A/N: Vanitas's POV. I wanted to write something about Vani, and then I wondered what his connection to Ventus is in this universe, and somehow I came up with this. I don't even know. Vani is an attention-loving brat. :P

Vanitas is eight, Ven is fifteen, and Aqua's sixteen. Takes place in the Knight family's huge living room, which seems like the setting for a lot of my plunnies in this universe.

Ventus was so weird. I didn't like him. I'd seen him before, a lot actually, but this was my first time seeing him without Aqua in hearing range.

I bounced up next to him on the couch. "You're weird."

"Huh?" He looked at me like he hadn't noticed me before. I jumped into his lap so he would have to pay attention to me. What was he thinking about when he was staring into space earlier, anyway? Probably something dumb.

"I said you're weird, idiot."

He just stared like I was the weird one. Why was Aqua friends with this loser? He was probably just as stupid as Terra, and that was saying something.

"You look like Xion's friend, Rock-something," I tried to get a reaction out of him. "I bet you're his evil clone." Pfft, like someone so dumb could pull off evil.

"Roxas?" He asked, still looking stupid with that clueless face. I nodded, rolling my eyes.

"Yeah, that's what I said." Stupid.

"He's my cousin, but we do look almost the same…" He rubbed the back of his head. "Y'know, if he wasn't a year younger than me he could be my clone. Wonder if cousins are supposed to look that much alike. I mean, neither of us looks that much like Sora-"

Now he was talking too much. Did this idiot know anything? He was supposed to be paying attention to me, not rambling about stuff I didn't care about. "My cousin Xigbar doesn't look like any of us, except he has the same eyes as me and Saïx. Well he has the same eye, 'cause Saïx cut up his other one so he wears a cool eyepatch now."

Ventus gaped. I could've shoved Flood in there, his mouth was so wide open. "Your brother took out a guy's eye?"

I shrugged. "And gave him a huge scar, but Xigbar deserved it. He's a jerk. He scarred up Saïx's face first."

"Huh?" Ventus was still gaping. It was pretty hilarious, honestly. "What happened?"

I grinned, climbing off of Ventus now that he was paying attention to me. "We were at Uncle Xehanort's house – he's a creepy psycho, but he got me Flood for Christmas so I don't hate him too much – but anyway, we were there 'cause Dad wanted to talk to Xehanort, so we had to play with our cousins Xemnas and Xigbar outside. Their yard is huge, but it's full of junk and really dusty and hot. Plus Xemnas is boring like Saïx, so they just sat around and wouldn't do anything.

"Xigbar was the only one who would play with me, but Aqua and Saïx and Xion hate him so I didn't want to play with him. I had to bother Xion until she played tag with me, and then Xigbar butted in anyway and started being a jerk to her."

"I'm glad Roxas and Sora are better cousins than him," Ventus interrupted, so I glared at him.

"Don't interrupt or I'll sic Flood on you."

"Who's Flood?"

I sighed like Saïx does when he says I'm being "insufferable." He probably just likes saying "insufferable." And sighing. I bet that's why his name is Sigh-ax.

"He's my hamster, I said that already." I rolled my eyes. "Now shut up, I'm telling the story." If I didn't finish soon, Aqua would finish getting ready and Terra would show up and they'd all leave to wherever they were going.

Unlike Xion and Saïx, Ventus actually listened! Maybe he's not such an idiot after all. Maybe.

"Anyway, then Aqua got mad at Xigbar for bothering Xion, and then Xigbar said something mean to Aqua that I didn't completely get but I still would've kicked his butt for it, only Saïx did first."

Ventus looked really mad. "I would've kicked his butt, too."

I laughed. He thought he could kick Xigbar's butt? Saïx had to have help, and he was in his berserker-rage. Besides, Aqua didn't need wimpy Ventus to stand up for her. "Aqua would've kicked his butt better than you."

"Yeah…" He turned really red. Almost as red as Xion gets when I push her buttons, but he didn't look mad anymore. "She's always been stronger than me…"

I don't think he meant me to hear that, but then he shouldn't have said anything.

"Aqua's the best," I said seriously. Then I got an idea and grinned. "I bet you've got a crush on her."

He looked so shocked his eyeballs almost popped out of his face! It reminded me a little bit of when I told Saïx about Xion's crush, only Saïx didn't react as much. It was still funnier because Saïx is Saïx, though. Any reaction out of him is priceless.

Ventus shook his head violently. "I don't have a crush on Aqua!"

"Well you should, 'cause she's the best. And she's really pretty, too." He should love her, not that I would let him. Aqua's mine. Still, I wasn't going to pass up a chance to tease Ventus.

"Well yeah, of course she's pretty…" His face got really red again, even redder than before.

I jumped up and down on the couch like Dad always says not to. "Hah! I knew it! Ventus loves Aqua, Ventus lo-"

Suddenly he tackled me to the other side of the couch, covering my mouth.

"Shh, she'll hear you!" He yell-whispered. His eyes darted back and forth in panic. "I don't have a crush on her! She's like my sister!"

My eyes narrowed, and I squirmed out from under him. "Then why are you so red?" I challenged. And Aqua couldn't be his sister, either. She's my sister. She doesn't need any brothers besides me and Saïx, and she especially doesn't need anyone having a crush on her.

He sat back with a sigh. "…Because I used to think I did. I don't, really, and you can't tell her."

He might've looked like a wimp before, but his face almost looked scary now. Almost. I wasn't scared of him. But there wasn't any reason to tell Aqua, anyway, it would probably just make her feel bad or something, and I didn't want her to feel bad, even over an idiot like Ventus.

"Whatever, it doesn't matter anyway. She's mine, and I don't have to share her with anyone but Xion and Saïx." I stuck my tongue out at him.

He stared at me the same way he did when I first started talking to him, then smiled a little. "Believe me, I'm not taking her from you."

"Good." I glared at him. "'Cause she can love me and Xion and Saïx and Dad and nobody else."

Ventus scooted away from me. "I think Aqua has a big enough heart for more than just you guys."

I frowned. She did have a lot of friends… But she couldn't love anyone else more than me. She's my sister, and I wouldn't give her up to anyone, ever.

"Hmph. Well, I'll let you stay her friend, but that's it." I crossed my arms.

His smile finally exploded into a laugh.

"What?" I challenged. "Don't laugh at me!"

"I'm not, I'm not," he said, laughing more.

"You're lying! I'll sic Flood on you!"

"No, please! Have mercy!" He was still laughing!

"Then stop and tell me what's funny!"

He messed up my hair just as Aqua walked down the stairs, looking princessy in her blue skirt. Where was she going with Ventus and Terra that she had to dress up for?

"I was laughing because, uh, you're right."

"Right about what?" Aqua asked. Ventus whirled around, saw her, and panicked.

"Um- that-"

I ran up and jumped into her arms. "That Ventus can be your friend."

She looked between me and him like we were crazy. "Why wouldn't he be?"

I opened my mouth, then shut it. Ventus could jump off a cliff for all I cared, but like I said earlier, I didn't want Aqua to feel bad.

Ventus answered instead. "We'll always be friends, right?"

Aqua smiled and pulled him into our hug.

"Ven, you're more than my friend. You're practically my brother."

Ventus smiled. Aqua smiled more. They both squished me uncomfortably.

I pouted. Aqua just had to adopt other brothers.

Her heart better be big enough for all of us.

A/N: I have a lot of notes on this chapter…

For the record, I don't like VenQua. In canon she's like his mommy; in this fic she's like his sister. In my headcanon Ven thought he had a small crush on her for a little while, though, mostly because in canon he didn't know any other girls for so long, and in this fic because I carried it over from my canon!headcanon (does that even make sense?) and they were such close friends. Ven was being honest about not actually having a crush on her, though.

Vanitas is very possessive of his siblings. Judging by how he is here when Ven doesn't even really have a crush on Aqua, you can probably tell how things will go in the main story when he finds out about Xion's date with Axel and Aqua's date with Terra. Saïx's date with Jasmine, too, but he's not as close to Saïx as he is to his sisters. Vanitas is also a hypocrite.

I hope Ven's not too OOC in this; it was hard to figure out how he'd deal with Vani. He only listens to Vani because he knows it's pointless to argue with an eight-year-old.

The original plunny for this was Vani's comment about Ven having a crush on Aqua, and then I wove this chapter around that.

Now I know how Saïx got his scars in this universe! Thank you Vanitas~ Now I have another chapter idea; looks like I'm going to be running myself in circles getting more and more plunnies for this fic… And I still haven't finished the semi-AkuShi chapter I had intended to kick this fic off with. *sweatdrop*