Stand in the Rain

Shadow of an Echo

Chapter Nineteen

Meant to Live

The happy moment lasted for an hour or two until reality barged in on them. "Shunsui, what are we going to do?" Ichigo asked, voice scared, "How are we going to keep her safe?"

"We protect her, and that means getting as many people as we can ready to defend you and her. If we pull it off right we can probably hide her for a few months, four or five at the most would be my guess. After that we will need to come up with a better plan but at least we will have some time to think about it." Shunsui had the exact same fears as Ichigo, but he was ready to face down any danger to make sure his family came through the war healthy and whole.

"So you're saying we should tell more people?" Ichigo was wary of doing that. To him the more people that knew about her the bigger the risk of somebody finding out that would try to hurt their daughter.

Shunsui pulled Ichigo tighter against him reassuringly, "Ichigo, people are going to find out about her sooner or later, we need to tell the people we trust now so she can be defended. The baby is going to be okay, I won't tell anyone that would have any reason what so ever to give you away."

"Alright, I'll listen to you," He reluctantly agreed, "But if we do that there is one person I need to tell myself but you have to promise me you'll give me some time to do it, telling him is going to be really difficult."

"I think I can guess. You want to tell Isshin," Shunsui realized.

Ichigo nodded seriously, "If we are going to tell others about her then he should know he is getting a granddaughter but, like I said, it's going to be hard. I don't know how he is going to react to her when I'm still trying to get a grip on it myself."

"I understand," Shunsui assured, "But I am going to warn you. Isshin is far more perceptive than he looks. He acts carefree and giddy but he does it so people will warm up to him and he can figure out what's wrong easier. It works very well. If you wait too long trying to tell him he will notice her without you having to say anything. It's your choice if you want to let him know directly or wait until he finds out about her on his own. You know him Ichigo, go with your instincts."

"I will try to tell him," Ichigo decided, "But if I can't do it at least dad will know eventually."

"That means it's my turn to listen to you." Shunsui approved of that approach, it seemed the most reasonable. "Now, we need to decide who to tell and when. You get to pick and I'll stop you if I think there is a problem, but if there ends up being someone I truly believe we need to tell that you don't say I will ask your permission and explain why."

"The Visoreds." Ichigo said instantly, "They know what it is like to be persecuted, they won't let anyone from Seireitei touch her."

"Good choice," Somehow Shunsui had known they would be at the top of the list. "I agree they are safe. My Lisa was one of us and she isn't shy about it." Lisa had stopped hiding it after escaping Soul Society and she had discussed it with Shunsui while trying to get caught up with what had happened to each other in the last century.

"I'm not sure about Kisuke and Yoruichi, I don't think they'd turn on me, but I don't think telling them before saying anything to dad would be a good idea. They might try to do it for me." He was debating heavily over that one.

"I have a suggestion, tell Yoruichi but wait for Kisuke until Isshin knows." Shunsui advised. "She will understand that you need some time and will keep quiet until you're ready. It will just be safer if there is at least one person in every group of people you are normally around that knows about the baby."

"That means I should probably tell one of my friends, though for that I think I'll just tell all three of them. We have trusted each other too long for me to worry about them knowing." Chad, Orihime, and Uryu would not reveal him.

"Okay. This is another case where you know them better than I do, but I met your friend Chad and I liked him. He seemed like the kind of person that would take care of you no matter what." Those three had followed Ichigo into danger time and again, he doubted anything could make them turn on him after that. Orihime even owed him her freedom.

"I want to tell Hanataro and Rikichi, but no one else, there are already too many." Ichigo pressed.

"I think that is a good amount, we can stop there." Shunsui allowed.

"Should we get some of it out of the way now?" This was going to be hard, and if they were going to start telling people Ichigo wanted it over as painlessly as possible.

"Might as well," Shunsui agreed, "Do you want to start with the Visoreds? I think they will end up being the easiest to tell."

"We have to start somewhere." Ichigo agreed, letting Shunsui take the lead heading back to the Visoreds' hangout.

Of course talking about it and actually doing it were much different. All of them were awake, with being in hiding they moved around mostly at night and slept during the day.

"What happened out there tonight?" Shinji asked immediately, "It was my turn to follow you. I know you signaled that you didn't need help but you were gone for so long I thought something had gone wrong."

"Not wrong," Ichigo started slowly, he'd rather tell the easy parts first and then move on. "I did manage to talk to the Espada here. We're lucky, it's Starrk and Lilynette, the only thing that can really get him worked up is if something threatens Lilynette. I found her badly injured and he discovered me healing her, after he realized I was only trying to help her he calmed down and listened to me. He agrees that some Espada would be willing to fight against Aizen, and he actually brought it up himself. There are far more in on the plan than I thought, but four Espada and two Fraccion would come to Soul Society if Yamamoto agrees to work with them."

"Sounds almost too good to be true," Kensei noted, such a good opportunity falling into their laps was suspicious in his opinion.

Ichigo couldn't meet any of their eyes, "Well there is one issue with the whole thing, Starrk noticed something."

"What?" Shinji was worried, he'd never seen Ichigo acting like he was.

Ichigo set his hand against his stomach as Shunsui gripped his shoulder in support, "I'm going to have a baby, it's a little girl." He eventually told them, his voice so quiet they had to struggle to hear him.

As one all the Visoreds blanched but before Ichigo realized it he had a blonde haired ex-Captain hugging the life out of him, "Oh Ichigo, don't be afraid of us, I promise everything's going to be alright."

Ichigo found himself choking up, tears coming to his eyes, fear doubt and hope clashing together made it impossible to hold it all in anymore. "I'm not afraid, I'm terrified, I don't want to lose her." He confessed, feeling Shunsui hugging him from the opposite side as Shinji, surrounding him in comfort just as the two of them had done for Jyuushiro not that long ago.

"You won't." Shunsui promised, "We will do everything we can to get the two of you through. No one will hurt her, I won't let them."

An important question needed to be asked but Kensei was very gentle as he spoke, "Ichigo, is your baby Grimmjow's?" He had eventually told the Visoreds who broke him out and how.

Another hard confession as he burrowed his face into Shinji's shoulders and his love realized Ichigo couldn't do it himself, "We don't know, but she might be." Shunsui informed, there was no need to hide it, not from them.

Ichigo turned his head enough to speak, still very quiet, "Starrk could only sense that there was a baby and that she was a girl, he couldn't tell how old she is."

Hachi spoke up, an oddity since he usually kept to the background, "I might be able to." He offered softly. He specialized in both the creation and breaking of spiritual barriers, if anyone could wend their way through Ichigo's power to find out anything more definite about the baby it would be him.

"Please, try," Desperation was coloring Ichigo's voice making it louder.

The gentle Visored came over to him, Shinji yielding his spot to him, and settled his softly glowing palm onto his lower abdomen trying to target the small spark of life growing inside. It took a minute to sift through the obscuring cloud of Ichigo's power to find hers and he smiled. "I can feel her, she's strong, and about two months old."

"You're sure it isn't longer?" Shunsui asked, Ichigo nodding along with him.

"Maybe, but not more than a week in either direction. She's not Grimmjow's." He assured, he wasn't judging by strength alone like Starrk was able to, he felt the maturity of the power too. Like many people with strong Kido skills he had spent time trying to learn healing and for him it worked well; he was a very competent healer and before they left Seireitei people were not afraid to come to him if they couldn't get to the fourth. This was not the first baby he had checked on, it had just been a while since the last one.

That had Shunsui turning Ichigo around in his arms, hugging him tightly and kissing his forehead. "She's really ours." He said enthusiastically, referring to either Jyuushiro or himself, to him it didn't matter. "I would love her no matter if she was Grimmjow's, believe me on that, but this is our baby." His hand strayed to Ichigo's stomach, absolutely thrilled.

Ichigo pulled him into a very much needed kiss. He wanted the familiar feel of Shunsui to chase away his insecurities at least for a little while.

No matter how curious they were the Visoreds turned away from the pair in respect for their privacy. Well that answered one question anyway. When they broke apart Shinji came back over to them and draped an arm over each of their shoulders, "Congratulations, we suspected you two were together but you didn't say anything so we didn't bring it up."

"Not just us," Again, no point in hiding from them. "Jyuushiro is just as likely to be her father as I am, but to me it might as well be the same thing."

"I had wondered about that," Shinji admitted, "Didn't think anything would pull the two of you apart."

"Ichigo has only pulled us closer," Shunsui affirmed.

"So Ichigo, this means you will not be patrolling," Kensei insisted. "We can take care of it so you just concentrate on that baby."

He shook his head, "I can't stop completely or people will ask why, but this time I will let someone go with me without staying back. Since I know it is Starrk here if I need to talk to him he will understand me bringing someone else."

"Okay, question, how are you going to find him if you do need to talk? His shields have to be extremely strong to hide all of his power." Love asked this one, finally shaking off the surprise Ichigo's confession had thrown them into.

"Find the Arrancar trouble makers and wait for him there. If we can contain the Hollow but not kill it he will know we are trying to find him." Ichigo suggested, it had been a thought that hit him too, but thinking about the baby had taken up most of his focus.

"You will not be fighting!" At least three people called out at the same time, but Love was the one to keep talking. "I understand you need to be seen, but that doesn't mean we are going to let you fight any Hollows. Let whoever is with you handle it, or bring more people if you know that you need to contact him, but don't put yourself at risk."

"I wasn't going to!" Ichigo defended himself, "I guess I didn't say it right, don't worry, I won't do anything that could put her in danger, not any more than she already is."

"I believe you," Shunsui backed him up, before addressing the others, "You all know Ichigo, do you really think he would pull something like that when all he ever does is protect people?"

"Forgive us, but we worry about him, he is in the most danger even if the little one wasn't coming." Shinji admitted. "Aizen has proven Ichigo is a target of his, and he doesn't know about the baby and won't if we have anything to do with it."

"I'll be careful," Ichigo promised, before switching the topic away from plans for now, he wanted things to be normal again for a little bit without worrying about the threats hanging over his head. Stress was not good for his baby, he knew that much.

The next person to be told was Yoruichi, Shunsui drawing her away from the shop so they could talk to her alone. There was both happiness and fear on her face as she promised to keep his secret and do what she could to head off Kisuke until Ichigo could tell his dad.

By then Ichigo was so tired he couldn't see straight, so Shunsui made him go home and get some sleep. They would deal with more when he had taken care of himself.

Ichigo didn't go to bed right away, the rest of the house was asleep, now was as good a chance as he was going to get to tell Hanataro and Rikichi, so he went to their door and knocked softly hoping they were still awake. Since patrols were mostly at night the vast majority of them had acquired very strange sleeping habits.

To his luck they were either very light sleepers or they had already been up because their door opened quickly, Rikichi inviting him in. "What's going on?" It was so late, or early depending on how you looked at it, that Ichigo showing up was cause for concern.

"I'm in trouble," Ichigo told them seriously, settling into the chair by the desk too tired to hold his own weight up for much longer. "Remember what we were talking to Byakuya about at the hot spring?"

That was all Hanataro needed to hear, "You're pregnant aren't you?"

Ichigo nodded, "Yes, found out earlier tonight. The baby's a girl and is definitely either Jyuushiro's or Shunsui's. I was so scared at first, I thought she might be Grimmjow's. If he was her father she would be in so much more danger."

"Have you told anyone else?" Rikichi asked in concern, both of them could see how exhausted Ichigo was, he had endured a very long night.

"Shunsui of course, the Visoreds, and Yoruichi. I wanted to tell you while dad was asleep, I don't think I can tell him yet." Ichigo confessed. "There is an Espada and his Fraccion that knows, he was the one to tell me about the baby in the first place."

"Which one?" Hanataro asked curiously.

"Starrk, which was lucky, he is working with Grimmjow and others to rebel. He won't tell Aizen about my daughter." Ichigo responded.

"I take it you have a plan for hiding her?" Hanataro realized, there was no way so many powerful people knew and they hadn't managed to come up with something.

"Yes. We are going to make it look like I am patrolling but I won't do any of the actual fighting. She is strong, but still young, we can hide her for a few more months." He explained.

"We will do all we can to help," Rikichi assured, Hanataro nodded along with him, "Now you look like you're about to fall over, go get some sleep, your baby needs it."

XXXXX

Ichigo was stalling again, he had yet to tell his friends, and every time he thought he might be able to say something to his dad he chickened out. Shunsui was patiently supportive in that time, knowing Ichigo would come around and do what was right, but so much had been thrown at him it was understandable he was holding back a bit. He needed to collect himself.

His stress was starting to take effect. The little annoyances Ichigo had written off as worry over what would happen with Aizen got worse, and even he began to realize it was from the baby. He did what he could to get calmed down, but it wasn't enough. Now that he saw the symptoms for what they were he couldn't ignore them anymore, and they kept getting worse as his daughter got bigger.

It didn't take Isshin long to notice something was wrong with his son, in truth he probably caught onto the problems before Ichigo realized it himself. Ichigo was not acting like himself, and it didn't look like any manifestation of stress he had seen from him in the past. Even with the war drawing closer, that wasn't what was plaguing Ichigo, he was completely positive on that.

For one, his eating habits had radically changed in the past couple of weeks. There was times that he would eat like a starving wolf, and others that he barely touched three bites of his meal. He even had trouble putting much interest in Yuzu's curry when she made it a few days before. This turnaround had Yuzu worked up thinking she had been messing up the dish, one she had been making since she was tall enough to use the stove.

Isshin tasted no difference in the food. Whatever this new trait was stemming from, it had nothing to do with the quality of the meal.

Another thing that had caught Isshin's eye was the increased trouble with dizziness Ichigo was experiencing. Now it was almost guaranteed he would be fighting back vertigo when rising from the couch even a modicum too fast, Isshin had even caught him in the middle of a spell while supporting himself with the wall just outside his room. It appeared to Isshin like he had been trying to reach his room to avoid showing the weakness to his family, but hadn't managed to get there.

This was adding up to a moderately frightening conclusion, which came to a head the morning Ichigo had come downstairs for breakfast, took one whiff of the coffee Isshin had just brewed, before making a beeline for the bathroom.

Now all he had to do was figure out a way to approach him about it. He was soon granted the opportunity when Ichigo once again had trouble stomaching his dinner, asking to be excused early. It was the chance he had been waiting for.

XxxxX

Ichigo was laying on his bed, trying to recover from the nausea that made him unable to eat. It wasn't the first time, some of the moments had even been rather spectacular. The worst was when he couldn't fight it back and had to sprint to the bathroom just when everyone was gathering for breakfast; his family had to have noticed that. He reached down to rest his hand on his stomach, stroking over his daughter slowly; reminding himself all this hiding and sickness was worth it.

He quickly removed his hand and tried to pull himself together in a semblance of normalcy when someone knocked on his door, his father's voice following to ask permission to enter.

Okay that was weird, Isshin barely ever knocked, and those occasions were typically preceded by his being injured or sick in some way. Not good, really not good.

Calling out to invite his father in, he was a tad surprised to see the plate and mug in Isshin's hands. "Ichigo, you didn't eat nearly enough tonight, I brought you something that shouldn't be too hard on your stomach since you were sick this morning." Isshin explained; holding out the food and drink for Ichigo to take.

It turned out to be peppermint tea and fresh cut apple slices next to a few pieces of cinnamon covered toast. His stomach growled at the sight, plus the smell of the cinnamon, and he was soon devouring everything on the plate interspersed with sips of the warm tea.

Isshin waited until Ichigo was done with the food before speaking, Ichigo too intent on the meal to even realize he had still been in the room, making him jump at the sudden words. "You're a lot like your mother," Isshin observed, immediately gaining Ichigo's full attention at the words.

"What do you mean?" Ichigo asked in confusion.

Isshin smiled softly in remembrance, "That was Misaki's favorite meal when she was pregnant with you, it's fitting your baby would like it too."

Ichigo flew upright, hand going reflexively to his abdomen before he could stop it from giving himself away, "How did you know?" He asked quietly, finding his comforter suddenly very interesting as he refused to meet his father's eyes. That had been the only reply he could muster, knowing his reaction had proven Isshin's words.

"Ichigo I am your father, did you really think I wouldn't notice you are carrying my grandbaby under your heart?" Isshin responded with no small amount of amusement. "Lift your head Ichigo, I want to ask you a few questions, but don't you ever be afraid of me." He didn't like the almost ashamed posture Ichigo was in. His love for his children would always triumph over any anger he might feel, and truthfully he wasn't as mad as a small portion of his brain believed he should be. He was worried yes, but not angry.

"Granddaughter," Ichigo corrected softly. "The baby's a girl."

Isshin's smile widened a bit hearing that, "Now that's something your mother would love, she told me a couple times that she wanted a granddaughter to spoil at some point, though a grandson would be just as spoiled knowing her."

For the first time since his father had entered the room, Ichigo managed a small smile, "I'm glad I would have made her happy; even if this is a little unconventional."

"You are a lot younger than I would like," Isshin admitted, "But it happened and she is going to be here soon, so let's make the best of it?" He offered.

"Thank you," Ichigo's voice was filled with so much relief Isshin was almost upset; had Ichigo really been that afraid of him?

"Now, I mentioned I have some questions, all I want is for you to be honest with me," Isshin explained.

A quiet sigh escaped Ichigo, "Alright, what do you want to know?"

"Who is her father?" The question was definitely not unexpected.

He knew his dad told him not to be afraid, but he just couldn't answer while looking at him so he switched his gaze to his window, "I don't know."

"You had to have trusted and loved him for the baby to be here, what happened Ichigo?" Isshin didn't know what to think, so he wanted to wait for the explanation before he passed judgment.

"You might not like this," Ichigo warned, seeing his dad tense.

"Just tell me," Isshin urged, "I want to know the two of you are safe."

"I love two people, and they both love me back," He answered with the truth. "Either one could be her father."

"Which two?" He still wasn't quite sure about all this. He was terrified for his son and soon to come granddaughter, they didn't need anything that could make it harder on them.

Ichigo smiled wanly as he thought of his loves, "Jyuushiro and Shunsui." Isshin had to know those names, he had been in the soul society himself and they were the longest running Captain's after Yamamoto and Retsu.

Relief washed over Isshin, strongly, he felt much better about it now. "They will take good care of you and her, but how did that come about?"

"When I first got back from Heuco Mundo I was a mess, Retsu healed me physically, but those two pulled me back together mentally. We grew closer as they helped me, and eventually, we realized we loved each other and it was worth giving it a chance to grow." Ichigo explained.

"Do they know about her?" Isshin inquired with concern, just how much had Ichigo hidden her away?

"Shunsui does, but we haven't been able to tell Jyuushiro just in case we are overheard that is going to have to happen in person." Ichigo answered, "Shunsui was going to help me tell you, but I asked him to let me do it. It was too hard though; I tried a couple times."

"Alright, now about her, do you know how far along you are?" Isshin decided to change the subject, getting all he needed about that for now.

"About two and a half months," He had his hand over his baby again, "Found out two weeks ago."

"How did you figure it out?" He was very curious about that, it could take a while for a male Shinigami to notice a baby, even knowing it was possible it was still not the first thing to come to mind when they weren't feeling good.

"One of the rebelling Espada told me," He admitted, and his father froze in place, "I was healing his Fraccion when he found me, it didn't take him a full minute to notice the baby. It was the Primera, Starrk, and he likes children too much to tell Aizen about mine. Apparently an Arrancar can sense when someone is pregnant much sooner but they can't tell as much as a Shinigami. I learned she was a girl from him, but had to get one of the Visoreds to help me figure out how far I was. She might have been Grimmjow's. I don't love him, but I do trust him especially when he defied Aizen to break me out, it might have been enough for the baby to be his."

"You would love her anyway right?" It had to be asked, even though Isshin already knew the answer.

"Of course," Ichigo insisted, "I'm really glad she isn't his because that would be so much harder on her, but if he had been she wouldn't be any less loved. I owe Grimmjow a lot, if it weren't for him she wouldn't be here even though she isn't his daughter, he got me away from Aizen. I would have taken care of his baby just for that. After all she's mine too."

He was surprised when Isshin pulled him into a hug, not the full on tackle he usually did, but one meant to comfort, "I'm so proud of you. This is going to be hard, you're young and I know you never thought this could happen, but you're strong. You will keep your daughter safe and happy."

Ichigo melted into his hug, relaxing for the first time in weeks, "You're really not mad?"

"No." Isshin assured. "I probably should be, but I'm more afraid for you than angry. I was in the Seireitei for a long time. I knew this was possible, but you didn't. There isn't a way to prevent it if you don't have control over your power and that has never been your strong suit. I do not blame you for needing comfort and seeking love once you were free." Isshin didn't realize his son was crying until moisture seeped through his shirt where Ichigo had his face pressed against him. He just held onto him and rubbed his back soothingly, he wasn't surprised about the break down. Something this big was too hard to handle without needing help. He whispered lowly to him, the words not really mattering, he was just proving he was there for him.

It took a while but slowly Ichigo came back around and pulled away from his dad, his eyes were red and sore and his head ached, but he felt lighter than he had since finding out about the baby. "I love her so much already, I just want her to be okay." He admitted, hand on his stomach again, he never took it away for long if he knew he was safe.

His father's hand settled next to his own, "She will be. I can't wait to meet her."

"There's so much that could go wrong," The thoughts were always plaguing him, everything that might take his little girl away from him.

"I won't let anyone lay a hand on your baby," Isshin promised, adding his protection to those already looking out for Ichigo and his daughter.

"She will have a lot of people looking after her, but, I just can't stop thinking about it," Ichigo admitted, rubbing gentle circles into the skin over his baby.

"It's okay to worry, I'd be more concerned if you weren't, but I meant it. Nothing is going to hurt this baby. I failed to save your mother, and then couldn't keep you safe, I refuse to let that happen to my granddaughter. I will fight for her, more than I ever had, trust me." Isshin insisted, pulling his son into another hug. He had failed his family too many times already, the little girl growing in Ichigo would not suffer the same fate. He would protect her to his last breath.