Chapter 16
A/n Things are finally getting interesting. I hope I'm not being boring. May have another chapter up today. - Mallory
We have been working our tails off all week and its finally Monday. I have a dress rehearsal this morning and then the show tonight. Paula Abdul is a guest judge tonight so we could get possibly 40 points instead of 30. I walk in my trailer and Derek is already sitting in there. I see my costume hanging up. My mouth drops when I see it.
" Do you like it?"
" It doesn't have much to it. I love it but I don't think I'm going to be able to pull it off."
" Shawn there are only one or two people on the show including the pros that can pull this off. You're the main one that can. You have a smoking hot body with abs and muscles everywhere and anywhere you can have muscles. I have a few more costumes you can wear if you don't like this one. I think it will make the dance if you wear it. Just please try it on."
" Okay I guess I will."
I go in the bathroom and try it on. I actually love it but it's the thought of wearing it on live tv and in front of millions of people that scares me. I have not been that confident lately in myself so I just don't know about wearing it. I walk out of the bathroom. Derek turns around and looks at me and his mouth drops open.
" Is this a good mouth dropping moment or a you need to put your clothes back on?" I ask him
" Are you kidding me? Of course this is a great mouth dropping moment. You look incredible. Only one thing wrong."
" What?"
He walks over to me and pulls the bottom part of the outfit down a little bit.
" You're a woman now. I want people to see you as a woman not a 17 year old girl anymore."
" Okay"
We hear somebody bagging on the door.
" Shawn? Derek? Are you guys in there?" Mark hollers. He doesn't give us time to respond before he opens the door.
" Hot damn Shawn. You look amazing. You have a great body and you should show it off more." Mark says
" That's what I have been telling her all week. She is one of the most athletic and in shape person on the show."
" She is and she looks damn good. She shouldn't be ashamed to wear something like that. If you were my partner I would have you in something with less fabric than that." Mark says
" Okay guys just talk about me like I'm not standing here." I say waving my arms in the air.
" Sorry" they both say
" Okay I'm going to get changed." I say
" No, why don't you wear that all day?" Derek says laughing
" Yeah I agree." Mark responds
" Ya'll are hilarious." I say not smiling and giving them a dirty look.
I walk into the bathroom to change. I love how Derek compliments me and he doesn't sound so fake. He is getting me to do stuff I never thought I would. He amazes me all the time. I walk back out of the bathroom and Mark and Derek are talking.
" I was talking to one of the helpers on the show and they said ya'll are first to walk out. I didn't know if you knew and I was just going to inform you."
" Thank you that makes my nerves sky rocket even more." I say
" Okay well on that note I'm going to leave. You look smoking hot don't worry about it." Mark says as he comes over to me and gives me a hug and a kiss on the head.
Derek is sitting on the couch looking at me when Mark leaves.
" Babe what's wrong?" he asks taking my hand and pulling me into his lap.
" Nothing" I whisper
" Don't give me that. I've known you for 4 weeks and have spent basically every minute with you. I can tell when something is wrong with you."
" I'm just nervous about tonight."
" Shawn, you look great. I wouldn't be praising you for this long if you didn't look amazing."
" No matter how many times you tell me I look good it still doesn't change anything. I am going to dance on live tv in front of millions while wearing an itty bitty costume and doing flips all over the place."
" I have faith in you that you will do great. Would you feel better to dance in a different costume. I have another one you can wear."
" No I will wear this one. I just will have to woman up and get over it."
" That's what I like to hear. I would be a little disappointed if you didn't wear this one. You look so good in it."
" Thank you" I say blushing
The time has finally come for the show to start. We are the first one to walk out and I am a nervous wreck. I think Derek can tell too because he keeps holding my hand a rubbing his thumb back and forth over it. I think he is nervous but even if he was he wouldn't tell me. He wouldn't want to freak me out. We hear our names being called out and Derek gives my hand a reassuring squeeze before we walk down the steps. I hear people hollering my name and I see my family's expression in the crowd but I'm just trying to block everything out except for Derek. We finally reach our spot on the floor.
" Are you okay?" he asks me whispering in my ear.
" I feel like I'm going to vomit."
" You look amazing. Do you want to hear something to cheer you up?"
" Thank you and sure."
" I would totally do you. That's what Mark and I were talking about while you were changing. I already knew we had to walk out first I just texted Mark and told him he had to come see you in your itty bitty outfit."
I turn around and look at him. He is grinning from ear to ear about to bust out laughing. I'm not really sure if he is kidding or not. I hope he's kidding and then there is a part of me that hopes he's not.
" Are you being serious or did you just make that up to embarrass me?"
" I wouldn't have ever thought to make that up. I mean it 150 percent."
I see that we have gone to commercial. I turn around and smack him in the arm.
" I can not believe you just said that to me."
" Well believe it and its true." He falls on his knees laughing at me and Mark walks over to us.
" Are you okay?" he asks Derek
" Yeah I just told Shawn what we were talking about earlier while she was changing clothes."
Mark starts laughing " I cant believe you actually told her."
" I wasn't going to and then she was in the dumps about her outfit so I needed to make her smile."
" Well that didn't work. I just turned the shade of a tomato. No smile here." I say while smacking Mark in the arm.
" Why did you hit me?"
" Oh she hit me too man. I think she might be upset."
" Guys will be guys. You cant blame a man for thinking that. I'm sure every guy in America is thinking the same thing right now." Mark says
" Well then they can just keep thinking that. I say
Derek pulls me into a hug. " I'm sorry if we made you upset. I love you." he says
" Love you too" I say
To break the awkwardness Mark says " Family group hug." And he joins our hug
We have 5 minutes before its our turn to dance.
" Can we practice one more time?"
" No you have done it great with no mistakes. If we do it to much you might start freaking out and forget it."
" Fine."
Its our time to dance. Before we walk out there they show our footage of the past week. While they are showing that I walk to my starting position behind the curtain. I start practicing the moves while I'm waiting to start Derek comes up behind me. He grabs me gently and turns me around towards him. I'm in higher heels than normal and he is leaning down a little bit so his forehead is leaning down on mine.
" Shawn I don't think I've told you lately how proud of you I am. You are one of the best partners I've ever had. Each week you inspire me and push me to give you the best choreograph I can give you. You are wearing this costume for me and you feel so uncomfortable in it but your putting that aside for me and the fans. I just wanted to say thank you for what you have done for me so far and some of it you may not even realize you have done."
" Derek you are my best friend. We have came so close just in the short time we have really known each other. I trust you more than I trust anyone. You haven't let me down or lied to me and I don't think you will. I could go on for hours but its about time to dance." I say smiling
He leans down and his lips meet mine. They are soft and the kiss is sweet. I hesitate a second and then kiss him back. He pulls away from me.
" I'm sorry. I have been wanting to do that for a while." Derek says
" Its perfectly fine. I've wanted the same thing." I say while reaching up and kissing him again. Its just a short peck because we hear the camera man saying 5,4,3,2,1 and then Derek is gone.
After we finish the dance Derek picks me up and swings me around in his arms.
" You did great! I couldn't have asked you to do any better! And you looked incredible!"
" Thank you. I just blocked everything thing out but you and acted like we were in practice."
" Well it worked regardless of the judges score you did amazing." he squeezes me one more time and then sets me down to get our scores.
We get a 10 from Carrie Ann, 9.5 from Len, 10 from Paula and a 10 from Bruno. I couldn't be happier with the scores. We walk backstage to get our makeup retouched up. One woman comes up to me and looks at my shoe.
" Did you know you danced with a broken shoe?"
" No I didn't."
" I noticed while you were talking to Brooke you shoe heel is broke."
" Are you serious? I had no idea."
" No idea about what?" Derek comes up behind her and asks
" I danced with a broken heel on my shoe."
" That is amazing. I'm surprised you didn't fall with all those flips and tricks. You must've broken it while we were practicing."
" Must've. Thank you for telling me." I say to the woman.
" So I want to talk but we don't have time."
" Do you want to come over to my place after the show?"
" Sure"
I see Mark walking up behind Derek and try and change the subject.
" So how long do we have to do press tonight?"
" The usual I guess."
Mark comes up to me and gives me a hug.
" Babe you did amazing tonight. Derek wouldn't tell me anything about yall's dance but you did great. You looked like a professional out there."
" Thank you. We have definitely worked out buts off this week. We had to try and top last weeks dance."
" I think we topped it." Derek says
" Yeah I do too." Mark adds
" I hope so."
We have finished the press line and I'm on my way home. All I can think about is Derek and our kiss. I wanted it to happen but if we don't work out how could we possibly dance with each other every week and see each other every day. We just need to take it one day at a time. I'm trying to come up with some things that we need to talk about but my brain is scattered all over the place. I get to my apartment and rush in trying to pick up the mess before Derek gets here. I get it looking halfway decent and sit down on the couch. I get my phone out of my purse to check my messages. I have tons of tweets and Instagram notifications. I check my text messages and I have a few from my mom and one from Ryan. I really need to go change my number. I keep forgetting to do it. The one from my mom says " Shawn you looked beautiful tonight. Your dad was a little worried about your costume but I reassured him. I told him you were a woman now being 20 you could wear woman things. We love you and good luck at elimination tomorrow night."
I read the text from Ryan. " You looked amazing tonight. I don't think you saw me but I was in the audience. We need to meet up sometime and talk. I miss you."
I just wish I could delete him from my life. I don't know what to do. Derek and I need to talk first. I hear a knock on the door. I walk over and open it.
" Hey" he says reaching down and giving me a hug.
" Hey long time no see. Come on in." We walk over and sit down on the couch.
" Did you get your shoe fixed?" Derek asks
" Yeah they just threw it away and said they would get me another one."
" Okay that's not what I came here to talk about but I don't really do this a lot so I'm at a loss for words."
" It's okay because I'm scared too and probably more nervous than I was earlier."
" Yeah me too. I'm not going to sit here and say I think kissing you was a mistake and your just too young for me and I look at you as a sister. I did at first because you are so young but your very mature for your age. Do you think its was a mistake?"
" No I just don't want us to get involved and then everything get messed up and us not be able to dance with each other. I actually enjoyed the kiss."
" I did too. I don't think I can wait till the season is over. Seeing you everyday will just drive me crazy."
" Yeah I don't think I could either. I'm just saying lets take it slow."
" Okay" Derek says scooting closer to me on the couch. He reaches his hand up and caresses my cheek. His head leans forward and I lean mine to meet his. Our lips are about to touch when I hear a nock on the door. " You have go to be kidding me." Derek says
" I know of all the time to come." I say getting up and going to the door.
" Who is it?" I ask
" Mark and Sabrina" someone says and I look back at Derek and then open the door.
" Hey guys. Come on in."
" I seen Derek's car in your parking deck is he here?" Mark asks
" Yeah right there on the couch." I say pointing to Derek and Mark walks over there.
" Hey girl. I didn't know ya'll were coming."
" Yeah it was last minute thing. Mark even brought alcohol. I told him you didn't drink but he brought it anyway."
" Its fine."
Sabrina and I walk into the living room and I sit down beside Derek on the couch but not as closely as we were a minute ago.
" So since you brought drinks there are some cups in the cabinet." I say
" Okay." Mark says
" I'll come help you look." Sabrina says
" They have the perfect timing." Derek says sarcastically
" Yeah and their drinking so who knows when they will leave."
Derek scoots closer to me and put his hand on my thigh. I put my hand on top of his and start rubbing my thumb back and forth.
" If you keep doing that I will personally kick them out." Derek whispers in my ear making my body shiver.
" I would be okay with that."
We hear Mark and Sabrina walking back. I pull my hand off of Derek's but he keeps his hand on my thigh. Mark comes walking back in first and his eyes automatically go to Derek's hand. He opens his mouth to say something then closes it.
" Here you go." Sabrina says handing Derek a cup.
" Here's yours Shawn." Mark says
" I don't drink."
" One glass is not going to kill you."
" But I don't want it."
" Just drink it. You will lighten up a little bit."
" Leave her alone if she don't want to drink it she doesn't have too." Derek says firmly
" Its fine, give me the damn cup." I take the cup from Mark and take a drink.
" See its not that bad." Mark says
We sit in a awkward silence for what feels like eternity. My phone dings and I pick it up off the table. I look at the caller id and its Ryan. He says " Babe did you get my message. Please talk to me."
I don't reply and set it back down on the table. While we are talking it dings three or four more times.
" Dang Shawn you are important tonight." Mark says
" Yeah its just Ryan. He wont leave me alone." When I say that Derek takes his hand off my thigh and walks into the kitchen.
" I wonder what got him fired up." Sabrina says
" He don't really like Ryan." I say while walking into the kitchen.
" Are you okay?" I ask Derek
" Yeah are you?"
" I was and then you got mad. Remember Derek I've known you for 4 weeks I know when your mad."
" Ryan just really pisses me off."
" Yes he does me too. Well I'm not going to start hiding anything from you. He was at the show tonight and he said he misses me and wants to talk."
Derek tenses up and frowns "What did you say back?"
" I said that I'm talking to my extremely hot dance teacher and that he has all my attention right now." I say grinning and walking over to Derek. He is standing with his arms crossed across his chest. I take his arms and wrap them around my waist. I look up into his eyes.
" Extremely hot?" Derek asks laughing
" Yes. I say grinning. But no I didn't text him back I just wanted to see you laugh. I'm not going to text him back I don't want to talk to him right now."
" I could text him back if you wanted me too."
" Then he would know that we are whatever we are."
" True"
" So are we good? Are you happy again?"
" Only one thing wrong."
" What is it?"
He turns me around to where my back is against the counter and then puts me up on top of the counter. I'm careful not to laugh to loud with Mark and Sabrina in the room beside us.
" Now this is better." he says while leaning his lips down on mine.
" Way better." I say while wrapping my arms around the back of his neck and he wraps his arms around my waist.