Harry Potter Halloween Collection Prompt: (word) gruesome

Warning: Implied rape and mentions of torture

Shared Comfort

Marlene awoke from the nightmare, gasping for air and shaking. It was as if her body was physically reliving those horrific months spent in captivity. The gruesome things that had been done to her still haunted her even after fourteen years, especially now that she had been pulled back into her old life.

While the wizarding world had believed that she had been murdered with her family, Marlene had endured months of torture – and worse – at the hands of Antonin Dolohov, who had helped murder her parents and sisters. She could only assume he got some kind of sick pleasure from causing her pain and that was why he had left her barely alive in the initial attack. There had been many times during her captivity that she had wished for death. Death would have been better than having to endure one more minute of what he did to her every day.

Her escape had come at the downfall of Dolohov's master. The death of You-Know-Who had made Dolohov careless and distracted as he feared for his own life and freedom. He hadn't been as watchful of her as before, which had allowed her to finally break free. She'd started her life over as a Muggle, vowing to never set foot in the wizarding world again. Magic had ruined her life and she would never again be a part of such things.

Feeling restless, Marlene threw back the sheets and got out of bed. She started pacing the room, but this only made her feel trapped. Deciding that a cup of tea might do her good, she left the room quietly, being careful not to disturb the rest of the inhabitants of Grimmauld Place. She had just reached the top of the stairs when she heard a sound, like someone was talking. Pausing, she listened for it again. She couldn't make out what the person was saying, but they were clearly in some kind of distress.

Backtracking, Marlene walked down the hall, pausing two doors down from her own room. If she remembered correctly, this was Sirius's room. Not bothering to knock, she opened the door to find Sirius in bed, tangled and writhing in the sheets. He appeared to be asleep, but he was calling out for James and Lily, apologizing to them over and over again. Marlene watched, unsure what to do, as Sirius lay trapped in the grip of his nightmare.

Finally, her body moved of its own accord. She knelt at his bedside and took his hand. He held onto her tightly. Ignoring the pain his grip caused her, Marlene tried to comfort him. "Sirius, wake up," she said quietly, gently. "It's okay. Just wake up."

Sirius's eyes flew open and he stared up at the ceiling, confused. His breath came in sharp gasps and Marlene could feel the throbbing of his heart through the palm of his hand. He lay like this for several minutes, his breathing gradually returning to normal and his grip on her hand loosening. He turned his head to look at her. "Marlene." He still seemed a bit confused by his sudden return to reality. "What are you doing here?"

"I was on my way down to the kitchen for some tea when I heard you," she said, blushing and letting go of his hand. She suddenly felt embarrassed, as though she had intruded on something extremely private. "I thought maybe – maybe I could help."

"You did help," he said. "I heard your voice in my nightmare and it brought me back here. Thank you." He propped himself up on one elbow and readjusted the sheets so they weren't a tangled mess anymore. "Why were you going to make tea this late at night?"

"I – well, I had a nightmare, too." She knew she probably didn't need to say anymore than that. Sirius had been the one to find her again, just one month ago. He had been out rounding up the members of the Order, which had been reforming to combat the threat posed by You-Know-Who's return. They had met by chance, Sirius spotting her while in his Animagus form. She'd been surprised when he'd turned up on her doorstep. She had seen his picture all over the Muggle news and papers just two years prior, a painful reminder of everything that she had lost. She and Sirius had been close during their teenage years, even dating for a while once they'd graduated from Hogwarts. A long conversation had followed his appearance, as they both had rather involved stories to tell. It had taken a lot of convincing on Sirius's part, but Marlene had agreed to return and help fight, if only to get some kind of justice for her parents and sisters.

"Oh." He looked uncomfortable. "I'm sorry. Do you – does that happen often? Your nightmares, I mean."

Marlene shook her head. "At first, yes, but as time went on, they only came once or twice a year. Being back here, in this world – " Marlene bit her lip. "It's almost a nightly thing now. I've only been here for a couple of weeks, but it started my first night here."

"I'm sorry," he said. "I brought you back here. Maybe it would have been better to leave you be."

"No," Marlene said, shaking her head again. "I came here freely. I needed to stop hiding from it. Hiding wasn't going to do me any good. Anyway," she said, changing the subject, "I should let you get back to sleep." She rose to leave, but felt his hand gently close around her wrist as she turned away.

"Please, don't go," Sirius said, voice just barely above a whisper. "I don't want to be alone. I'm tired of having to deal with these nightmares alone. No one else really understands. My guilt over what happened to James and Lily, all those years in Azkaban – there's no one who understands better than you what it's like to be a prisoner, to relive that experience in your nightmares." He pulled her down to sit on the edge of the bed next to him. "Please."

Marlene swallowed uncomfortably, her pulse quickening. "Sirius, I don't – I can't – "

"I'm not asking anything more of you than to just lay here with me. I just need to know I'm not alone. We don't even have to be close. I just – I need this." He looked at her pleadingly. She had never seen him so vulnerable before.

Marlene's first instinct was to tell him no. She had never been able to even think about sharing a bed with another man ever since her captivity. Even something as innocent as what Sirius was asking seemed frightening to her. She didn't think she could bring herself to do it. But the way he was looking at her reminded her of herself. There were times that she'd awoken from those nightmares and had wanted nothing more than the company of another human being. Could she really deny him this one thing that might bring him more comfort than he'd received in the last fourteen years?

"I'll do it," she finally conceded. "But just – leave some space between us."

Sirius moved over to the opposite edge of the bed. "I'll stay over here and you can have that side. Is that fine?"

Marlene nodded. The bed was big enough to hold two people with a fair amount of space left over. She sighed as she settled in beneath the sheets. Her heart was still racing. Sirius reached out in the space between them and she took his hand. "Are you alright?"

"I think so," she said. "Goodnight, Sirius."

His smile was the last thing she saw before she closed her eyes. "Goodnight, Marlene. And thank you."

This isn't so bad, Marlene thought as she drifted off to sleep, Sirius's hand still warm in hers. I might be able to get used to this.