A/N: Sorry for the lengthy delay. With the holidays and other things, posting will probably be a bit more sporadic until after the New Year. My apologies in advance.
Past: Seven Months Post War
The shuttle lowered to emerald grass underneath a bright denim sky. At the construction site, a pair of workers turned and shielded their faces against the sun as they squinted toward the vehicle, then toward their boss as the man hurried forward.
"Captain Shepard! Captain, Thomas Behan at your service. It is an utter honor to be meeting you, ma'am."
He thrust his hand out toward Del as she stepped off the shuttle, and when she took it he enfolded it with his other hand, shaking it with enthusiastic vigor. Though he was a clear foot taller, he seemed to shrink into a delighted little boy…one who has just met the star of their favorite zero-gravity football team.
"Uh, just Shepard will do, Behan," she said in return.
"Of course, of course! Anything you want! And this must be the lovely Mrs. Shepard! Delighted to meet you!"
He directed this at Liara, as Shepard turned and helped the asari down from the shuttle. Liara gave Del an amused look before nodding politely. Traditionally, asari retained their own surnames after a bonding, and passed those names on to the daughters born of them. In asari eyes, the child Liara was carrying would be born a T'Soni by default, not a Shepard- unless they specifically changed it on the birth notification form that went into the asari genealogical records. Del thought the notion of one spouse taking the other's name was a cute but antiquated ownership practice. She didn't turn a single eyelash at the idea that Liara did not take on her name, as it didn't change their relationship or the feelings they had for one another a single bit.
Other humans, however- especially ones with no real experience with the asari- always tended to assume that Liara was now 'Mrs. Shepard'.
"It is my pleasure," Liara said, not bothering to correct him.
"Well, how about a tour? We're still a week or two away from full completion you understand, but we have temporary quarters for you two set up nearby. They're quite comfortable, if I do say so myself. Top of the line, from Colonial Affairs. As you know Cap…uh, Shepard, every man on this crew is under military non-disclosure, including myself. They've been solidly vetted, so the location of your new home is safe, rest assured. Odd place to pick though, if I might say. This world is scenic but of no real value agriculturally. From what I understand, you could get some minor fishing or algae cultivation from the seas but the cost to implement such an operation would be far more than what you'd hope to harvest. As well, wasn't some kind of nuclear device set off here? They wouldn't have granted a construction permit if this area was dangerous, naturally, and I know there's a very small colony about a hundred kilometers from here-"
"The nuke was set off on the southern continent," Del told him, looking exasperated. "The zone is quarantined. It's perfectly safe here."
Liara seemed only bemused by the man and his rambling, silently following along with her hand in Shepard's as they approached the construction site.
Most of the heavy, dusty work had already been done. As the structure was stick-built to spec and not a prefab, a lot more was involved in its construction. Even so, it had gone up in record time- just another thank-you from the Alliance.
The nearly finished living room was large and airy, sunlight pouring in from massive bay windows turned toward the sea. A hundred yards from the front door, the landscape dropped off in an abrupt slope that lead down to a private, sandy beach. A young, wide-branched tree clung to the crest of this slope, just starting to bud in response to the warmer season.
A few engineers, working on the electrics for the automated systems, looked up from various wall panels. Del ignored their stares, glancing around and trying to envision the finished product.
Behan continued his almost endless spiel as they walked through the house, but as they passed through room after room, Del's expression seemed to grow more and more solemn. After a while, even Behan noticed.
"Is something wrong?" he asked, looking worried. "You don't like it?"
"Oh, no…you're doing a spectacular job," Shepard told him. "I just…if you don't mind, I'd like to speak to my wife alone for a moment?"
"Of course, of course. Take all the time you need."
He left them standing alone in what would be the master bedroom suite. It, too, was filled with sunlight, streaming in warm and cheerful from the large windows. Here, the electronics had been installed, and almost idly, Del wandered over to the control pad and touched it. The glass went opaque, and then transparent again.
Liara moved over, taking her free hand and looking out on the view. Del gave her a faint smile.
"I just realized, I haven't ever had a home before. Not like this," she said.
"You did not consider living with Nan home?"
"No," Del said slowly. "Not really. I stayed there, and she did her best to make me feel comfortable, but…it was always just 'Nan's house' to me, you know? I was only there a couple of years and even then, I was still with the gang. I don't think she really knows, but until I signed up with the Alliance I never stopped running with the Reds. It wasn't living on the streets or bunking in some abandoned building or sleeping under a rail bridge, but the rest was much the same. Petty theft, keeping lookout while some kid from Savon Street got the shit beat out of him…"
"You did not want that life any more, Shepard."
"I know I didn't. I tried. And it was better, after Nan. A hell of a lot better, but…life like that, it doesn't let go easy. Signing up with the Alliance was a kind of desperation. Nan showed me there was something more to life, and the Alliance helped me to find it. Even then…"
She shook her head. Sperry. Fucking Sperry. He'd still managed to haunt her until she'd finally killed the fucker. That was the moment she'd finally, truly gotten free.
"'Then' is in the past. This is now, Shepard. This is your home…with me, and our daughter. A real family, a place where you will always be loved."
Del looked at her softly, the ghost of her old lopsided grin wrinkling the burn scars under her eyepatch. "Yeah," she said, and then reached out, lightly placing her hands on Liara's swelling belly. Seven months in her condition was unmistakable, but she still had another five to go. Unlike humans, the asari's typical gestation was twelve months as Earth kept the calendar.
Crouching, Shepard smiled at Liara and then spoke to her stomach, mocking a serious expression. "You hear that, Little Nub? This is my first real home and it's going to be yours, too. I'll do my best not to muck it up for you, and in return, you need to promise when you're grown you won't be bringing any batarians home-"
"Shepard!" Liara laughed.
"What? I need to lay the ground-rules down now, so there are no misunderstandings."
"You are already concerned with her future love life?"
"Hey, I gotta keep her safe, right? So…" She looked back at the belly. "No batarian boyfriends, Nub. Or girlfriends. No human ones either, come to think about it…in fact, it's probably just safe to assume you can't date until you're at least a Matron-"
"Honestly!" Liara chuckled again, taking Del's hands as she rose to her feet again.
"What?"
"You do not want her to date humans?"
"Of course not!" Del said, aghast. She slid her arms around her bondmate and drew her close, her grin going sly. "I know just how lecherous humans can be, you know."
"Is that so?"
"That, my beautiful Tianlán, is very much so."
Shepard's grin lasted until the kiss began, lingering but still too brief, as both were well aware they could be interrupted at any moment.
As if on cue, barely had they parted than Behan poked his head in, clearing his throat timidly. "Uh…sorry, not to disturb you, Captain, but there seems to be some question about the play-wall in the nursery?"
"What question?" Del asked.
"Well, it says in the specs that you want it wired for full interaction and for vid link but…did you want the entire landscape package with the ceiling weather/astronomy suite, or-"
"Ok, hang on right there," Del said, holding up a hand. "Li?"
"You go," she said with a smile. "I'll stay here and enjoy the view a moment longer."
"You sure?"
When Liara nodded, Del ducked in and kissed her cheek lightly, before following Behan out. Stroking a hand over her stomach, Liara looked out on the Virmire coast.
"Is he still out there somewhere, darling?" she asked softly. "Is he watching over us, do you suppose?"
The baby couldn't really answer, of course, though Liara was constantly aware of the warm, cheerful, radiating light that was the child's growing spirit. Liara's expression grew a little sad as she thought of Kaidan, and the day they had lost him on this very world. It was part of the reason she had suggested coming here to Shepard. Thessia and most of the asari worlds were still in ruins. She helped as much as she was able with her still-existent Shadow Broker contacts, but being there right now in person…she did not have the emotional energy for that, not yet. Shepard was not the only one to be wrung dry from the war, and while Liara had no doubt whatsoever that they would end up once more in the thick of things- end up helping more directly with the recovery of Earth and Thessia and all the other worlds ravaged by the Reapers- right now, perhaps selfishly, they needed to leave it be.
Returning her attention to the child within her, she smiled softly. Already, she felt an extraordinary, almost overwhelming love for the little life they had created. She knew that Shepard felt it too, but there was a hesitant distance as well- a timidity.
"I think your Bába is afraid, darling," she said. "She had no love as a child, but the very fact that she is worried she will be a bad parent to you only proves that she will not be. She will love you with all her being, and she will keep you safe and happy, no matter what she must sacrifice to do so. You will be her Little Nub from the moment she first holds you, until the very end of time."
Present: 217 Years Post War
"I won," Shepard said insistently.
"You did not win, you left it at a tie," Liara replied, setting the small bowl of cut fruit down in front of Lily, who was perched in her secure seat. The infant immediately grabbed a slice, chewing on it with copious amounts of drool. Irie, reaching over to her daughter with a napkin, exchanged an amused look with Mel and Dae, shaking her head.
"What tie?" Del asked, and patted the table lightly. "Who's still sitting here, hmm? I may be old and have less than half a marble rolling around in my god-…forsaken head, but I'm here, he's not. I won."
"I'm with Mama," Irie said. "Uncle Wrex was nearly a thousand years old when he met you. You cannot use the fact that he passed on before you as the basis that you won the bet. I have heard the story countless times, and your one and only fist-fight ended in a tie-"
"You're kidding right?" Melara jumped in, scowling at her sister. "Bába thoroughly thrashed his a-…rear! I saw the vid-"
"While I appreciate the fact that you both are at least somewhat civilized enough to watch your language in front of Lily, you are still as incorrect as incorrect can be," Irie said.
"Blasphemy," Del snorted, picking at her food. "Sheer and utter blasphemy."
"Oh yeah, Braincase?" Melara said to her sister. "Prove it!"
"Prove it? You watched the vid, remember? Bába herself calls the draw. They were both so thrashed they could barely stand-"
"Exactly! Bába was still on her feet after fighting hand-to-hand with a krogan warlord! I'd call that winning, considering she was fighting with a severe handicap-"
"Handicap?" Del said, looking up at her daughters.
"That is quite enough," Liara said, setting down the final dish. "I did not tolerate squabbling at my table when you two were small and I will not tolerate it now that you are both well over your first century. That is enough of this silly conversation."
She took her own seat, feeling fingers slide over her hand as she did. Gripping Del's hand tightly, she hoped the shaking in her own was not noticed. However they might pretend that this was simply another family gathering, the truth of things was ever-present at the back of her mind.
Time had seemed to vanish so suddenly. It felt as if it were only hours ago that Irie and Mel were small, having to sit in their own boosters to reach the table. At night, sometimes, Liara would wake in confusion, wondering why she was not in the Nest on the Normandy, or in her bed on the Broker ship over Hagalaz. Worse- and more common, the last few days- was when she would expect to see her bedroom on Nos Astra, reaching out for a form that was not there, weeping as she prayed to the Goddess that the Illusive Man would truly be able to bring Del back.
There was no coming back this time. Until the reality of it had been presented, Liara had always been positive she could handle it with grace…this inevitable parting. They had finally gotten their time together, two centuries of it. They had finally gotten their peace, their family. Losing Shepard to old age had seemed such an impossibility way back then, when just being a marine was an almost guaranteed early death.
Surely, after all they had faced- and grieved though she might be- she could better deal with the parting just so long as it came from age, from the natural course of her lifespan.
Now that it was here, however, she felt like a terror-stricken child again, hopelessly fumbling and falling apart. For Del and the sake of their daughters, she was doing her best to bear up, to put on that smile and be strong, but she feared it was wearing through the cracks. Irie, at least, had seen it. Melara would hide it better, but Liara had no doubt she had seen it as well.
In their own sweet way, they were trying to help. The familiar bickering, the jokes, all designed to help distract her from that sinking inevitability. She loved them for it, but distractions were not enough.
Del and Liara both did little more than just stir their food around. When she cleared the plates with Daenys' help, Liara noticed that none of the three younger asari had truly eaten much, either. Only Lily, far too young to understand, had eaten with any appetite.
Shepard went into the living room with Irie and Melara, reaching out for Lily as she sat down. The toddler was yawning, clearly sleepy, and Irie had been about to lay her down in her pen.
"Are you sure, Bába?"
"Course I'm sure. C'mon, give'er."
Irie carefully moved Lily into Del's lap, the baby quite contented to snuggle under her grandmother's arm with her hanar toy, popping her thumb firmly in her mouth and dozing almost instantly. Del brushed a hand over her little crest affectionately, and looked at Irie. "She sucks her thumb, just like you did."
Irie colored a little, sitting down as well. Melara smirked, but said nothing. Del gave a weary sigh, settling a bit deeper into her chair. Irie looked at her hesitantly a moment as Shepard's free hand wandered to her shirt pocket, and then away again with an irritated grump.
"Haven't smoked in four years, and I still keep reaching for them," she said, then regarded her eldest child. "I'm so sorry we couldn't come when she was born, Irie-"
"No, no. You have nothing to be sorry for, Bába."
"I got a hell of a lot to be sorry for, Irie. I suppose nearly everyone who gets to be my age ends up being sorry for some silly thing or another, no matter the species." A brief pause, then, "She's got her Dad's eyes, I see."
"Yes," Irie said with a fond smile. "He sends his best wishes. He so wanted to be here, to see you again."
Shepard grunted with a smirk. "After what I put him through? Not a chance."
"Despite what you put him through, Bába, he is very fond of you."
"Then he's a goddamn loon," Shepard told her. "You married a goddamn loon, Nub."
Irie smiled, arching a brow. "Is it not a human saying, that a girl tends to fall for a man that reminds her of her father?"
"That'd be funny, were I a man and you a human, Nub."
It did not escape Shepard how quiet Mel was being. She had always been a rather contemplative child. Del supposed that if things had been different in her own childhood- had she had a proper upbringing and the love of a family- she herself would have been much the same. Instead, she had learned to funnel her anger and temper into directed bursts, controlled rages. While Mel had a temper, it was far more in the normal and healthy realm than Del's had ever been.
Mel had always seemed keenly aware that she was not as scholastic as her mother and sister. Where Irie sailed through her academics with brilliant scores in mathematics and astrophysics, Mel had done no better than average. As a child, books had seemed to stymie her, and she would take nearly four times as long to get through an assigned reading course than Irie did.
More than once, Del could remember finding her youngest hiding in her room, sitting in that shadowed space between her bed and her wall. She would always deny she had been crying. Usually, it was an instructor, or a fellow student that was the cause- either innocently or malevolently bringing up Irie's accomplishments and wondering why Melara's were not quite up to par.
It never failed to infuriate Shepard. She and Liara never compared the two girls, knowing full well that both were wonderful and incredible in their own right, and she always felt the urge to punch a set of teeth in when some outsider would laude one over the other, especially to their faces.
Truth was, Melara was incredibly smart…just not where it came to academics. There was no strategy game they could play in the house that Melara would not win. Given a set of logistics, she could immediately identify weaknesses, strengths, and points of concern. She knew more about explosives, weapons, and tactical warfare than Del herself did…and she was an incredibly smooth talker.
Once, beset upon by assassins, Del had managed to kill all three using only her wits and a toilet seat. Shepard had no doubt that, were she confronted by the same scenario, Melara would talk two of the assassins into shooting each other and the third into begging her pardon.
In public or during the course of her work, it was Mel's nature to sit back and be quiet, listen carefully to everything presented without question or argument. Then, she would take whatever topic or entangled mess that needed fixing and swiftly, decidedly, correctly- fix it.
Among family, however, she had long outgrown her reticence. She was something of a smartass (Del still blamed Joker for that, though he had professed innocence to the grave), talkative and charming and always able to see humor in everything. That Irie was the one carrying the conversation, with Mel a silent observer, told Del more about how Melara was feeling right now than anything else could have.
Liara seemed to sense her youngest daughter's melancholy as well, for the moment she and Daenys returned from the kitchen, she sat down beside her and took Mel's hand.
"We heard of your latest tour, Irie," Daenys said as she sat nearby. "I swear you can't turn on any feed from the Citadel to Thessia without seeing you."
They discussed Irie's music for a few minutes, before Liara patted Mel's knee and got to her feet, walking over to the chair where Del sat with Lily, both now fast asleep. Carefully laying the chair back into a recline, she accepted a blanket from Irie and gently draped it over the pair. When she reached out and lightly brushed a hand over Del's cheek, it didn't escape Melara when her fingers lingered slightly longer beside her lips, her hand trembling faintly as she determined that her love was still breathing.
Mel got to her feet, nodding at Irie, who gently took Liara's arms.
"It is a lovely day," Irie said with a smile. "I feel like a walk outside, on the beach. The fresh air would do me some good I think. Let Bába and Lily enjoy their nap together."
"I-I should-"
"You should go with Irie and take a walk," Melara said, touching her mother's shoulder. "Dae and I will stay here and keep an eye on things, don't worry."
"I do not think-"
"Go, before you wake them both up with your fussing," Melara said firmly. "It'll be fine, Mama."
Reluctantly, Liara let her eldest lead her out of the house, pausing at the threshold of the front door and glancing back a moment before the door slid shut. Despite the warmth of the day, she seemed to shrink in a bit, as if it were cold. Gently, Irie took her hand.
"Come on, Mama."
Together, the two asari walked toward the slope, and the well-worn path that lead down to the sea.