Disclaimer: I own nothing of RWBY.
Merlot
By: Imyoshi
After the ceremony, after the screams and cheers, and after the entire headache inducing trauma, Jaune Arc and his team finally reach their room for the night, immediately noticing the lack of everything but the bare essentials. Only beds and blank walls stood to greet Team ALRN. Doesn't stop their sugar fueled teammate from rushing forward and claiming the bed nearest the wall. Jumping on the poor furniture like a mad woman whose basic instinct was to jump on everything.
Jaune doesn't need something to tell him Ruby's not going to be the only emotional outpost for him to lean on and feed off. At least Ren seemed to be the exact opposite and his own personal oasis in this desert of emotions and bone crushing hugs. Although, who knows how long someone can stay sane with two overly active teammates bombarding them in a never-ending rainstorm of emotions and smiles. Sanity's a gift and rationality's a curse.
Beating the urge to roll his eyes, Jaune's eyes flickered over towards the bathroom door at the side, finding his mind focused solely on one task—to find a mirror. And fast. Not to wait and see Nora attempting to breaking her bed with all the consistent bouncing or watch her partner Ren and his misguided goal at subduing her. None of that frivolous nonsense for this Arc.
Excusing himself, he barely misses the crash from behind before shutting the door and flicking on the lights. Brightness burns his eyes from the sudden change in light and it takes a few seconds for them to adjust, but when they do, he almost lets out some emotion border lining on surprise and confused when he pulls down his hoodie. None of which actually make an appearance but his eyebrows do go up slightly from the moment he spots the bone like appendage attached to his neck.
Hearing about the strange feature on his neck and then seeing it are two totally different things. Just glancing at the sharp rows of teeth sticking out almost beckons some emotion. Obviously no such thing happens and Jaune's waiting for those dark whispers to return to guide him, to make any sense, yet, they're oddly quiet for once, even when he reaches out. No longer hanging over Jaune's shoulder or residing in every corner of his shadow. Perhaps the strange urges were cutting him some slack or it's still recovering from the onslaught of the emotions from the ceremony. Maybe his body is still getting used to all of this and hence the drape of urges to begin with?
All very possible answers and all very unanswerable questions. None of which seemed to be getting an answer any time soon.
Rubbing his fingers on his new attachment, Jaune blinks at the reflection in the mirror, just now noticing his true lack of emotion. His facial features show nothing and he feels nothing. No wonder Ruby kept her distance from him after their initiation, even when she tried to make it not that noticeable. Ironically, she forgot about his power to sense emotions. No matter how hard his partner tried to hide it, Jaune had picked on her hesitation and reluctance to be around the Arc alone the moment she breathed. And in another world, that would've crushed his spirits. Unfortunately for him this wasn't another world and he truly was a freak which his very own partner had trouble being around.
He didn't care.
Still, he can see why Ruby had such a problem being around him alone. That much is obvious. And unless he fixed this, just like the Death Stalker disaster, more future problems could sprout and ruin everything. What was everything if he's truly being honest with himself? He's not too sure, but he would rather avoid that option in the near future. Problems led only to irrationality and irrationality led to an early death. Jaune preferred not to die a second time. This only left the Arc one choice on the matter at hand—to practice faking his emotions.
Straightening his back, Jaune attempted to smile, and it worked for the first second. The next second had his grin plastered on a little too tight and made him look more psychotic than affectionate. Now he sees what Ruby saw. He tries to fix his mistake with a few more practice attempts and manages to finally get his traditional Jaune Arc smile down to a tee! Added with the boney armor on his neck and dead looking eyes of course, but beggars can't be choosers.
"Well, that's done." His eyes move over the rest of appearance, falling over a hole in his armor right on the dead center where his heart was. "Huh?"
Spotting the hole in his armor from when the Beowolf must've struck him and nicked his chest plate, Jaune calmly reached out and rested his hand over the hole in the metal, lightly taking the time to check the damage. A strange sensation reaches his hand and he lightly rested his fingers on the damaged iron, going from feeling something afoot to hearing something off, drumming offbeat in his ears.
Narrowing his eyes slightly, Jaune's voice loosened, "Is that... my heart? Why is it beating so... slowly?"
The sounds, the vibrations, even the thumps are all off tune.
Taking off his hoodie and armor in haste, one might actually mistake it for panic. That person would be dead wrong. Didn't matter, Jaune had already pulled off his hoodie and tossed the article of clothing away, eyes zeroing in on the new set of bones centered around the center of his chest. They're a set of ribs forming around his heart, white and just as durable as the bone appendage on his neck, wrapping around his torso and upper and lower to chest to meet up in the center. And when he touches them to get a feel, he's surprised he can feel how slow his heart was truly beating. Feel how cold his skin felt or how little it did to change his calm expression.
"What's happening to me? Is this what Aura supposed to do? Is this my semblance?" so many questions and no answers.
Trying to find some surviving warmth anywhere on his body, Jaune gives up and grips the sink, letting his hair fall with his head lowered. He's quiet, deathly quiet, taking his sweet time to get the information he's collected to truly sink in. By the time it does, he's neither sad nor happy, just eternally confused. Even more so when the dark whispers finally return from their absence, dropping a faint message, leaving it up to him whether to listen or not.
"There's no way I can hide this from my team forever." Jaune touches the mirror, shielding away his chest's reflection. "At least not my neck, but I should be able to hide this no problem. Might as well just get it over with and deal with it now rather than later."
Attempting another smile before getting out, Jaune glares at the faultiness of his try, wondering when smiling became an impossible challenge. Just moments ago he mastered the craft or so he thought. Damn it. Never has the idea of practicing his smile in the bathroom mirror seemed so downright silly.
Poking at the boney material, he runs his fingers along the substance, lacking any deluded ideas or perception. The simple fact about it, "This is gonna take some time."
Hate or sadness fails to reach him. Hints of indignation and ample loads of curiosity replace all the others. The rest are too useless. And then there's that hollow feeling in his chest, acting out.
Hunger is the first thing that comes to his mind. Hunger for what though, he's not entirely sure. Could be the negative emotions he felt earlier or perhaps an even stronger sensation he's failed to reach—failed to satisfy.
Knock! Knock!
"Jaune! Hurry up! I have to go and the hallway bathroom is too far away!"
Ruby Rose.
His partner and overall ball of sunshine whose emotions are sewed deeply into her sleeve, the perfect partner for an apathetic man and his monster like appearance and hunger for all things innocent and fearful.
"Give me a second, Rubes!" It's a lie. He's perfectly done already and doesn't need any more time to dillydally. Jaune just can't resist feeding off her squirming and desperation. An addiction he can't break.
Faking a smile—time to see if those whole five minutes practicing in the mirror paid off—he opens the door and is tackled out by a blur of rose petals. So much for smiling, anything would've been appeased the little reaper and her blatant regard for manners.
Grabbing his hoodie back off the floor after Ruby throws it out; Jaune forgoes his armor, just now seeing how his team has decorated the room. Posters hid the wall and a new set of crimson curtains have been added to their window. Even the bed sheets haven't been spared from the treatment with one sporting cookies and strawberries and the other with pancakes drenched in maple syrup. Only two beds remained free from their makeover and Jaune knows it is Ren and his.
"Whoa!" Nora's up his personal space, acting very Ruby like when she spots the thing on his neck. "What's that? It looks so amazing! Can I touch it?"
Jaune doesn't bother saying no as her finger has already made contact with his bone platting before he can stop her. No point now, "I think it's my semblance. I'm not too sure. Just got it today."
He leaves out the part that he just got his Aura today as well, seeing no reason to up their suspicions. Clearly Nora has none since her emotions are like a book to him. Ren's a little more apprehensive but accepts the explanation, even going so far to shoot Jaune an apologetic look for Nora's eccentric behavior. And Ruby's busy doing lady things in the bathroom, tired and mentally exhausted from such a long day. Jaune should know, he's felt her emotions from the minute they met in Emerald Forest.
Nora sees the rows of teeth near his neck, "Does it hurt? Can you feel when I poke you like this?" Poke!
Jaune tilts his heads, "No and yes."
Overjoyed, Nora pokes him again, clearly having fun at Jaune's expense. The whispers return and are amused at Nora's antics, which actually surprised the Arc for a split-second. Before he could ask, they're gone and Nora's being pulled away by Ren.
"Now, now, Nora, we should get ready to go to bed. Classes start tomorrow and I don't want you falling asleep in class." His tone leaves no room for argument, unless if Jaune decided to jump in. Of course he doesn't. "Sorry about that, Jaune."
Build up trust, "Hehe, no problems. We're a team."
It's impossible for Jaune to ignore the waves of pure love coming from the hyper girl as she mock salutes Ren and pokes Jaune's boney feature just one last time, "Okay, Ren! Time for bed! Goodnight, Fearless Leader! Don't let the bedbugs bite!"
She's in bed faster than Ruby can move, tucking herself greedily into her covers. Sleep takes her in seconds and Ren looks over his shoulder and nods his head at Jaune before venturing into his own bed for the night with Ruby already exiting the bathroom and tuckering herself in with a set of PJ's he never even saw her change into. In minutes Jaune's the last one left awake, not tired from the day's events at all. Unlike his team here who are tired from all the emotional stress of passing a test and fighting humanity's greatest threat, Jaune had energy to spare and emotions no longer weighed heavily down on him.
The urges have grown stronger from the lack of emotions bombarding him and he tries to get some sleep, hoping to put this day's events behind him. Sleep doesn't come through in the end and he's left lying in bed for over an hour before finally sitting up and looking out the crack of the currents Ruby's set up. The broken moon shines over his figure for a brief moment, and then he's already out the room before he can stop himself.
Jaune stops the seconds he closes the door, "Where am I going? What am I even doing? None of this is making any sense." Ignoring his own questions, Jaune pulls his hoodie over and his feet take him outside of Beacon to the courtyard and he basked in the broken moon's light.
His instincts rev up under the moonlight and he actually has to fight an urge to howl. Those dark whispers have return clearer than ever, nonetheless, no matter how clearer they become all, Jaune still can't make out much of the nonsense that comes forth. Only bits and pieces make some sense to him. Like the part where the whispers tell him to venture out to Emerald Forest. That he can clearly understand and still be completely tangled about.
By now he's figured out to not fight the murky voice, learning it's better to go along with the flow rather than fight the impossible. Just like with happened with the Death Stalker and his partner's killer curiosity. If he had tried to do what Ruby wanted, fight and be all heroic, the outcome would've been sorely different. And different wasn't always better. Not by a long shot.
Getting his fill of the moonlight, Jaune followed his instincts and stalked out of Beacon's courtyard, making it to Emerald Forest in a short time. There he steps into the forest and walks without a purpose. Without a direction or even sense of time. He doesn't get too far before he stumbles into a lone Beowolf who's sizing him up from behind a tree. That, however, doesn't last too long and they're both observing each other, feeling a kinship spring to life in their hollow chests. No emotion is shared. None of them has any to give. Neither needing such a worthless attachment weighing them down.
Fear is an emotion Jaune's had following him like his shadow his whole life. Now, without it, he's not too sure he misses that useless emotion and all the drawbacks that came alongside it. Nor does he miss any semblance of panic when he spots this Beowolf lurking before him. Emptiness is the only thing trailing his path now and the feeling leaves him incapable of caring. Incapable of anything but relating to his creature standing before him and all its magnificent form.
Truly, the last remnant of emotions he had died during the initiation.
"Hey," he does a small wave which alerts the Beowolf. Jaune immediately lowers his hoodie, remembering how this calmed down the Death Stalker. "Don't worry. See? We're the same... I think?"
Dropping its guard, the Beowolf lurks forward and hesitantly moves. Jaune sort of does the same, bringing his hand out to reach out and connect, only this time Ruby isn't here to spoil the fun. Resistance holds him back no longer and eventually his hand and the Grimm's skull touch. A jolt races through Jaune, alerting every cell in his body from the powerful sense of strength radiating from the simple sense of touch.
Definitely the same and that shattered the Arc's soul in two.
"Am I a monster?" The urges return and agrees with Jaune, fueling his confusion, trapping away bits of his soul. The Grimm before him only seals the deal when the Beowolf nestled its snout on Jaune's neck, sniffing its new companion. "... I'm a monster. Me? A monster?"
No force in Remnant can stop Jaune from taking a step back after uncovering the dark truth. Stripped of his emotions, the reality is impossible to deny, not consumed and blinded by blasted feelings that impair the senses. Parts of him—the remnants of his Arc pride—try to deny this unmanageable claim. A pointless struggle, one that cannot be stopped or denied any more than the sun setting and rising or humanity's forever fight against the Grimm. Speaking of the Grimm?
Recovering from his shock, Jaune's eyes widen a tiny bit when the Beowolf stands up on two feet to howl to the broken moon, standing a good three feet taller than Jaune. His eyes aren't drawn to anywhere else but the familiar set of ribs sticking out of the Grimm's blacken fur, making it difficult for Jaune to not notice the similarities. And an ache forms right at the center of his chest, masking surprise with subtle pain. Hiding doubt and acceptance in the same corner of his mind.
Destroying what's left of his innocence.
You're supposed to be dead! I saw you die! I saw you die.
What? What do you mean you saw me die?
It's exactly what I mean! I. Saw. You. Die. When that Beowolf tore apart your throat, I saw the life drain away from your eyes.
Those memories of Pyrrha accusing him of death only now make complete sense to him. Sure, before it cleared up the reason she abandoned him. Now there are new pieces of the puzzle he calls his life that have fallen onto his lap. Pieces he never even knew were missing, very less existed. Pieces he doesn't even know where to place. Connect. Cherish. Did the Beowolf that killed or attack him have something to do with his odd transformation? Seems like the most logical conclusion in a messed up sort of way. Kind of hard to refuse with the same boney features hitting him smack hard on the face.
Touching the bone on his neck, Jaune looks up to the broken moon, "I'm... a monster?" There's still a part of him that doesn't believe that, refusing to make the claim real. He holds desperately onto that small bubble of hope. Possibly wondering when it'll finally burst.
Rationality and irrationality. They've both abandoned him.
Suddenly both him and the Grimm stop whatever they're doing, looking off in a direction where a heavy load of anger and fear is being released. Far the sensation springs to life and the sweet taste of fears grabs at Jaune's eternal hunger. He can tell the Beowolf feels the same, licking its teeth at the mere thought of a tasty treat. By the time Jaune realizes this means that a human is nearby—since he's learned that Grimm do not have emotions—the Beowolf stops at the edge of a tree and looks back at Jaune with a sense of longing. A sense of pure trust coming from a creature of darkness and absolute hate.
Stuck at a crossroad, Jaune looks back towards Beacon Academy where his team is sleeping, wondering what they would do. However, the urges have returned with a full force and demand Jaune follow the Grimm and feast. It's a tear between his soul and this darkness in his heart, one he cannot win. Not now and maybe not even ever. Forever trapped in limbo of his body.
Every little thing just continues to make Jaune's heart hurt more and more and he wants the pain to simply stop. The hunger to go away! For his life to go back to normal! For him to be free of this terrible curse! None of which happens. Monty ignores him and the hunger building up his soul threatens to consume him whole. And when he closes his eyes, letting his head hang down under the broken moonlight, the small resistance of his humanity gets buried underneath the darkness dwelling inside him.
There's no getting around it.
He's a monster.
...
Running alongside the Beowolf to the source of emotional buildup, Jaune smirks into the run, surprised he's keeping up with the Grimm or the lack of tiredness reaching his lungs. Although, he's sure the darn thing is moving slow on purpose for his benefit, not its. Nonetheless, the gesture's appreciated. And before he knows it, two other Beowolves have joined them in their run, each one taking their sweet time at glaring at the human trending together with another of their kind. Somehow they don't attack him on the spot. Most likely due to his new companion growling out some order he cannot understand for the life of him. Helps his friend is twice the size of the other Beowolves.
Finally they reach the source of anxiety and Jaune has to hide behind a bush to stop and stare at the people dressed in white outfits that consisted of masks and a bloody panther etched on the back of their jacket. There are three of them, each of them have a broad weapon, and they seem positively frighten when the Beowolves jump out from the woods and lung at them. What they were doing in Emerald Forest at the dead of night is a bigger mystery to him than his powers. In the off corner Jaune can see other lower level Grimm turning into ash from being beaten by these people with deep gashes all over their bodies and the whispers urge him to go and drain the power before it's gone and wasted away in vast nothingness.
Can't say he's not tempted. His hunger is eating away at his soul like crazy. As a matter of fact, it's too much to bear and Jaune's sneaking up to the bodies, ignoring the Beowolves fighting the humans in the off distance. Maybe he would feel bad for passing them without helping, but those emotions died a long time ago. Plus he lacks a weapon and has no desire to help. No longer needing to keep up appearance for the sake of others.
Reaching the dying Beowolves, the urges tell him to reach out to consume and he does, kneeling down and seeing whatever's left of the ashes moving towards his outstretched hand. They hover into his sleeve and his boney neck, getting absorbed into the bones without delay. There are only three of them as well, and they were much weaker than the Beowolves fighting the humans back there or the Major Ursa he absorbed earlier, but he does feel a slight buildup of power in his body. Not much, but some.
Feeding off the fear those three humans are releasing; Jaune stands up to look over his shoulder and spots one of the Beowolves tear apart on one of the humans. Teeth rip through flesh and the man's cries are drowned out from the monster's growls. Another human makes the mistake to check up on his comrade and is taken by surprise from the same attack that apparently did Jaune in, a quick, devastating bite to the neck. The third hastily drops her weapon and makes a run for it, spotting Jaune from the corner of her eye. A sense of anger, hurt, and hatred overcomes her before joy replaces all of that and she's running towards him with an outstretched hand.
Shred!
Blood splatters on Jaune's emotionless face—no longer seeing the reason to hide his true self where nobody knows him—from a claw cutting through the female's back. She looks down at the deep gash and claw peeking out from her chest, afraid and scared. Blood slowly seeps down her white clothes, staining them with the same color as the symbol on her back. Even still, she pleads and reaches out for Jaune to help her, then her eyes fall on the bone fragment attached to Jaune's neck before the light in her eyes die and so do her emotions.
Then the Beowolf tears her in two, covering the forest floor in blood and gore. Jaune actually has to wipe away the blood stained on his cheek, liking the feeling of it on his skin but preferring not to have any on his person at all. The dark whispers agree with him, taking immense joy in all the power and fear they ate up... but it didn't quench that uncontrollable hunger in his soul. Satisfied it for now? Perhaps. But Jaune can still feel the hunger burn deep down. Resting and waiting for its next meal.
How absurd.
Troublesome or not though, the Arc has much bigger problems to handle, like the fact he just saw three people get killed by the Grimm and he didn't even bat an eye. Never had he wavered. Jaune had watched the random strangers die, refusing to offer a helping hand, breaking everything the Arc's stood for or the very reason he even bothered attending Beacon Academy.
What's the point now?
Hunter? Hero? What does it matter anymore?
Munch! Gnaw! Roar!
Hearing and noting his friends devour the humans, the Arc has to look away to keep his stomach in check. Monster or not, there's only so much he can handle before he loses his dinner. Emotions or lack of therefore can only shield him so much from a human's bones being torn apart in the jaws of a Beowolf. Blood may not have much of an effect on him, thank Monty, but he's always had a weak stomach. Time to leave before that becomes ever more apparent and he loses whatever standing he has with the Beowolves.
With a simple wave, he turns back towards Beacon, "I think I'll call it a night. Goodnight."
The two other Beowolves he never formally met stop him, instantly jumping in front of his person. They move around him, gnawing for a reaction. Doesn't last too long when the third Beowolf joins in and shields Jaune from its pack, growling even more utter nonsense for the Arc to listen. A lone minute passes between them and the Beowolves move towards Jaune, never once feeling any sort of fear coming off the strange human before them. The Grimm aren't even sure the human standing in front of them is one, lost to the strange hollowness of its soul. The death in his eyes. And the lack of emotions.
Jaune reassures them by bumping a fist on his neck's bone fragment but they're still skeptical and the dark whispers have returned to urge Jaune to fix the issue before it blooms. Tracing along the hesitation the Beowolves are showing, a spark burns inside Jaune's head and he promptly removes his hoodie for the Grimm to see his boney rib cage structure attached to his entire torso. The lack of fear only cinches it.
Pressing their snouts to his chest, the Beowolves smell the air of Death plaguing Jaune Arc and growl an affectionate roar, licking Jaune on the face before taking off into the vast forest with the remains of the humans still littering the forest floor. Only a single Beowolf stays behind to watch as Jaune moved across the battlefield and towards a crate he only now noticed. A weird logo of a snowflake encased the side of the crate, hardly grabbing Jaune's attention. Instead he's more focused on the contents of the crate, wondering what these people gave their pathetic lives for.
Imagine his lack of surprise when he finds crystals of all varieties and sizes inside. Colors covered all his vision and he slowly picks one up, remembering Weiss mentioning something along the words of Dust to Ruby during their first meeting. The glare from the shard glows in his hand and Jaune drops the Dust shard back in the crate, wondering what to do with the blasted thing.
Seemed like a total waste to abandon it. Yet he had little to no use for it.
Racking his brain for an idea, Jaune settles to push the crate into the forest and behind a large tree with a heavy bush, hiding the crate for now. Future uses might be needed and he never knows when it might come in handy. At least his new friend hasn't left him yet, finishing off the remains of the poor humans who fought and died. Better them than him.
Finished for now, he wipes his forehead free from sweat; trekking back into the Beowolf's feeding ground. There their eyes meet for the briefest of moments under the bloody grass and ominous moonlight, hiding this dark secret from the rest of Remnant forever. Time moves too slow and Jaune finally feels tired enough to sleep the day away.
"I gotta go now." That kinship is twice as strong when the Beowolf pounces forward and licks Jaune's face. "Haha! Come on! That tickles!" The Grimm stops, waiting on Jaune. "Gosh, you're a much friendlier Grimm than those other two."
Observing the Grimm tilting its head at him, Jaune feels compelled to bond with a creature that understood his pain. His hunger! His everything! Karma may be cruel, but not even Fate and Destiny can rob him of a faithful companion. And being surrounded around all this blood makes the Arc think having a friend will keep him from completely succumbing to the darkness brewing in his heart. Ironic since it's a Grimm. A creature of pure darkness and Death.
"Wanna be friends?" another lick. "Okay! Okay! How about a name?" Yet another lick, "You really are much friendlier than those other Grimm. I would call you friendlier, but that's not a name. At least not a good one. Not for a Grimm. How about a shorter version of that?" The Beowolf waits for Jaune, claws pressed to his chest in an eager fashion. The leader of Team ALRN pays no mind. "Hn... how about... Fend...er... Fenrir? Fenrir! I like that. What about you?"
The Grimm likes that as well, licking Jaune on the face once more.
...
Sneaking back into his team's room takes no effort. They're all knocked out from the day's events and both Ruby and Nora seem like heavy sleepers. Jaune might have to watch out for Ren in the future if he ever sneaks out again. Guy looks like a ninja while he sleeps. Always prepared and ready to strike at a moment's notice. A possible fatal flow for Jaune in the near future, him and his dark whispers agree.
Kicking off his shoes, Jaune pushed away the emotions his team released while they slept, not wanting any happy emotions to kill his satisfied hunger. Having his emotions stripped away but given the power to sense others is cruel beyond all reason. This must be what the Grimm feel on a daily basis? How troublesome and disturbing. Truly, truly cruel.
Lying down on his bed, Jaune sighed and turned his head over to glare at the moonlight peeking through the window. The emotionless orbs called his eyes leave his thoughts to wander free and think about his possible future. Nothing makes sense to him. Nothing! Death doesn't even impact his soul. Just recalling those humans getting torn to shreds didn't weaken Jaune's resolve, though if he was to guess, it did murder whatever remained of his humanity.
Humanity? What a strange word. So lack luster and useless to him. Humanity spoke of such high levels of trust and companionship between a race of animals. Jaune should know since he was once part of that very pack of people. Now he belonged nowhere but with the monsters that threatened humanity and it's very prime existence.
Meaning in essence he's a threat to humanity. But that's crazy. Right?
Doesn't matter. Not anymore.
Closing his eyes, Jaune's dark whispers numb the emotions pressing down all around them, allowing him to finally find peace for a short time in a school where he felt like a wolf in sheep's clothing.
Author Notes: This is not a happy story. Anyone expecting otherwise will be sorely disappointed.