Little Moments: Season 9
Disclaimer: I do not own Grey's Anatomy, or its characters and storylines. Those all belong to Shonda Rhimes and ABC.
Little Birds and Butterflies (Episode 6):
Callie wouldn't be sleeping at Mark's that night. She couldn't. Not after seeing her wife at the hospital that day. Not after seeing her wife walk through the door to her and their daughter. Arizona had given the brunette hope that day. Hope that things would get better…that miracles might be possible again…that their life may not be over after all. Maybe life was just beginning for them. A new life- one that would belong to just the three of them now.
If Arizona was willing to try, Callie would be there. She would sleep on the couch, or the floor, or even standing up if it meant being close to her wife that night. She knew she couldn't tell her, but Callie was so proud of Arizona for all she had accomplished that day. She was glad that they had seemed to turn the corner, and she would be eternally grateful to Miranda Bailey for getting the ball rolling. Bailey had done what Callie had only dreamed of for the past few months. She had coaxed their beautiful, little bird into testing out her wings. Arizona had taken flight that day, and Callie's heart soared right along with her.
For a split second, the younger woman had been jealous- jealous that someone else motivated Arizona enough to walk…to get out of the house…to be herself again. But any petty envy was soon replaced with relief…gratitude…hope. It didn't matter who got Arizona to come back, as long as she came back to Callie in the end. They weren't there just yet, but there was hope now. There was hope. And love. Above all, there was love.
The brunette felt herself starting at her wife during dinner, looking at her in a way she had almost forgotten. Arizona felt it too- felt those big, beautiful brown eyes glistening with love. A part of her wanted to look back…stare into those mesmerizing orbs…fall into the arms she longed for every single day since the plane crash. But she needed to stay strong…keep fighting to get better, sturdier on her feet, more confident. And she couldn't do that if she let her guard down completely.
"So…how was your day, munckin?" Arizona asked Sofia, who was busy slurping a strand of spaghetti.
Sofia smiled as the sauce oozed out of her little mouth. "Yummy, Mama," she mumbled, completely disregarding the question.
"Yes, Mommy is a very good cook. Isn't she?" Arizona whispered, glancing in Callie's direction.
Callie felt an all too familiar lump form in her throat. Except this time, it didn't hurt. This time, it came with the faint flutter of butterflies dancing in the pit of her belly like they always have when Arizona whispered that way.
The brunette swallowed hard and skipped right over the compliment, still afraid to hope too much. "You are making quite the mess, little miss," Callie chuckled nervously as she began to wipe the sauce off the floor.
Arizona got up from her seat and began loading the dishes into the sink. "You're daddy w-was just as messy, Sofia," the blonde said, her voice cracking at the mention of Mark. "Good thing your Mommy doesn't mind cleaning up after people. Sorry about the vase, by the way. I…I tried to get up as much glass as I could."
Was this really happening? This was too good to be true. "No…n-no problem," Callie stammered, unsure if she was imagining it all. "I only found one little tiny piece under the couch. As long as you didn't hurt yourself…"
For a brief moment, brown eyes locked with blue and the whole world seemed to spin. Arizona smiled, the hint of a dimple peeking out, and Callie felt as if she might just pass out. Her mind was racing. Her heart was pounding. And those butterflies were still dancing.
"All done," Sofia hollered suddenly, causing eyes to part and heads to whip in her direction.
There was an entire bowl of spaghetti on the floor, and the toddler was practically dripping with sauce that would never come out of that brand new outfit.
"Yes, I think you most certainly are done," Arizona said with a laugh.
Callie laughed too, which caused Sofia to crack up. This was the happiest the baby had been since before her mama and daddy left for Boise what seemed like ages ago. Both Callie and Arizona beamed at their happy little girl, sharing a moment of pure joy.
"Guess I'd better get, g-get her in the tub," Callie said as she started deep into her wife's baby blues again. The brunette didn't trust herself. She had to get out of that kitchen before she lost all control and just grabbed Arizona. One more look, or dimple, or butterfly and that little bird would be covered in kisses, and hugs, and tears.
Arizona felt a lump growing in her throat too, her thoughts mirroring those of her wife's. The longer she looked at the beautiful goddess before her, the harder it was becoming to remember why she couldn't just give up and throw herself into those arms.
"I'll umm…I'll clean up in here," the blonde finally whispered, grabbing the roll of paper towels.
"Really?" Callie asked, surprised at just how normal this evening appeared to be. "I mean…are, are you sure?"
Arizona simply nodded and got to work, her prosthetic moving so in tune with her body that it almost felt like she had two real legs again. She could do this. She could make this work. She had to. Her life depended on it.
"Great," Callie sighed, so in awe of the woman before her. "I'll just get this munchkin washed up and off to bed, then…"
"No," Arizona interjected, her voice soft and low.
Callie stopped unbuckling Sofia from her high chair and looked up, unsure of what her wife was about to say.
"If it's alright with you, I'd like to try and put her to sleep tonight," Arizona mumbled, her eyes cast down to the floor.
The blonde had only just begun to take flight, and she wasn't entirely sure how far her wings would carry her just yet. But her little chick needed her, and if she could muster up the strength and determination to walk herself across the street to Bailey and another little girl, she sure as hell was going to try with Sofia.
"Of course it's alright, Arizona," Callie replied, seeing both fortitude and fear in her wife's eyes.
"Mama," Sofia cried, her arms outstretch for Arizona already.
"Well, it's definitely alright with her," Callie chuckled as their baby bird desperately tried to take off. "Todavía no, mi pequeño polluelo. Patitos para primera…entonces nos pondremos una botella, un chupete, y su mamá. Promesa," Callie whispered in the raven beauty's little ear, promising her she would have all of the things she needed just as soon as her bath was over.
"I'll have you're ba-ba all ready for you when you get out," Arizona told their sweet girl, leaving the messy kitchen for a moment to come and give Sofia a kiss. "Go take a tubby with Mommy, okay?" Sofia nodded in agreement. "I'll be waiting for you."
A little while later, Callie emerged from the bathroom carrying one very clean and very tired little girl. Arizona had taken care of the kitchen just like she would have several months ago, before the accident and the amputation. The dishes were done, the countertop was cleaned, the floor was swept. Everything looked perfect to Callie, especially the adorable woman who had fallen asleep on the couch. This monumental day was catching up with Arizona, and no one could fault her for being exhausted.
"Let's let your mama sleep," Callie whispered to Sofia, who was also beginning to doze off.
"Mama," the baby called out from her semi-slumber, causing Arizona's eyes to open wide.
"Right here, Sofia," the blonde told her daughter as she fumbled around for her cane. "Mama's right here."
"Are you sure you want to do this tonight?" Callie asked tentatively, afraid that the question itself may set Arizona off. But she had to ask. She cared too much not to. The brunette knew her wife was going to jump back into life with both barrels now, but she also knew pushing too hard too fast would only set her back.
Arizona sucked in a deep breath, and for a moment, Callie was sure she was going to get yelled at. She was sure this had all been a dream, and that her wife was going to be transformed into a raging vulture and chew her head off.
But Arizona remained a thriving, little bird. She gathered her strength, found her cane, and stood up. "I'm good,' she announced once she had steadied herself. "It won't take long for her to fall asleep," she said as she took a step towards her sleepy girl. "Come on, sweetheart."
Sofia lifted her head up off of Callie's shoulder and flung herself into Arizona's arms. The blonde's whole body shook for a second, every bone and muscle working on overdrive to gain balance. But she did it. She remained upright, the weight of her body resting on the cane as she settled the little girl onto her hip. She couldn't pace the floor with Sofia just yet, but she had enough strength left in her to sway lightly. It only took a few moments for the baby to fall asleep, and the only tears that evening were those of her two mothers.
Callie had to look away from her wife for a moment so that Arizona didn't see her crying, and so she could pretend she didn't see the joyful tears gathering in those big, blue eyes. The brunette started to walk into the kitchen with Sofia's bottle when she heard a soft moan escape her wife's lips.
"Can, c-can you…w-would you mind taking her?" Arizona asked humbly, her tired wings about to give out.
"Sure," Callie whispered, letting Arizona see the tears. Maybe she needed to. If Callie couldn't tell her, maybe Arizona could at least see how overjoyed she was. And overjoyed was an understatement. Callie was walking on water…floating on air…soaring higher than any bird she had ever seen in the sky. That's what Arizona Robbins did to her. Once again, those butterflies returned.
Arizona had them too. Her heart had skipped a beat the moment Callie's hand rested on her back to gather up their daughter and bring her to bed. One touch…that's all it ever took. The little bird was falling, but she didn't need to be afraid. Callie would be there to catch her. She knew that all along.
"Thanks," Arizona mumbled as she passed Sofia to her mommy and wiped the tear that somehow had escaped.
"No…thank you," Callie whispered, brown eyes locked with blue until she reached the doorway to the nursery. "Be right back."
No more than a moment later, the brunette returned to the living room. Silence filled the air, like it had every other evening since Arizona came home from the hospital. But tonight, the silence was peaceful and neither one of them seemed to mind.
Callie sat down on the couch beside her wife, the comfortable silence nearly lulling them both into a blissful state of sleep. Arizona no longer felt the tension she had been burdening them both with for the past several months. In fact, the only discomfort the blonde felt at all was from the prosthetic. She sat up and began rubbing the tender spot below the false limb, deciding it was best to get over any awkwardness she felt in front of her wife. If she wanted her life with Callie back…and if Callie really wanted her, the prosthetic would have to be accepted as part of the package.
"Can I help you get to bed?" Callie asked as she turned her body to face Arizona, trying so hard not to grimace at the red, swollen flesh that was so clearly causing her love pain.
Arizona inhaled sharply, wishing she could ask Callie to spend the night with her…holding her, comforting her, making her feel safe and loved. "Ummm, no…n-no, that's okay. I can get myself to bed," the blonde said, offering her wife a small smile. "Just do me a favor and hit the baby monitor on your way out. Maybe check the volume. Last night I could barely hear Sofia and…"
"That won't be necessary," Callie interrupted, being sure to look right at Arizona when she raised and eyebrow. "I'm not going anywhere tonight. I'll be right here on the couch if you…or, or Sofia need me."
"Oh….oh, okay," Arizona mumbled, feeling her cheeks begin to flush. Callie was staying. She didn't even have to ask. Today was turning out to be a good one- a very good one. Maybe her life didn't have to be over after all. Maybe this was just the first step of many that would lead her home.
Once again, the little bird took flight, despite the aching leg that had been seriously overworked that day. Arizona walked on her own until she reached the bedroom doorway, then turned and whispered, "Goodnight, Calliope. Sweet Dreams."
"Yes. I think they will be tonight," the brunette replied, sending her wife to bed with a super magic smile and a belly full of butterflies.
Callie lay awake on the couch, thanking God for the wonderful gift he had bestowed upon her life that day. She sat there and prayed until she heard the familiar sound of Arizona's deep breathing, signaling the blonde had fallen asleep. Then quietly- ever so quietly, she tiptoed to the doorway and cried silent, happy tears as she studied the beautiful, strong, sweet girl she fell in love with. "I love you so much, Arizona," she whispered to her little bird, grateful she was beginning to find her wings again.
A few hours later, the blonde awoke, her eyes popping open wide as the day's events played out in her mind. She was alive. She wasn't buried in the cold, hard ground like her brother, or Mark and Lexie. She was alive and she could walk. She could walk in the door to Callie and their little girl every night, just as she had done that evening.
Unable to control the urge to see her wife's perfect face, Arizona sat up and began to strap her new leg back onto her healing body. This is how life would be now, and that was okay. The blonde took each step with precision and care, as not to wake the sleeping beauty on the couch. Then, just as Callie had done earlier, Arizona stood in the doorway and watched her love sleep. She studied every feature on her wife's face, thanking the God that Callie had put faith in for the two of them. "She's perfect," Arizona breathed into the dark space between herself and heaven. "Thank you for making her just the way she is."
As Arizona climbed back into bed, she could hear the soft snoring of her tiny human across the apartment. She could hear her Calliope breathing peacefully. And she could hear her heart beating, in time with the butterflies and the wings that now refused to stop flapping. Arizona Robbins was flying again…and oh, did it feel amazing.
A/N: Okay, so this chapter is clearly much more optimistic and uplifting than the previous one. Perhaps because the episode was so amazing and hopeful and just…yeah, perfect. And perhaps because I got over myself somewhat and decided I would go back to being my happy, life-loving self. I needed a little pity party, so I threw one for about a week and now I'm good. Very excited about what's to come for our girls, thinking Shonda wasn't lying when she said their moment would be great. Cannot wait. Yay for happy Calzona again, hopefully soon! And Happy Thanksgiving to all of you who celebrate. I have so much to be thankful for, this year and always. As a writer, please know how thankful I am to all of you who read and take the time to comment. Much appreciation & love.