Chapter 2: Avoiding Repetition

It just wasn't fair.

Her first love left her because of the wolf in him, and now, ready to move on with someone who made her feel things she never thought she could feel so strongly, the vicious cycle was starting anew.

Willow wanted to lash out at the world and all its unfairness, kick and scream and make it hurt for all the bullshit she had to go through.

But not at Tara. Never Tara. This was not her fault.

Sweet, beautiful, soft Tara. Willow couldn't play the victim in Fate's cruel game when it was Tara herself who would suffer the most. Willow had seen Oz go from a quiet, gentle musician to a ravenous, primal beast and watched as each full moon slowly chipped away at his psyche. Tara, who was far quieter and gentler, why this would surely destroy her. And that was the most unfair thing of all.

She wanted to find Oz, and drag him back here, make him pay and make him fix what he'd done in any way possible. Impossible, as there was no way to contact Oz now, and even if there was, a cure was impossible. Even the so-called miracle technique he had learned in Tibet had obviously failed.

Tara choked back a sob, and Willow snapped back into reality, suddenly feeling guilty.

A minute or three had passed since Tara's revelation, and Willow had fallen silent, her expressions showing the pain and hurt inside. Tara of course, misinterpreted it.

"I-I'll go." Why was she making a move to leave? Wasn't this her dorm room? "I-I'll leave you alone. You w-won't have to deal with this again."

The candle was slammed down on the desk, and Willow reached out and grasped Tara's uninjured arm. "No," a deep, shuddering breath. "Tara, no. I told you. I love you. We can deal with this. I chose you, I love you."

"E-even with the w-w-w" she couldn't say the word.

"Of course even with the wolf!" she exclaimed.

"B-but you a-and Oz-"

Willow cut her off sternly. "I never stopped loving him because of the wolf. I never stopped loving him at all."

Tara looked down. "Oh."

"I stopped being in love with him after he left and refused to work through our problems. I stopped when a met a certain blue-eyed witch to love even more, but I was a dummy and it took me this long to realize it."

"Y-you're not a dummy," Tara murmured shyly.

"Yes, yes I am a dummy," she said. "If…if I admitted what I felt for you outright, y'know, like a normal person, there'd been no confusion and hurt-y feelings with Oz, and you wouldn't have gotten hurt," Her voice trailed off pitifully. "S'my fault."

Tara pulled her into a hug, a quick motion that meant she had powered through her shy nervousness to do so. "You're not a dummy and this is notyour fault," she said sternly. "Okay?"

Willow sighed. "Okay. I promise I'm not a dummy, so long as you promise not to hide from me, okay? We can work through this, but it has to be together if we want this relationship to work. No brushing off problems as 'wolf stuff that I can't understand'," she sighed and leaned forward, forehead pressing against the other witch's. "Keep me involved. We can get through this, Tara, but please…don't hide from me." Oz had done so to her and it had hurt. But Tara? If Tara did the same, Willow had no idea what she'd do.

Tara felt hope well up inside of her. Willow still wanted her, despite what she was becoming. It wasn't even something she considered, hadn't even dared hope, yet here she was. "Can…can you show me? I don't, I mean, you know more about werewolves than I do right now."

Willow pulled back, smiling at her though her own eyes were still red-rimmed. "We have a while to go over things. Until the next full moon."

But then, a creeping realization settled in her bones. Hadn't it been a full moon when Oz bit her? She turned her head to the small calendar Tara kept at her workspace. The woman in her arms tensed as well.

"T-that's in less than a week."