November 3, 2000
After calling in the anonymous tip, Emma hitchhiked on the side of the highway. She wanted to put as much distance between herself and Oregon as possible. By some miracle she didn't end up murdered. The truck driver took her all the way to Boston, Massachusetts. Despite her protest, the man got her a job. She suspected he must have taken pity on her when she told him she was an orphan and pretty much homeless. One of his family friends was a lawyer but a childless widow. She needed someone to keep the house clean and take care of the dogs. Emma really didn't interact with her much, but she did let Emma stay in the house because she had two guest rooms. This also allowed Emma to watch the house when she wasn't around. The pay was really good, and if Emma saved up enough money, she could get her own place within a year. A week had passed since Emma left Neal to his fate.
She pulled her coat a little higher to her neck as the cold November air caused her to shiver. Her tasks were pretty much done for a few hours. The dogs didn't need to be relieved again until a hour before her boss, Angela, was due home. One thing about the house she had to monitor, was the lack of meats in the refrigerator. Angela was a vegetarian, and Emma always got her meat fixes when she left. Emma didn't know what was happening, but she had been craving the weirdest foods lately. Every time she went to the grocery store, she would only pick up the items on Angela's list because Emma was too indecisive for what she wanted.
Now, she was walking the streets of Boston looking for a hotdog vendor. In the past, Emma avoided hotdogs because Kevin used to pelt them at her, and she couldn't get the smell of them out of her hair when they were loaded with chili. She tried ignoring the craving for days, but eventually, she decided to cave.
A small smile grew in her mouth when she saw the yellow Flappy Dog food cart. Her strides came to a halt when the smell of chili assaulted her nose. Suddenly, her throat started to burn, and she ran to the nearest trashcan to throw up.
I guess a hotdog is out of the question. She stared at the hotdog kiosk forlornly.
"I remember when I went through that," a woman commented behind her.
"Excuse me?" Emma asked slightly confused. Her cheeks started to redden when she realized that a stranger watched her throw up in the middle of Boston. It was odd that the stranger's voice was nostalgic.
"How often have you been throwing up?" The woman asked curious.
Emma's eyes narrowed in confusion. This situation was weird- making small talk about her throwing up. Now that Emma thought about it, she had been sick since her time with Rumpelstiltskin, but that was with certain foods, and she was pretty sure it was the chimera she ate.
"Since six week ago, but I think I am coming down with the flu," Emma admitted. It was flu season. She couldn't think of any other explanation for her throwing up, her tiredness, and her chest area being sore.
"Honey, do you get sick when you smell or think of certain foods?"
Emma was feeling slightly uncomfortable at being interrogated in the middle of the street.
At Emma's slow nod, the woman gave Emma a knowing grin when she responded.
"I think you're pregnant," she answered with a wink.
Emma's eyes widened in shock before they honed on the woman's clenched hands. Each one of her hands were occupied by holding a child's hand. Emma shook her head in denial. There was no way that she could be pregnant. She wasn't going to have a kid like the one on the woman's left, picking at his nose, or the right snorting the phlegm back into his nose.
Emma felt her world crashing down around her as she tried to put pieces together.
"Thank you, I must be going," Emma told the woman before breaking into a run.
It was better to put her fears to rest by buying one of those stupid tests than trying to rationalize everything. The worrying could come later after she knew for sure about her predicament.
Her eyes located a local pharmacy store, and her hands grabbed the nearest pregnancy stick hanging on the display. She all but threw her money on the counter after the cashier told her the price. Catching the bus, her hand was shaking while she was sitting on the seat on the way home. She had trouble leaving the bus, and her keys fumbled to open the house door. As soon as the door opened, she ran to the nearest bathroom, practically shredding the paper bag and box open.
She hurriedly closed the bathroom door and read the instructions for the test. After completing the designated test, she had to wait.
Her thumbs twiddled as she waited for the results. The object was taunting her as it sat on the box remains on the counter. The rest of her future was dependent on a stupid stick. The sound of the kitchen timer caused her to jump, signaling the ten minutes were up. Her hand shakily brought the test to her eyes. With a gasp, she stood up and ran out of the bathroom. The fallen test on the floor revealed a small pink plus sign.
Emma hurriedly tried to get a second opinion because she didn't believe that a store bought test could tell her she was pregnant. She wasn't going to waste her money on another one. Due to her lack of health insurance, she ended up getting referred to a free prenatal clinic by the local health department. Apparently, she was eighteen and twelve weeks pregnant.
She cradled her head in-between her hands as she thought about how she got into this situation. She never slept with Neal. She even shuddered at the thought. She would have regretted it if she had, knowing how they parted ways.
She looked up to the florescence light and groaned as she remembered this conversation with Killian, roughly twelve weeks ago on the Jolly Roger.
Emma was staring out at the sea through the cabin's window. She was filled with worry. Maybe she was overthinking everything, and she had nothing to worry about. Hormonal imbalances and stress could be a cause for a missed cycle, especially a week late. That was one explanation, but she couldn't ignore these past couple of weeks with Killian. She wasn't naive when it came to sexual activities because her school made her watch videos on pregnancies. Not that she was complaining about the sex- it was great, but at the rate Killian and herself were having intercourse, she knew the odds of having a baby were really high, especially since they weren't using protection.
She felt Killian's worry before he wrapped his arms around her waist. "Love, are you alright? You seem vexed?" He asked, turning her around, each hand was resting on each of her shoulders. His eyes were looking all over her face to try and read her.
Emma lifted one of her hands to cover one of his. She squeezed it for comfort- for her or him, she didn't know.
"Killian, I have been thinking about our…" She hesitated, not knowing how to tactfully bring this up. "Activities these past couple of nights." She began, gauging his reaction.
Killian's worried glance turned into a smug grin. He captured her in an embrace, running his free hand in her hair.
"Am I that good that you can't wait till tonight for me to ravish you again?" He smiled at her suggestively, waggling his eyebrows at her.
"Easy tiger, careful with your ego, or else, your head is going to explode." Emma snorted at his hyper inflated ego.
She didn't know whether he was joking to relieve the tension or being serious. She hoped it was the former, because she needed the strength to get this out.
"I can't help I am a man of many talents." He shrugged, smirking at her.
Emma couldn't stop laughing at his innuendo.
"Stop… " Emma tried to reign in her laughter, but she was getting distracted at this point. "God, what was I going to say?" She asked herself, wiping the tears from her eyes. Her expression sobered when she looked at her husband. "We haven't been exactly careful…" She reminded, her voice trailing off. Did the Enchanted forest even have protection? She shook her head at the thought, continuing her explanation. "I mean by the rate we are going we are bound to have a kid," she mumbled into Killian's shoulder.
His smile turned into a frown before he turned his face to her. "You think that there is a chance that you are with child?" He asked, his eyes searching her gaze.
She nodded weakly. "I don't know if I can raise a kid." She broke free from his embrace and began to pace. "I was an orphan thief for crying out loud." She finished, running her fingers through her hair in frustration.
His hand caught her arm to stop her from her pacing. "You forget that I was an orphan, who turned pirate as well," he reminded.
He was trying to make her feel better. She could see the love in his eyes. He wanted to keep the baby. That was the point. Their poor backgrounds would make them bad parents.
"See that's the problem. I don't know if a ship is the best place to raise a baby. Plus, I have never changed a diaper before, and I'm sure you haven't either." She threw her hands up in exasperation.
"We will deal with the living arrangements when the time comes. Whatever happens, we will raise this baby together-"
Emma shook her head at the memory, glaring out the window. "We were supposed to have this baby together, Killian, but you aren't here. I can't do this on my own."
February 2, 2001
It was twenty-four weeks into Emma's pregnancy, and she was definitely getting bigger. Emma rubbed her stomach, feeling the slight bulge. If her boss noticed, she didn't say. Letting out a frustrated breath, Emma thought about her options. She was going to have to quit her job because her duties were slacking. This was the best job she had. She bit her lip and raised a hand to knock on Angela's study. Emma usually avoided her boss until she needed to, because she was a busy woman. The inevitable had been postponed long enough.
Emma's fist made contact with the door with a resounding knock. Beads of sweat started to break out on Emma's forehead, when Angela didn't answer immediately. Her nerves were being shot to hell standing in the hallway.
"Come in," Angela beckoned.
When Emma opened the door, Angela's nose was buried in one of the papers she was reading, pertaining to a case she was working on. As soon as Emma stood before her boss, Angela acknowledged her with a hum. Maybe it would be easier to tell Angela she was quitting if she wasn't looking at her.
"Sorry, to bother you," Emma apologized, rubbing her arm nervously. Her eyes winced at her feeble tone because it caught her boss's attention.
Angela lifted her head to look at Emma with a shrewd gaze, pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose with her index finger. "Is everything alright, Emma?" She asked, taking in Emma's appearance.
Her gaze was slightly uncomfortable. Emma wondered whether this was the look that she used in the courtroom-it was intimidating.
Emma swallowed- her throat became dry. "I want to thank you for allowing me to stay here and work for you, but due to unforeseen circumstances, I have to quit."
Angela's eyes widened, dropping the paper she was holding. Her gaze grew concerned.
"Did I do anything to mistreat you?"
"Wait, what?" Emma asked surprised. She was taken aback by Angela's question. Her question made her uncomfortable, because she was expecting to quit without problems.
"No, it's nothing you did," Emma answered awkwardly.
Emma's answer caused Angela to slightly relax.
"You see, Emma. When Randall recommended me to hire you, I was skeptical. He picked you up as a hitchhiker. The logical thing for me to expect was you stealing and leaving, but you have been here three months. My house has remained intact and you have been pleasant company. I would hate to see you go."
No one except Killian made her feel needed. She could see the sincerity in Angela's blue gaze. Damn hormones were making her want to cry.
"No, you have been kind to me. I can't work here knowing I am pregnant," Emma answered truthfully.
"You're pregnant?" Angela asked, taking in her appearance. "You never invite anyone over." Her tone was doubtful.
"Yes, my husband… died months ago." He didn't exactly die, but how would she explain to her boss that her husband lived three hundred years in the past? That didn't sound crazy at all.
"No life insurance?" Angela asked, crossing her arms, her gaze calculating.
"No, we were young. Nineteen. He was an orphan too," Emma said, looking down.
"I was wondering why you hitchhiked. You're young, but you're determined to survive on your own. Did I ever tell you what happened to my husband? " Angela asked, her tone sad.
When Emma shook her head, Angela began her story.
"My son, Michael, wanted to get his driver's permit. My husband volunteered to teach him. One snowy day, Michael was driving. He lost control of the car and both my husband and him died."
"I am sorry for your loss." Emma gave her condolences, looking away from Angela uncomfortably.
Angela touched Emma's arm lightly. "Emma, you seem like the type of person who is used to handling things on your own. With a situation like this, you need all the help you can get. Stay, I will make sure you have the proper needs met."
Emma looked at Angela shocked. "You don't even know me. Why are you doing this?" She asked incredulously.
In her experience, no one helped anyone out of genuine kindness. When they did, they expected something. Emma had nothing to offer Angela. She didn't trust her to help her out of the goodness of her heart.
"Michael was sixteen when he died. You're two years older," Angela said wistfully, before her old eyes looked at Emma with kindness. "I may have not known you for long, Emma, but I do consider you like a daughter. "
Emma didn't detect the lie in Angela's voice, and she couldn't stifle the sob that escaped her mouth.
"Thank you!" Emma threw her hands around Angela's neck. The older woman hugged Emma comfortingly.
"I think you will be a great mother, Emma," Angela said, holding Emma in an embrace.
With a small, weak smile, Emma pulled away and left the room. She went to her bed and plopped down. Her mind was reeling with Angela's kindness. She didn't know why this lawyer was so willing to help her.
I think you will be a great mother Emma. Angela's words triggered a distant memory in Emma's mind.
"Whatever happens, we will raise this baby together because it's just another adventure that life throws at us," Killian said with sincerity, resting his chin on top of her head. "You will be a fine mother, Emma. The child won't lack for affection, and you will protect the young lad or lass to the best of your ability."
How could Killian be so optimistic? She couldn't even provide for their child without help. That would mean she failed at being a mother. "Maybe you think I can be a great mother, Killian, but I won't be."
May 25,2001
After Emma's talk with Angela, Angela had Emma added to her health insurance plan a week later. Here Emma was at her fortieth week of pregnancy, stuck in a hospital bed with the worst pain imaginable. Her water broke hours ago while she was watering the gardens. Angela drove her to the hospital and was patiently holding onto her hand as Emma held hers in a vice grip. Angela had been so supportive throughout this ordeal. She was a little disappointed that Emma wanted to give up the baby, but she respected her decision.
"Almost done. You're doing a good job, Emma," the doctor praised, throwing her words of encouragement "All you have to do is give one more push, and it's almost over. Push on three," he instructed.
Even with the medicine, having a baby hurt like hell. To not think about the pain, she could only think of Killian's smiling face-the person who should be standing beside her. Her mind couldn't help but drift to the last conversation she had with him about having a baby.
"Three." The doctor began the countdown.
"You really think so...You think I have what it takes to be a mother?" Emma asked Killian, disbelief laced in her tone.
"Two," the doctor continued.
Killian smiled at her in assurance. "I know so. You'll never abandon the child, and one thing I know about you, Emma"- He began confidently, threading his fingers through her hair before he continued- "I have yet to see you fail," he answered her with a whisper.
"One. Push!" The doctor commanded.
She panted, closing her eyes as she pushed. Her vision began to darken. I love you, Killian. She remembered the last thing she said to Killian that day before everything went black
She woke up slowly to soft cries in the room. The vital sign monitor beeped every so often. She rubbed her eyes to wipe the tears from them.
"Mrs. Swan, are you alright?" A voice asked, concern laced in his tone.
Emma blinked her eyes a couple of times to focus her vision. When it cleared, she saw a white lab coat with Dr. Henry Clarke engraved above his right breast pocket. He was the doctor who helped deliver the baby.
"What happened?" Emma asked groggily.
"You temporarily passed out during the delivery," the doctor informed, frowning.
He took a mini light pen and checked her pupils.
"That hurt like hell," Emma commented. Having a baby was painful. She was sure she would never want to experience that pain ever again.
The doctor chuckled. "I could only imagine, but you delivered a healthy baby boy," he said, putting the pen back in his coat pocket.
Soft whimpers caused her to turn her head in the direction. She saw Angela holding the baby. Emma felt a sense of longing to hold the baby.
The doctor's voice knocked her out of her trance.
"Do you want to hold him before we take him away?" He looked at her almost pleadingly. The doctor was trying to guilt trip her into holding the baby. Why did he want to talk her into this task so badly? Holding the baby wouldn't change her decision, and she was going to prove her point.
If that was the case, why did the words sound so wrong coming from the doctor's mouth? Was she really condemning her son to a life similar to hers? She was given up as a baby, and she never got adopted. What if that happened to her son? It wouldn't happen to her son, because he was better off without her. She wanted his best chance. Tears almost rolled down her face at the thought.
She needed to tell her baby why she was giving him up. "Please, let me see him," she begged, trying to keep her resolve.
Angela brought over the small bundle and smiled at Emma hopefully. Her arms handed him gently to Emma. When the baby was cradled in Emma's arms, she gasped. He had her nose and chin. Killian's features were dominant in the baby's face, mouth, and tufts of black hair. She wondered whose eyes he had. Tears were streaming down her face- the boy was beautiful. He had a good combination of Killian and her features, and she felt unconditional love for the little boy. Killian was three hundred years in the past and she would never see him again. The baby in her hand was a reminder of Killian, and that everything she shared with him was real. If Killian was here, she knew what he would have wanted her to decide.
"I change my mind. I want to keep him," Emma answered, gently stroking her baby's cheeks with her fingertips.
The doctor looked relieved and smiled at her genuinely. "The nurse will help you fill out the paperwork, and you can leave with little Killian."
Emma whipped her head to the doctor when she heard the name. Surely, she misheard.
"Killian? " Emma asked for clarification.
"It was the name you said before you passed out. We can change it if you want." The doctor shrugged but was sincere.
Emma really didn't have anything of Killian's to give her son. At least with Killian's name, her son will have something to remember his father.
"It's fine," Emma answered.
The doctor smiled at her and left with a nod.
Seconds later, a peppy nurse walked in after the doctor left. She smiled when she looked at Killian. "Now, we need a middle name and the last name, and I can get you to fill out the rest of the paperwork. So, what will it be?" She asked, clicking the end of the pen.
Emma frowned at the decision laid before her. Couples would have names picked out in advanced. Since Emma didn't plan on keeping Killian at first, she had to make this decision on the fly. She looked at the baby in her hands and debated what the rest of his name would be. She didn't want to call him anything that would get him made fun of in school. Her eyes widened when she realized the importance of her son's name. She could make the rest of his name significant as well. His middle name would be a combination of the other most important man in her life, and the doctor who talked her into keeping him.
"His full name will be Killian Henry-Liam Jones," she told the nurse confidently with a smile.
Next: Interlude- Where the Heart Lies