For a Vulcan that often required little sleep, I slept soundly and heavily that night (along with all the sleeping I had done the day before). When I opened my eyes, a simulated light glowed around me. The Enterprise was designed to mimic the night and day cycles on Earth with the light pattern which made it helpful when trying to decide what time to assume it was.
I assumed it was nearing seven o'clock; a bit later than I had intended to sleep but I felt much better having let myself than I probably would have otherwise. My muscles all seemed stiff and after a few minutes of lying in bed quietly, I stood up and stretched. I was feeling slightly eager to start the day as it meant, not only would I begin my work, but I got to be with Spock. It was a silly thought, but I liked it nonetheless.
I went into the bathroom first thing and got a look at what a bad way I really was in. My hair was one big rat's nest in the back and I looked as though I had been in some brawl the day prior. There were dark circles around each of my eyes that I concentrated on relieving. It was much easier than fixing actual injuries was and my countenance was much brighter after just a moment.
I bustled around the bathroom until I found a comb and ran it through my hair, untangling the rat's nest and smoothing it out. I decided perhaps it was time I took a shower since I hadn't exactly had the time or sense to take one in the last two days. I jumped in and made it quick. I stepped out and dried off, sticking my hair up in a towel to put my clothes on. I went to the closet and found my uniform, a red one at that, and slipped it on. I pulled on the sheer black tights and black boots before going back to the bathroom. I took my hair down after squeezing it with the towel in an attempt to dry it more. Upon realizing that there was not a hair tie in sight, I pulled my hair into a high pony and wrapped it with a strand to keep it up temporarily. I would have to find some way to procure some hair products before the day was done.
I took a breath and pushed back my emotions. While this was a place where I could openly express my emotions, it would be most wise to keep them at bay when in public. I had a history of public enragement that I meant to wipe away. This would be the most effective way to do so.
I grabbed the things that went along with the uniform: communicator, ID; tablet. I assumed that would be all I needed for the time being and left the room without another look.
I got into the hallway slightly mixed up as to where I was. The officers had a separate deck to themselves for quarters (deck five to be exact) but I wasn't sure where on this deck I was located. I took a wild guess and started off right. I figured no matter where I went, I would find a lift somewhere, and I did; right at the end of the hallway and next to it a computer kiosk.
"Computer, locate crew member Leonard McCoy," I said and it showed me his location as on the bridge. I got in the elevator and ordered it to take me to the bridge. I was feeling oddly optimistic and empowered. I wondered if it was as a result of my new uniform. I had a feeling that was part of it.
The elevator slowed to a stop and the doors opened. I stepped onto the bridge and had to hide a smile. Here I was, just a simple cadet yesterday and an ensign today, already in uniform and stepping onto the bridge of the USS Enterprise.
"There she is," McCoy said and I looked to him. I couldn't help but notice how many people looked at me.
"Surely not this lass?" the Scottish man I had met the day prior said. I remembered his name being Scotty and how fitting it was.
"As a matter of fact, it was 'this lass'," Spock said, moving out from behind the group with his hands behind his back to look at me.
"Well bravo milady," Scotty said, "but does she know anything about engineering?"
"I would wager she knows a fair amount," Spock answered and I could see him hiding a smile as he stepped up to where I was standing.
Perhaps the captain was right about you working on the bridge, Spock thought and I suppressed any emotions from appearing on my face although I was strangely delighted by his disguised compliment.
The door behind us slid open and I stepped out of the way.
"Captain," Spock greeted him and he looked back and forth between the two of us before smiling and chuckling a little.
"Good morning," he said to us and plopped down in his seat. "Ensign, report," he said.
I looked at him confused as to why he would be asking me for a report yet...
"Chekov," he clarified after a moment, "Ensign Chekov."
I turned back to Spock who was still looking at me. I couldn't help but be trapped by his gaze, not able to move or look anywhere but at him. I was aware of several people still watching to see what might happen, but Spock didn't seem worried. I, however, was a bit concerned as my credibility on this vessel was yet to be raised very much and I knew Spock would respect me no matter what I did.
"Doctor McCoy," I said quietly and he came over to us but I wasn't able to tear my eyes from Spock until I spoke my next words, "I assume you would like to perform an examination before I return to, or rather, start my work," I said.
"Well of course I do," he said and the Scottish man along with the captain shared a chuckle, their thoughts being much darker than the doctor's. "Actually," he said, attempting to be quieter, "I was wondering if we could get you transferred to med bay. I need another nurse and I think you just about fit the bill; I looked through your file this morning," he said.
"Well, I..." I looked at Spock who I realized was actively scowling, but not at the doctor; he was angry with those who had yet to look away from me as well as the captain and Scotty.
"I quite concur doctor; Peleia is well qualified in medicine and more familiar than most with many beings' anatomies on this ship. I suggest she be reassigned immediately," he said.
"Spock, what?"
He pulled me to the side for a moment. "I am finding it hard to control my negative emotions towards others while you are present. For the safety of the ship, you should stay in med bay where I can't so easily hear their thoughts," he said.
"I- okay," I replied, slightly surprised by the sudden defense.
He swept immediately to the captain and addressed him less than nicely.
"Captain, requesting permission for Ensign Peleia to be moved to work in med bay. Doctor McCoy is in need of another qualified nurse," he said.
"But she just got here," he teased, swiveling around in his chair to face me. "Don't you have enough nurses down there Bones?"
"Jim," McCoy said, "why does it matter so much? I need a nurse."
"And I need an ensign."
"But keptin-" Chekov tried to interject but Spock cut him off.
"Ensign Chekov does a perfectly fine job here-"
"Are you questioning my orders lieutenant?" Kirk asked. "She stays here."
Spock's jaw tightened. "Aye, sir," he said through his teeth.
"Captain," I said, having sensed his as well as several other crew members' thoughts and having given partial clearance to my anger, "if I am to remain on the bridge, I would hope it is not only for your entertainment. I came here to serve, but certainly not as decoration," I said.
The smile was smacked off the captain's face and Scotty's mouth formed an 'o' toward him.
"She's gotcha there, Jim," he said.
"Shut up, Scotty," the captain said. "Go put on a blue uniform," he ordered me, changing attitudes to look as if he had been joking the whole time. "Calm down Spock, she's all yours," he said, looking at his now extremely displeased first officer. "I'm sorry if I offended you," he said to me, being earnest this time, "it's not often that I get to mess with my first officer and still be following regulation," he joked and I attempted not to feel any sort of resent towards him.
"Of course," I said, glancing back at Spock who seemed to be gaining control of his emotions again, "I suppose a small jest is necessary for humans every so often. Thank you, Captain," I said and turned to follow McCoy into the lift. The door closed and we grabbed onto the handholds on the walls.
"It's a good thing you decided to come with me."
"I must agree."
"I kinda had a feeling something bad would happen if you stayed on the bridge," he said.
I looked at him, slightly surprised. "Then you do not have a need for another nurse?"
"Oh no, I've got plenty of people down there, but I do need an assistant and I saw what you did yesterday... I thought it might be good to have you around," he admitted.
"Thank you," I said. "I am honored and privileged to be working with you."
The elevator stopped but McCoy didn't move to get out. He hesitated a moment before saying, "You're not quite like Mr. Spock, are you?"
"In what way do you mean?"
"I mean, you have a little more life to you; you're not so uptight about emotions and stuff."
"Well, I... I'm not quite sure what to say," I said.
"It's a good thing," he clarified. "I think it's helping him not to be such a… such a Vulcan all the time," he said and I had to smile.
"I am not sure if you are aware, but my mother is Romulan. I have had trouble keeping my emotions to myself my whole life. It has only been recently that I have been able to better control my, for lack of a better term, savage side. Your comment is much appreciated; I see I am still headed in the right direction," I said.
"Well... you're welcome," he said and started to walk off. I followed him all the way to the med bay where several nurses were milling around. I assumed the rest were in the recreation room. "Christine, grab Ensign Peleia a uniform please," he said and a nurse nearby scurried away. "First thing's first," he said, "I was wondering if I might exploit your telepathic abilities for a moment," he said and led me over to a bed with a dormant patient lying on it. "This man seems to have fallen into a coma but we can't figure out why."
I looked at him for a moment before placing my hand on his face. I would have to observe a certain amount of caution; mind melding humans was dangerous in and of itself, but mind melding comatose individuals was always more dangerous as well. The two put together would either result in a solution or another problem.
It took me all of fifteen seconds to find and realize that he had fallen into a coma as a result of fear, quite literally. This man was a new cadet that had performed well and been assigned as a crew member fourth degree on this ship, despite his deathly fear of space. The boy had been studying to become an engineer but hadn't thought he would be assigned to an actual ship. He assumed he would build ships, not repair them mid flight. Unfortunately for him, his severe anxiety was sparked when he came aboard and his body automatically shut down, putting him in this comatose state. All that was required was the pulling of a few psychological strings and a reassurance of his safety. I came out of the meld as he opened his eyes.
"Great Scott," McCoy said. "How did you do that?"
"All he needed was a little encouragement," I said. "He had a severe anxiety attack upon being stationed on this ship and his mind did the only thing it knew how to, just as, for instance, if I, a Vulcan, was about to die I would automatically transfer my conscious mind to the body of another for safekeeping. The concept is relatively similar," I said.
"Well yes, but you brought him out of it," the doctor said, still astounded.
"I simply changed his attitude about the matter and he responded accordingly," I said.
"Excuse me, miss?"
The nurse from before was back with my uniform and I took it, thanking her. She went quickly back to her work.
"You can change over there," McCoy said and pointed to a curtained off area which I proceeded to. I changed quickly, feeling slightly uncomfortable as to the fact that I was still very much in public. I suppose it was normal for all these other people but I was not one-hundred percent confident of my privacy.
The change, however, went without complication and I returned to Doctor McCoy wearing a blue uniform in less than no time. "See, I thought you might look better in blue," he said and I knew he was joking innocently as always, but it became apparent to me that most of the people on this ship were not so innocent.
"I will take that as a compliment. Thank you, Doctor," I said.
McCoy looked as though he was about to say something but he hesitated. He tapped his finger on his tablet, thinking. After a moment he looked back up at me.
"I need to speak with you," he said. He pulled away and went into one of the private patient rooms which I followed him into. He closed the door and looked me straight in the eyes. "How did you do it?" he asked. "What in the world could you possibly give him that acted as a permanent cure?" he asked and my chest seemed to seize up a little. I should have known the doctor would ask this question eventually... Spock shouldn't have lived at all, let alone be entirely cured of his ailment.
"I... Doctor, believe me when I say it was the only way," I began, but this sounded incriminating. I felt like a criminal. Maybe it was because in truth, I had not yet told Spock himself. He seemed to be content with life.
"I believe you," he said.
"And it would be to my best advantage if you did not disclose these details with Spock that I may do it myself when I find the courage," I said.
"You're scaring me Peleia," he said. "What did you do?"
"I assure you, it was nothing bad, just rather unorthodox," I said. McCoy looked at me to explain. "I injected Mr. Spock with a blood sample," I said.
"From whom?" he pressed.
"I am not sure I should disclose the identity of my source until he is ready," I said, "but I can tell you that he is a friend of mine," friend was probably an inaccurate term, "whose blood has remarkable healing capabilities. It kept me from death not two days ago after I had an unfortunate accident with a military transport. I acted irrationally in the moment, but after thinking more deeply on the matter, I realize that it was the only hope he would have had," I finished and realized that besides not disclosing Harrison's name, my explanation was adequate and less than incriminating.
McCoy looked at me astounded, one eyebrow practically floating off his face. "Are you crazy? Taking a risk like that? You could've killed him!"
The Doctor's response was less friendly than I had expected as was mine in return. "He was dead either way," I said. "It was all I could do for him and I wasn't going to just sit there and watch him die. I had one choice and yes, it was risky, but aren't you glad I made it or we would all be sitting around at a funeral service right now with a bunch of angry Vulcans on top of us for killing one of the most distinguished members of my race," I said, stepping angrily closer to him. "Please, if you had another solution, I would love to hear it."
The doctor looked angrily but dejectedly at me. "How do you know there aren't going to be any after effects?"
"I don't," I said. "I don't know if he's going to fall over dead in the next few days; I don't know if I'm going to do that. Whatever happens to me I will assume will happen to him and so far, I've been fine, but it's a little late to be worried now," I said and stepped back, taking a breath so as to calm myself.
"Ya know, I should tell Spock all of this right now. He has a right to know," he said.
"He will know when it becomes relevant," I said.
There was a knock at the door and McCoy gave me one last hard glare before motioning to open the door.
"I'm sorry to interrupt, Doctor, but the ensign has a call waiting for her. Lieutenant Harrison of the USS Excelsior," the nurse said.
The Doctor looked at me. "If you don't tell him before the day is done, then I will," he threatened.
"Yes, sir," I said and he sent me out. I went to the comm. on the wall immediately and flipped it on.
"Peleia here," I said, still fuming.
"Peleia, are you in your quarters?"
"No, sir. Do you need me to be?"
"That would be helpful," he said.
"Headed there now. Medical out," I said and flipped it off.
I went back to McCoy who was milling about checking on the new crew members since there were no surgeries to be done and he was the ship's surgeon.
I stood at attention in front of him.
"Lieutenant," I said, reverting back to strict behavior in order to control my emotions.
"At ease, Ensign," he said, sensing my new attitude.
"Permission to speak privately with Lieutenant Harrison and report back in thirty minutes," I said.
"Granted," he mumbled and turned around. I sped from the room and immediately to my own quarters. I didn't want to risk Spock walking in while I was having a confidential conversation with Harrison.
I don't even remember half of the walk there due to my enormous rage that Doctor McCoy could be angry at me for saving Spock's life. I swiped my key card over the pad outside the door and stalked in. The door closed quickly behind me.
"Lights," I ordered as they seemed to have powered down to save energy.
The lights flicked on and I held back a gasp.
"Lieutenant, if I may ask how you got in here?"
"I beamed over," he said.
"Unauthorized was it?" I asked, completely forgetting both that he was my superior and also the very person who had saved Spock. Those things dawned upon me as soon as I had spit the unfriendly words. "I'm sorry," I said, suddenly feeling drained. Whereas Harrison had just stood up, I went past him and sat down on the bed. "I seem to have lost a bit of control over my emotions," I said tiredly.
"There is no guilt in that," he said and stood examining the things on my dresser. They were meaningless decorations, preset before my arrival, but he seemed intrigued anyway. "It appears we have come upon some complications," he said.
"Please clarify," I said.
"This has nothing to do with your relationship with Mr. Spock," he said but I could tell that he was slightly, if not largely, enraged by the matter, "so you needn't worry about him, but it appears you've gotten yourself a position on this starship."
"Obviously," I said, attempting to do so without any spite.
"Admiral Marcus is still on Earth," he said turning to me. "That's a little bit of a problem, wouldn't you say?" he said and I could tell now that he was very unhappy. "Considering the fact that you were supposed to be my informant," he said.
"John," I said, relaxing from exhaustion, "how was I supposed to turn down a promotion from Admiral Pike?"
"Lying low! I thought we discussed this... or at least it was implied," he said.
"There was nothing I could do from the time I saw you to the time I saw him to downgrade my public reputation in order to be grounded and stuck on Earth with all the other stupid humans," I said.
"But what... what am I supposed to do?" he asked and although his back was to me, I knew that he was serious. He had close to no hope for his cause and it leaked through his voice in the minute trembling that probably few could detect.
I stood up and attempted my best characterization of consoling. I put my hands on his shoulders and he jumped a bit at my touch, glancing back. I circled to still be holding his shoulders and also be at his side. "I will find a solution," I said.
He turned to me and took each of my hands into his.
"Please do," he said. "I just need this one thing; if this is all you can give me then I will take it," he said and I became aware of several of his emotions breaking free from those walls in his mind. It was as plain as if he had said it out loud how devastated he was to find out about Spock and me. For one so cold seeming, it was confusing to my mind that he even harbored feelings from the opposite spectrum.
"I... I'm sorry," I said, being at a further loss of words.
"It's not your fault," he said and I felt that he had a bit of resentment toward Spock.
But that hadn't stopped him from saving Spock. He had known very well our relationship but he had still done his best to help me to help him. John Harrison was proving to be a mystery that I was not sure I would ever solve.
I felt a surge of remorse but I didn't know what to do with it. Harrison looked away and dropped my hands. He wandered over to a wall and leaned against it with and outstretched arm. He hung his head and massaged his temples with his free hand while his back faced me.
I didn't know what to do. I remembered the twisted half-reality that had occurred the other day, but so much had happened since then. I was promised to Spock; I loved him and he loved me. He was a perfectly suitable spouse; more suitable than any other person I knew. Spock was the one I could trust and I was the one he could trust, but I had known all that the first time.
The first time. I thought it as if there would be a second.
"John," I addressed him quietly. He didn't move from his position but I knew I had his attention. "John, I do not know what to say. Spock and I are bound," I said. "I wish..." what did I wish? That it were different? No, not that I wasn't bound to Spock, but I do wish I could satisfy John. He was the only other person that had ever sided with me. He was like Spock, but with risks; with mystery and depth. I knew every detail of Spock's mind at all times. I knew the color of John's shirt most of the time, if I could see it; that was the basic extent of my knowledge of him.
John turned around and I realized I had stopped mid-sentence.
"No you don't," he said. "I can see it in your eyes. I don't matter."
"I-" his words startled me and I cut myself off, not actually having a reply before I began to speak. I was not sure if he was attempting to appeal to my remorse for him on purpose or if that was just the way he was speaking. Either way, it was working.
"You know that's not true," I said and stepped toward him.
"I beg to differ," he said, standing up a little more.
"This does not have to be a problem," I said.
"What, you just want me to forget about you? Peleia, you're the only person I know here; you're the only one I can trust in this entire institution and I'm not going to just forget about you," he said and I could see that his anger was mixing with sadness.
"I never said you had to forget; just learn to control your emotions!"
He gave me an incredulous look. "You don't understand! This is something you can't understand and I don't need to be lectured about controlling my emotions because that is something I have been trained not to do! I realize it is shameful to your race to show emotion but that is the only way I can live," he said. "Without that, I have nothing. There is no reason for me to be on this mission to free myself and my crew-!" he said but cut himself off. I realized that it may appear as if I was being manipulative if I followed up on his mistake, but what had I to lose?
"What crew? Is that what this is about?"
John looked at me terrified of what he had revealed.
"Please forgive me," he said and came towards me. I backed away but was stopped by the bed.
"What-?"
Harrison grabbed me behind the neck and forced me into a kiss. The shock was enough that I hardly realized when he raised an auditory paralysis apparatus to my ear that had me slipping out of consciousness and limply onto my bed in moments.