Sorry, I repeted a chapter! My mistake, had to try and break it up a little because I wrote it all as one chapter! silly me. Thanks for reading, leave your feedback and ideas/ Thanks.

Chapter 5

Jen couldn't help but think about what Ester had said back at the hospitle as she was driving. 'She's with me' ran though her head all the way there. Tilly hadn't really realised she was actually in the car with Jen. She didnt take much notice to where she was, or what she was even doing her mind was set on her friends. Some who were dead and others who were injured.

Tilly didnt realise she was actually speaking in the jeep, she just came out with it. Jen thought she was talking to her at first but she wasnt. I'm so sorry, I am sorry for arguing with you before. I shouldnt of said you wernt my best friend Maddie because you are and I love you, I love you no matter what you said to Ester. I was wrong to stick up for her. I'm sorry just please, please forgive me. Oh I wish it could have been me, I wish it was me instead of you Maddie, you were such a good person, you had everything she carried on apolizing again and again. Then she started talking to Neil, how good of a friend he was and how much she loved him. Until Jen placed her hand over Tillys. Causing her to jump and look around puzzled to Jen. ''Its alright Tilly, I'm taking you back to Dianes'' said Jen. ''No, I can't leave I should be back there, with my friends'' said Tilly still looking puzzled at Jen who had tears running down her face of the words Tilly was saying to herself before. ''Tilly, there alright Sinaed and George are ok'' said Jen.

When they returned back to Dianes Jen guided Tilly inside and sat her on the sofa. Tilly was just rocking back and forth fiddling with her fingers. How much she regretted that night with Maddie now was getting to her, a lot. It made her feel like it was all her fault like she was to blame. And Jen couldn't just sit there and watch it. Jen sat down right beside Tilly and brought her close. Tilly rested her head onto Jen instantly feeling safe in her arms. ''Tilly, none of this is your fault it was an accidant it couldn't have been prevented'' said Jen. ''But, I argued with her just before and now shes dead'' Tilly cried. ''Tilly, she knew how good of a friend you were, you were always there when she needed you thats what friends are for'' said Jen. ''I should have been there, I left I went home'' said Tilly. ''I know, none of this is your fault though Tilly you need to understand that'' said Jen.

Tilly sat under Jens arms silently, Jen stroked her face over and over. Jen just wanted to be there for her, make sure she was going to be ok. She'd been through enough to last her a lifetime. Loosing close friends can depress you forever if you think it's your fault. Tilly sat there for about a hour before she started to work herself around. ''I need to go, I shouldn't be here'' said Tilly beginning to stand up. ''Tilly, your not going anywhere. I'm here for you'' said Jen. ''I just need to go see Ester, I was harsh to her before making her belive it was her fault she must feel arwful'' said Tilly.

There it was again, Esters name. Which was beginning to pop up into conversations way to much for Jens liking. ''Tilly, you can see her when your feeling up to it and its getting late you should get some sleep'' said Jen holding onto Jens hand. Tilly just nodded. Jen went upstairs to sort Tilly one of her oversized shirts out for bed and came back downstairs. ''Heres some shorts and a shirt for you to wear'' said Jen. ''I should just go home, theres no room here Diane will be back with Sinaed soon'' said Tilly. ''You can share my room Tilly, you can't be alone right now'' said Jen. Tilly agreed and followed her upstairs.

Jen sat up as Tilly made her way into the bed, Tilly placed her head on Jens stomach as Jen placed her hand on her face. Again they lay there silently. Until both Jen and Tilly fell asleep. With Tilly still in Jens arms. This is what she needed. Jen was right, if she'd of went home she'd proberly have been up all night blaming herself for her friends deaths.

About a hour and a half later Tillys phone started to ring. Jen woke up straight away to notice it was Tillys phone what was ringing. It was Ester. So Jen woke Tilly up and answered the phone for her.

Yeah?

Tilly, Its more bad news. Jono, he's dead.

Noooooooo

I'm sorry Tilly, I really am him and Ruby were outside and he just died

Bye Ester.

Tilly again sat and craved in Jens arms. Jen didnt want to ask what else was wrong but she knew as soon as Tilly was ready she'd talk to her. After about 15 minutes of cradling in Jens arms Tilly sat up. ''Jonos dead'' said Tilly. ''Jono? he wasnt even at the hospitle'' Jen said confused. ''Him and ruby were sat outside and he just died'' said Tilly.

All of this was way to much for someone so young to take in at once. But Jen was there, throughout the whole night. Holding Tilly when she most needed her, and Tilly was greatful so greatful. She didnt think she'd of ever been able to get through all of this without Jen. But she knew it wasn't fare on Ester either way. Even if she didnt like her that way, even if she hadn't kissed her since they'd got together. It was still moraly wrong which ever way she she was in. So when Jen fell asleep, Tilly unwravelled herself from Jens arms and made her way downstairs to sleep the rest of the night on the sofa. She did regret it, of course she did she wanted nothing more than to be laying there with Jen but she wasnt like that. Not until Tilly had ended things with Ester that was for right.

Jen awoke without Tilly in sight. She instantly panicked, she ran and checked the bathroom and then ran downstairs to see Tilly sleeping peicefully on the sofa. Now Jen knew Tilly must have been seeing Ester otherwise she would have just stayed in bed for the night. It didnt bother her that she'd got out of bed because if she was seeing Ester it was the right thing to do it just hurt her to know that Tilly had moved on so quickly.

Jen made herself and Tilly a coffee and then made her way over to the sofa to wake her. Surly Tilly would want to get herself back to the hospitle to see Sinaed and George. Jen lightly moved Tilly a couple of times until her eyes started flickering, Tilly yawned and sat herself up with a little stretch. Jen handed over the coffee to Tilly and sat down beside her. ''How you feeling?'' Jen asked. ''Better than yesterday. Thanks for what you did it means a lot'' replied Tilly. ''Did you not feel comfortable upstairs?'' Jen asked concerned. ''Yeah, more than ever'' Tilly smiled. ''But, its complicated and sleeping down here was the right thing to do'' said Tilly. Jen just smiled. ''You and Ester ey?'' Jen smiled. ''Don't worry, i'm happy for you all I want is for you to be happy Tilly I hope you know that'' added Jen. ''I know'' Tilly nodded.

There it was, Tilly hadn't denied being in a relationship with Ester. Jen was telling the truth about just wanting Tilly to be happy but she didnt mean it when she said she was happy for them. Saying that made her want to kick herself more, more for letting Tilly get away in the first place.

''I should get going, Esters tried ringing quite a few times. Thanks again for last night Jen. I wouldn't have been able to cope without you'' Tilly smiled. ''Don't worry about it, always here when you need me Tilly'' replied Jen sadly.

Tilly changed into her clothing from the night before. Leaving Jens heart shattered behind. Tilly should have really told Jen that she never wanted to be with Ester, that she only ever wanted to be with Jen but, now wasn't a time Tilly could be shut down again.

Mabye writing a letter could work, that way she doesnt have to be face to face when being shut down again...