TC Stark: Hello! So, wow this is a pretty long chapter. Seven chapters to be exact. I kind of got a head of myself lol I also just wanted to give you guys something very note worthy and full of substance. Thank you all who reviewed and complimented my writing. I like to be daring and challenge myself by writing about the hard to talk about subjects. Also, there are two quotes in here that I have labeled; I just love quotes and going along with the theme. Okay, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I only own Frankie, Clara, and my ideas.

Chapter Five

"And yes, I'll admit, I am jealous. I'm jealous of every minute you spend with him, of every concerned expression you send his way, of every tear shed, of every glance, every touch, and every thought. I want to rip him to pieces and purge him from your mind and from your heart. But I can't." - Colleen Houck

There was a time when two people were completely in love. When all the obstacles of the outside world didn't pierce the love they had for each other. When all the hate that was around them didn't matter. There were days when they would just hold each other and dream about their future. A time when they wouldn't have to hide their love. When they believed that they were going to be together for the rest of their lives. Maybe one day they could marry and even have children together.

Yes, there was a time when Clara thought that her and Frankie were going to have that life together. It was bold for that time. No way a couple consisting of two females could survive over a long extended period of time. Maybe it worked while they were young, but how could it in the future? Eventually they would get older and what would they do? Move in with each other? They would receive looks and discrimination. Probably denied. They wouldn't be able to marry or have children.

But, none of that mattered because they loved each other. As long as they had each other, none of that mattered to them. They would battle against discrimination together. They both sincerely believed that no one else mattered. They were in love and found strength in each other. They found comfort in each other. They were survivors in a world that hated their kind.

Clara held onto her pillow and frowned. What had happened to Frankie? Why was the world so cruel that it would take such a beautiful soul and ruin it? Wasn't it enough that she had to be put through an asylum, for something that was perfectly natural? That she was forced to believe that she was sick and there was something wrong with her?

Clara wanted to cry. How cruel was it that Frankie was tortured? Electroshock-ed? She could remember the first time the blonde had told her about what had happened. She couldn't even wrap her head around the image. Who could possibly think that shocking someone's brain was safe? That it would somehow cure a person? They didn't know how it affected her mind. How much they were screwing with her life and her emotions. And because of it, she was engaged to a man.

"Parting is all we have of heaven and all we need of hell." - Emily Dickinson.

Frankie knew that Clara was upset. She could feel it. She knew that she wouldn't be able to comprehend what she had just learned. And she also knew that her former girlfriend wouldn't understand that she was engaged to a man. She would blame it on society. Blame it on her time in the asylum. Blame it on the electroshock therapy. She would refuse to believe that the world wasn't so black and white to her.

It was a feeling that she couldn't quite comprehend either. But, there was never any discriminating to her. It never mattered what the sex of who she was with was. It was about the person on the inside. Yes, she had been with more women than men. There weren't many she found attractive – on the inside. It was almost easier to just stay in the homosexual realm. But, it didn't mean she was any less gay or anymore straight. Just somewhere in between.

In 1948, Alfred Kinsey would release what would be called The Kinsey Scale in Sexual Behavior of the Human Male. It was a system to try and describe someone's sexuality. Zero meant exclusively heterosexual and six meant exclusively homosexual. Frankie would be considered a three – equally heterosexual and homosexual. She did not live and love in two discrete categories.

But, it was 1931 and there was nothing around during that time to describe who she was. So, of course it confused people. And of course it confused Clara, who was a six. She didn't understand being attracted to both sexes. Didn't understand just picking and choosing; going from one genitalia to another. And it wasn't just that, but also her hatred for the male population and what they had done to women like her.

Frankie sighed, while leaning over the bar counter at Blackwater. If only Clara could understand. It wasn't just Forrest's body who made him who he was. He wasn't just the physical. It was his whole being. Who he was on the inside. Who he was as a person. The aura surrounding him. The love came so deep from within her heart and soul that there were no words that she could use to describe how she felt. It literally exasperated her and she felt that any word she did use cheated him or anyone she spoke to. Nothing would be able to do it accurately.

But, all Clara could think of was the gender. Frankie held her forehead within her hand and felt a headache rolling in. She couldn't think about her anymore. It was literally doing her head in. It had only been four days and yet every day was spent thinking about the look of pity Clara had given her. It shouldn't have bothered her, but they had once promised each others' lives to each other. And she yearned to help her understand who she was.

"Frankie?"

While taking a pull of her cigarette, the blonde turned around to see that Maggie had moved beside her, in the back of the bar counter. It was slow that day. The only people who inhabited the space were the Bondurant brothers, a few of Howard's friends, and one older man who was enjoying a cup of coffee. Jack looked like he was scribbling a few things down on a piece of paper, while the oldest brother drank with his pals. Forrest was currently in the office busy with paperwork. Frankie knew they were going later to the club she used to work at, to make a large sale.

Forcing a smile, Frankie brushed away her thoughts before looking over, "Yea, Maggie?"

The redhead's perfectly manicured nails pinched the butt of her rolled cigarette, while observing, "You look like hell. Are you okay?"

"Maggie, anyone ever tell you that you have a way of making a girl feel special?" Frankie snickered with a wry smile. Of course she was teasing.

With a playful roll of her eyes, Maggie hip butt her friend and insisted, "You know what I mean."

Frankie gave her best smile and straightened her back up, "Just thinking about my parents I guess." She hated lying, especially to her friend, but she really didn't feel like admitting that her ex girlfriend was driving her crazy.

From the comforting smile she gave, the New Yorker guessed her friend either believed her lie or was just being polite, "You know, Frankie, we can't choose our parents. But, we can choose who we want to be our family."

The Blonde haired girl knew exactly what the other meant. And even though it hadn't a thing to do what was on her mind at the time, she still felt comfort. Knowing that they were all family made her forget the troubles of her past. She had escaped New York to start a new life and she had already found the people she wanted to spend her life with.

The door to the office opened and Forrest stepped out. Frankie took a pull of her cigarette, while watching the Immortal Bondurant head towards the bar. His eyebrows were furrowed in and there was a grim scowl on his face. If she could take a guess, she would say that he was in pain that day. His breathing was a little heavier than usual. It was what happened to a man who had faced death several times.

"Forrest, you don't look so good." Maggie observed.

Forrest let out a low grunt, as Frankie softly teased, "Don't worry she's been this observant all day."

Once again Maggie bumped Frankie's hip with her own, before grabbing the pot of coffee and going over to refill the older man's mug. The younger girl then turned back to the older man ans finally asked with concern, "Are you alright, Forrest?"

Letting out a labored breath, he sternly nodded before murmuring, "I'm just gonna go lie down. Didn't sleep much last night."

"That's because you need to get a new mattress." Frankie insisted. His mattress was very hard. She surmised it was pretty old and the only comfort she got at night was the fact that she usually slept atop his chest.

"It's just fine." Forrest grumbled. It wasn't the first time she had said something about a new mattress. He was a man who believed firmly in the serenity of preservation.

Still, she smiled and nodded, "Go up and rest. If anything, we have Jack here to protect us."

At the mention of his name, Jack lifted his head up and asked, "What?"

"Right? You'll be able to settle any problem?" Frankie grinned, while winking.

A rosy shade of pink colored the young man's cheeks, as Howard took a gulp of some moonshine and asked defensively, "Hey, what am I? Chopped liver?"

"Come on now, Howard." Forrest snorted, before trudging upstairs, causing his brother's friend to howl in laughter.

About an hour had passed before Forrest walked downstairs. He seemed a little more relieved, just determined to pour himself a cup of coffee. Frankie was pouring herself a cup, when he addressed her, "Howard and I are taking Jack to make a delivery to that club you used to work at. We might be a while, Howard usually wants to stay."

Howard may have took her once on a business transaction, but Forrest would never allow it. They may have been going to a club where people danced and had a good time, but he wasn't there to have fun. They had a large amount of moonshine on them as well as a good amount of cash. Having that on him made him a target and if something went wrong, he didn't want Frankie around.

After taking a sip of coffee, Frankie shrugged, "Don't worry about it. Maggie and I will have a grand ol' time tonight with some Apple Brandy."

Forrest gave a deep nod before taking his coffee and heading outside, presumably to smoke his cigar. As he walked away, Frankie could haven sworn she saw a hidden smile. It put one on her face knowing ghat she was cracking her way to the inside. He wasn't the kind of person who wore his personality on his sleeve, nor the one to express himself loudly, but there was no denying how much she drew her in. How happy and at peace she was, knowing they were each others.

"Hey, I'm gonna go out for a little bit. I'll be back." Jack then announced, while standing from his chair.

While in the middle of dealing cards, Howard warned, "Make sure you're back in time tonight."

Rolling his eyes, Jack groaned, "I know, Howard."

Setting his cards face down, Howard motioned for his younger brother to come closer. Once again he groaned and walked over. With a quick movement, he pulled Jack into a head lock and began ruffling up his hair. Instantly the older man's friends cackled and the younger one reeled back in frustration. Scowling, he fought to fix his hair while shouting, "Come on, Howard!"

"Oh, calm down, Jack." He snickered, while going back to his cards.

Jack growled while attempting to flatten his hair, as Frankie giggled, "Aw, poor Jack, he probably wanted to look good for Bertha. Don't worry, it'll get messed up anyway." She teased while making kissy faces.

It was at that that Howard howled in laughter, while Jack frowned, "Now don't you get on his side." He huffed, before walking out.

The laughter died down after that. Howard went on to play cards with his friends. Maggie read her magazine in between pouring coffee and Frankie cleaned around the room. The screen door then opened, signaling they had a new customer. Frankie picked her head up and had to stop herself from reacting. Maggie of course, being the polite woman she was; greeted, "Hello, miss."

Clara smiled politely as her blue eyes focused on Frankie. Howard stared at the new girl curiously, as she approached the counter, "What can I get you, honey?"

"Thank you, I'm actually here to see Frankie." She smiled politely.

Cracking an uncomfortable smile, Frankie insisted, "Come on, you're in Blackwater Station. You have to try the Apple Brandy. Much better than that bathtub shit we used to drink."

"Well, now that you pulled my leg." Clara smiled while nodding.

The Blonde smiled, while introducing, "Maggie, this is Clara Fontaine. She's a friend from New York."

Clara and Frankie locked eyes and the other girl understood that she was not to mention that they were exes. Clara smiled and nodded, quite politely. After a shake of the hands, the redheaded left to get the brandy. Howard had not missed the name introduction. And if his memory served him right, then be had just heard that the ex that got away in Frankie's life was in Blackwater. His ears perked up and be warily paid attention to what was being said.

"She seems nice." Clara referred to Maggie.

Frankie nodded, "Shes a sweetheart."

"Redheads aren't your taste."

She knew that her ex was attempting a joke. Frankie lightly snorted, amused, "Its not like that. Maggie is my friend. Like a sister to me."

As if on cue, Maggie came back with a mason jar if apple brandy. Clara smiled in gratitude, before the older woman walked away. After a sip, she let out a cough and expressed, "Wow. Well, its certainly a lot stronger than we used to drink. Ooh, there's the after taste. Very nice."

"I told you," Frankie smiled before asking, "How'd you get here?"

Clara gave a weak smile before explaining, "My sister dropped me off. She was a bit confused why I was going to Blackwater, but I said I needed to take care of something...I...wanted to say sorry for the way I acted the other day."

"Thank you. That means a lot to me."

"If you're in love and happy, that's all that matters."

Finally a genuine smile formed on Frankie's lips, "That's all I've been trying to say."

After taking another sip, Clara asked, "Was...was that him outside?"

"Yea. Let me introduce you. Then I'll drive you home, we can talk on the way."

Clara sucked in a large nervous breath, but ultimately smiled and nodded. Frankie capped the jar for her and led her from the bar. As they passed the oldest Bondurant, the Blonde turned and introduced, "Howard, I'd like you to meet an old friend of mine; Clara Fontaine."

Howard pulled his eyes from his cards and looked up at the new girl suspiciously. He wasn't sure if Frankie remembered telling him about her ex or not, but he remembered the name. To him, he was looking at her as a threat to his brother's happiness. He didn't want Forrest getting heart broken again. But, all Clara saw was discrimination. Hatred for girls like her, just like every man.

Still, she faked a smile for Frankie's sake ans greeted, "Nice to meet you."

Howard slowly nodded, keeping his guard up, "Yep."

His tone was not lost to Frankie, who raised an eyebrow at him. She wasn't sure why he was so defensively around her ex. She had thought after her first attack that he had lost his disgust for people like her. Shaking it off, she pulled Clara outside where Forrest was. The introduction was quick, but anyone could see the joy in Frankie's face. How happy she was to call him hers.

Forrest had been polite, only a few words rumbling from his mouth. His hat held against his chest. But, it could not stop Clara's heart from breaking in two. She felt her whole being shatter, as they shook hands. The realization that the love of her life was going to marry a man was proving too much for her. It took all of her strength not to cry. Somehow she kept her composure and left him thinking she actually liked him.

As Frankie drove away, Howard stepped out onto the porch. His hands were placed firmly on his hips and he spoke sternly, "You and I gonna have to talk about that girl Clara and who she is."

Frankie had arrived home several hours later. It felt good to speak with Clara and to have her understand. She felt like they had made progress and could actually be friends. It was important for her to get through to her ex. And it was also important for them to remain on a friendly basis. They had both been through so much and she was happy that everything worked out.

She was also happy that her mind could be clear. That she didn't have to worry about having her ex in town and knowing Clara would be upset. She could now just concentrate on what was most important and that was Forrest. Their relationship and their love. They hadn't spoken about the wedding and she didn't mind at all. They would just know when the right time was and it wouldn't have a thing to do with anyone else.

When Frankie had first driven into the compound, she saw Jack helping Forrest load up the truck. But, no Howard. It wasn't until she parked up near Blackwater that she saw him. Raising her eyebrow, she stepped out of the car and asked, "Hey, what are you doing here? I just passed Forrest and Jack loading up the truck."

"I'll be there in a minute," Howard drawled, while taking a gulp of moonshine, "I wanted to wait for you," after Frankie raised an eyebrow, he got right to the point, "That Clara girl. She your ex, ain't she?"

Frankie hid her shock and cursed herself for forgetting that she had told him about her, "Yes."

"What's she doing in Franklin? Thought she was from the big city."

Sucking in a deep breath, she calmly answered, "Her grandmother lives here and is dying. What's this all about, Howard?"

Shrugging nonchalantly, he suspiciously pointed out, "Just awful odd for the girl you said got away to be here. Makes me think. Now, Frankie, you do whatever you got to do, but I'll be damned if I stand by and watch your break my brother's heart."

It was then that Frankie's mouth hung up and her eyes widened. Completely hurt, she expressed, "How could you say something like that, Howard? I thought you and I were friends. Family. You're like a brother to me and when I am married, you will be one. Clara and I are in the past. Yes, I still care for her. That will never go away. Just like Forrest and Maggie's love for each other will never go away. I love Forrest. Our love is different and there isn't anyone else I want to be with. What you are accusing me of is incredibly hurtful. It shows you are still ignorant and prejudice towards me. After all we have been through, its hurtful to know how low you think of me."

Howard could see he had upset the girl. She was trying to remain strong. After all, she would be a Bondurant soon. But, anyone could see the hurt on her face. She had really thought Howard was her friend. Sighing, he stood up and explained, "I ain't ignorant or prejudice. I accepted who you are when you first got beat for it. I may have not said it properly, but that's because Forrest is my brother and I love him. I've seen him miserable for far too long and I'd do anything to make sure he's happy. The possibility of him not being so just made me mad."

"I understand. Howard, you have my word."

The eldest brother slowly nodded while taking a sip of his drink. He had told Forrest who Clara was and he seemed less than concerned. Her past was her past. He had told Howard to calm down and not worry, but that was his responsibility. Scratching the back of his head, he spoke in a calmer tone, "Well, listen. We going now. Won't be home till late, alright? But, listen. This ain't nothing to do with you, but you may have moved on, but I see it in her eyes. She ain't over you."

Howard gave a grim smile, before patting her on the shoulder and leaving. But, his words stayed on her mind. She felt like she was again becoming demonized. It was the reason why she had left New York. She had found solace with the Bondurants. Or so she thought. How could any of them doubt her feelings for Forrest and think she would actually cheat on him?

Even though her and Howard had quickly made up, she couldn't help but think he had a point. No. Her and Clara had just had a long talk about her finance. How happy she was. Her ex was so sincere...or was she? Frankie was a smart girl, she could figure out when someone was lying. Or was she just so happy that everything worked out that she forced herself to believe that the other girl understood? Her headache was back.