar appeared, he was gone.
He turned to Cas. "Well, it looks like we'll be giving our old pal Crowley a call." He muttered.
"Goddamnit." Cas grumbled.