Notes from the author: Hi guys! Here is yet another update. I hope you like this one as well. I'm sorry it took me a while, for some reason I couldn't upload my new chapters since I couldn't get the fanfiction menu working, hope you forgive me. Anyway thanks goes out to all the readers once again, especially to RodiSquall and laurose, your reviews mean the world to me. Next up, will Schuldig and Jei finally go with Yohji and end Nagi's misery once and for all? Also the pairing I have in mind since the very start will finally be revealed! (Don't despair though, I may still have another one, but it's still under wraps. Tehee!) Without further ado, here goes the next chapter!
(Telepathic thoughts are in Italic.)
Chapter Seven
'The time will come when we will be separated from each other, and either or both of us will be too vulnerable to do anything about it. When that happens, we need to think twice about coming back to the team, either as an asset or a liability.' Crawford had once told him after a mission that had gone wrong had almost cost them their lives trying to accomplish it.
Schuldig thought he was being a bit melodramatic. 'We got the target, that's what matters.'
'No Schuldig. The team is more important. If I were to find myself more of a hindrance to the team, I would do everything it takes to keep the team safe. If I had to go away, or if I had to kill myself, I would gladly do it.'
Schuldig had glared at the man for being too serious. Crawford always was, but rare are the times when he was both that and pessimistic. If anything, the man always had a way of seeing things in a positive light, having the advantage to rely on visions of the future that allow him to plan things ahead.
No matter how much he hated him for saying that, Crawford almost always told the truth. From then on he had that conversation etched in his mind ever since.
Schuldig continued to stare at the window for a little while longer before studying his profile on an oval mirror hanging on the wall to his left, marveling once more at how his face had drastically changed. The sallow cheeks, the tired eyes, the unruly fiery mane was a far cry from the old Schuldig whose feral grin spelled danger to whoever came across his path. What was left of him looked pathetic, definitely not the man Crawford would want back in his team. He couldn't even stand being in the main city for half a day without going berserk. Schuldig allowed a weak grin, remembering the Irish comrade fondly.
Requesting Yohji to bring Jei along was like asking for trouble, but Schuldig found this helpful - having at least one constant companion within the vicinity will help him work on his shields. Add to that said companion being a certain former madman, Schuldig realized that soon he would have to be very busy. With a resolute sigh, he did a once over of the cabin and braced himself as he opened the door. But just a few steps out, he could already hear the excitement, the barrage of thoughts that just threatened to shred him to pieces.
He'd been trying to recuperate. He tried taking walks by the docks, dropping by town to buy a few supplies but never staying for too long. Eventually, the cacophony of random noises and thoughts gets to him that he had to leave quickly.
He can't turn back now, no matter how hard his head throbbed. There has to be an explanation here, an uncommon denominator. Why could he survive going to the marketplace when he couldn't even stand still to wait for the two to get close? He could practically hear them coming down the beach.
He could communicate with Jei. He had been doing it every now and then, it became sort of a routine. He concentrated on him now that this was the first time the man had ever been as close in proximity as before. He was partly relieved that his thoughts didn't cut him up, but apprehensive to have the feeling of underlying ones lying quietly but dangerous within the deeper recesses of his mind.
He could live with that, perhaps for a few days at a time, he could handle Jei around.
Kudou was a different matter. The moment he tried diving into the blond's thoughts, a rich symphony of ideas and memories blared across his own mind like an orchestra out of tune.
Of course the answer was obvious. This is the first time he's seeing him after the mission that went wrong.
'He's just here to see me.' Schuldig thought over and over, coaxing himself. Wincing, he took a few minutes to compose himself before stepping out once more into the beach.
Yohji felt the sand underneath his toes as he stared listlessly at the ocean. It has been a little over a month when he started this case, and while the other cases he took from Kanzaki-san had already been solved, it seemed he would be able to close this one too.
It seemed impossible at the time. His gut instinct kept screaming at him to push through with it, even if it meant compromising the trust of his family. In the end, he chose to leave them, not because he was mad or anything, but because he wanted them to be safe, in the event that he finds that he made a wrong decision to extend a helping hand to their ex-enemy.
He surveyed his surroundings and found a decent shack a little closer into the woods that led to a dirt road. It didn't look inhabited, and yet a certain redhead emerged from behind it, a mere shadow of his former self.
"Schuldig." Yohji muttered when the man drew closer. The man used to be one of the deadliest men in Japan, but now it looked as if the slightest touch would inflict pain enough for him to shy away from human contact.
Schuldig's gaze went to Jei who stood a few yards farther away from Yohji, and yet the distance didn't seem to make any difference. Though violent, angry thoughts lay dormant inside Jei's head, he could still feel them, and it was already starting to scratch at his shields, sending little spasms of pain in his temples.
Jei seemed to take a hint and turned to walk farther away in the opposite direction.
'Don't stray too far. I might need you.'
'Not yet.' Jei smiled inwardly, glancing at the waters as he made his way along the shore. 'But sure I'll stay close enough for ye.'
Having just the Irish stand there was enough to make him reel. It was really all too soon for this. Schuldig sighed and turned to Yohji. "Tell them I can't come back."
"Why?"
Schuldig tried to sneer, but only managed a grim smile. "Look at me..." The redhead attempted to explain. "The reason I stayed behind is that I'm still trying to recover. I may have physically healed, but if you drag me out there..."
Yohji watched as the older man looked out forlornly towards the water. "What's important for Nagi is for all of you to be together."
"You don't understand. I can't do that." Schuldig sighed desperately facing him. "The minute I get there, my telepathy will break. My shields will shatter and I'll lose control of it. I'll hear everyone in Tokyo."
"Is it repairable?"
"It's going to take a while." Schuldig pocketed his hands. "Jei's keeping an eye on me, like I keep an eye on him."
"You'll come back though, once you're okay?"
"You miss me?" Schuldig grinned.
Yohji frowned at that. While he admitted that he had gotten used to hearing about the redhead, he personally didn't know him yet enough to miss the man. "I'm asking so I can warn my ex-teammates about it."
Schuldig snorted, turning towards the sea.
"Who am I kidding." Yohji muttered. He wasn't exactly in speaking terms with them; for the past few weeks he had been diligently working on his cases that he'd finished most of them and had gotten paid. This was the only case left; he could go on vacation somewhere, vanish for a while.
Forget.
"Do I tell them where I found you?"
Schuldig shook his head. "Just tell them I left you a message."
Yohji nodded at that. Awkwardly, he thrust his hand towards the redhead, to which the other took in surprise. "Good luck then."
Schuldig sniffed, letting go of his hand. "You too, I guess."
'Maybe it's better this way,' Yohji thought, turning back to the direction where he came, only to turn around again. "When you come back, will Schwarz regroup?"
Schuldig shrugged. "There's no more Schwarz. The last mission attested to that - we've turned our backs to the elders."
Yohji felt somehow relieved at that; Schwarz no longer posed a threat to Weiss, and he no longer felt like he had betrayed his friends. With a resolute nod, he turned around one last time to leave the redhead in his own corner of the world just as he had requested.
Of course, Nagi wasn't too thrilled with the news.
"That's it?" Nagi grounded his teeth, visibly irritable. "What else did they say?"
"They'll come back." Yohji wanted to soothe the other man but he figured he couldn't say anything more. "You've got to understand kid, Tokyo's highly congested. If it is true what he says, I probably might have gone insane had I been in his shoes and forced myself to come back here."
"I'm starting to wonder if I should pay you for this."
Yohji sighed heavily; giving that kind of status report to a client won't likely give him the payment he should receive. Nevertheless, he was glad that it was over, somehow. "Look, Nagi. I found them. They said to give you a message. I gave you proof that I met them. Frankly, I don't care much if you paid me whole or not, I'm just glad that I somehow solved this case. If you think otherwise, that is not my responsibility anymore. I can't persuade someone to go back if he had a valid reason not to, and I think that he has."
Nagi glared at him pointedly. "I'm not asking for your opinion."
"I'm sorry, but I'm sure Crawford thought the same way, which was why he didn't appear too eager to find them right off the bat. Worried, yes, but he didn't push it like you did. At least we know now for sure that wherever they are they are fine and that they intend to go back when the right time comes."
"When is that?"
"If he can handle being here at all." Yohji answered. "Please understand Nagi. I've done what I can and staked more than enough for this case."
Nagi sighed, gazing at the ceiling defeatedly. "I know. I'm sorry. I just miss them, you know?"
Yohji smiled empathically. "No worries, kiddo. I know how that feels."
Nagi handed out an envelope before he stood up wearily to take his leave. "For your troubles." He watched Yohji bow gratefully and take the payment.
Yohji looked up and saw hesitation in the other man's eyes. "Uhm, can I do anything else for you?"
"Maybe you should know, after all you've done for me.." Nagi crossed his arms defensively. "Please don't tell anyone that I told you about this, you and the others aren't supposed to know yet."
"What is it?"
"I'll be working for Kritiker."
The sudden news had Yohji speechless for most of the afternoon as he sat back contemplating on what has happened.
Nagi had either been hired or had applied for Kritiker as an agent, a valuable asset to the organization. He was glad that this would probably put a definite end to the rivalry between Weiss and Schwarz.
On the other hand, he highly doubted that Omi didn't know about this either. Ken and Aya might have no idea about this, but Omi being the son and future heir of Shuuichi who is the brains of Kritiker, must have known.
No wonder he understood Yohji's predicament of having to help an ex-rival.
He frowned, feeling slightly put out by it. He looked at the folders on the right side of his table - all the cases Kanzaki-san handed to him had been closed, stamped, and made ready for the archives.
Yohji propped his feet on the table. Not bad for the first quarter of the month, he was able to pay off his loans and had savings to spare. He figured he deserved a break. He considered calling Omi to berate him for keeping a secret from him, one which would have made his conscience lighter and his life easier, but decided against it. Instead, he opted to leave a simple note, with hardly a clue as to where he might be going.
'Where indeed?' With a grin, an idea dawned on him.
When Yohji came back, he found that Jei had somehow moved in with Schuldig.
"What brings you here so soon?" Jei asked, standing by the porch, the redhead meanwhile nowhere to be found.
Yohji sighed, shaking his head. "I just..." 'This was the first place that came to mind. Sharing a refuge. You ok with that?'
I don't mind.
Yohji and Jei turned when Schuldig wordlessly came out the door, looking a bit worse for wear. Yohji had thought inwardly, with the intent to reconstruct his answer before speaking to Jei. Instead, the telepath caught the silent question and answered it himself. 'Kamisama, he looks...' "Maybe...maybe it isn't such a good idea after all." Yohji muttered lamely.
"I said I don't mind." Schuldig tried a little more persuasively, despite the tiredness in his eyes. "I've just been doing a little training with Jei around."
"I don't want to cause any trouble, maybe I could get a place at the pub like before."
"I do that sometimes." Jei said. "Whenever he can't have me around."
Schuldig looked at the Irishman wearily.
"So you wouldn't mind me being roomies with you?" Yohji allowed a small smile, which helped lighten Jei's spirits a little. The amused grin graced the younger man's face, much to Yohji's relief.
"Sure. I'll have ye help at the stall some of the time if you want."
"Stall?"
"He fishes for a living." Schuldig said shortly, a weak smile on his face. "I really don't mind, Yohji. Maybe some of the time I might have both of you booted out but I can manage today."
"Okay." Yohji nodded. "I'll stay for today."
"So will I."
"No, you will not. We need food, so you need to fish." Schuldig sneered.
Jei rolled his eyes. "Fine."
Yohji chuckled as he watched the younger man go back inside only to retrieve his stuff for fishing, all the while mumbling unintelligently. Schuldig meanwhile could only lean tiredly by the door, seeing Jei off to the beach.
Before he knew it, the ever increasing ideas, theories and assumptions slowly creeped into Schuldig's thoughts. Solutions, contingency plans, worst-case scenarios, dilemmas - "Yohji. Just. For one minute, just stop thinking."
Yohji whipped his head, eyes wide. "Oh. Sorry." He gulped, seeing the redhead lean on the wall beside the door.
Schuldig looked momentarily into the horizon, trying to steady his gaze.
And then he saw the flowers, the bees, the lush green trees. He began to laugh.
"What's funny?"
"I said stop thinking, Kudou. Not think happy thoughts. Don't think. At all."
Yohji frowned. "How do I do that?"
Schuldig sighed wearily. "It's not possible, is it? Well shield them, then. Like, when you have a secret and you can't tell me. Don't think too loud so I can hear."
Yohji closed his eyes, despairing at the complexity of it all. "I'll get a place at the pub."
"No." Schuldig growled. "Just, walk it off. It settles easily if thoughts are sorted out, none of those indecisions, various contingencies and stuff. It's confusing and it makes my head ache."
"Kay." Yohji muttered, dropping off his bag by the doorstep. "Maybe I'll have a look at what Jei's up to."
"Good. More fish for us."
Yohji didn't bother to turn around to see if Schuldig was serious about it. Was he growing tired of fish? He could drop by town to get some food, maybe get groceries, he can cook, that's the least he could do-
Yohji. Not too loud. Okay?
I'm really seriously considering getting a hotel, Schu.
And then, Schuldig suddenly hugged him from behind. It was in those first few moments when the clouds seemed to clear.
Yohji's mind was blank with surprise and Schuldig was basking in its every second. He could feel the redhead's pain easing off a little. He smiled, putting his own hands over the other's and not knowing what to think, preferred that things stay that way, if only for a while.