A/N: This is a ridiculously looooooong chapter. I should have chopped it in three pieces but I was too impatient to write Bo for chapter 9 and well... I really like this whole chapter to be my love letter of a sorts to the Dark Fae. In here is everything I have pondered about the Dark Fae.
Anyway, just want to say thank you again for the reviews. It's great that you liked Lewis kicking Vex's ass in the last chapter and I hope you like the Lewis-Morrigan interaction here. This is where the M rating becomes justified. As always, hope you enjoy!
Chapter 8
Around five weeks after Lewis bonded with the Morrigan, six months since he left the fae, he finally caught a glimpse of Bo.
It was in the Morrigan's agency building. He had been on the lobby, on his way to the office and there, out of the corner of his eye, managed to spy upon the succubus' form stepping out of the elevator.
Lewis' first reaction had been to freeze but his brain had kicked in and he ducked and sort of crab-walked to hide under the reception area. The receptionist had looked at him in confusion but she knew his face now, so she didn't comment.
His heart had pounded heavily and he thought he would pass out. Bo looked amazing. He only saw her for a second but it was enough for the feelings to rush out and overwhelm him. There had been fierce yearning and affection that made him want to run to her and gather her in his arms, never to let go. But there had also been guilt and dread and sadness and all the conflicting emotions had caused his muscles to lock. Luckily, it hadn't been for long and he was able to gain control quickly.
Lewis waited for what had felt like an eternity before the receptionist got impatient and nudged him with her shoe.
When he stood up, he had pretended that nothing happened and tried hard not to look around for that familiar figure. (He still did.)
He had expected the Morrigan to taunt him with Bo's presence but when she didn't, he kept his tongue as well. Maybe the succubus was visiting someone else in the office? There were other Dark Fae working in the building. He lasted until the end of their meeting before he broke and ventured a tentative, "Was... did someone come asking for me?"
The Morrigan had looked at him in confusion. She had been playing with her pen absentmindedly, her bracelets tinkling gently on a slender wrist, but stopped to concentrate on him.
"What?" she asked before her gaze cleared in understanding. "Ah... someone..."
"Yes," Lewis bit out, nerves making his throat constrict.
"No," the Morrigan said. "No one was looking for you."
Lewis breathed a sigh of relief that didn't go unnoticed.
"If someone did ask... what would you do?" the Morrigan asked, looking guarded but interested.
They had a similar conversation, right before the bond ceremony, but he hadn't been able to answer. And things had already changed so much from that time that it felt like months had passed instead of weeks.
"I wouldn't go," he said quickly. He didn't even have to think about it. Judging from his violent reaction earlier, it was clear that he wasn't ready to face Bo yet. He thought he would like it he could still catch glimpses of her, but he had been wrong.
It was comforting to know that the succubus was still near, and he missed her presence in his life, but he didn't want to see her. Even though the nightmares had stopped, the bulk of guilt, sadness and even anger that he felt for Bo was still there, unresolved and weighing him down. (When he ran away from the fae, he meant all fae, Bo included.)
In fact, if he hadn't bound himself to the Morrigan, he thought he would be planning to leave the city now and running to someplace farther.
"No?" the Morrigan's curious voice broke into his thoughts.
Lewis shook his head and looked her in the eye. "No."
The Morrigan looked surprised at his certainty but let it go.
Lewis remembered that moment now that it looked like he was getting his wish.
They were sending him away.
All because of a failed assassination attempt.
xxx
The day had been great, the kind of day that nothing could go no wrong. At least, that was how Vex tried to sell it to them when he barged in on his meeting with the Morrigan and asked them both to join him in his club.
They had already sort-of forgiven each other for the incident and Vex had stopped sending people to ambush him whenever he was in the club, but Lewis had also taken to refusing his invites more often than not.
The Morrigan's first reaction had been to send him away but the stubborn mesmer stayed and eventually managed to cajole her into joining him. That was how Lewis found himself walking with the Morrigan and Vex on the street in front of the building where the Morrigan's car was waiting for her.
And that was how they got shot at.
It all happened too fast. One minute he was watching Vex and the Morrigan and then side stepping a plastic litter on the street, and next there was popping sound followed by a sharp pain that caused him to stumble.
And then the Morrigan had gasped and Lewis blinked as he felt something tug at him, hard. It took a few moments to clear his head and identify the sensation and when he looked up, Vex was almost purple with rage and worry as he hovered uselessly and shouted at his phone.
The Morrigan also looked mad, but she was pale and barely standing. That was when Lewis realized that she had been shot on the side. Her tiny black dress concealed the blood until it seeped through her fingers.
His EMT training kicked in immediately but he barely kept his cool as the bond pulsed with emotion. It was the first time it had done so and Lewis kept getting distracted by the flashes of anger and pain that must've come from the Morrigan. Fortunately, backup arrived soon after and they were both hustled to safety.
xxx
Three days later and here they were at the Morrigan's penthouse, arguing.
The Morrigan was still on house arrest with strict instructions to stay in bed but she was already halfway healed and Lewis suspected, ready to walk out of here and go to work right now. Which was fine, if she was inclined to do so but she was still fixated on revenge mode.
She was in a fine form and her anger gave her a flushed glow, that belied her serious injury. Despite getting the brunt of her annoyance, Lewis couldn't help but admire her spirit.
He had been staying here since the shooting accident, both to provide care - as was his duty as both doctor and body servant - and also recuperate from his own injury. (He hadn't realized at the time that the bullet grazed his ear until they were back into the clinic.)
He got away easily the first two days when he kept her almost always in sedation. (It was the Morrigan's fault really. When she first woke up, she had tried to stand up and look for the shooter herself that she tore her stitches and exacerbated her wound.) But then Vex had come and he had to wake her up. They had spoken for an hour or so before Vex came running out, obviously nervous.
At that, Lewis had stiffened his spine and gathered his courage to face his fuming mistress. He had expected to see her raging at him, demanding once again to be let out and be allowed to do as she pleased. To his surprise, what he got instead was a pale but thoughtful-looking Morrigan. She was still in bed, looking both rumpled and fierce in her red negligee. The sight of her sent an unexpected pang in Lewis' heart but he made sure not to show any reaction. Her quietly blazing eyes told him that she was still in a temper but that it was finally under control.
"Vex tells me that he had captured the shooter," she said in lieu of a greeting.
Oh, good news then, Lewis thought.
"Unfortunately, in his zeal to gain information, he had accidentally killed the man," the Morrigan continued, her voice becoming strained.
Warning! Warning! This is bad! Lewis mind offered unhelpfully. He watched the Morrigan take deep breaths in an effort to calm herself until she could continue.
"He did manage to get something," she revealed and then she looked Lewis in the eye with an expression that confused him. "There were targeting you. Not me."
Lewis blinked and then he blinked again. The information didn't make sense. But before he could say anything, the Morrigan was speaking again, her voice rising louder as her anger got the better of her.
"As if that made a difference! You are my body servant, an extension of myself. Any attack on you is an attack on me!"
"Why?" Lewis suddenly blurted out, interrupting the growing rant.
The Morrigan looked disgruntled at the distraction but answered anyway. "Another one of those dissenters who believed I chose wrongly when I claimed you as my body servant. The fools!"
Lewis was only half-listening to the Morrigan as she continued to mutter dire threats under her breath, as he struggled with the fact that someone tried to kill him. He fingered his injured ear gently and wondered at the fact that if he hadn't moved at the last minute, he would be dead now. Before he could panic, the Morrigan's voice pulled him away from his thoughts.
"You're leaving. I'm sending you away."
At that, Lewis blinked again. "Excuse me?"
"It's clear that you can't stay here where we can't be sure of your safety. I have no idea if that shooter was working alone or if he had been sent by someone gunning for my position. You would have to leave and hide, so they won't get to you."
"No," Lewis said abruptly. He managed to startle them both by his tone.
"No? Did I hear you say that right?" The Morrigan's tone had turned silky and Lewis already knew that that meant she was at her most dangerous. He backtracked immediately.
"No! I mean, I'm your body servant. You can't send me away. I'm supposed to stay beside you at all times." It was true. One of the first things he had done once he got situated in the lab was to raid the library and research the body servant bond. It was basically what he remembered, except there were more details on the body servant's duty, which was mainly attending to the master's body... literally. It meant dressing and bathing the master, preparing and tasting their food (even feeding them, if they wanted you to) and do various other things relating to their body (including sexual practices, which he chose to ignore.).
The Morrigan raised an eyebrow at him and now looked somewhat amused. "But you don't act as my body servant anyway," she argued rightly. "In fact, you don't act much of a servant but more of an employee." Which was right again. Since becoming bonded three months ago, the Morrigan had made no real demands of Lewis and seemed content to let him do his own work as long as he generated reports and justified his research.
"But..." Lewis floundered, and then decided to change tactics. "Where would you send me, anyway? Wouldn't it be safer for me here? Beside you? Or, or... for that matter, why do I have to hide? You said it yourself, I'm only the servant. There's no need to go to such lengths..."
"Didn't you hear me the first time?" The Morrigan interrupted, hissing again. "As my body servant, you have now become an extension of me. When they attack you, they're actually attacking me! And no one," here her face turned dark and her eyes gleamed so malevolently that Lewis couldn't stop a fearful shiver. "no one dares unless they don't expect to live the next day."
They both fell silent for a while as they both contemplated this new situation. Part of Lewis was still confused at the speed which the events were unfolding but part of him was more concerned with the fact that he wanted to stay... with the Morrigan.
Apparently, the Morrigan found it weird too and said so. "You seem so eager for my company, my dear doctor. Have I managed to entice you with my charms?" She was amused again. The abrupt mood changes along with the abrupt decisions being made about his life was making him dizzy.
"It's the bond," Lewis said, furrowing his eyebrows in concentration. The bond was dormant now but surely it was influencing him, right? "And um, I finally just got settled in my work. I don't want to leave in the middle and uh," Lewis petered off with a dejected sigh. Even he knew that was a weak excuse. He tried again. "What about my fans! They'll miss me?"
"That's enough. You will go," the Morrigan ordered. When Lewis made to protest, she cut him off immediately. "And you won't whine about it."
xxx
Two days later found Lewis on his way to Europe, the first destination of what was to be a trip-around-the-world type adventure.
He remembered the conversation with the Morrigan after he had sulkily agreed to her wishes.
"I had this idea to send you away before, but I thought I would wait a few more years," she had said.
"Where were you thinking of sending me?" Lewis asked, curious despite himself.
The Morrigan smiled at her then, and it was the usual I-am-planning-something-you-won't-like-but-can't-do-anything-about smile. "Why, everywhere, darling."
The plan was simple enough: Lewis was supposed to go all over the world to visit Dark Fae settlements (like the one in Congo. Except not in Congo because Lewis had thrown a fit and exercised his veto right: he wasn't getting near that country anytime soon. Or ever.) in some sort of "victory tour" so the Morrigan could "show off" his medical expertise. But because of the current circumstances, he would go incognito instead and pretend he was just yet another human employed by the Morrigan, tasked with updating the medical database.
It was a legitimate excuse since the majority of the fae refused to become fully assimilated in the human world and continued to live in isolated groups away from society, but he would also pay a visit to the ones that lived in the city to get a complete picture.
It was a new experience, to be sure. He had never really been anywhere outside of North America, aside from the Congo. Sometimes, on his frequent trips to visit his people, the Ash would ask someone from the medical staff to accompany him. Lauren had consistently turned down the invitation, unwilling to be parted from Nadia for even a day, and the Ash had always respected that decision.
Now, Lewis was finally getting his chance with the Dark Fae but he would be doing it without the Morrigan, who wasn't able to come.
It was this point that Lewis found himself distracted with.
A large part of him actually felt bad about leaving her behind and he was confused as to whether this was because of the bond or not. He had already felt the bond before and dismissed its coercive effects but now he wasn't sure again.
For example, there was the moment right after the shooting that he felt the Morrigan's emotions. It had disappeared quickly but apparently, the bond was capable of establishing an empathic link when they were put in extreme situations.
And then there was the fact that he had easily acquiesced when the Morrigan ordered him away (he pouted, yes, but still agreed to it, in the end) but he had also seen the logic of her actions in hiding him. What bothered him was not knowing how much of it was the bond working on him, and how much were his own actions.
He knew he could refuse (it was his privilege) but he didn't want to. At least, not in this instance.
Lewis sort-of wanted to ask the Morrigan to order him to do something he usually wouldn't do, so he could test the "obeying" part of their bond. (He wouldn't, of course. Knowing her, he would just end up embarrassed and/or in misery.) His scientific nature demanded that he conduct more tests to formulate a proper theory, but his normal self was just concerned over whether or not he should be more concerned. Was he losing his sense of self and becoming slavish to the Morrigan? Lewis didn't believe so but it bore some reflection. Maybe the bond worked to smooth the edges of their personality, enabling them to relate easier to each other. The Morrigan would be a bit more patient and understanding with him, and Lewis would be a bit more accepting of her.
But that was just one theory, and it would probably take his whole life to understand the whole body servant bond thing. It was all intellectual debate anyway (nothing substantial had happened to be worried about), so Lewis pushed it all in the back of his mind for now.
Aside from those concerns, Lewis had also discovered that he wouldn't be going anywhere on his own. The Morrigan insisted that he be accompanied... by a wolf shape-shifter bodyguard.
Fun.
xxx
Despite his sarcastic (and sullen) frame of mind upon leaving Toronto, Lewis found himself actually enjoying his "tour".
His companion, Devlin Anders, quickly became a new friend.
Lewis initially disliked the young man (he was only 146 years old - equivalent to a human's early twenties) because he was a wolf but discovered then, to his delight, that Devlin was nothing like Dyson. Being young, he was more easy going and less intense. He was also not an alpha wolf, so he had no trouble following Lewis around in his work and accepting orders.
It didn't take long for the two to become friendly with each other. Their situation being what it was, they learned quickly to rely on each other as they bounced from one strange settlement to another. Their personality also matched well. Devlin was the more outgoing of the two and made sure to drag Lewis' out every once in a while to offset his tendency to overwork.
For his part, Lewis was patient with the "younger" man. He knew early on that Devlin was second youngest in the litter of seven pups, and had been largely lost in the shuffle of his big family. He had learned to be alone but Devlin was naturally loyal and sociable. Because Lewis' work and research had re-awakened his tendency to "geek out", he found in Devlin a willing audience that was happy to listen to him babble and explain 'science'. Devlin enjoyed Lewis' efforts to include him in his work and appreciated the attention and care that the other guy gave him. It was like having a big brother/teacher/alpha that was "his" alone.
And despite his youth, Devlin showed remarkable maturity in dealing with Lewis' private life. He didn't even blink an eye when he found out Lewis' real sex.
It was such a casual encounter that Lewis still sometimes believed that it hadn't really happened.
They had been gotten tipsy one night while blowing off some steam (They were playing a video game at their rented apartment. A robot killer one that seemed oddly familiar to Lewis.) when Devlin just asked out of the blue, "So are you straight or lesbian? I don't really know how to classify that with... you know," he waved a hand at him. "Transgender or crossdresser? Drag king?"
Lewis felt his mouth pop open and shut a couple of times until, "How did you know?"
Devlin tapped his nose. "You were bleeding. I thought I was making a mistake but then I noticed you didn't have a," he tapped his Adam's apple, "throat ball?"
"Laryngeal prominence," Lewis corrected absentmindedly before he was able to connect the dots. He flushed wildly when he realized that Devlin was talking about his monthly bleeding. Not that it was monthly anymore. The testosterone that he was still randomly taking was messing with it.
"S'cool. I don't really care," Devlin commented upon seeing his red face. "It's just," he hesitated and Lewis felt a sinking sensation in his stomach. "...kinda embarrassing that you pull more women than I do. I feel like being a... genetic guy? Yeah, anyway, I think that should give me more of an edge but it's like you entice everyone. Straight women, straight men, gay women, gay men. Not fair, dude. Not. Fair," he finished, mock glaring at him.
Lewis let out the breath he was holding and burst into relieved laughter. "I'm just that awesome. Live with it," he joked. At which point, Devlin tackled him and they wrestled around drunkenly.
When they sobered up the next morning, Lewis had quietly informed Devlin that he was now one of the four people who knew about him and he only smiled understandingly. They never talked about it again but Lewis had found that he felt more at ease after that.
xxx
As for the tour, it was an eye-opener for Lewis. He was fascinated by the variety of fae that he met, all with their own set of history and sub-culture, and by the differences he could see, between the behaviour of Dark and Light Fae.
One of the first things that Lauren had learned when she was first introduced to the fae was how different the Dark Fae were to the Light. They were more barbaric, was the impression she had gotten. They had little rules and their mentality was that only the strong survive. They absolutely didn't care for human life; their kills were messy, as if they played with their food first like children that never grew up. They were more dangerous because they were unpredictable and selfish.
Many of these impressions were already discarded in Toronto. In many ways, the Dark Fae were a lot like the Light Fae except they were probably more upfront with their concerns. If they didn't like you, they told you so in your face and Lewis had gotten more than his share of those encounters right after his debut as the Morrigan's body servant.
He had figured out quickly that this was the result of the Morrigan's management style. She didn't police her people as much as the Ash did, allowing them to sort their problems out for themselves. She only jumped in if the matter was important or somehow involving her or her concerns. This usually meant that the Dark Fae weren't afraid to speak their mind to their fellows as long as they believed they had the muscle to back up their opinions.
Lewis found it refreshingly honest and - he didn't want to brag but - easily dealt with.
After all, one couldn't spend five years with the Light Fae without learning to deal with power plays.
The Light Fae were more repressed than the Dark and their passions curtailed by the rules they rigidly follow. It was fair to say that they played "being human" much better than the Dark Fae did but in the end, it was still "only playing". Lewis had long ago learned to see the subtle grace to their dealings, a courteous veneer that hid the danger they were capable of; backstabbing was their preference rather than outright brawling.
(Lewis felt both proud and anguished that he (Lauren) had survived that environment with what little power she had. If only Bo had trusted her that time they first encountered Vex! People had only seen her as a brilliant but ultimately frail human doctor but they always underestimated her learning capability. She had been a slave but she hoarded whatever power she had and used it wisely.)
And like the Light Fae before, the Dark weren't always tolerant of Lewis' presence in their midst but they accepted him grudgingly because of the respect they had for the Morrigan.
On this point, the Morrigan and the Ash (the former Ash. Lachlan was unpopular and barely tolerated himself.) were very similar. Their people both loved and feared them almost equally.
xxx
While Lewis got used to the rhythm of the road - meeting new Dark Fae all the time and doing his work and research on the go - he also never lost touch with his mistress.
In the three months he'd been away, the Morrigan only came up to visit him twice, but they Skyped all the time via satellite internet. (At her convenience, of course, which meant he was sometimes forcing his eyes to stay open at 3:40 in the morning because he was on the other side of the time zone.)
Although it wasn't in the original plan, beyond the fact that Lewis still had to report to her, a routine was somehow established to talk at least twice a week. It was probably the bond again, but Lewis didn't even question it because...he felt lonely and she was a familiar face.
Well, it wasn't exactly loneliness per se that he felt - and he was already ashamed to acknowledge even this much- but Lewis felt... adrift.
It wasn't like he was literally alone - Devlin was there - and not like he couldn't survive on his own - he did just fine when he ran away from the fae -, but there was something about the constant traveling and the different faces that he met that made him feel more lost than ever.
It was disconcerting to know that the Morrigan comforted him. He could still remember the time when the mere mention of her had sent shivers of dread and anxiety through Lauren's spine, and to equate her now with "home" was almost a blasphemy.
But while Devlin was a good companion, he was still also a new face. And technically, he had known the Morrigan for almost six years now. They had a history of sorts, beyond their bond. Devlin may have figured out that he was a woman in disguise but he hadn't known her as Lauren. The Morrigan did. Kind of.
Perhaps more than Lewis would give her credit for. After all, the Morrigan had known about Nadia's curse before her.
He had wondered about it and gathered the courage to ask her in one of their video chat sessions.
The Morrigan had been lounging on the couch, still in her office attire, with the computer on her lap.
"I told you before, darling. Even I couldn't get in between a shaman and their curse," she drawled, taking a luxurious sip of her wine and moaning at the subtle flavor. He ignored her. She teased him frequently enough that he had learned not to react.
Lewis had frowned at her then, "But why didn't you tell me, earlier or... I don't know. You could have used that to lure me to your side..."
The Morrigan gave a theatrical sigh. "I couldn't. The Ash wouldn't have forgiven me and I wasn't going to threaten war just for you," she said with a hint of a cruelty. "When you escaped your own leash... well that was different. Finders keepers, losers weepers, right?"
That had silenced Lewis for a couple of seconds before he dared another question. "Do you regret bonding with me now?" He gestured to the window outside his hotel room. "You have to hide me because I'm a liability."
It was the Morrigan's turn for silence but in the end, she just shook her head. "No. I don't regret you." Lewis stared at her, trying to determine her sincerity through the computer screen. "Not yet, anyway," the Morrigan added.
"Why not?" Lewis asked in confusion.
"My reasons are my own, doctor," the Morrigan said, draining her glass dry. "But believe me, your presence is not as troublesome as you feel it is. I still think that I got the better end of the bargain."
Lewis didn't know what to say to that so he just gave her a small, tired smirk. At least, it was nice to know how much faith the Morrigan had on his talents. Whatever else happened in his future, he was now vindicated by how much he had mattered. He wasn't just some genius pawn of the Ash, to be treated callously. He was someone important.
His conversations with her went like that; they ran a gamut of topics and emotions.
Sometimes it was harried because the Morrigan was busy; sometimes the calls were full of complaints about her work and the ungrateful talents who refused to share their wealth ("I miss having a Siniata."). Sometimes she was tired and irritated, but almost always she was irreverently teasing and amused.
Something about being separated by thousands of miles and communicating via webcam lowered their guards, and Lewis learned more about his mistress and her mercurial moods through those chats than all their time before.
He enjoyed best the times whenever she was at home and comfortable. On those calls, they almost always ended up talking about personal things.
Although she was already well-informed, the Morrigan was curious about his work with the Ash and intrigued by what she termed "the human experience". For all her savvy on manipulating humans and the media to launch her artists, she was still occasionally baffled by human actions. Lewis had taken to sharing some stories from his past to explain. Although, Lewis being Lauren, he couldn't help but devolve into geeky-babbling sometimes, using scientific evidence instead to demonstrate his point.
In return, whenever Lewis would relate a small anecdote about his latest fae hosts, the Morrigan would sometimes favor him with a story of her dealings with them.
Slowly, they became almost friendly with each other and Lewis started to trust her.
That was probably why it hurt so much more when he was reminded of why she was the Morrigan.
xxx
They were in England, visiting a clan of pixies living in the moors of Devon. Lewis had been a ball of frustration throughout the week as the clan leader kept blocking his attempts to properly examine his people. Even with the Morrigan's mandate supporting him, he couldn't do more than assist the chief healer and take down notes whenever he felt like sharing something.
It was a miserable experience, especially since the pixies couldn't accommodate them and they had to rent a shack in the middle of nowhere and endure the constant drizzling weather.
Lewis finally decided to cut the trip short after the week was over and splurged on hotel rooms for him and Devlin before they headed on to their next stop.
It was there that the Morrigan came to him.
xxx
He had been at the bar with Devlin, having done the dragging this time, and they were toasting their relief of having a proper bed and feeling warm at last. Lewis felt her first, like a tingle at the back of his head. It didn't take long to decipher the feeling as one that came from the bond and he found himself genuinely excited to see her.
He hadn't needed Devlin's surprised, "Oh! The Morrigan's here!" to know that she was near but they turned to face her at the same time, with matching bows of respect.
"Morrigan."
"Mistress."
Seeing the Morrigan's amused smirk caused an automatic smirk in his own face especially when she just snapped her fingers at Devlin and said, "Go away."
Devlin left immediately.
"I didn't know you were travelling," Lewis began, already turning back to the bar to order her a drink.
"Hmm, thank you," the Morrigan said, accepting the drink. She sat down next to him and sipped her wine slowly. "It was unscheduled." She paused and at his questioning look, declared, "I finally found the treasonous bastards."
He knew immediately that she was talking about the people who tried to have him killed. It was there in the way her eyes had twinkled with glee but he still felt conflicted inside. Those fae were probably, hopefully, dead by now. He should be rejoicing the fact that he was safe and possibly heading home soon. But he couldn't stop the niggle of pity for those poor souls that tried to kill him because he knew how vicious the fae could be in protecting their interests and the Morrigan was one of the worst.
None of these feelings showed on his face though. Instead, Lewis lifted his glass in salutation. "Good work."
The Morrigan preened a little and they drank silently before she turned to him again. "You knew one of them actually," she said.
He blinked a little, the words not really registering. The stress of the previous week coupled with the shots of whiskey that he had already taken was hitting him hard. He had also begun to think of home and was finally allowing the relief to bubble up. "What? Where?" he asked dumbly.
The Morrigan sneered a little at the memory. "Your last hosts. Their ward was part of the group that wanted to oust me."
Lewis blinked again, but this time in shock. "Lia?"
He remembered the girl clearly. She had only been slightly older than Devlin and had been kind to them both for the duration of their stay. "It must be a mistake," he blurted out.
"Oh no," the Morrigan said, shaking her head, smirking again. "She was the shooter's only living relative. She knew their plans and..."
But Lewis wasn't listening anymore. His temples felt tight and there was a burning sensation rising in his chest. "No," he interrupted.
The Morrigan's eyes flashed but she was still in a good mood and only responded with an irked eyebrow.
"If she was really part of them, whoever they are, she could have easily killed me when I stayed in her house... she couldn't be... she's not a part of it!" he rushed out.
The Morrigan acknowledged his explanation with a careless shrug. "I don't know why she didn't kill you then. Maybe she didn't want to risk getting caught by Anders, or maybe she was trying to win your trust and try again in the future. It doesn't matter because she won't have a chance to do it now."
Lewis felt cold and hot, his breathing getting strangled as a rushing noise overwhelmed him.
"You..." he started but stopped, trying to gain control of the rage welling up inside of him. He was gripping his glass so tightly that it was a wonder it hadn't broken yet. He tried to concentrate on the crystal design but it wasn't working. He threw the glass back on the bar and grabbed the Morrigan's arm instead, pulling her to her feet.
She yelped at his actions and even tried to pull away, but he was already walking away, forcing her to walk too or be dragged unceremoniously.
"Do you want to lose your arm?" Lewis heard the outraged threat but didn't stop walking.
"We can't talk here. I can't..." he squeezed her arm tighter until he heard her hiss in pain. "We're going to my room."
He let her go in the elevator and could see that he had already left bruises. The Morrigan looked murderous but before she could open her mouth again, he shot her his own hateful glare. He felt a momentary satisfaction at the sight of her shocked eyes but it was fleeting sensation against the ocean of anger that was still waiting to be unleashed.
They reached his hotel room without another word. In the back of his mind, he wondered about the fact that she had backed down and wasn't punishing him yet (She could do it so easily, he had no illusions about it.) but he couldn't make himself worry about it either.
"You killed her," he stated, pacing restlessly and shooting her angry looks. "You killed Lia."
"So?" the Morrigan looked amused again, although her smile was more malicious compared to her earlier excitement. "She was a traitor."
There was a knowing look in the Morrigan's eyes now, like she had figured something out in the last few minutes. It was clear that she was still furious but her lips were twisted in a nasty smirk.
He gritted his teeth in frustration. He knew that she was winding him up deliberately but even the knowledge couldn't stop the surge of rage. In fact, her words only boosted his confidence to face her down.
"She was innocent!" he yelled, stepping closer to her.
The Morrigan didn't back down and only looked at her nails in feigned boredom. "Oh, come now darling. No one is innocent." She paused and then slyly added, "You of all people should know that."
The intentional dig into his past blindsided him and the hurt caught him off guard for a second. The Morrigan stepped closer, sensing weakness, and continued, "I told you before, didn't I? Anyone who thinks they can take me on had better be prepared for the consequences." She was so close to him now that he could feel her breath hit his cheeks.
The sight and smell of her only aggravated him further. "Shut up!" he yelled, grabbing her shoulders and giving her a small shake. "Shut up," Lewis repeated softly, his body shaking with the emotions he was barely holding back. The Morrigan took a step back to dislodge his grip and stiffened when she felt the wall behind her. Before she could move away, he stepped closer and leaned his hands on the wall, trapping her with his body.
"Lia was... she didn't do anything... she..."
He wanted to tell her that the girl had been kind to them, that she had confided to Lewis that she was getting married soon and that she was so excited to build a family of her own. He tried to continue but his thoughts were scattered. He couldn't help but compare Lia and Nadia, now that the Morrigan brought his past up. Nadia was innocent too, she only followed Lauren to the Congo because she loved her. She didn't deserve anything that happened to her.
"Why are you so upset?" the Morrigan asked, sounding genuinely confused. She raised her right hand and Lewis flinched, expecting her to slap him. Instead, she stroked him comfortingly, her actions at odds with her next words. "Did you like the girl? Did you fuck her?" the Morrigan asked, relishing each word vindictively. "Is that why you're so determined to defend her?"
Lewis stared at her, each word sending a dart of pain into him. But he wasn't completely unaware of her body, still pressed so closely to his, her curves sending a shock of sensation between his thighs.
"What is it, doctor?" the Morrigan continued, "What sob story did she tell you to turn on me like this? Or was she just that good...?"
Desperate to make that cruel mouth shut up, Lewis dipped his head and bit her right where her neck met the shoulder, making the Morrigan gasp in shock. He quickly followed the bite with a soothing lick and suck, his lips traveling up her neck doling tiny bites against the smooth skin. Instead of pushing him away, he could feel her clutching at his sides desperately, already panting in his ear.
"I said shut up," Lewis whispered at her ear and bit the lobe before she could answer. At last, he had found an outlet for his anger. The desire was shocking but it wasn't new either; her reaction only egged him further, eager to know how much he could push her.
The Morrigan gave a tiny yelp at the pain but her moan afterwards was a clear answer. She turned her head to capture his lips but Lewis dodged her, continuing the nibbling bites on her chin and the edges of her mouth. Impatient, the Morrigan dug her fingernails on his flesh and muttered, "Stop teasing me."
Lewis ignored the pain from her claws and bit back, "Bitch." He raised one hand to her mouth and pulled at her lower lip. "Why would I want to kiss this poisonous mouth?" The Morrigan shook his hand away and lunged to take the kiss she wanted. Lewis didn't stop her and only kissed back.
It was a savage kiss, tongues battling against each other and teeth biting mercilessly. It wasn't about romance but a need to dominate and plunder and feed the dark desire between them.
Lewis's left hand crept towards her nape and grabbed hold of her hair, yanking her away and keeping her head in an awkward angle. The Morrigan gasped at the rough treatment but didn't resist.
"You're not pushing me away," Lewis said wonderingly, and gave an experimental tug at her hair. Even though she glared at him, the Morrigan couldn't stop her delighted whimper. Lewis kissed her again, pressing his body closer until she was pinned tightly to the wall. His other hand climbed up to her chest and squeezed a breast, eliciting more moans.
"You like this. This is what you wanted, right?" Lewis asked when they parted for air, pinching a nipple to demonstrate. The Morrigan shivered. "You want me." He didn't know where the chattiness came from. She had never been much of a talker in bed but apparently, Lewis was.
But then the Morrigan spoke for the first time, startling him. "And you want me."
He frowned at her but she had gained some of her confidence and continued. "I could always feel your eyes on me," she taunted, "You pretend that you don't care but you can't help but look, can you?" She grabbed his hips and aligned the bulge in his pants between her thighs, grinding herself on it shamelessly.
Lewis groaned at the sensation and knew that he was wet.
He grinded back and for a moment they dry humped against the wall, panting harshly. But Lewis wasn't done yet. He took her blouse and ignoring the buttons, ripped it open to reveal a red, satin bra. Her hard nipples stood out and he took them in his mouth, bra and all, nipping and sucking and licking at her enthusiastically.
The Morrigan gave out a yell of pleasure, her hips humping still but his new position changed the angle, leaving her mostly frustrated.
"You've been teasing me since the first day," Lewis accused her when he surfaced back for another furious kiss. "You like it when I look."
"Of-of course I did," the Morrigan stuttered, finally feeling his fingers climbing on her thighs, raising her skirt carelessly. "Hurry," she urged.
His anger sparked at that command and he bit her again on the neck, worrying and licking the reddening first mark. The Morrigan grabbed his hair but she didn't try to pull him away, only holding him closer. His fingers were still working under her skirt until they reached the wet panties, and he let his nails graze her swollen bud. The Morrigan's knees suddenly buckled and Lewis barely caught her before she fell.
"That close already, huh?" he said, unable to stop himself from smirking.
The Morrigan glared at him but willingly allowed herself to be hoisted up in his arms, her legs locking around his waist and her back braced against the wall. "I said hurry, didn't I?"
"Yes, your majesty," Lewis said cheekily, as one hand undid his pants and then tore her panties in haste. "As you command," he added as his only warning, just as he thrust the full length of his strap-on to her wet heat.
The Morrigan groaned and stiffened at the sudden intrusion but Lewis didn't give her a chance to catch her breath, grabbing her hips instead and started to pump.
"Ahhh..."
Lewis closed his eyes at the sensation of the strap-on rubbing into his own needy bud and thought of the last time he'd had sex.
It was with Nadia of course, and it had been slow and gentle and loving. Nadia seduced her frequently, bored at staying in their rooms all day. She had tried to be aggressive but there was a fragility to her that Lauren noticed and reacted to accordingly. Every move she made, every kiss was laced with love and apology and helplessness, and Lauren had always been careful.
Sometimes, she had compared Nadia with Bo, even though she hated herself for it. Her first time with Bo was slightly awkward (and boy, she didn't expect a succubus could be awkward with sex), both of them nervous but eager and the second time was keen and frantic. But those encounters were always passionate and hungry.
And once upon a time she had all that with Nadia: awkward sex, slow or fast sex, tired or hungry or angry sex... everything. And then the only thing left to them (what time took and time ran out soon enough to remedy it) had been the careful sex which hid words and feelings.
Lewis' morose thoughts disappeared when the Morrigan took her turn to yank his hair fiercely. He hissed at the pain in his scalp and glared at her. She only glared right back and said, "Concentrate!" before slamming herself back down on him, causing the insert on the back of the strap-on to dig into her aching centre. His knees almost gave from the sharp pleasure but he gritted his teeth and pumped harder and faster in retaliation.
He watched the Morrigan's face contort into agonized bliss and decided that he didn't want to think about Bo or Nadia right now because this wasn't about them. He buried his face on the Morrigan's neck and inhaled deeply of their combined smell; the feel of her body writhing against him, the sounds they were making - everything drove him crazy until he was slamming into her harshly, uncaring of the banging racket they were creating.
It didn't take long before they peaked, the Morrigan first before Lewis allowed himself to fall after her. Afterwards, he somehow managed to move both of them to the bed where they collapsed in breathless relief.
xxx
"You killed her," he said, after a couple of minutes had passed by. They lay side by side on the bed and Lewis could feel a slight chill now from his cooling perspiration.
"Are we still on that?" the Morrigan asked in exasperation. But when she turned to face him, her eyes were serious. "You know it had to be done. She was too closely related to him, I couldn't let her go away."
Lewis sighed heavily and ran a tired hand over his face. Yes, he knew how it worked. That was why it hurt so much. This was the part of the fae that he didn't miss and he realized, this was why he had been so angry too.
Because he had forgotten how bloodthirsty the fae could be and how vengeful the Morrigan was.
Although some of them tried to be good and conscientious, it was in the nature of all fae to take advantage of the lesser creatures. They take and take and rarely give back; at best they could be neutral.
Lewis thought that he had already grasped this concept about the fae and was more prepared this time. He had hardened his heart and thought he could keep the fae on arms' length. He was so sure that he could play the game and use them uncaringly just as they used him. He could accept a certain responsibility for them but people still slipped under his guard and that angered him. The Morrigan, Vex, Devlin and now Lia too. He didn't even realize how much he started caring again until this happened.
"It sucks," he said as he thought that maybe he would always care. He was a doctor, after all. That was his nature.
"It does." The Morrigan's tone made him look at her. For a second, there was regret in her tone until she shrugged and said, "But that's the nature of the job, darling." Her words echoed his thoughts eerily. "I didn't get this position by being merciful."
The Morrigan hadn't been trying to deliberately hurting him and was in fact, protecting him. In the end, it was all just unlucky coincidence that he knew the girl. Lewis sighed again.
"I should punish you," she suddenly added causing him to look at her in surprise. "For this," she elaborated, holding the arm that was already bruising from his tight grip earlier at the bar.
He tensed at that, suddenly unsure, but she only smiled at him and gave a lazy stretch. "But I think you've more than made up for it, haven't you?"
Relieved, he relaxed back into the bed. Lewis realized after a while that his chest felt light. He had seriously mouthed off to his mistress, challenging her and even manhandling her, but he wasn't getting punished for it. It was bizarre. And amazing. It made him feel... empowered somehow.
But then the current situation caught up to him again and he turned to sit up.
"Where are you going?" He felt the Morrigan shifting on the bed as well. "No round two?"
He turned to look back at her and for a second felt tempted by the picture she unknowingly (or was it knowingly?) presented. Hair mussed, lipstick smudged on swollen lips; her blouse half open showing a peek of satin bra and her skirt still raised to her hips revealing the expanse of a smooth thigh.
"No," he said a bit regretfully. "We can't do this again."
She raised a teasing eyebrow. "Because of Bo?"
"Always."
And for a second, the Morrigan's face softened and it felt like she suddenly understood all of Lewis' (Lauren's) fucked up feelings for Bo.
And he thought he loved her, just for that second of empathy.
He really shouldn't think of things like that but he couldn't help it. Inside, he was still (and probably always will be) carrying Lauren's neediness for affection. Despite her logic, barren years of isolated waiting and hoping and standing guard on a sleeping figure had made its mark. Lauren had been so hungry for a scrap of understanding - for someone to see her as a person once more and not just a tool to be used - that whenever someone did, she gave them (Bo, Trick, Hale) her all.
"Yes and no." He spoke again, turning away from her for a second to gather his thoughts before catching her eyes again. "I love Bo. She's... she's everything to me. But she's not the only reason. We can't do this because we're already bound together and I don't want to mess that up. You're not in love with me and I'm not in love with you." Lewis paused to let that sink in and continued, "But I do... I respect you and I... what we have now, before this," he gestured his hand in between them, "It worked. I don't want to add the complication of sleeping together."
The Morrigan stared at him for some time before she gave a small nod. Of course that wasn't the end of it. She also pouted at him. "Spoilsport."
Lewis only grinned at her. This was familiar behaviour, at least. He stood up and went to the bathroom to wash up. "Are you staying for the night?" he thought to ask after a couple of minutes.
There was a sound of stirring on the other room and the Morrigan's voice floated to him. "I didn't plan to but yes, I think I want to stay."
"Want me to book you another room?" He decided he wanted a shower after all and began to undress.
"I'll stay here." Came the cheeky reply.
Lewis frowned but let it go. He was tired and it had been a very long week. When he came out of the shower afterwards, the Morrigan was still on the bed and looking at him in surprise. He wondered about that for a second before he realized that he had automatically gotten ready for bed and had therefore removed everything that made him "Lewis".
"Sometimes I forget that you were someone else," the Morrigan began but hesitated, "no, that's not right exactly. The disguise... you make it easy to forget that you ever looked like this, but the personality..." she gave him a searching look. "You've changed."
Startled, Lewis finished dressing for bed and turned to her. "What do you mean?"
The Morrigan's face scrunched into an frustrated frown before she gave up and gestured to his body. "Just, this. Changed."
Lewis would have rolled his eyes but he was really, really tired. He just sat down on the bed and stated the obvious. "I took out the strap-on. It's drying in the bathroom."
"Not that," the Morrigan said, glowering at him. She sighed and tried again. "When I saw you again six months ago, I was very impressed with your disguise. It was flawless, at first look." Lewis raised an eyebrow at that description. The Morrigan continued, "Eventually I figured out that it was just that... a disguise. The more we talked, the more I could see that the personality you created was brittle. Like a dress that was just a size too big." She looked him in the eye. "But now, you feel comfortable. You're not just purely Lewis, but Lauren's mixed in too. It's becoming balanced," she finished, looking proud with her theory.
Lewis pondered that for a second before he realized that what the Morrigan said made sense.
He had been feeling more relaxed lately, hadn't he? In the beginning, Lewis was supposed to be all the things Lauren couldn't be, but somehow along the way, Lauren's old traits had started surfacing again (the geekiness, the workaholism) and it felt good. There was a sense of relief to know that he didn't have to completely suppress his real self anymore.
He gave her a grateful smile then but only got under the covers and said, "There's extra clothes on my suitcase if you want to change. Good night, Morrigan."
"Call me Evony, darling." was the last thing he heard before he fell asleep.
A/N2: Okay, so probably more OOC-ness here? But I hope not. What I really wanted to do was try and stretch Lauren's character further to say that, "hey this is totally possible!" The show only reveals so much about her and there's still so many things that we don't know, so I wanted to look into those little hints that they keep dropping and expand it so we can clearly see Lauren for who she is and who she can be. Anyway, as always hope you enjoyed it. I welcome all comments and will try to answer all your queries. :D
Also, here's an omake: (extra, behind the scenes)
Devlin came running to him with a slightly terrified face and Lewis had to fight against rolling his eyes in exasperation. He wondered what trouble his friend could've gotten into this time. Last time he had that face, they were almost killed by a pissed off Dullahan whose head was hidden by Devlin in a supposedly "harmless" prank.
"I am so screwed," Devlin said in greeting as soon as he was within earshot.
"Dev, what did you do?" Lewis asked, sighing.
"I think I got married last night," Devlin said and showed him a bracelet made from braided flowers. "Look! Shayla gave it to me last night but I was drunk and I wasn't thinking..."
Lewis blinked. "What? No. I have those too. Look." He took out three bracelets from his pocket. "It's just a welcome gift," he explained to the wolf. "Actually, funny story," He smiled as he recalled last night's celebration. "The girls started arguing about who could give me a bracelet but I said they could all give me one and they looked a little confused at first..." Lewis petered off as he began to remember last night's events more clearly. They made him say some sort of poetry too before he passed out from the drink. And they were all very attentive this morning. He glanced at the bracelets on his hand. "Oh no."
Devlin couldn't help his amused guffaw despite the dread in his stomach. "You married three girls? You are so dead."
"Shit."