Author's note: I'm so glad everyone asked for the humor chapter. I really do like how this chapter turned out, but I wasn't sure if my readers really just wanted this story to be over. I'm so happy to know that is not the case. Even so, this story will end in two chapter - though I may write a short epilogue for closure.

Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to Fire Emblem.

Chapter twenty-eight: Family

One week and six days later, four people sat in Leo's room. Camilla and Elise were visiting their brother and his board, Niles, in order to discuss preparations for tomorrow's party. The subject varied from the proper way to consume food to appropriate varieties of conversation to dress. At dress, all progress ground to a halt as Elise recalled an imperfection in Niles' court clothes. She quickly fetched her sewing box and set to work straightening out his appearance.

"Ow!" Niles exclaimed, gasping as Elise stuck him once more with her sewing needle's point. He grimaced at her, she meeting his gaze with a pout.

"I'm sorry!" she said, though not sincerely. "But I can't tell where your spindly arms are under all this cloth!"

Niles huffed. "Why do you take such pleasure in dressing me?" he taunted.

"I'm the youngest of all my siblings — I'm too old for dolls, but too young for children. I have no one to play dress-up with, so I'll have to settle for you." She put the needle in her teeth and mumbled, "'Old stiff."

Niles hoped he had misheard and held still. He watched Camilla pace Leo's room, circling Niles and scrutinizing Elise's work — or perhaps her frown was more for Niles than her sister. She clicked her tongue several times, but so far, had said nothing. As she made her wordless distain known once more, Niles sighed and was reprimanded by Elise. He glanced at Leo, who was trying to keep out of their way by reading; but he noticed Niles' plea, and finally put the unread book down in a huff.

"Would the two of you stop bulling him?" he asked. "It's a fake engagement party, not the wedding."

Elise's eyes narrowed and she spit the needle from her mouth. "It's not fake!" she cried. "This party is going to ensure Niles and Corrin are allowed to get married! Niles has to look perfect."

"Well, let's not get too far ahead of ourselves," Camilla purred, smiling. "Somethings just aren't meant to be, darling."

Niles smirked. "Is that referring to my appearance or my wedding?"

"Whichever you like," Camilla answered, shrugging her shoulders. Then she clapped her hands together. "Oh! now I see what's so wrong. It's that mop you call hair…" She picked up a handful of Niles' curls; though she didn't tug at his head or hurt him in any way, Niles wanted to snap his head away. He didn't like being studied, as though he were a rotten mystery Camilla was bent on solving. He had to stand still, however, for fear of Else's needles, which were once again weaving through his shirt's cuffs.

"You want to cut his hair?" Leo asked, making a face. "Do you even know how?"

Camilla dropped her hold on Niles and whirled on her brother, smiling dangerously. "My dear Leo, I know everything," she whispered. "I am fully equipped to deal with each and every need of all of my siblings; they may come to me with any problem, from outgrown bangs to third-degree burns, and I can handle them perfectly. Please, do not doubt me again."

Leo stared at his sister warily. "Ah… Sorry?" he murmured. "I didn't mean to offended your outrageous devotion."

"Don't worry, sweetie, I know you're very bad at giving compliments," Camilla said, continuing to smile. "I won't worry about it."

Leo rolled his eyes and picked up his book. Niles frowned, understanding his lord's meaning: I've tried to deal with them for the past twenty years. It's your turn.

Camilla resumed playing with Niles' hair. "Certainly a good trim can take care of this frizz…" she murmured. "I wonder what would happen to these unfortunate curls if I were to chop them closer…?"

"Wait!" exclaimed Niles, freeing his hands from Elise to put them protectively over his head. He grinned at Camilla. "I have no problem with you touching me, but I do feel a little self-conscious when I hear the word 'chop' so close to my head."

Camilla laughed daintily. "You're so silly, Niles! I would never do anything so naughty — Corrin would be so upset with me!"

"Then maybe Corrin should be in the room when you shear me."

"No!" shouted Elise, jumping to her feet. "Corrin can't see you until the engagement party!"

Niles stared at her. "Why not? She's seen me plenty of times already."

Elise puffed up her cheeks in annoyance. "I'm fixing your clothing, Xander's lending you a formal vest, and Camilla's cutting your hair — all so you can look new and sparkling for Corrin tomorrow night! If she sees you now, then it won't be a surprise, and all our work will be for nothing!"

"I agree," Camilla murmured thoughtfully. "Corrin deserves a surprise on her special night."

Leo scoffed loudly. "That's ridiculous! Corrin could care less what Niles looks like."

Leo looked to Niles for confirmation. Niles shook his head. "Actually, I do like the idea of startling Corrin."

Elise laughed in smug glee. "Ha ha! See, Leo? You just don't understand affairs of the heart like we do. I told you those novels I read are useful!"

"Sorry, my lord," Niles said.

Leo rolled his eyes. "Whatever…"

A few minutes passed in efficient silence, as Elise resumed her work on Niles' shirt. Suddenly, she exclaimed, "All done!" and proudly jammed her needle into her pin cushion instead of Niles' flesh for once. She picked up Niles' wrist to show her sister her work. "How did I do, Camilla? Is the stitching neat? Are the threads tight?"

Camilla studied Niles' clothed wrist, then made him flap his arms here and there to see how his shirt hung on him if he stood in impossible positions. When she was finally satisfied, she smiled at Elise. "Beautiful, darling! The shirt fits much better, now."

Niles grinned. "Then my spindly arms won't disgrace you anymore, do you think?"

"Depends what you have them do at the party," Camilla replied. "Speaking of which, Niles, do you know how to dance?"

Niles started. "Why?"

"Because your engagement party is a ball!" Elise exclaimed with a giggle. "People dance at balls. Duh!"

Niles grimaced. "No one said anything about a ball," he accused. "For the past two weeks, everyone has called it a 'party'."

"What is a party to you, Niles?" Camilla asked.

"A bunch of sniveling rich people gorging themselves on wine and food until they pass out drunk."

"Well, charming as that sounds," Camilla said with a strained smile, "your engagement party to is have a light, formal dinner before we open up the doors to the ballroom, where you and Corrin will open the floor by performing the first waltz."

"What!" Niles exclaimed, feeling his face grow slightly hot. "Is this an engagement party or a mating display?"

Leo put his book down with a sigh. "Niles, everything the royal family does must be a display," he said disdainfully. "It's how we make our people feel included and at the same time maintain an awe-filled distance from them. It's odd, it's inconvenient, and sometimes just damn annoying. But it's what we do, so you'll have to get used to it."

Niles hesitated. He recalled their conversation of two weeks ago — the very morning of Niles' interview with Iago. They had agreed to reexamine the question of their relationship as lord and master after Niles and Corrin's relationship had been determined. Though they had yet to fulfill that promise, Niles had spent much time dwelling over the issue. He thought now, finally, was the time to share his decision.

"But… My lord," he began, "I'm marrying Corrin. I don't mean to be disrespectful, but by blood, she is a princess of Hoshido, not Nohr. She doesn't have a place in your court, and I certainly don't. I want to be your retainer, Lord Leo, not your equal."

Camilla had opened her mouth as though to breath fire at Niles; but his last words made her rethink her ire. She actually smiled genuinely at Niles and touched his shoulder more gently than she had touched his hair. "Against my better judgement, Niles, you really are becoming more and more adorable!"

"That is soooo sweet!" Elise swooned. "Totally stupid, but so sweet!"

Leo smiled himself. "I'm sorry, Niles, but Corrin is a Nohrian princess; whether you like it or not, you must accept the fact that you are about to become a Nohrian prince. On the field of battle, I hope I can continue to rely on you as my trusted retainer. But tomorrow, in court, you must be my brother if we're to convince those 'sniveling snobs'."

Camilla frowned at Leo. "Your cynicism is showing, dear. You might want to tuck that back in before I get upset."

Niles sighed, but grinned. "All right, fine. The pauper will play prince. But you'll have to coach me before I enter the arena."

Camilla nodded. "Of course we will! That's why we're here. Now, we'll start with the waltz — Leo, come and be my partner."

Leo recoiled. "Never! Last time we danced together, you insisted on leading. I'll demonstrate with Elise."

"Hurray!" Elise exclaimed.

Everyone worked quickly to push the furniture as much out of the way as possible before beginning. Then Leo motioned Niles and Camilla to stand against the wall, out of the way. He and Elise, meanwhile, walked over to another corner of the room.

"Now," Leo began, putting out his hand, palm up, in front of Elise, "a dance begins even before you're on the floor. This is the correct way to take a lady's hand — never reach or grab or grope for it. When you put out your hand like this, you are respectfully asking for permission to touch her."

"And if she agrees," Elise said, gently placing her hand in Leo's, "which Corrin will, she'll put her hand like this."

"Remember, everyone will be watching," Leo continued, leading Elise to the center of the room, "so walk erect and put some beauty into your movements."

"You won't have a pretty skirt to work with," said Elise, her free hand holding to an imaginary hem at her side, "so it won't be as easy for you to look graceful as it will be for Corrin, but I'm sure you can do it!"

Niles sighed, putting a hand to his head. "Why is this so complicated?" he asked. "I've seen village festivals where the people jive around an oak tree or something — they don't seem to have any rules."

"That is, as you said, jiving," Camilla emphasized. "This is ballroom dancing. It must be as cold and stately as the royal family. That doesn't mean it's not fun."

"We'll do it again," said Leo, and he and Elise retreated back to their corner. Niles watched as they repeated their entry onto the floor. When they met once more in the center of the room, Elise twirled slightly so that she and Leo now faced each other; one hand of each was clasped and held slightly raised, their arms curved upwards, while Elise had her other hand on Leo's shoulder. Leo held Elise's waist.

"See?" asked Leo, turning to look at Niles. "This is the waltzing position."

Niles grinned. "Seems comfy," he remarked. Leo rolled his eyes.

"Would you pay attention? Now, the waltz itself is simple. You just slide this foot forward, this foot forward, then the other foot back, and now your other foot —"

"Slow down!" Niles exclaimed. "I have no idea what you just did."

"Look here," Elise commanded, and brought her feet together with a loud click. "First, put your left foot forward." Leo slid his left foot forward, while Elise slid her left foot back. "Bring your right foot forward to meet it, then slide it to the right." Leo and Elise did so, though once more Leo followed Elise's instructions, while Elise reversed them. "Now it's the left foot's turn to chase your right foot," their feet met, "but the right foot's playing hard to get!" Leo's right foot retreated backwards. "The left foot won't give up!" His feet met. "Now the left foot gives the right foot a dose of its own medicine!" His left foot moved to the left, "And the right foot realizes her mistake and chases after her love — and they meet!" Their heels clicked together and Elise giggled. "Make sense?"

"No," muttered Niles, feeling annoyed and embarrassed. "What the hell kind of love story was that?"

Elise frowned and dropped Leo's hands. "A good one!" she shouted, putting her fists on her hips. "I don't wanna dance anymore!"

"Elise!" Leo complained, but his sister stomped over to a chair and plopped down. She huffed loudly and refused to get up.

Camilla hummed thoughtfully. "I think it would be easier for Niles to pick up the dance by doing rather than watching."

"I'm not dancing with him!" Elise exclaimed from her corner.

"I wasn't thinking of you, dear," Camilla said, smiling at Leo.

Leo's cheeks turned bright red. "No!" he sputtered. "I'm not dancing with Niles!"

"But darling," purred Camilla, "he needs to be led, first — and as the man, you're the best choice here."

"You seem to have no trouble leading when I'm your partner!"

"That was when you were young, Leo, and in need of tutoring yourself," Camilla answered, sounding exasperated. "Remember, this is how Xander taught you."

Niles had to cover his mouth so that Leo wouldn't see his smirk. The idea of proud Lord Xander dancing with his gangly little brother made Niles want to laugh. For fear of offending his liege, however, he was able to keep his mouth shut.

Leo tried several excuses to convince Camilla he could not dance with Niles, but they all fell flat. Suddenly, with an angry huff, Leo flicked his hand to motion Niles forward. Niles hesitated, and Leo barked, "I am not leading you onto the floor!"

Niles shuffled forward, feeling suddenly awkward himself. His temper was raising, and he felt still warmer when Leo took his hand and Elise cackled with mirth.

They flew apart. Leo glowered at his sister, while Niles only wished he could get away with such a threatening look. "If we're going to do this," Leo exclaimed, "then Elise has to leave!"

Elise gasped. "No way! I have to watch and make sure Niles learns how to dance properly for Corrin. I need to stay!"

Camilla looked back and forth between her two younger siblings, then sighed. "Elise, you may have one more chance — snicker again and you'll have to leave."

Elise clapped her hand over her mouth and nodded. Niles could see her smirking through her fingers.

Leo cursed under his breath, but his hand out once more. Niles grimaced and took it. "Left foot first, step back," Leo grumbled. Niles stepped forward and their toes collided. Leo cursed louder. "Why the hell did you step forward?"

"I saw Elise do it," Niles mumbled.

"She was being led! You're the man, you do the leading!"

"But, Lady Camilla said —"

"Forget what she said!" Leo barked. "Those lessons with Xander were a waste of time! I'm teaching you to lead. Just listen to me!"

Niles muttered his agreement. They tried again, and this time Niles did exactly as Leo said. They shuffled about awkwardly for some time, their legs too stiff to move properly, all while Leo grumbled orders at Niles.

Camilla finally sighed. "Why are you boys being so stubborn? Dancing is supposed to be fun and free, but you two dance as though you're corpses!"

Leo and Niles continued to waltz as Leo spat, "I told you not to make me dance with him!"

"The only reason it's going so poorly is because you won't take the time to teach him before you put him in the master's position," Camilla retorted. "Lead him!"

"No! It's a waste of time!"

"Leo!"

The door opened. Leo and Niles froze; they stared at Xander, who stared back at them with a wide, unblinking gaze. Azura poked her head around Xander, but drew back quickly when she saw Leo and Niles. (Niles imagined he could hear her choking in the hallway.) Several seconds seemed to pass, before Xander coughed and said, "I ah, ahem, just wanted to see how the… the wardrobe was coming."

Camilla and Elise emerged from their respective corners, hidden from the door, and flocked to their brother. Xander started at their sudden appearance, but listened as Camilla explained what was happening. "It's dancing lessons, Xander, for Niles doesn't know how to waltz. But Leo's being completely uncooperative and won't teach him to follow before he leads!"

"Xander," Elise interrupted, "Leo was being mean to me again! I won't dance with him ever again, or Niles either, until they apologize! Tell them, Xander, tell them!"

"Will you dance with Niles, Xander? Then Leo can return to his stuffy book."

"Enough!" Xander stopped his sisters. He sighed. "I will not dance with Niles. I can't believe you made Leo do so."

Leo sped back to pick up his book, grinning smugly. "I told them it was stupid and unnecessary!"

Niles sighed. "Why can't I just learn with Corrin?" he muttered.

"We already told you," Camilla replied impatiently, "we want to surprise her!"

"That's ridiculous!" Leo exclaimed from his corner. Niles was about to change his mind and agree with his lord, when Xander intervened.

"Elise, enough with the dramatics and take Niles' hand," Xander ordered. Elise quickly went to Niles and they assumed their dancing positions. Xander turned to Camilla, putting out his hand, "Sister?" he asked. Camilla nodded and took his hand. Finally, Xander turned to Niles. "Watch Camilla and I. We'll dance slowly, so you can see what we do. Begin when you can. Elise, coach him only when necessary."

"Am I leading?" Elise asked excitedly.

"No," Xander shook his head. "Just waltz as you normally would. Leo, Azura, make sure he doesn't make a mistake." Azura obediently slipped past Xander and went to stand beside Leo.

"What happens if I do make a mistake?" Niles mumbled. Xander smirked at him.

"Elise may step on your foot. That's how I taught Leo."

Leo's cheeks colored. "Yeah. Good times," he growled.

Xander and Camilla began to waltz. Niles watched as they gracefully swayed about the room, not only sliding rather than dragging their feet, but also turning in slow circles as they danced around Niles and Elise. After a few minutes, Niles and Elise joined in. Almost immediately, Elise stomped on Niles' foot. He yelped, cursed, and tried again. Leo coached loudly from his seat in the corner, while Azura whispered some advice.

Stubborn and angry as Niles was, Xander and Camilla's example, Elise's painful reprimands, and Leo's shouting (he couldn't even hear Azura) eventually taught Niles the steps. He still could not move from his square on the floor, but he did not bump into Elise anymore. Slowly, he began to relax. Elise began to giggle. Leo stopped pouting and took a turn dancing with Camilla. Azura was finally whisked onto the floor by Xander, but made to switch partners by Elise.

Soon, everyone — even Niles — was swept up in the dance. They laughed and swayed to the invisible music, exchanging partners and smiles constantly. Niles never noticed when he was able to lead Azura in a circle about the room; he never noticed when he could switch partners without needing a long pause; he surprised everyone, including himself, when Camilla twirled and he was able to guide her, as he had seen Xander do.

They eventually exhausted themselves and collapsed into the various furniture that was still pushed up against the walls. They gasped for breath, and Leo teased Elise, and Xander placated them both, and Azura complimented everyone, even Niles.

Niles himself felt strange. He was happy — incredibly happy. He had been included by Corrin's family in one of their ridiculous, embarrassing acts. Previously, he had been the outsider, and lately, the enemy; but today, for a few hours, he had been one of them. Is this what it's like to have a family?

Camilla suddenly stood up and clapped her hands again, calling everyone's attention to herself. "All right," she exclaimed, "it's time for a haircut!"

Ending note: I had to research the steps for waltzing before writing this chapter. I think those bits came out especially well, though.