This chapter is a little…angsty or something. I don't know. If I think about it too much, it makes me sad! D : But I still like it because I love Arthur! : 3

Chapter Pairings: America x England (one-sided)

5. I'M Gay, Too (England)

"Well, the thing is, I was wondering if you could tell me…about the gay community here?" America was looking at him with complete, honest, sincerity.

The water that England had been in the process of swallowing suddenly came spluttering back up to the surface as he coughed and choked at the unexpected question. He pounded himself on the chest a few times as he tried to come up with a decent response. Stalling for more time, he eventually asked, "Uh, but, why!"

"I was just wondering."

That's not what I meant!

"But…why?" England simply had to know exactly why America was asking. He didn't want to (get my hopes up) make assumptions.

America sighed and then launched into an explanation about his brother, Canada. Even though England had gone to school with the kid for three years, it took a little prompting from America before he completely remembered who he was. Canada was a quiet, unremarkable, boy who sometimes seemed to just blend in with the background. The only memorable thing he'd done thus far in his high school career was to capture the affections of Prussia, a kid who was known for quite the opposite reasons Canada was.

Anyway, England gathered from America's account that Canada had only just told him, the day before, that he was seeing another man, and it appeared to have upset America somewhat. England frowned a little, but continued listening.

"And I mean, it's not like I'm like, against gays or something, ya know? I was just really worried that kids here might be like, bullying him or something. But then I kinda noticed that there was actually a lot of…" he paused, gestured around at the cafeteria at large, and didn't finish his sentence. He looked helplessly at England. "So can you just explain it to me?"

England had been completely relieved to hear that America had nothing against gays, but this was still a sensitive subject. He wanted to be careful in how he approached it, but he knew that he was blushing, and probably seemed really uncomfortable and awkward in front of America. He cleared his throat and finally just gave a response. "Well, I'd say a fair amount…even the majority…of the boys here are gay, and everyone's pretty much okay with it. That's it. That's all there is to it, honestly."

America seemed to accept that answer and sat in silence to think over it. England was grateful for the break it gave him. He tried to finish eating his lunch but discovered, without much surprise, that his stomach was a little too queasy to eat right now. Instead, he let his eyes travel up and down America, who, thankfully, wasn't paying him any attention at the moment, but was looking out the window and appeared to be deep in thought.

As he gazed at America, he felt his stomach flutter and his cheeks regained their red tinge from before. His chest felt tight, and he knew that it was all America's fault, but he couldn't make himself look away. He was just grateful for this minute or so that he could look at him, study him, without his notice. He wished so badly that America could know how he was feeling right now, or, even more impossibly, reciprocate it. But he hadn't even had the balls to tell America that he himself happened to be gay, too. If he had, then even the dense American might begin to notice how he felt…

The thing was, he liked him so, so much. Even from the first day of school, he'd immediately noticed an attraction. From the start, he'd told himself that nothing would come of it. America was always casually mentioning girls and actresses he thought were hot, and besides, England wasn't really great at 'relationships' anyways. Still, logic and common sense hadn't stopped his heart from speeding up when America was near, or made him stop coming up with excuses to spend extra time with him. He'd hoped that over some time, maybe America would come around and grow to have feelings for him, too.

But after the conversation they'd just had, he highly doubted that would ever happen.

America had seemed totally shocked and flustered to find out that not only his brother, but actually the vast majority of the boys at this school, preferred other men. It didn't look like he'd ever, in his life, questioned his own sexuality.

I should just forget about him, England thought miserably for the hundredth time as the bell rang and everyone in the cafeteria stood as one. He caught America's eye as they headed off in their separate directions for their next classes, and forced himself to return his smile while inside he felt sick.

He's never going to like me back.

…

England sank into somewhat of a depression over the next few days. Every time he saw America's smiling, optimistic face, his gut clenched and he forced himself to look away. He couldn't even tell if he was trying to discourage himself, or if looking at him was just too painful. Either way, America began to notice after a while. This ended up only making things worse, because after that he kept trying to cheer England up. And as much as England liked the boy, that didn't stop him from hating him occasionally.

"I'll let you borrow it~" America sounded as though he was making an offer that one simply couldn't refuse, though England entirely planned on doing just that.

"No, thank you."

"Aw, come on. Why not?"

Now he was getting annoyed. "Piss off!"

"Go on. Just take it."

"Get that out of my face!" England snapped. He just couldn't take it anymore. America was waving a smuggled Playboy magazine under his nose, trying to tempt him out of his bad mood. Believe it or not, it wasn't quite working.

America sat back, looking defeated. As though he couldn't comprehend the fact that Playboy had failed him. England didn't look at him, he just sank further down into his armchair and raised his book to cover his probably bright red face. He was reading Pride and Prejudice. He always turned to the classics when he was depressed, although it wasn't working as well as it usually did to make him feel better. Shocker.

"I don't get how you can read that girl crap," America said after a while. Then he grinned. "Especially when I'm offering up my special, limited edition here." He held up the magazine again, but England refused to even look in his direction. Eventually, with a sigh, America gave up and let it drop back down into his lap.

England continued frowning at the same spot on the page, not truly reading, until America got bored with pouting and turned his attention elsewhere. Then he let the open book fall against his face and he groaned quietly, suddenly wishing that he could've fallen for someone else. Anyone else.

…

England finished Pride and Prejudice in record time but still didn't feel satisfied. What he really wanted to read was Jane Eyre, his all-time favorite, but unfortunately his copy was back at home in England. He could always send for it, but…that might take a few days, and he needed it now.

So that weekend he found himself in his favorite local bookstore, a charming little place that served as both a regular bookstore and a small café where customers (or anyone else) were encouraged to sit and read, even if they hadn't bought anything. It was very comfortable, with several couches in addition to regular chairs and tables, and had a fireplace for use during the cold New England winters.

He occasionally liked to buy a scone at the café (they served the only decent scone he'd found thus far in America) but today he wasn't much in the mood to eat. He just needed his book.

Luckily, they had several copies. He pulled one off the shelf and held it against his chest for a moment, his eyes closed in a silent word of thanks, before he rushed to pay for it. Looking at the cover after he'd bought it, he felt truly happy for the first time in about a week, and was ready to get to reading as soon as possible. He eyed one of the couches close to the unlit fireplace and thought it looked entirely inviting. Not to mention, a whole lot more convenient and more peaceful than the common room at school, where America was no doubt innocently and obliviously hanging around.

He took a few steps toward it before he glanced at the only other people in the area and stopped in his tracks. Curled up together on one of the other couches were two boys from his school: Sweden and Finland.

They were like, the school's official cutest couple. Finland had denied for a long time that they were together, but it was obvious that they'd liked each other since freshman year. Now they were always holding hands in the hallways and Sweden, who usually looked pretty frightening and unapproachable, had been known to almost smile while with his boyfriend. To be frank, they were so cute, it was sickening.

So there was no way in Hell that England was going to sit there and watch them cuddle and be happy and adorable together. His chest hurt just thinking about it.

He was already on his way out the door before he realized how close to tears he was. Urgh, this is his fault! Everything is! He wiped angrily at his eyes as he reached the sidewalk outside, hating how weak and vulnerable America, unknowingly, made him feel. Then, just to let out a little frustration, he kicked the brick wall of the building.

"Fuck you, America," he spat out violently as he remembered why kicking solid stone walls was a bad idea. He gingerly put his throbbing foot back down and winced. He briefly considered calling America and asking him for a ride, but dropped the idea immediately. He set his teeth and got ready to limp the whole way back to school.

This was definitely all America's fault.

I LOVE Jane Eyre! xD Ah, but poor England! Don't worry, things will get better. I could never leave him like this forever! ; )

Also, does being known as having the 'best scones' count as a compliment? I'm not so sure. : P

So for some reason these first five chapters were extremely dependent on each other for storyline, but after this most of the chapters are much more separate, sometimes even with huge time jumps in between them. And as a sneak peek for next time, it's going to be a two-part, super fluffy, SuFin! : D

Oh, and 'Piss off!' is courtesy of Chef Gordon Ramsay. I love him. xD