AN: Almost done. One more chapter after this. I am so sorry about the crazy and inconsistent posting schedule, stupid real life. But that does raise an interesting point I have been thinking about, and I would love any feedback you guys have about my usual posting schedule. My stories are always complete when I start posting, I tried a WIP once and that didn't end well, so I can post new chapters whenever I want. I usually post a new chapter every day. My stories are pretty long, I don't think I could write a short story if my life depended on it, so that means usually two to three weeks of daily updates, which suddenly seems like a lot to take in all at once. Would it be better to put a couple of days between chapters, give people time to actually read before getting new stuff, or do you like the chapter a day that I usually stick to? Any ideas, thoughts, concerns, comments; please let me know. Otherwise, enough of my ramblings. On to the show.
Once again I reiterate I have no medical training whatsoever. This chapter deals with medical situations. I have no idea if they are realistic or not, although I tried my best to be as accurate as possible. I researched what I could, made up what I couldn't, and painted the whole thing with creative vision.
Warnings and disclaimer in Chapter 1. Enjoy.
"How are you doing?" Tara asked Joyce once the meal was finished. Joyce had tried to take Buffy upstairs to clean her up, but she wouldn't relinquish the firm grip she had on her Watcher. Eventually, once Giles had gotten his stomach to calm down, he had simply taken Buffy upstairs to clean her up himself, leaving Joyce to clean up the kitchen. Tara had volunteered to help with the cleanup while the others went back to researching. Joyce smiled tiredly at her.
"I'll be fine," she told her. "Just when you think you've seen it all, something like this comes out of nowhere."
"That's not an answer of how you're doing Joyce," Tara admonished slightly. "That's how you want to be doing." Joyce stilled, eyes closed tightly.
"I don't know how I'm doing," she admitted reluctantly. "So much is happening now that I can't think about anything, much less sort out my feelings." Tara nodded in understanding.
"If you need anything," she offered as she began clearing the table once again. Joyce smiled at her.
"I know. Thank you." They worked quietly before Joyce glanced at the clock. "Oh my God. Dawn's going to be late for school."
"No," Tara told her. "It's Saturday."
"It is?" she checked. Tara nodded. "Oh God. Everything is just blurring together now."
"It's okay," Tara reassured her. "You can take as much time as you need. We can take care of everything around here."
"Thank you," she said, hugging the young woman tightly. After a few minutes she reluctantly pulled away.
"We'll be in the library if you need anything," she said as they finished cleaning up. "And we'll take the twins." Joyce nodded, pouring herself a cup of coffee as the young witch left the room. She sat down at the island, trying to get her mind to go blank when she heard the door knock. She opened it, surprised to see Ben on the other side.
"That was quick," she said as she turned back to the kitchen. Ben followed her.
"I was in the neighborhood," he shrugged. She knew it was a lie but let it go.
"Can I get you some breakfast?" she asked. He shook his head.
"I'll take some coffee if you have some," he compromised. She nodded, quickly preparing him a cup. They sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes, each sipping quietly. "You said she threw up?" Ben finally asked.
"Yes," she nodded her head, "but I think she's been nauseous for a while now. I think that's why she's not eating. At least that's what Rupert thinks. And he knows her better than I do right now." That last part was said with some venom. He looked her over critically.
"Are you okay?" She shrugged.
"Just some Watcher/Slayer stuff I don't understand," she told him, explaining briefly what Rupert told everybody. "I guess I'm a little jealous. I've always been Buffy's favorite, and suddenly he is." He smiled at her.
"I thought you wanted her to start reaching out to the others?" She glared at him.
"Of course I said that," she argued, "but I didn't really mean it. No mother does." He smiled knowingly just as Giles walked back in. He looked just as disheveled as before.
"Morning," he greeted as he made his way to the coffeepot. Ben raised his eyebrows in surprise. "It's a coffee morning," he explained briefly.
"Ah," Ben agreed as he took another sip of his brew. Joyce, however, was looking at Giles critically.
"I thought you were nauseous?" she asked him.
"Buffy was nauseous," he corrected. "She is also currently sleeping, which apparently translates into my symptoms going away."
"How exactly does that work?" Ben asked. "Joyce was trying to explain it to me. You feel everything she does?" Giles shook his head.
"I'm not entirely sure myself," he explained, "which is why it is one of the many things we are currently researching. I was able to feel her fear last night, but since then the feelings have been fading. I'm not sure why."
"But you felt them during breakfast," Joyce argued. Giles nodded.
"But they were still a shadow of what I felt last night," he countered.
"But you actually felt her nausea?" Ben asked. Giles nodded. "So you can feel her physical discomfort?"
"No," Giles shook his head. "It's not that straightforward. I don't think she, herself, understood what she was feeling. Even I wasn't sure until she started vomiting."
"How can she not know?" Joyce asked in exasperation.
"Remember we still don't know exactly where she regains feeling," Ben started explaining. "It's possible she can't actually feel her stomach reactions and instead she feels some sort of second hand symptom that she can't identify." He let that sink in for a minute before continuing. "Also we've never been able to fully rule out the possibility of brain damage." Joyce closed her eyes, desperately trying to keep the tears at bay. Many times It was too easy to forget the challenges Buffy had, but times like this brought them sharply into focus.
"What do we do?" she asked meekly. Ben sighed, taking the last sip of his drink.
"Don't let it get this bad again," he told them, "but this isn't entirely unexpected. I've been worried something like this would happen since she hasn't been gaining weight like I hoped."
"Something like what?" Giles asked.
"Nausea is a very common side effect for many of the medications Buffy is taking," he explained. "It's tricky finding the right combination that lets the medicine do its job without adversely harming the patient. Sometimes it takes years to get the right mix. If she has been feeling nauseous this whole time it's likely due to her medication. We'll try a different dose. I'd also like to check the wound on her neck, just to make sure there's no infection. That is the last thing she needs right now."
"She's upstairs," Giles said, leading them out of the kitchen.
"I've got a couple of IVs you can use to give her some nutrients for the next few days," he told them as he grabbed his bag and followed them upstairs. "If the nausea is this bad it will probably take a few days for it to clear up." Joyce nodded and quietly knocked on Buffy's door before pushing it open only to find an empty bed.
"Rupert?" she asked as she completely entered the room. She quickly checked the bathroom, but knew immediately that Buffy wasn't there.
"She was sleeping," he told them.
"Not anymore," she said. She turned to him. "Can you feel her?"
"I'm not a bloody homing pigeon," he grumbled, doing the same checks she just did. He stood in the middle of the empty room, concentrating. "Ethan."
"She went to him again?" Joyce asked, as she led them out of the room. Giles shrugged.
"I don't know, but she's still drawn to him, for whatever reason."
"But not necessarily a bad one." She stopped abruptly, so quickly that they almost ran into her, and turned to face him. "Do you think it could be coincidence that he came here just when she started feeling sick?" Giles shook his head.
"He was sent here by the Powers," he thought out loud, "but I no longer think he has anything to do with her illness." He stepped past her and hurried into the library, fully expecting to find her wheelchair at one of the tables. "She's not here," he said as he took in the group researching.
"Who's not here Ripper?" Ethan asked, glad for the distraction. Giles sighed.
"Buffy," Joyce explained. "She's not in her room."
"And you immediately thought I kidnapped her?" Ethan asked, sighing dramatically. "What is it going to take for you to understand I am not going to hurt her?"
"More time than we have right now," he told him, leaving the library. They searched the rooms on the ground floor without any sight of her. Finally, they went down into the basement, where they could hear Spike snarling.
"Buffy," her mother admonished as soon as she saw her. Buffy was sitting next to the bars as close to Spike as she could. Spike was trying to get to her, while at the same time trying to stay away. He was so conflicted his face kept changing back and forth, which accounted for the snarls they heard. Buffy turned when they called out, but quickly turned back to Spike. "Buffy, we need to talk," Joyce told her. She put her hand on Buffy's shoulder. Buffy turned to face her, unable to hide the fear in her eyes. Joyce looked to Giles helplessly.
"Buffy," Giles repeated, pulling her chair slightly so he could crouch down in front of her. "There is no reason to fear your mother." She just looked at him in uncertainty. "Can we go somewhere and talk?" he asked her as Spike once again lunged for them, rattling the chains and howling at the top of his lungs. Buffy looked back at the vampire once again and nodded, but instead of letting them push her she wheeled herself over to the side of the basement. A place where she still had a good view of the vampire. Joyce looked to Giles as they headed over, but he could only shrug.
"And I thought I had problems," Ben said as he took in the nearly feral vampire. "What's going on here?" he asked, as he followed them to the other side of the room.
"The first of many problems we got when Ethan showed up," Giles told him.
"Hmmm." Ben studied the vampire for a few minutes. "Is he going to get better?"
"Well," Giles stuttered when Buffy shot him a piercing look. He took his glasses off and cleaned them as he studied her. It was the intense look of the Slayer which had been missing since she returned. "He's being affected by a spell," he decided on a quick explanation for both of them, as he realized this was the first time Buffy had seen Spike's demon form since being back. "We expect the spell to run its course tonight and think he will be back to normal tomorrow."
"Well, I have some heavy duty tranquilizers if you need them," Ben offered. Giles nodded, but his focus was on the girl in front of him. After his explanation she turned back to the vampire, face blank so he couldn't tell what she was thinking.
"Buffy?" she turned to face him again. "He will be fine. We're helping him." She processed that for a minute before smiling slightly. Giles automatically returned it, stepping aside so Joyce could take his place.
"Buffy?" she called quietly as she pulled up a chair to sit in front of her daughter. She reached out to brush a strand of hair back behind her ear. Buffy sat stiffly while she did. Joyce sighed. "I think we need to have a talk. A real talk. I just wish I knew you understood me." She looked heavenward in exasperation and didn't see Buffy slowly reach out a hand until she gripped her mother's hand tightly. Joyce immediately looked down at their entwined fingers before looking at her daughter. Buffy held her gaze then nodded slowly, which caused Joyce to smile sincerely. "Now this is a serious, grown-up talk." Buffy nodded again. "About staying healthy." Buffy looked down at her lap, but nodded again.
"You didn't do anything wrong," Giles quickly reassured her. She looked up again.
"Yes you did," Joyce countered. They both looked over to her, but she focused on her daughter. "You didn't tell me you were sick." Buffy looked back down, but Joyce reached over and gently lifted her chin until she was looking at her again. "Part of growing up is doing things you don't want to do. Telling us you're sick, even if it means a trip to the hospital, is one of them." Buffy shuddered at the thought of the hospital, but Joyce refused to let her look away. "I love you too much to let you waste away. And I will do whatever it takes to keep you healthy and happy, even if you don't want me to." Buffy reluctantly nodded.
"She wants to believe you," Giles said cautiously, "but she's not sure she can." Joyce sighed.
"I love you more than life itself," she told her daughter, resisting the urge to gather her in her arms. "When I force you to do something, especially if it's something you don't want to do, it's because I love you. And I need you to do it because I hope you love me, and not because that man tells you to." Buffy looked up, tears forming in the corners of her eyes as she studied her mother's face intently. She hesitantly reached out and Joyce couldn't resist any longer. She scooped her daughter up and settled her in her lap, cradling her body as both women started crying. They held each other tightly until the sobs subsided. Buffy broke the hug first, shifting position to lean on her mother but making no move to leave her lap, which Joyce happily accommodated. "Are we good?" she tearfully asked. Buffy nodded enthusiastically.
"She no longer fears you," Giles said, sounding strained. Joyce looked over to him, to find him concentrating deeply on them.
"Anything wrong?" she asked. He shook his head, but didn't look any less confused.
"I can no longer feel her emotions," he said perplexed. "I could feel her fear and confusion about you, but when you reconciled, all feelings from her have disappeared."
"Is that good or bad?" Ben asked, breaking his silence for the first time.
"I'm not sure," Giles told them. He studied them intently.
"She still has feelings," Joyce told them certainly, holding her daughter tightly.
"Of course," Giles replied, smiling slightly at the scene. Ben gave them a few minutes before approaching the pair.
"Hey Buffy," he greeted cheerfully. He knelt down so he was level with the pair. Buffy moved her head to watch him. "I hear you haven't been feeling so great these last few days." She shrugged. "I need you to be honest with me," he told her. "I promise I'll do my best to keep you out of the hospital, but I need your help to do that. Can you do that for me?" She nodded reluctantly, glancing at her mother.
"Do you want us to go?" she offered, sensing Buffy was getting uncomfortable. Buffy looked at her, then turned her head to Giles. She studied them for a minute before shaking her head. At the same time, she reached out to Giles, who quickly stepped over and took her hand. She turned back to Ben and nodded. He smiled gently at her.
"Okay. Does your tummy hurt?" he asked. She shook her head. "Do you feel sick?" She looked uncertainly at her mother.
"Like before," she explained, "when you were throwing up." Buffy thought for a minute before shaking her head.
"Are you hungry?" Ben asked as he made his notes. Buffy quickly shook her head. "What about after you eat? Do you feel sick then?" Buffy looked down and shrugged. "Sometimes?" Ben prompted. Buffy looked up and nodded while Ben made notes. "How about your head? Does it hurt?" Buffy nodded. "What about your arms and hands? Your back? Do any of these hurt?" Buffy shook her head. Ben studied his notes. "Are you sleeping okay?" Buffy shrugged.
"Buffy," Joyce admonished, barely suppressing the urge to roll her eyes. She looked up guiltily before shaking her head.
"Is it nightmares?" Ben asked. Buffy shrugged. He looked to her parents for guidance.
"She doesn't sleep much right now," Joyce said. She had become intimately familiar with Buffy's sleeping patterns during their visit to LA. "But it isn't the same as nightmares. It's almost like she just can't fall asleep. And even when she does have nightmares right now, they're not as intense as they usually are."
"I actually think they are prophetic dreams," Giles told them quietly. "They started right before Willow arrived and the events that have since taken place are similar to large scale events her prophetic dreams usually warn about."
"Prophetic?" Ben asked, before something else caught his attention. "Willow?"
"Long story," Giles shrugged. Ben nodded. "We were also told indirectly that her nightmares were, in fact, prophetic Slayer dreams."
"And she wasn't able to tell the difference," Joyce added, remembering the conversation with Ethan that started this whole mess.
"Either way she needs to sleep," Ben said, before turning back to Buffy. "Do you have any trouble falling asleep?" She shrugged so he tried a different question. "Do you lie awake in your bed just staring at the ceiling?" She glanced at her mother before nodding. "Are you tired right now?" She shrugged. "Do you want to go to bed?" Shake. "But you're tired." She reluctantly nodded.
"And we're officially in the terrible twos again," Joyce joked, but she smiled down lovingly at her daughter, who took the opportunity to snuggle closer.
"Good luck with that," Ben said as he studied his notes. After a few minutes he looked up at them. "The good news is that all of these are symptoms of the various medications we have her on. Once we get the right dosages and combinations most of these should go away."
"Until then you have to be honest about how you're feeling," Joyce admonished. Buffy guiltily looked away, but nodded a few seconds later.
"Right," Ben said, putting his notebook away and rooting through his bag. "I want to draw some blood and have a look at those bite marks." Buffy sat up straighter, one hand gently feeling the bandage while the other pointed to Spike. She looked at her Watcher curiously.
"Spike didn't do that," Giles said as Ben moved in with his needle. Both women had become so accustomed to needles that neither one of them flinched. Buffy pointed again and Giles sighed. "Yes a vampire did that."
"Spike saved you," her mother said as Ben started undressing the wound. When it was uncovered he let Buffy briefly explore it with her fingers before cleaning and re-bandaging.
"No sign of infection," he said as he taped the gauze down. "That's good. The blood work will tell us for sure if there's any infection, but I don't think it's likely at this point." He smiled down at them as he carefully packed the vial into his case. "Now I want to start some IV treatments again," he told them, "just until we get you back onto solid food." Buffy dutifully raised her arm and Ben expertly hooked up the IV while Giles went to get the pole attachment for the wheelchair. "There's one more thing," he told them once everything was set up. "I'm going to give you something to help settle your stomach, but you have to promise me you'll try to eat something." Buffy looked to her mother reluctantly.
"I promise you can stop if you start feeling sick," she compromised. She thought about it for a minute before nodding.
"Great," Ben smiled, before pulling out another syringe and vial. He measured a dose then deftly injected it into her IV. "It should take full effect within an hour. Nothing heavy. Broth and crackers, maybe some ginger ale to help settle her stomach." Giles nodded as he gathered his supplies. "I have a couple extra IV's I'll leave behind. One in the morning and one at night before bed," he instructed.
"What about her medication?" Giles asked as he took the bags Ben offered him.
"Keep it the same for right now," he instructed. "I'll look into changing it when I get back to my office. As soon as I have something I'll bring it by or have Abby bring it by. Hopefully tonight, but no later than tomorrow evening." Giles nodded as he led the doctor out of the room. Joyce looked down at Buffy.
"So what do you want to do now?" she asked. Buffy pointed to Spike, but kept a firm grip on her mother. "I couldn't agree more. We haven't been here for him have we?" Buffy shook her head and Joyce smiled before looking around the room. "Wait here." Buffy nodded and reluctantly moved back to her wheelchair while Joyce stood and moved over to the small couch on the far side of the room. After several minutes of pulling she moved the couch into position in front of the bars. Buffy smiled, unlocked the brakes and wheeled over. "Phew," Joyce said as she flung herself onto the couch, "that was heavier than it looked." Buffy smiled, locked the chair, and moved herself onto the couch. After a few minutes she was settled comfortably in her mother's arms. Joyce smiled, looking up in time to see Spike watching them affectionately before his demon rose again.