Chapter 10
Sadie could literally feel the magic saturating the room as she followed Mr. Weasley into the dim, narrow shop. It caused tremors of fear to race through her, and she desperately wrapped Ginny's cloak tightly around herself to try and hide them.
Run! Run! her mind screamed at her. She fought it, but couldn't help dragging her feet, afraid to leave the safety of the doorway and fully enter the musty space. Terrified, she glanced around at the shelves filled with stacks and stacks of wooden boxes while Mr. Weasley approached the counter.
"Good afternoon, Arthur."
A little, old man with white hair and piercing eyes was suddenly there, facing them. Sadie jumped and backed up another few steps. "I could have sworn I was done with all of your brood. Let me see, we had William, Charles, Percival, those wild twins, young Ronald and plucky Ginevra, didn't we? So, you must be here for a replacement. Which one of them has broken a wand this time? Ronald again, is it?"
Mr. Weasley laughed slightly at the description of his children and accuracy of the guesses, but shook his head. "Actually, we're here to buy a first wand for this young lady. Mr. Ollivander, this is Sadie McLauchlin."
"Oh!" the man breathed quietly, coming out from behind the counter and leaning closer to gaze at her over the top of his spectacles. "Oh indeed! I had begun to believe I would never see you in this shop, my dear." His voice was soft and a little awed, mixed with great curiosity.
Sadie stared at him, unnerved that he seemed to know her!
"Well, come here, my dear girl," the old man said after a moment, gesturing her forward. "Let's get you measured up."
Sadie tried to obey, she really did, but her feet refused to move. It was the best she could do to simple not creep backwards into a corner and hide.
"Sadie is a bit…nervous," Mr. Weasley said to Mr. Ollivander softly, giving her a sad smile. "She…well…this might be slightly difficult."
Mr. Ollivander gazed at her for a few moments and then something seemed to change in his expression.
"Arthur," he said quietly, "would you mind stepping out for just a few minutes so Sadie and I could talk?"
Mr. Weasley seemed hesitant, but after a glance at both of them, reluctantly nodded and retreated out the shop door.
Sadie felt her panic explode as he left and she was alone with the old man. She gazed desperately at the door Mr. Weasley had just disappeared through, trying to quell the violent shaking that suddenly seemed to fill her.
"It scares you, doesn't it?"
The quiet words made her head snap back around to Mr. Ollivander.
"You can feel it, the magic in those boxes? All that contained power, just waiting to be set free. And it frightens you."
Eyes wide, Sadie stared at him. How could he know that?
"Each of these boxes does contain great power," he went on, unaware of her thoughts. "But I think what you are forgetting, young lady, is this – that power is useless without a person to wield it. A wand is just a tool, Sadie."
Mr. Ollivander reached into his robes and withdrew a handful of wands of various lengths and hews. Sadie breathed in sharply but didn't move, feeling as if her feet were suddenly rooted to the floor.
"I have been crafting wands for more than half a century," he said. "Giving them form and functionality, soul and power. I have perfected the art of combing just the right magical substance to best channel a wizard's power, though I still don't completely understand all the complexities of the art. And over the years I have paired hundreds of witches and wizards with their wands." As he spoke, the old wizard toyed with the wands he still held, moving them between his hands and twisting them slowly.
"Sadly, I am forced to report that not all of those I've sold wands to have chosen to use them for good. Great evil can be done with wands – horrible, hurtful things." His voice had gone softer – more kind – with that last sentence, and he gazed at her with eyes that were now full of sorrow. "I think you understand that intimately, do you not?"
Sadie cringed and hugged her arms tighter around herself, memories she didn't want tumbling back to the forefront of her mind – curses and spells, blazing flashes of light followed by agony and pain. A tear she couldn't hold back trickled down her cheek and she wiped it angrily away.
The wands in Mr. Ollivander's hands disappeared back into his robes and he stepped closer to her.
"The wand always choses the wizard, Sadie McLauchlin," he said firmly, "but remember it is the wizard who choses what to do with the wand. As I said, it is just a tool. It can be used for evil but it can just as easily be used to do good – to protect and defend."
Prodded by his words, Sadie forced herself to push past the heinous memories to more distant ones. She closed her eyes and saw her mother trimming the Christmas tree, lighting all the candles with a flick of her wand. She pictured her dad pulling out his wand to fix the leaky plumbing, laughing when his spell missed and water shot all over the kitchen. Then her older brothers were making it snow inside just to make her giggle, knowing full well they'd get in big trouble when their parents returned home.
The old man's voice broke into her thoughts again.
"Shall we get you measured up then, and find out which wand chooses you?"
Her fears weren't erased or completely gone, but sucking in a deep breath, Sadie nodded and stepped forward.
Before she had even finished, a tape measurer sprang out of Mr. Ollivander's pocket and started to calculate the distance between all sorts of different body parts. She glared at it when it flipped up to measure between her nose and left ear, but it paid her no mind. Neither did the old man now. He was off wandering through the shelves of his store, muttering as he pulled down boxes here and there, adding them to a growing stack in his arms.
As the feisty little tape measurer attacked the circumference of her head, a bell jingled in the background and she turned to see Mr. Weasley renter. Only this time he wasn't alone. Fred and George followed him in, laughing loudly.
"You okay, Sadie?" Mr. Weasley asked.
And suddenly, with the arrival of laughter and people she knew would never hurt her, Sadie found that she was. She nodded quickly, which caused the measuring tape to roll off in a huff.
"Now talk about a place that brings back memories!" exclaimed Fred, glancing around.
"Has it measured between your navel and left pinkie toe yet?" asked George with a grin, pointing to the busy little measuring tool.
Sadie blushed and ducked her head.
"Ah, here we go," said Mr. Ollivander, coming back to the front of the shop and depositing his stack on the counter. "Surely one of these will be the perfect fit. Ready to try?"
Sadie gulped and felt the tremors return, but nodded. Mr. Weasley gave her an encouraging smile while the twins plopped down into chairs, as if waiting for a good show.
Mr. Ollivander opened one of the wooden boxes and pulled out a wand.
"Chestnut wood and dragon heart-string, thirteen inches long, rigid," he said. It was a deep brown color and glimmered with newness in the flickering light of the shop. Turning it around, he extended the larger end towards her.
Staring at that offered wand, it was as if time stood frozen for a moment. The shop, the old man, Mr. Weasley and the twins, they all disappeared from her awareness as a flash of clarity went off in her head. All those years, living in darkness and fear, scrambling to stay alive and sane, learning to fear magic and power and the pain it caused… She'd been forced to test her own magic, learn terrible things, but never with a wand. No, the wands had always been pointed at her, not given to her.
Except suddenly, everything had changed. Mr. Ollivander was offering her so much more than just a wooden wand – he was actually extending freedom. Freedom from her past, freedom to eventually escape her fears, freedom to choose her own path and assure she would never have to go back there again. All she had to do was reach out and take it.
With a trembling hand she grabbed the wand before she could change her mind and waited for the earth to shake or swallow her up.
Absolutely nothing happened.
"Nope, not that one," Mr. Ollivander cried, sounding suddenly much more excited as he snatched the wand from her fingers. Another one was stuffed into her hand before she could blink.
"Willow and unicorn hair, eleven and a half inches, slightly flexible. Try that."
She gripped it out of reflex, staring at him with wide eyes. It was barely in her fingers for two seconds before he pulled it away as well and replaced it with a third one.
It went on for at least ten minutes. Sadie had no idea what exactly Mr. Ollivander was looking for, but the longer it took to find it the more delighted he seemed to become.
Finally, a wand was slipped into her hand and immediately this one felt different. It warmed to her touch instantly, and she could feel the magic pulsing inside of it, as if it was calling to her. She curled her fingers around it and closed her eyes, letting the feeling wash over her. The power was there, but it wasn't frightening.
"And it appears you have been chosen, Sadie. Alder and unicorn hair, eleven inches long, unyielding," Mr. Ollivander said, eyeing the wand proudly. "I don't sell many alder wands," he added thoughtfully, sweeping aside the unpicked wands and boxes. "It is a most peculiar wood, hard and unbending, but tends to seek out those who are its opposite. Once it chooses a match, a more loyal tool will rarely be found. Non-verbal spells are its specialty which –" he paused to give her a shrewd glance as if just noticing a detail for the first time "– will be most helpful, if I'm not mistaken." (see note)
Sadie grew uncomfortable as he stared at her again for longer than needed, and she felt he was somehow trying to ferret out her secrets. She sighed with relief when Mr. Weasley broke the tension by stepping up to the counter.
"Thank you, Mr. Ollivander. Professors Dumbledore and McGonagall have sent a note, asking that payment for the wand be extracted from the Hogwarts Scholarship fund…"
"Right, right," the old man said, breaking his gaze and getting back to business. He gestured for Sadie to return the wand, which he carefully boxed back up and then handed to her. "Best of luck, my dear. May it serve you well." She gripped it tightly and then turned and all but fled from the room.
The noisy street outside was actually a relief after the stuffy strangeness of the magic-infused shop. She breathed in a huge gulp of air gratefully.
"Well, let's see it then!" demanded a voice from her right. Sadie looked up to see the twins had followed her out while Mr. Weasley finished making arrangements with Mr. Ollivander.
Hesitantly, she opened the neat box and drew out her wand – her wand! It was unreal to think that!
"Very nice," said George appreciatively. "The old guy's still got it, hasn't he?"
"Do you like it?" added Fred, looking at her, his expression a little different from his brother's.
Sadie considered his words as she sized up the slight weight of her new wand in the palm of her hand. She studied it, taking in all the details she hadn't had time to notice before. The sense of fear and apprehension she had expected to come with the acceptance of a wand wasn't there. Just the opposite in fact – the little piece of wood felt right in her hand. It was as if something she hadn't even realized was missing had just been returned.
With a smile, she looked up at Fred and nodded.
AN:
- The qualities of Alder wood for wands were paraphrased from the description given by J.K. Rowling in her Pottermore discussion on wands.
- Special thanks to Pix, TidalDragon, and Smuffly for help with this chapter. I had hoped this would be the last chapter before the gang heads off to Hogwarts, but it was getting ridiculously long so I decided to break it into two. Next one is mostly done, however, so it should be up soon. Thanks for sticking with me. :)