Chapter 3

After their first night, they made their way to Waterford the next day.

They had spent their time in Dun Laoghaire catching up on sleep they had missed, jetlag an upset neither had dealt with previously. Ana hadn't even complained about sleeping in a bed that wasn't her own. They opted to eat breakfast together that first morning on the secluded porch of the cottage. Ana felt uneasy at the mere prospect of having to lie to a married couple about her relationship with Christian, and so they ate together as the outdoor fireplace warmed their sides. Just the image of a religious figure above Ana's lonely bed the night before had scared her stiff thinking about the future of lies they would be uttering. From the enclosed porch, they could see a green landscape that stretched for miles, a distance of purity to explore.

They left after breakfast and drove to Waterford, the next location on Ana's itinerary. While there wasn't much to see on the highways, they both enjoyed each other's company on the drive and spoke of things that mattered, and things that didn't. They spoke of Bryce Fox's book chances of being successful, and Christian told Ana all about his childhood growing up with his sister Mia and his brother Elliott.

It was cold in the rental car. Every so often, Ana would raise her hands to hover before the warm vents of the dashboard before sliding her hands tightly between her hot, crossed thighs to keep them warm. It was a habit she had given light to yesterday, and Christian couldn't help but watch from the corner of his eye. It was cute; she would talk as she warmed her fingertips by the dashboard. And then it was sexy; her fingers digging between her legs so innocently.

Ana decided it was best to take their luggage to their place of accommodation before they went exploring. And then she read almost the entire chapter labelled 'Irish Crime- Things to look out for' from her Lonely Planet guide. Christian listened intently to her voice, but he barely paid any attention to her words.

When they arrived outside the second Bed and Breakfast, they were shocked to find how different the exterior was to the cottage they had stayed at the night before. The complex was in no way isolated or a cliché plonked picturesquely amidst green hills. Rather, the home was similar to a double terrace in a street of houses decorated by old English architecture. It was sweet, welcoming, and familiar.

The only feature that made Ana's heart speed was the 'No Vacancies' sign that loomed by the door.

"Well, what would you know?" Christian smiled, watching Ana as she gazed through her frosted window.

"I guess it's better this way...we don't have the choice to keep adding to the cost."

Christian sighed with a smile as he met Ana's gaze. "Yeah, you're right. If we start paying for separate rooms at every place that we can, we'll be broke in no time."

"Well...I guess I'm your wife for today." Ana fidgeted in her seat.

"I guess you are," Christian whispered. And then a part of him died with hope and anticipation.

When they stepped inside, their heads swam. Crosses lined the walls. Religious portraits cast accusing eyes over Ana and Christian. A hearty laugh bellowed from another room, followed by a string of words hollered in a strong Irish accent. Christian swallowed. Ana blinked twice. With a smile, they signed in as Mr and Mrs Steele. They took their bags to their room, locked their important possessions in the small safe, and dropped the subject before venturing out to explore.

The Waterford factory wasn't far from their accommodation and Ana was adamant they stick to schedule and get there early, immediately after checking in.

By ten that morning, the car park at the crystal factory was almost full. For a male editor, Christian seemed to have an extensive knowledge of all things crystal, and so as they crossed gravel, Christian raved about the rarity of the Waterford crystal. It was romantic, and as they glanced at the expensive items in the front-of-shop, Ana gushed.

"When I told her I was leaving for Ireland, Susannah asked me to buy her something that sparkles."

Ana blushed pink with jealous rage at Christian's casual comment. "Oh." Her tone emitted irritation. "She's not shy." Susannah was co-worker, who had a fling with Christian. And Ana did not like her. She was conceded and mean.

Christian shrugged. "She'd probably just pawn it anyway."

She couldn't look at him. "Mmm..."Spite consumed her, and Ana tapped her nails against the glass in frustration.

And then it caught her eye. It didn't glimmer or sparkle, but the uncanniness was striking.

"Oh my god. That ring looks exactly like my grandmother's engagement ring!" Ana exclaimed.

Christian stepped up behind her. "Really? Which one?"

"It's that one," Ana pointed to the glass as Christian leaned over her shoulder. "Third row across and second row down. I mean, I think so. I can't really remember it. My mom lost it years ago and she's never found it." Ana swallowed deeply as she loosened the tie on her coat. It was warm in the store. "Obviously it's not the same one, but it looks just like it."

Christian grinned with maturity. "Things like that are funny. They show up when you least expect them to."

With a glance into his understanding eyes, Ana decided Christian was right. And then her jealousy vanished.

They spent the day admiring the town and splurged at an expensive restaurant for lunch. Ana ordered soup and Christian ordered steak. Seated in the fancy Irish restaurant, Ana realised how they appeared; the perfect couple. She was confident that she was pretty, and she was certain Christian was gorgeous. He radiated sex appeal, and to onlookers, his sex appeal was shared most intimately with Ana. It was a game, and Ana was winning.

It was well after dark when they climbed the steps to Waterford Cathedral. 'Stunning' couldn't describe the vision Ana and Christian were pleasantly assaulted by when they stepped inside. In reverence, their discussion was reduced to a respectful silence. One thought ran through Christian's mind as he clicked away with his new camera- the cathedral didn't seem quite as religious as the bedroom that waited for them to occupy across town. The room was dressed with Catholicism, a prominent crucifix hung above their bed. Ana had not said a word, but when they had placed their luggage in the room, it had been obvious that the design had made Ana uncomfortable.

"We sure don't have churches like these in Seattle," Christian whispered. Ana nodded, and stepped away. She made her way along the side aisle of the Cathedral to admire the statues, and when she returned, Christian could have sworn she had been crying. Her eyes were red rimmed and her cheeks were tear stained. She sat down in the second pew, and after a moment, Christian joined her.

She gripped the edges of the pew and leant forward. All Christian could fathom was that Ana was the epitome of beauty. Her profile was perfect in his peripheral vision, and he watched her breathe as the bells of the cathedral chimed. Was it nine, or ten o'clock?

Their hands brushed against each others as Christian mirrored Ana's position. It was odd, and so edifyingly right.

"Did you get married in a church, Christian?" Ana whispered as she met Christian's admiring glance.

"No. I married Leila in a garden." He paused. "It was nice."

"I was married in a chapel in Vegas," Ana whispered sadly.

At that moment, all Christian wanted was to marry Ana. He would give her everything. He'd never let her go. All he had wanted for so long was just her.

"It's kind of frightening." Ana observed thoughtfully, and Christian waited with baited breath. "I wouldn't want to be alone here at night."

"It is night."

"But I'm not alone," Ana smiled, and Christian's gaze fell to her lips. Perfect, pink flesh that he wanted to mould with his. He hadn't kissed Ana for so long and the memory haunted him. Her lips made his tingle. In the corner of his eye, he watched her lick her lips, her perfect tongue he had never tasted wetting her flesh. Control was a poor value of Christian's, and had she initiated something when their gazes clashed desperately, god knows what would have happened. Her eyes pledged an elusive wanton nature, and Christian was silently frantic. Had she not stood and separated herself from him, mindlessly pacing around the cathedral, he would have laid her down on the pew and made reckless love to her.

They didn't leave the Cathedral for a long time, and it was almost midnight when they made their way up the stairs to their room.

"Oh my god," Ana whispered, as once again she took in the design of their room. Catholicism practically painted the walls. And there it was, the barer of guilt for Ana- a large cross above the double bed.

"Should we take down the cross, Christian?" Ana whispered as she pulled a jumper over her nightgown.

"Why would we take it down?" Christian asked casually as he stepped out of their bathroom, clad in winter pyjama's.

"Because we're not married!" Ana exclaimed as she turned the thermostat up higher, her cheeks warming for a different reason.

He loved that she blushed. Standing there, Christian worshipped her in secrecy purely for the reason that her body betrayed her mind- she would always blush if they were in a suggestive situation. Did she blush when making love?

"Do you have a side?" He croaked in nervousness. God, they were only sleeping together in the literal sense.

"I usually just sleep in the middle," Ana whispered, earning a nod from Christian. With a glance, a silent agreement was made that they would each take one side.

They climbed in together, the old mattress sinking in the middle, causing Christian and Ana to work harder to keep themselves apart.

Silence erupted.

"I can't believe Jesus is watching us," Christian commented with a smirk.

Ana laughed softly. "I know. I'm feeling very whorish right now."

Christian shifted to rest on his elbow, his strong form balancing by Ana's. "We're not doing anything." He caught her gaze in the moonlight.

Ana's tongue poked out to wet her suddenly dry lips. "I guess not..."

He looked down to the extra blanket they had thrown over the covers. "This is a Catholic Bed and Breakfast. I'm sure he has seen much worse."

Ana shivered, wrapping her arms around herself.

"You cold?" Christian worried, reaching out to rub his palm across her bicep.

Ana shifted at Christian's touch. "I'm okay."

They both lay awake for a while, contemplating why they had been pushed together so perfectly. Two years ago, to lie in a bed with Christian had been Ana's darkest fantasy.

"This is kind of weird, isn't it?" Christian quizzed. Ana wanted to scream 'No, it's not weird. It's what I've always wanted, and I know you have, too. Gather me in your arms and let me whisper of how I love your passion for me. I want you, Christian. I'm so sorry and I want you so completely.'

Instead, Ana choked, "Yeah."

He met her gaze with a smile. "You're okay with it, though?"

She mirrored his upturned lips. "Sure."

It was hard to think of anything but Christian, so she tried with every effort she owned. And then the nagging returned from that morning.

"I should have bought that crystal. It's like my grandmother was calling to me from the grave," Ana shared profoundly.

"I used to have a ring that looks like that. It was my grandmother's, too."

"Did you wear it, Christian?" Ana asked playfully.

Will chuckled. "No, I didn't wear it." He paused. "It was supposed to be for my wife, but when I was still dating Leila after college my dad asked for it back. My cousin in Detroit was considering asking a girl to marry him. So now the ring sits on his wife Erica's hand." He shifted upon the mattress, causing the space between them to shrink. "It looks better on her than it would have on Leila."

Leila. Lies. Books. SIP. Seattle. "It's weird not being home, isn't it?" Ana whispered as Christian shifted his elbow in his pillow, peering down at Ana.

Suddenly, they were so close and worlds apart. "No, I feel very much at home."

Christian reached out beneath the covers, allowing his palm to rest over Ana's hip.

Her body vibrated with pleasure at the simple touch. "What are you doing, Christian ?"

Heat. The thermostat was humming. "I'm not doing anything..."

His palm travelled up over her waist to rest in the curve. He was gentle with the trail of his fingertips.

He couldn't stop himself. "I just want-

"Christian, not here, okay?"

His forehead fell to rest upon Ana's. "I think we need to talk about a few things."

"I know, I know. And we will." His palm curved tighter around her waist. He was holding onto her. "It's just that I think we should wait, you know, until we get home. I don't want to ruin anything on this trip and then we'll be stuck together and it will be incredibly awkward."

He shook his head. "It wouldn't be awkward."

A whimper escaped Ana's lips. "Yes, it would." She tensed her stomach muscles and Christian pulled away, rejected and torn by need. "I'm not ready, Christian. I'm not ready for so many things, and Jesus is watching us, and it's just too much. I'm afraid I'll freak out from the pressure and then god knows what would happen. I just need more time to get used to the way I feel with my medication. I need to figure some things out."

"It's still there, though, isn't it? I'm not going crazy?" He moved closer, his breath ricocheting off Ana's lips, and she immediately knew what he was speaking of. The cloud of sexual denial that rained and rained, leaked and poured, and cast a constant shadow. Ana was waking up to sensations that consumed her, and she had an unknowing need for Christian to fulfil her cravings.

His whisper was warm on her lips. "Can you feel the tension, too?"

Ana's confession was lustful and whispered hoarsely. "You're not going crazy." And then he moved his thigh to press against hers. Her body froze. "But it's best that we just stay friends."

Christian sighed and placed a quick kiss on her lips. "That's what you want?"

"Yes, please."

He edged away slowly, and before Ana could be rocked by guilt she didn't deserve to deal with, Christian professed, "I'm going to be such a good friend."

Ana's toes brushed Christian's.

"No, Christian. You're going to be a close friend."

They both laughed, allowing the simple touch of their feet.

"Night, Christian."

"Good night, Ana."

Ana was the first to wake the next morning, but she didn't move an inch. She rested for a while, warm beneath the covers and dreading the cold that seep through her blood as soon as her bare toes slipped against the cool floorboards. She felt Christian shift in bed, and closed her eyes, feeling silly. They had done more than share a bed in the past. But after last night and Ana's suggestive advances, something in Ana's heart had been shaken. Ana felt Christian shift in bed and listened as he undressed and unzipped his suitcase in search of new clothes. He thought she was asleep, and Ana listened as Christian dressed himself in under two minutes. The click of a pen was louder than he had considerately been in is haste to dress, and his scribbling on paper was heard faintly. And then the door clicked and Christian was gone.

Ana sat up in bed. She swung her legs over the side on the mattress, barely registering the frozen air of the room as she leaned over the dresser to read the note. She was careful not to kick her toe on the edge on the suitcase on the floor as she read Christian's handwriting.

'I've gone to take a few pictures of the cathedral in daylight. I'll be back before 9:30.'

Christian stood by the door three minutes before nine. An elderly lady opened the door to the front store of the factory, welcoming Christian warmly as she commented in her strong Irish accent that he was the first, and very eager customer of the day.

He smiled, content to not discuss his poorly considered plans for the day. He told the kind lady of his limited time as he politely stepped toward the far corner of the room and peered into the glass case. The lady stepped behind the counter.

"It's that one," Christian pointed to the glass. "Third row across and second row down."

AN: I hope everyone enjoyed this update. Thanks for reading and reviewing! It's so nice to write for those who always kindly review.