Harry Potter Halloween Collection Prompt: (location) Cemetery/Graveyard (non-specific)

Recovery Challenge: (dialogue) "I love you."; (dialogue) "You don't have to do this by yourself."; (word) tears; (word) kiss

Word Count: 678

One Year

Halloween used to be a fun time of year for all of them. Sirius has many good memories of Halloweens spent at Hogwarts, the Halloween feasts he shared with his friends. Even after they finished their schooling, they still gathered together on Halloween, enjoying good food and plenty of laughs as always. The fact that Halloween was just three days before his birthday meant that sometimes his birthday was celebrated at the same time, which just makes things even more difficult now.

It is Halloween, one year to the day since James and Lily were murdered. Sirius still blames himself, even though everyone tells him that it's not his fault, he couldn't have known what Peter was. Sirius doesn't care. He still holds himself responsible. He should have known, that's all there is to it.

Sirius kneels down at the grave of his two friends and brushes away the dead leaves that have gathered there. He hears footsteps behind him and knows it's Marlene without having to turn around. He's always somehow been able to sense her presence. There's just something about her that he can tune into the moment she walks into a room. "How did you know I was here?"

Marlene kneels down beside him, her hand covering his own, stopping him from clearing the grave any further. "I know what day it is," she replies simply. "When I saw you weren't at home, I assumed you'd be here." She lays a small bouquet of red and yellow lilies at the base of the tombstone. "I wanted to visit them as well, which is why I came to see you. I was hoping you'd come with me."

Sirius isn't sure how to reply to this. He broke up with Marlene just a few weeks after James and Lily died and hasn't spoken to her since. There was just too much going on inside his head, too many demons for him to fight, that he didn't think he could be what she needed. He still loves her, always has, but he still doesn't feel like he's in a good place to rekindle what they had.

"Marlene, I'm sorry -" he begins awkwardly, but she cuts him off.

"You don't need to say anything, Sirius. We're here to visit them. I had no intention of talking to you about us. I know you'll come back to me when you're ready."
Sirius fights back tears. This is why he can't stop loving her, even in the middle of his internal struggle. She knows him better than anyone else.

Sirius listens as she talks to their fallen friends, telling them about everything that's happened in the last year, chatting with them as though they're standing right there. Sirius tries to talk to them, he really does, but he just breaks down, unable to speak a word. Marlene gathers him up into her arms, soothing him until his tears are spent.

"It's alright, Sirius, they can hear you even if you can't say the words." She pulls back from him and cups his face with her hands, brushing his tears away with her thumbs. "They don't blame you any more than anyone else does. I know you have to forgive yourself in your own time, but don't be afraid to talk to someone. We're all here for you. You don't have to do this by yourself."

Once again, Sirius doesn't know what to say, and so he just speaks from his heart. "I love you, Marlene. Thank you for understanding that I need my own space for a while."

Marlene leans in and presses a light kiss to his lips. "I love you too, Sirius. I'll never stop waiting for you. Don't forget that." She releases him and stands, holding out a hand to help him up. When he's on his feet again, Sirius pulls her close, enjoying the feel of her in his arms again. He's still not ready to change things between them, but it gives him hope to know that she hasn't given up on him yet.