Chapter 28! Already? Can it be? xD

Thank you for being so wonderful. Not to mention patient!

Disclaimer – so, totes not mine.

-o-

Chapter 28 - That's Very Cryptic, Love

Later that night, Hermione found herself on a roof, gazing at the stars. Solas was lying next to her, and they just stayed that way, in comfortable silence.

"Lethallan," Solas eventually said, "I realise something."

She kept her eyes on the stars as she replied. "Hmm?"

"I have not told you," he said, hesitating, "at first, because I was afraid of your answer, of the future, and of everything that fate may have in store for us, but then...because I...take it for granted, perhaps, that you know."

His words should have worried her, but there was this...softness in his voice that made her relax. "That's very cryptic, love," she said, still gazing at the stars, "so I won't know what I am supposed to know until you tell me."

He chuckled. "True." There was a long moment of silence before he continued. "I love you, my heart."

Hermione froze for a moment, because hearing Solas' silky, mesmerising voice utter those words… Well, who could blame her for needing a moment to process it?

"I apologise for not telling you so earlier, Lethallan," Solas said, and there was this…vulnerability in his voice that made Hermione snap out of her frozen state. "Was I wrong? Should I not have told you? Do you not-"

"Shh, love," Hermione said as she turned to her side, placing a finger to Solas' lips, "you're not wrong. You're not wrong at all, love. I love you too, Solas. And I have for a long time now."

Tension left Solas' eyes, and he smiled as he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer. Sighing happily, Hermione snuggled up to him before they turned their eyes to the stars again, this time in each other's arms.

-o-

The next day, Hermione walked across the courtyard, but didn't concentrate on where she was going. She was searching. Searching for a magical signature.

She was searching for Cole. Not because she needed to talk to him, but because this was a game they had started playing at some point after Cole had become more spirit-y. It was magical hide and seek, basically.

Their game was actually quite helpful, they had realised after some time. Hermione got to practice her senses, her ability to sense it earlier when someone of a magical nature approached her.

Cole got to practice how to hide his magical signature, or more specifically how to control it. Becoming more spirit – less human – had resulted in him not quite knowing his own magic, and he had these spikes – waves – of magic, and he didn't like it.

Skyhold was huge, though, and he could be anywhere. Especially because he didn't know they were playing. She was just searching for him because – well, because why not.

He's on the roof, Hermione thought as she finally located him. The tavern roof.

She stepped behind a wall, disillusioned herself, and apparated to the roof.

The roof was seemingly empty, but Hermione felt him there. She also knew he could sense her.

"Hello, sweetheart," she said softly. "How are you?"

She cancelled the spell just at the same time as he appeared out of thin air next to her.

"I like playing with you too," Cole said in that soft voice of his, apparently catching her thinking about how she enjoyed this, "but I didn't know – that we were playing – not this time."

Hermione smiled. "I know. It was just an impulse, in case you were nearby."

"I was."

She smiled again. "Indeed you were. Now, how are you, Cole?"

"I like roofs, roofs are comfortable, silent, peaceful, peace, other people don't come up, they can't Apparate, but I can – that tree is beautiful – how are you Cole? I really want to know."

He stopped, giving her a confused look. "You did that on purpose."

I did, Hermione thought. Do you listen in all the time now, Cole? Since you became more spirit?

"Yes. Yes, I listen."

"Do you choose to listen, or is it more an automatic thing now? A thing that just happen?"

"Just happens. Happens when I want to help, heal, hear. I listen, learn, I learn, so I can help."

"I like that you have become more spirit, Cole," Hermione said. "Because I like that you made that choice yourself, instead of letting others choose for you. I do, however, think that you should try to find a way to not listen, find a way to choose when you want to listen. Some people don't want you to listen – Iron Bull, for example – he likes you, he really does, but when you describe his nightmares out loud, he is afraid."

"But I want to help."

"You can help, Cole, whenever you want. You can choose to listen, instead of experiencing every thought of everyone around you." She paused. "Aren't you tired?"

"I'm a spirit."

"For the most part; yes. But a part of you is human, Cole, and that part…aren't you tired?"

"Sleep, darkness – soft – Solas – I need – need him, I will be alone. I don't want to – Cole, stop it. Choose to don't listen. Next you'll be describing very private moments, and that is – private." Cole stopped again. "You did it again. But…but I…"

Hermione nodded. "I know, Cole. But if you do that, I will have to occlude. And you don't like when I do that. I choose to let my mind be open for you, Cole. You know how much I dislike it when people are in my head, and yet, I choose to let you in. I lower all my shields when I am with you. That is my token of respect, and trust in you, Cole."

Cole gazed into empty air for a moment. "It's true – the shields, my shields – they are down, all, I never do that – scared, dangerous – token of trust – true, didn't know how true – spirit, Cole – he does help me – with trust – relax – he helps, I didn't realise – but he helps."

Hermione raised an eyebrow. "Indeed."

"I help you. But I can't help you. So much pain, balls of pain inside, but you won't let me help."

Hermione shook her head. "Those 'balls of pain' aren't exactly balls of pain, Cole. They are grief, painful memories, sorrow, and regret. They are a part of me, Cole. There was so much darkness in my youth, I lost so many friends in a dark war, and I want to keep my grief over them. My grief keeps their memories more vivid, and it lets me remember them with joy, but also with sorrow. Take away the sorrow, and you take away a part of them, somehow. I want to grieve over lost friends. My grief is not pain, Cole, it's just grief."

"The ball of pain is two halves – one joy, one sad – completing each other. They are not balls of pain to break, to release. They are not balls of wrong."

"Exactly, Cole. I don't need help with those. What I do need help with, however, what I am afraid of, is losing control of my mind. But I want to be able to not keep my thoughts shielded all the time. You help with that. But only if you are able to stop listening when there is something really private."

"I will learn."

"That's great, Cole."