All I have to say for this chapter is... IT FINALLY HAPPENS! So, enjoy, and pretty pretty please drop a review off my way? I had far too much fun writing this chapter, and I hope you all will have fun reading it...possibly enough fun to leave a review? *wink* Enjoy!
"You're absolutely sure that I won't die in this attempt?"
"I do believe that my presence here today should be a suitable reassurance, but in the case that it isn't, don't fret. You simply can't kill yourself by exploring the depths of your consciousness. You may pass out for a while, or forget to breath momentarily, but that is why I will be standing by. I believe you're ready, Hermione," Severus added quietly, looking at Hermione intently. "Do as I said before; relax, breath deeply, and go into your meditative state. Since you described your psyche as a library, imagine searching for the very, very first shelf. When you open the first book, imagine diving into it. Remember, it is your mind, and you can construct what you wish to make it easier to get to the center of your being."
Hermione nodded, and breathed in deeply. Exhaling, she looked up at Severus. "Wish me luck." She didn't necessarily think she needed luck, as she was quite sure she was ready to try, but it was nice to have Severus' reassurance anyways. It had been a couple days since seeing Harry, and she had spent most of her evenings meditating. Her mental perusals had served to give her a wider view of what had helped shape her as a person, and how. Hermione was sure she was ready to delve to the bottom and figure out what animal form her magic took.
Severus smirked at her, and watched as she closed her eyes and released the breath she was holding. Settling back in the chair, he kept a careful eye on her as he waited.
Hermione watched as the library in her mind constructed itself, shelf by shelf. The books that contained her memories flew onto the shelves, stacking themselves rather neatly. Striding towards one of the shelves, she picked out a book. The memory that flashed in front of her was one of her earliest; Christmas eve with her grandparents when she was five years old. Watching the memory, she felt a tinge of sadness; she missed her grandparents greatly.
Closing the book, she moved further down, stopping at the very first shelf. Scanning the shelves, she huffed in frustration as she opened the last book, only to find it was one of her looking blearily up at what she was almost sure was her parents faces soon after she had been born. Putting the book back, she nearly missed it, but something was there behind the memory of her as a newborn. Yes, there was definitely something there, and Hermione reached up to pull down a very old, tatted looked tome.
Grinning to herself, she realised this was it; the faintest trace of her very existence. Opening the book, she gasped slightly as a blinding white light enveloped her completely. Blinking, Hermione looked around, but she couldn't make out any definitive shapes in the swirling whitish gray space.
Smirking slightly at how dramatic her psyche was, she stared around, hoping to find something. Gradually, her eyes became used to the whiteness, and she realised that she was in some sort of large dome shape. Wonderingly, she waited patiently as more of her surroundings gradually slid into shape.
It rather looks like St. Paul's Cathedral. Hermione smiled when she realised she was in the Dome of St. Paul's Cathedral; it had been one of her favourite places after her parents took her there one summer. Feeling awed, Hermione cautiously walked around the room, looking up at the dull white walls. The beautiful intricacies and mosaics of the Dome were nearly impossible to make out, and Hermione lost herself in studying the walls for the mosaics that were so entrancing to her as a child.
Severus would enjoy visiting here, Hermione thought to herself with a smile. They both liked many of the same things, which is one of the reasons Hermione found herself so endeared to the snarky man. Never before had she been able to truly connect with someone who had equal or greater intellectual powers to her, and it was comforting to realise she didn't have to explain every word to fall from her mouth. The way his lips twitched as he held back a smile, the almost unnoticeable crinkle at the corners of his eyes when he was amused. Hermione smiled softly to herself as the small, seemingly insignificant things about the man she lived with came back to her. Remembering the intimate moments she had shared with Severus; when he had explained why he disappeared, how he'd supported her when Ron showed up on their doorstep. His ragged voice when he woke up in the mornings. Slowly, with increasing clarity, Hermione's jaw dropped as she realised what had happened to her. Somewhere along the lines she had started to more than just like Severus Snape.
A sudden flash of bright light interrupted her search, and Hermione whipped around, looking for the source. There was a pulsing silver orb in the middle of the room, she assumed that was the cause of the flash of light, and she moved forward to investigate. This must be it, she realised as she walked closer. The more she studied the silvery orb, the more she realised that it was swirling with her essence; the memories, thoughts, actions, instincts, and everything that made her real. Peering at it carefully, she fell back as something burst forth from the orb.
A silver otter bounded around her, and Hermione grinned at it. It was her Patronus, looking as happy as it ever did. Frowning slightly, she looked around again. Was that it? Her animagus couldn't be the same as her Patronus, it couldn't be that easy. The orb flashed again, and the otter vaporised.
Startled, Hermione turned to watch the orb. It pulsed again, and the solid circle started to change shapes. The lines blurred, and Hermione lost track of where they flowed. It flashed again, and she shielded her eyes subconsciously from the blast of light, and felt slightly sheepish for it. It was, after all, her own mind; she couldn't truly be blinded.
Opening her eyes, she blinked at the white shape, and waited for the brightness to dull some. What stood there instead of the orb surprised her. Where the orb had stood, there now sat what looked like a fox. Puzzled, Hermione stood up and approached the creature. The fox tilted its head, eying her with a coolly appraising look. Feeling slightly bemused at being looked at so intently by what was supposed to be herself, Hermione sat down in front of the fox.
It was fluffier than what she could recall about foxes, and for a minute she wondered if it was a small wolf. But then, out of nowhere, two words floated across her mind. Staring at the fox, she realised what it was. An arctic fox, or a white fox. Which certainly explained the overtly fluffy coat that was rather reminiscent of her hair, she mused as the fox stood up on all fours.
It eyed her again, the expression in its eyes changing from appraisal, to what looked like decisiveness. Before Hermione had time to consider what that meant, the fox leaped at her, mouth open. Hermione threw up an arm to protect her face out of instinct, and she was engulfed in the blinding whiteness of the fox, and then all was black.
Blinking slowly, Hermione opened an eye, feeling slightly dizzy after the brilliantly scintillating show of light inside her mind. Keeping her breathing even, she waited for her vision to stop blurring. Looking around, she recognised the foot of the couch, and slowly realised she must have been prostrated, as she remembered closing her eyes in a sitting position. Turning her head, she saw Severus sitting in his chair, and looking entirely smug, mixed with something that looked like pride. Before she could open her mouth to speak, Severus spoke.
"An arctic fox, eh? How...interesting."
Startled, Hermione looked down to see to small, white paws tucked under her. Standing quickly, she twirled around, trying to catch sight of her tail.
"A fox that acts peculiarly like a small terrier," Severus observed with dry amusement as he watched the medium sized fox spin around. Hermione stopped as she quickly realised how ridiculous she must have looked. Grinning sheepishly, she stopped and sat down, looking at Severus.
"Don't bare your teeth at me, impudent witch," Severus said with a smile when he saw Hermione snarling at him. Hermione stopped grinning when she realised that what was a smile to her had been more of a snarl to him. Flicking an ear, she stood up and quickly hopped into his lap.
Chuckling slightly at the antics of the white fox, Severus returned the stare the fox was giving him with equal intensity. Hermione looked into his eyes, and she felt a shudder flow through her body as she thought about her revelation that had occurred in the depths of her psyche. Severus had quickly become a very large part of her, and she didn't mind one bit. She didn't exactly know what to call it, but whatever it was felt absolutely, perfectly right, and Hermione knew that if she could choose, she would choose to spend the rest of her life with the man she was currently sitting on.
Grinning at him again before she remembered that wasn't what he saw, she hopped off and sat on the floor. Closing her eyes, she delved into her mind for the second time, and was relieved when it was much easier to get to the center. Eying the silver orb, she watched as it took the shape of her human form, and she bounded to it and was blinded again by the light as the shape engulfed her again.
Opening her eyes, she looked at Severus and smiled brightly as she stood up, in her human form once again.
"A fox," Severus drawled as Hermione walked over to him and settled herself in his lap. "How interesting. Most certainly not what I would have expected – though the bushy tail certainly amused me – but the more I think about it, the more it makes sense."
"If it helps, it's definitely not was I was expecting either, but I'm more than satisfied with it. It feels so...right."
"It usually does. It is the essence of your existence in animal form, after all," Severus replied rather dryly. "A fox is well known for its cunning, intellect, and slyness. And they can be playful as well as serious. Quiet, intuitive. It seems a good match."
"Yes, well, I'm quiet happy. It was such an informative experience too," Hermione added as she remembered what had happened. "Very...enlightening."
Severus eyed Hermione curiously as he noticed the odd tone she had spoken the last words in. "What exactly did you discover?"
Hermione shrugged lightly as she wrapped her arms around his neck. "It just made a few things very clear to me," she said as lightly as she could, but Severus caught the seriousness in her words, and looked at her intently. Hermione returned the gaze honestly, and was caught off guard by Severus' lips upon hers. Her surprise melting away almost instantly, she returned the kiss eagerly; twining her hands in his hair as he ran a hand lightly up her side.
Severus choked back a groan as he felt the witch instantly respond to his kiss by arching into him. Feeling ever internal war he had ever fought with himself over Hermione fade away, he pulled back, and looked into her eyes. Hermione returned the frank stare, and nodded slightly as she realised the question in his eyes. Severus exhaled in response, and crashed his lips against hers as he grabbed her hips, shifting her so that she was fully on top of him.
Moving his hands down to cup her arse, he stood up, and Hermione instantly wrapped her legs around his waist, never breaking the kiss. The witch was astoundingly light in his arms, and Severus was half tempted to blindly carry her up the stairs before he remembered that he was, in fact, a wizard. Reaching into his robes, he found his wand and hastily flicked it at the armchair as he kissed down Hermione's jawline.
Hermione pulled back, gasping for air as Severus let her down on the bed that had appeared beneath them. Breathing heavily, she watched as he removed his heavy back robes, and realised with some surprise that she should probably undress at least some of herself, as well. Bending down, she quickly divested her feet of their socks and shoes, and she stood up to undo her jeans, but was pushed back onto the bed before she could touch the buttons.
"No," Severus purred against the skin of her neck. "I want to undress you."
Shuddering slightly at the heavy lust in his words, Hermione nodded frantically, and leaned up meet his lips. Eagerly opening her mouth to his, her moan was lost in his mouth as he kissed her with an almost feverish hunger. Hermione reveled in the taste of him; the taste that was purely his, purely Severus. Groaning, she wrapped a leg around his waist, and Severus slid a hand down her thigh to cup behind her knee, drawing her leg up more.
Filled with a sudden desire to have her hands on his skin, Hermione fumbled for the buttons to his shirt; briefly contemplating simply ripping them off. Breathing hard, she broke the kiss to focus on her task, feeling herself quickly becoming distracted by the hand that massaged her hip and slid up her shirt. Hissing in annoyance, she yanked the shirt, ripping the last two buttons.
Severus chuckled at her excitement; he wasn't at all sorry to lose a few buttons at Hermione's expense. Tugging the shirt down, Severus complied with her movements and the shirt quickly found itself on the floor. Gasping appreciatively, Hermione placed both hands on his chest as she kissed him. Running her hands through the sparse hairs on his chest, she groaned as his tongue met hers.
Severus slid his hand under her shirt, enjoying the soft feel of her skin as he traveled up her side to cup her breast gently. Brushing his thumb over her cloth covered nipple, Hermione hissed and arched back as the action sent a thrill of pleasure straight to her groin. Pushing against his chest, she sat up and Severus quickly took the opportunity to nearly rip her shirt off.
Hermione stared up at him, and was nearly driven to the edge at the heated look of dark arousal in Severus's eyes. Grinning somewhat sheepishly up at him, she reached behind her and unhooked her bra, shrugging the garment off.
Leaning down quickly, Severus planted heated kisses down Hermione's neck before he reached the top of her breasts. Hermione whimpered as his hands cupped hear breasts, pinching her nipples, causing exquisite flashes of heat to travel to her center. Groaning, she arched up into him, reveling in the feel of their bare skin against each other.
Traveling further down, Severus let out a guttural groan as he took in the sight of Hermione's chest. Bending his head swiftly, he captured her nipple in his mouth, sucking on the tender flesh eagerly as his fingers teased the other into a hardened peak. Hermione let out a harsh moan at the sensations, and jerked her hips upwards in response.
Growling as Hermione ground up against his erection, Severus turned his attention to the other nipple, before moving to kiss her sternum. Sliding further down on the bed, he kissed his way down to her pants line, the heated touch sending goosebumps over her skin. Sliding his thumb under her pant line, he looked up at her, the heat of his desire burning like flames in his eyes. "What do you want?"
Hermione groaned in frustration; how and why the man thought she was actually capable of coherent speech was beyond her. Propping herself up on her elbows, she looked down at him, breathless. "I – you."
"You're going to have to be a bit more specific, Miss Granger," Severus replied delicately as he placed a lingering kiss on the sensitive flesh of her hipbone.
"You, Severus," Hermione breathed, the frustration evident in her tones. "I want you in me. Now."
Severus chuckled darkly as he quickly undid the buttons to her jeans, and slid them off her. Placing a kiss on her inner thigh, he stood back to unbutton his own pants. "Being rather demanding, aren't we?"
Hermione growled in response, and Severus bit back a smirk. "I think your wishes can be granted," he purred lightly against her skin.
Hooking a finger on the elastic band of her panties, he nearly tore them in his eagerness to take them off. Shrugging his pants down his legs, he kicked them off quickly and covered Hermione's body with his as he stooped to nibble under her jaw. Nudging her legs with his thigh, he quickly slid down her body, positioning himself between her legs.
Hermione realised in an instant what he was planning on doing, but that didn't prepare her for the stab of brilliant pleasure that coursed through her as Severus darted his tongue out. If it hadn't been for his Occlumency skills, Severus was sure he would have already finished in his pants by this point. Seeing Hermione come apart at his touch was enough to send him over the edge if he weren't keeping a tight control on his reactions.
Severus held Hermione's hips down as he tasted her, smirking to himself at the strangled noises Hermione was making. Moving one of her legs onto his shoulder, he settled down on his elbows and began to experiment, licking and sucking as he followed the not so subtle cues her body was giving him. He never quite understood why people were repulsed by pleasuring a witch like this; he had never had a bad experience with it and it had never really occurred to him that he shouldn't do this. It was enjoyable to him, seeing what reactions his touch elicited, and knowing it was him causing those reactions.
Hermione ran her fingers through his hair, gripping almost painfully at his scalp as she struggled to restrain her cries. Severus pressed down on her bucking hips, keeping her still so he could focus on what he was doing. He could feel Hermione trembling, and he raised his head to stare at her. "Let it go, Hermione," he purred as he lowered his head again. "Come for me."
Hermione shuddered as his breath caressed her, the husky, lascivious tones sending her over the edge. Severus continued his ministrations at a gentler pace as Hermione's body was wracked with spasms, her orgasm rushing through her. Severus waited patiently for her to come down, watching her chest heave as she gasped for breath and tried to regain a semblance of her sanity. Feeling rather smug, Severus quickly moved up, covering her body with his as she hooked a leg around his back.
Hermione gasped at the feeling of his rather impressive erection pressed flush against her quivering center. Rolling her hips experimentally, she smirked at the look of restrained pleasure on Severus's face. Sliding a hand down between them, Severus lightly teased Hermione, bringing her closer to the brink of ecstasy with every movement.
Through the fog of pleasure, Hermione felt a stab of reason. "Protection?" she breathed weakly, unable to elaborate further. Severus got the point though, and nodded.
"I'm safe."
Biting her lip, Hermione relaxed. She trusted Severus more than enough to believe him, and she stared in wonderment up at Severus. Never in her life had she dreamed anything could feel this damned good. Ron had been a fumbling schoolboy compared to this, and Severus was only using the pads of his fingers. Exhaling harshly, she ground up against him, gripping his shoulder tightly. "Severus, please – I need you," she said frantically, "now, please, Severus."
Closing his eyes as she spoke his name, Severus aligned himself with her entrance, bringing a hand down to grip her thigh, spreading her wider. Forcing his eyes open, he stared down into her eyes as he slowly slid into her, gritting his teeth at the look of sheer ecstasy on her face. Arching up into him, Hermione stilled as she let herself get used to the feeling of him stretching her.
Severus felt her still, and froze. "Are you hurt?" he asked with concern, scanning her expression for any signs of discomfort.
"Hurt? Are you mental?" Hermione replied incredulously. "I don't think I've ever felt better in my life, Severus, but I will hex you if you don't start moving now," she growled the last word as she rotated her hips and flexed her walls around Severus experimentally in an attempt to get the friction she so desperately needed.
"Merlin, Hermione, don't do that," Severus said between clenched teeth as he fought to regain control of himself; her movements had nearly sent him over the edge. Hermione stilled as she waited for Severus before she let out a ragged moan as Severus started to move, thrusting in and out at an excruciatingly slow pace.
Tangling her hands in his hair, Hermione moved to match his pace, her moans growing louder as she neared her climax. "Oh gods, Severus..."
Hearing his name snapped the last of his self control, and Severus quickly abandoned the languorous pace, quickening it as his arousal heightened. Hermione bit her lip in pleasure as she struggled to meet every thrust, nearly drawing blood as she screamed in her mouth. Severus bent down quickly to capture her lips with his, and swallowed her moans as they kissed hungrily.
Arching her back, Hermione pulled away from the kiss and let out a tangle of insensible noises as she came with a shudder, the sensations traveling up and down her body as Severus continued to move through her orgasm, prolonging it. Hermione screwed her eyes shut as the waves of pleasure crashed over her repeatedly, teetering for a second on the brink of passing out from the intensity.
Severus snapped his head back as Hermione's walls tightened around him, and he gripped the sheets tightly as he came, trembling as the force of his release rendered him momentarily blind. Drawing in a ragged breath, he collapsed on top of Hermione, breathing heavily against her shoulder. Hermione slowly regained control of her limbs, and sighed contentedly as she enjoyed the weight of Severus pressed up against her.
It was a few minutes before Severus could collect enough of his shattered self to move, and he slid off Hermione slowly, and she groaned at the loss of warmth. Severus uttered a wandless spell, and a thick comforter appeared on top of them.
Hermione turned to look at him, at loss for words. She had never dreamt that sex could be that mind blowing, and she felt somewhat surprised that it was better than her mums romance novels had described. What she had felt with Ron was nothing to this; at the time she had brushed it off due to their mutual inexperience, but she knew that Ron would have never been capable of making her feel this way. "Wow."
Severus smirked at her, but didn't reply, moving instead to press himself against her, breathing in the scent of her hair as he flung an arm over her waist. Hermione nuzzled against him, and was rather pleased when she heard the sounds of Severus's light snoring almost immediately. What a change, she thought with a smirk. She was always the first to fall asleep. Yawning, she quickly realised how utterly knackered she felt, and gave in to the calls of sleep almost immediately.
*whew* well that was fun. Oh, just a warning for the next chapter, Ron is going to *seem* like a really, really bad guy. I really hate Ron, just saying. I know I haven't made that clear enough. ;)