Cottia drifted slowly up from her bubble of sleep. She sighed and snuggled down into the nest of blankets. She felt better than she ever had, more concentrated and able to control her thoughts. She opened one eye slightly. Where was she? It was warm and there was a flickering light all around her. She turned her head.

"Good. You're awake," said a voice. It was a nice voice. Someone bent over her. She smiled as a fuzzy face came into focus. It was Merlin. "How are you feeling?"

He helped her untangle herself from the big grey blanket and sit up. "You woke up a few hours ago and made yourself a little nest and then went back to sleep. Does your head feel all right?"

"It feels awesome. I can think now." She blinked in the light. The lantern she had noticed earlier on the low table was alight now. "That's awfully bright."

"The portal has been depressing the sensory sections of your brain. Everything will be more intense until you adjust." He carefully opened the lantern and pinched out two of the candles. "Is that better?"

She stared at him, still half asleep. "You didn't have to do that. Isn't it too dark for you now?"

Interesting, he thought. She can see the other person's point of view. I did not expect that. "That's all right. I don't want to overload your brain. Are you hungry?"

She nodded and then yawned and stretched. She looked like a little cat, all arching muscles and spiky teeth. Then she shivered and huddled back into the blanket. "What time is it?" she said absently.

"Nearly the seventh bell. It's dark outside. I have dinner almost ready; why don't you stay and eat and then I will take you back to Alice's quarters."

Cottia smiled at him. "That sounds good."

He left her sitting upright on the couch and went back to set the table. He pulled the extra chair around from the lab end of the table and set out two plates and cups. Cottia limped over to the table. He noticed that her limp was considerably worse than it had been earlier. She sat down quickly, leaning heavily on the table.

"Is your wound acting up?"

Cottia shrugged. "I walked a lot today. It's sore. I suppose I need to use it to keep it from stiffening up."

As they ate, he noticed her eyes flicking over the equipment on the rest of the table and around the crowded shelves. "Is my clutter driving you mad?" he asked, grinning.

A faint tinge of a blush crept into her cheeks. "I was wondering how you manage to find anything when you want it," she said bluntly. It took him aback; he had expected her to deny it.

"It's starting to get out of control," he admitted. "I can't seem to keep it organized, though."

There was a wistful gleam in her big eyes as she gazed at the shelves again. He watched her for a few minutes, and then he couldn't resist it any longer. "You want to organize them, don't you?"

She nodded. "You'd have to explain what all those jars of things are for me to work out a system."

He had been turning over an idea in his mind for several minutes. "Do you like working for Alice? What does she have you do?"

"Mostly hand her things. And put labels on the medicine bottles. And tear up fabric for bandages. Why?"

"Would you be interested in learning how to put the medicines together?"

She looked thoughtful and bit her bottom lip. "What is it like? Chemistry?"

"Pretty much. You have to be very accurate about weights, and have a good memory." He watched her.

"I could do that," she said, returning his gaze squarely for the first time during their conversation. "Why?"

"What are you going to do once the library is clean? Geoffrey can run it on his own once it is back in order."

She shrugged and her gaze dropped. She suddenly looked a little lost.

"If you are willing to stick with it, I could take you on as my apprentice."

Her head came up, a speculative look crossing her face. "What exactly would I have to do?"

"Help me make medicines, deliver them, and gather the ingredients for them. Lots of horseback riding and wandering around in the forest in the wet and the cold."

"All right," she said after a long pause. "I think I would like that. I don't know how to ride, though."

"I'll teach you. Or one of the knights will teach you. You'll absolutely have to learn anyway if you want to live here."

"I would like that," she said again. "Where would I live?"

"Uh, well, that's the part you might not like. You'd have to live here, I think. It's usual for apprentices to live in their master's chambers." He pointed to the door by the screen. "I have a spare room. It's probably bigger than the one you've got now."

A little half-smile tugged up one corner of her mouth, making her eyes narrow and twinkle. "I'm very grateful that Alice made space for me, but I think your cupboard is bigger."

He laughed, but he looked at her curiously. "But it wouldn't bother you to live here with me? I'd give you your privacy," he added.

"No," she said simply. "I like it here." She looked around. "It's safe, like a little shell."

"And could you work with me?"

The half-smile reappeared. "Rooms are like their residents. I think it will work. Just don't expect me to be chatty. My words get stuck in my head."

Merlin smiled back. He couldn't help it. She looked like a little cat. "I won't expect you to be perfect. Just do your best."

She nodded. "I have to finish the library, though."

"Of course," he said quickly. "And you don't have to move in here until you're ready."

0000

When Merlin took Cottia back to Alice's chambers, she went straight to bed. He stayed to talk to Alice.

"I want to take Cottia on as my apprentice," he said. "I think she'd be good at it, and it will solve some of the - logistical problems."

Alice nodded slowly. "Yes, I think that is a good idea. She seems like a good person, though. She's stubborn, but quite teachable if taught the right way."

"Have you seen the scars on her back? I noticed them while I was taking her portal out."

"Yes, I've seen them. Poor girl."

"But she escaped even after that. She has a strong spirit."

"Under the caution? Definitely. You'll need to get her confidence. If she learns to trust you, that will make it easier for her to trust Arthur."

"But I don't want her to know that I'm watching her because of her record."

"Of course not!" Alice said emphatically. "She deserves a chance, even if we keep her under close observation." She looked at him curiously. "Will you take her in or do you want her to stay with me?"

"I told her she would have to move into my chambers." He hesitated. "I don't want to be mean, but you're just too busy to keep an eye on her. To talk to her, and to spend slack time with her."

Alice nodded seriously. "I know. I don't have the energy to keep both an infirmary and a foster daughter. But I'll still keep up with her."

"Good," said Merlin. He still looked a little puzzled. "She wasn't embarrassed at all about living with me. I mean, apprentices usually live with their masters, but they're usually not -"

"She's very naïve about some things," said Alice. She looked sharply at Merlin. "That could be a possible complication. You'll have to watch out for that. Don't let her even start idolizing you."

"She wouldn't," Merlin said, embarrassed. Alice regarded him with a smile.

"You underestimate yourself. Apart from being a very clever young man, you are also very handsome. So set your boundaries with her and keep them. You don't have to be chilly, but don't encourage her."

"I won't let her - I'll make sure she doesn't - I have no intention of -"

"I'm not saying you do. But you've never been a seventeen-year-old girl, and I have." Alice smiled at him. "Don't be self-conscious about it. Just treat her like a human and not like a woman."

Merlin frowned for a few seconds, and then he smiled. "I understand."

0000

Alice didn't bring up the subject of Cottia's prospective apprenticeship the next morning, but it was almost the first thing the girl mentioned. "How soon do you think he wants me to move in?" she asked while they were eating breakfast. Alice considered, her head on one side.

"Well, he does need someone to help him. His days are pretty full with both looking after the King and being the only apothecary for miles around. He's the only person who knows where some of the rarer herbs are. So I think that the sooner you start helping him, the better. But you can't abandon your work in the library."

Cottia looked shocked. "I'll finish that, of course. But when should I move?"

"Why don't you run over and see him when you've finished in the library for today? He's usually in in the afternoons. You can ask him when he wants you." Alice got up and began to pack her bag for the day. "If you ever need space when you've moved out, you can always come spend a night here."

Cottia looked genuinely puzzled. "I like him. He's peaceful."

Alice sighed. "Sometimes you just need a change, even from being with your best friend. So if you need someone else to talk to or somewhere else to go, I will be here."

"How did he learn to be a doctor if he was the King's servant?" Cottia asked, her mind wandering.

"He came to Camelot as a boy of about your age, and he lived with a friend of his mother's, who was a doctor. He learned quite a lot from Gaius before the kingdom fell asleep."

"What happened to him? His teacher, I mean."

"I don't know," said Alice sadly. "I came back from living in a little village to take his place by the request of the King. When everyone woke up, Gaius was gone. I used to know him, too."

"Maybe he woke up early and went somewhere else," Cottia suggested. She got up and limped to the door. "I don't think Geoffrey will do much today. If he doesn't have anything for me to do, do you want me to come back?"

"Go see if Merlin has something for you to do. You may as well start early."

0000

When Cottia arrived at the big doors into the library, they were locked. Too late, she remembered what Merlin had said about persuading Geoffrey to take a few days off. She tugged on the doors one last time and turned away, frowning. Oh well. Alice had said to get off to a good start with her apprenticeship. She wandered through the castle to the west tower.

The stairs were steep and they made her leg hurt. She had to take them very slowly, one step at a time. But she made it to the second floor and knocked on Merlin's door. He opened it and looked surprised to see her.

"The library is closed," she said. "So I thought that if you need me . . ."

He beckoned her in. The table was in a worse mess than yesterday, she noticed. "Sure, you can help me. So you definitely want to work for me?"

She nodded eagerly. "Yes. I do."

As she came further into the room, she realized that she could hear music playing - not the kind of music she had heard on the streets in the town. This was different. Merlin saw her looking curiously around.

"That's a nice invention I've taken from the history of your world. It hasn't really caught on with anyone else, though." He pointed to a little black metal and glass rectangle. It was lying on a shelf and attached to some more black boxes with mesh fronts by a long wire. Cottia stared.

"I saw a picture of that once in the history book. That's what people had to carry around before they invented portals, isn't it?"

"It's called an iPod. Technically, that's the brand name, but it worked its way into the language as a colloquial term for any portable music player. I hope you don't mind it. I usually have something playing."

She shook her head. "It's such different music from the kind everyone listens to there now. Now it's all carefully worked out to create moods. This is - this is landscapes. Stories told by notes along with words."

"I'm glad you like it."

They spent the morning making up lots of little bottles of tinctures and ointments. Cottia had never dreamed there were so many different kinds of plants.

For the sake of making conversation, Merlin asked her as they worked, "What did you think of the storm last night?"

She looked blank. "I didn't notice it. I hate storms, so I'm glad."

"You were probably dead asleep. How are you feeling today? I didn't expect you to be about."

"Fine. Things are still awfully bright and loud, but I'm getting used to it."

"Good," he said, handing her a bowl full of a bubbling liquid. "You've recovered the fastest of anyone I've ever removed a portal from."

He definitely needs someone to clean up this mess, she thought, watching him search for a plate he had put down about five minutes before.

"Why do you keep your equipment all mixed up on the shelves with the ingredients?" she asked.

He frowned. "I don't know. I've never really thought about it. It just has to be close."

"You could keep two or three shelves just for tools and use the rest of them for everything else," she said, regarding the two closest bays of shelves with a critical eye. "And you really should keep the books you keep looking up the recipes in in a bookshelf, not just flung into the regular shelves. You're getting them dirty."

"Then why don't you get started sorting everything out while I go and deliver these? Just be careful and don't break anything." He had noted her steady hands with approval.

When he came back, she had swept the two rows of shelves she had been looking at bare and refilled them. All his tools were now on three of the shelves, and the books were lined up neatly on another. She had not organized the ingredients, because, as she explained, she could not sort them until she knew what they were all for.

She'll do, he thought, and then saw her hopeful expression and altered the thought to, she'll be good at this.

He said much the same to Arthur a few days later when the King asked him what he thought of her.

"She's careful with things, and doesn't get excited. She takes orders pretty well, and is willing to learn."

Arthur looked interested. "According to all the information we have on her from the Other Side, she's an anarchist in the making."

"I don't see that," Merlin said flatly. "She's very anxious to please. She flinches at every sudden movement. Yeah, she has opinions, but nothing radical, and she'll listen to logic."

Arthur tapped his pen thoughtfully on the desk in front of him. "Where is she living?"

"With Alice."

"Get her to move in with you. I want her watched more closely than that. Does she seem to mind the idea?"

"No, she fairly jumped at it," Merlin said emphatically. "Didn't hesitate for a second."

Arthur nodded. "Well, I don't think she's turning out to be as dangerous as her reputation, but it never hurts to take precautions. Thanks, Merlin, that's all."

Merlin began to leave, but he turned in the doorway to say, "I think that if she can learn to trust you, she will be a valuable asset to you."

"Perhaps, Merlin. We'll see."

0000

Geoffrey was well enough for the work in the library to resume on the following day, and Cottia could only spend an hour or so in the evening with Merlin. He used it to teach her the names and uses of the most common healing herbs.

She finished looking over the page of illustrations in the big book of botany and gazed up at him hopefully. "Did I get it right?" she asked timidly.

"Yes," he said reassuringly. "You're doing really well. Don't try to cram it all in. Eventually it will be instinctive." He shut the book. "Do you want to look at the spare room? You'll be done with the library in a week or so, and you really should move over here soon."

Cottia nodded eagerly and followed him over to the door on the right side of the room nearest the windows. He unlocked it with a small key.

The room was medium-sized, with the outer wall curved like the one in the main room. There were two tall narrow windows in this room, with wooden shutters in addition to the glass panes. There was a bed and a chest and a table in it, and nothing else.

"It's lots bigger than my room now," she said, drifting over to the window and looking out. There was a view of the town and the moat below, and beyond that, the fields and the forest and the setting sun. "If you don't mind having me, I do like it here."

"No, I don't mind having you. And you needn't be grateful, either. I need an assistant and you need a job. So you don't have to feel like you owe me anything." Where had that come from, he wondered. But it was true. He didn't mind her company, and he didn't want her to feel like she had to act a part for him.

She had turned away from the window and was looking up at him with surprise. "I didn't think anyone else understood that," she said. "How tiring gratitude is after a while."

He handed her the key to the room, and smiled at her. "When you want to, bring your things. It doesn't matter to me how soon it is."

She brought them the very next day.