Gwen came to Merlin's rooms later that night, with a big basket. When she came in, she glanced around quickly.
"Is Cottia here?"
"She's asleep. Do you want her?"
"No, no," Gwen said quickly. "I was hoping she wouldn't be here."
"Why?" Merlin courteously took the basket from her.
"That's the jacket, and a few other things. But I'd prefer it if she didn't know they're from me."
"Why not?"
"Merlin, she doesn't have much. I know how that feels. It's humiliating to always have to accept charity."
He looked at Gwen thoughtfully. "I see. What should I tell her?"
"That they're just standard issue? I don't know. Invent something plausible. You've lied enough for Arthur to have some good experience. But you may have to alter them a little more." Gwen opened the basket and they looked in. "I found some of the clothes Arthur wore when he was a boy. I think she'll fit the ones I picked out. And there's a dress I don't need anymore. And then -" She lifted out the clothes she had mentioned and revealed what was underneath. "She could use these, couldn't she? She's a bit shorter and thinner, but I think they'll be perfect. It's not like anyone else will ever use them."
Merlin looked down. It was a light chain mail tunic. The links were much finer and closer than the usual stuff the knights wore, and it had a lower neckline with a wide collar. There was also a belt, about six inches wide, made of strips of metal. He recognized it instantly. "I don't suppose anyone ever will," he agreed. "Funny, I hadn't thought of it, but she is just about the same as Morgana, isn't she? Shorter and thinner, but much the same in build.''
"And if Cottia ever needs a formal dress, there are lots, still packed up in chests. And all Morgana's jewels."
"Not that she will. But it's good of you to let her have these."
0000
It was just after dawn, and wisps of fog were floating just above the ground. Cottia sat on the cold steps and waited for the rest of the patrol to come out. Merlin sat beside her.
She had a horse of her own now. It was a small, placid, dainty filly. She was dark brown with a cream mane and tail. Cottia had named her Goldberry, because she had just struggled to that chapter in the Red Book. It was strange how much the language had changed since it was written.
The air was cold and damp. Cottia shivered and drew her new jacket more closely around herself. She liked it very much. It was leather, and lined with dark fur. And she liked her new boots. They looked like Merlin's except that his had three buckles and hers had two.
He had explained the path of the patrol to her. They weren't going to go around the actual border of the kingdom. That would take weeks. But the castle was in pretty much the exact middle of the kingdom, and the kingdom was shaped like a circle. They were going to ride out in a wide circle and visit little guard posts that were all set about a day away from the border. From there, the King could decide if he needed to go all the way to the border to deal with any incidents, and it also kept the guards' morale up.
"Here they come," said Merlin, standing up. The King came down the steps. Sir Leon and Sir Percival followed him. That was why there were only five horses in the square, Cottia thought.
"Where are the others?" she asked as Merlin helped her mount.
"We'll pick them up at the gate. Only two knights are coming this time. The others are needed here."
The Queen came to the top of the steps and waved as they clattered away. The horses' hooves were shockingly loud on the stones.
Six more men joined them at the town gate. They wore chain mail like the King and the knights, but not the red cloaks. They formed a column behind the King, riding in pairs. Cottia and Merlin were at the back.
They rode through the forest for about half the day before coming to the first guard post. Cottia looked around it, interested. It was just a little stone tower, about the size of the one Merlin's chambers were in. The King was busy talking to the guards in the main hall. She noticed that some of them were staring at her.
"Why are they staring at me?" she asked Merlin as they set off to find the next tower.
"They don't expect to see a girl on patrol," he said.
"Why not?"
"Most girls around here don't ride with knights."
Cottia frowned. "Then why am I? You're acting like I'm a boy. Why?"
"Why not?" Merlin countered. "You're more intelligent than most boys your age, you're quicker, and you have more stability."
"What does that mean?"
"It means you aren't always trying to prove you're tough."
"I still don't get it," Cottia complained.
"Watch the boys in training to be fighters when we get back home. You'll see."
0000
They were halfway between guard posts when they stopped for the night. It was a lot simpler than Cottia had expected. The King just stopped, looked around, and said, "We'll camp here." And everyone got off their horses and unpacked their bags. Two of the men-at-arms led the horses off and fed them, and the others started a fire near the open patch of ground they were tethered in.
Merlin started another fire further back in the trees, and the King and both knights settled down beside it. Apparently, there were two camps.
"So what do you think?"
Cottia looked up, startled. The King was talking to her. "About what?"
"This." He waved a hand vaguely around them. They were all leaning back against the trunks of fallen trees, and the firelight created the sensation of being in a room. Above them, through the leaves, stars shone brightly.
"It's cold."
"Yeah, that's normal. What about the guard posts?"
"Well - why are they so far away from the border?"
He nodded, and she got the feeling that she had passed some kind of test. "This used to be the border. Then it moved to a half day away, and then a full day. So you think they need to be closer?"
"Yes." She watched Arthur as he poked the fire idly with a long twig.
"We could do it if we had the men," said Leon.
They got into a very technical discussion. Merlin sat a little way back from the light and watched Cottia. She was listening intently. He wondered what Arthur was planning on doing with her. He seemed to think she was some kind of weapon in the making, to be used against the intruders from the Other Side.
0000
Cottia woke up in the middle of the night. The fire had died away to almost nothing. She could barely see the dark shape beside her that was Merlin, curled up asleep in his cloak like her, although she could hear him breathing. It comforted her. Arthur and Leon and Percival were shinier shapes on the other side of the fire. Good grief, how do they sleep in their armor? she wondered.
There was another dark shape standing a little way off. It was the sentry, she realized. But he hadn't woken her. Something else had. She moved a little closer to Merlin and went back to sleep.
She dreamed of a dip in the ground. At the bottom was a well. All around the hollow, pieces of ragged cloth were tied to the branches of the trees and to ropes stretched between the trees. A hooded person appeared and stood beside the well. It held out a hand to her, but she couldn't take it, because she was seeing all this through some kind of screen. All around her was a blue-white light, and the sound and smell of water dripping on rock. She caught a glimpse of blue eyes and dark hair beneath the hood.
"Come on," said Merlin, touching her shoulder. "Time to get up."
Cottia growled at him and sat up, reluctantly shedding her warm cloak and coming out into the cold morning air.
0000
The second day was much like the first, except for Cottia now had sore muscles from riding. The King wasn't as stuffy as she had expected. It was a bit like going on a road trip with four of your big brothers. She was actually enjoying herself. The third day started out like the others, but finished quite differently.
They'd made a little over half the circuit of the guard posts, and were now riding along the top of a range of hills. Below them, the forest was thick, and they could see the castle on the horizon. The hills were steep, cliffs in some parts, and the path was the only reliable way down.
As they descended down into the forest, Cottia noticed a little carved stone by the side of the trail. It had the faint impression of three swirls on it, all connected in the center. As he passed it, Arthur stopped and dismounted.
"Sheathe your swords," he said firmly. "We'll walk past it. No sense in being disrespectful."
Cottia watched in bewilderment as the men-at-arms hurriedly dismounted and pressed on close behind the King, keeping their eyes fixed on the ground. Leon and Percival were also solemn and watchful. She turned to Merlin.
"What is it?" she asked.
He came closer. "It's the site of an old druid camp. It's always a good idea to show that you come in peace when you're near them; strange things can happen."
"Like Old Man Willow?" she suggested, her face eager.
"A bit. But there is no Tom Bombadil here to rescue you." He was amused to see that she stuck close by his side after that.
As they walked on, leading the horses, the ground began to dip sharply on the right side of the path. It bent suddenly, leaving a clear view of a long narrow cleft between two arms of the hill. There was a well in the center, and the branches of the trees in the ravine were adorned with faded strips of fluttering cloth. Cottia stared. She had seen this exact place in her dream.
There was one difference from her dream. The hooded figure was not there. She scanned the trees on either side of the well for it, straining to see through the gloom. The clouds were thickening; a storm was blowing in.
"Cottia?" She had stopped walking. Merlin had given Steady to Leon and was now standing in front of her. "What is it?"
She smiled and shook her head. "Nothing," she said.
"Are you sure?" He looked at her carefully. She looked like she had seen a ghost.
"It's nothing. I just - this place looks familiar. I think I saw a picture of it in a book."
That was possible, Merlin thought. But somehow I think she's lying. I'll have to watch her. "Come on," he said gently. "We'd better not linger."
0000
That night they camped in a shallow cave in the cliff. It faced the castle, and until the light drained completely from the sky they could see it white in the distance.
The horses and the men-at-arms had their own cave, and Arthur, Leon, Percival, Merlin, and Cottia were all huddled in a smaller one. A cold wind had come in front of the storm.
"It's lucky the wind isn't blowing from Camelot," said Percival, coming in with a huge bundle of firewood, which he set down with a clatter. "There's rain coming too."
It was raining hard by the time they went to sleep. It was Merlin's turn to watch, and he sat beside the fire, looking at Cottia. Her eyes were closed, but he knew she was not asleep.
The way she had acted at the druid camp had worried him. Usually, only people with magic felt any inclination to investigate there. Normal people were scared away. But the way she had looked when he had spoken to her had reminded him, just for a second, of someone, and he could not think who.
There was a flash of lightning in the distance behind them, lighting up the sky just visible on the edge of the cave ceiling. The deep grumble of thunder followed after a long pause. Cottia sat up, her eyes wide.
"Why is it doing that?"
Merlin reached out and took her hand. To his surprise, she was trembling. "It's only a storm," he whispered.
"Is it coming here?" She sounded terrified.
"I don't know. I think it'll blow over us. It's all right," he added. "We're safe in here. The lightning will hit the trees if it strikes anywhere."
In the firelight, her face lost all its color. "I hate storms," she whimpered. The lightning came again and she grabbed his hand with both of hers. He pulled her into his arms and held her tightly as the thunder filled the air with solid blocks of sound. It was coming closer.
She clung to him, completely rigid until the noise stopped. When she raised her head, he saw that she was beginning to cry. "Sshhh," he said. "It's only noise. It can't hurt you."
He moved away from the fire and sat with his back to the cave wall. He made Cottia sit on his other side, away from the entrance. She buried her face in his shoulder as the storm blew overhead. He kept his arm around her and occasionally stroked her hair helplessly. He had never seen anyone so frightened of a storm.
"Why do you hate storms so much?" he asked during a lull.
"They used them for recalibration," she said into his shoulder. "The noises. And the shock. Every time I was different, it happened."
Merlin was silent. He knew something about 'recalibration', which to him sounded like a fancy term for torture. It was an automatic reaction administered by the portals, which would punish their owner every time an action that was not approved by society happened. No wonder Cottia was terrified of thunderstorms. She associated them with pain.
"The noise can't hurt you," he repeated.
"Why not?"
"You don't have your portal anymore. It's just a loud scary noise now. There won't be any aftereffects."
The only response was a sob. I have to distract her, he thought. He saw her bag lying on the floor within his reach. Inside it was the Red Book. He pulled it out and opened it. The fire had flared up again and now the light was just bright enough for him to see the pages. "Look, Cottia. Shall I read to you?"
She nodded. He began to read. Gradually, as she grew more absorbed in the story, he felt her relax. He glanced down at her a few times. Her eyes were shut, and she was listening intently.
Suddenly she spoke, repeating what he had just read. "'In the black wind the stars shall die, and still on gold here let them lie, till the dark lord lifts his hand over dead sea and withered land.' That's beautiful. Scary, but beautiful." There was wonder in her voice, and she recited the lines with perfect accent on the rhythm. Merlin shifted slightly and her eyes opened.
"You like poetry," he said. "That's why you like music so much."
"I never heard any before this. I didn't know they could tell stories." She settled back down.
"Most stories were poems before people started writing them down. That's how they remembered them."
"I like that."
He kept reading, until her breathing slowed and she fell asleep. The fire sank down into a dim glow of embers. The storm had passed over them long before and he could now watch the lightning reflecting off the distant spires of the castle. It was past his watch, but he didn't want to get up and disturb Cottia.
Arthur stirred and lifted his head. "Merlin. Why didn't you wake me?"
Merlin pointed to the sleeping girl wrapped in his cloak. Arthur got up and came to sit on his other side. "What's wrong with her?"
"She's frightened of the storm."
"Poor kid. Is she going to be able to cope with them?"
"I don't know. They used the noises as a conditioned stimulus to punish her."
Arthur looked angry. "We might be technology-free, but at least we don't torture people. That is more human and civilized to me."
"I know."
"Get some sleep. I'll watch."
Merlin carefully lifted the sleeping girl and set her down a little further away from the cave wall. He lay down next to her. Cottia rolled over and snuggled into his side again. Arthur smiled. "I think we've picked up a sister."
"She's a good person."
"I know, Merlin. I won't force her to do anything."
0000
Cottia woke up on horseback the next morning. She yawned and blinked and pushed aside the cloak, and squinted in the bright sunlight. Merlin was carrying her in front of him, and Goldberry was being led by Percival.
They were riding in the front, beside the King. As she peered around, he reached over and tousled her hair. "About time you got up," he said. "We were just talking about waking you. You don't want to miss the Valley of the Fallen Kings."
"What's that?" she asked, sitting up and trying to look alert.
"It's a big valley with lots of statues and caves," said Leon from somewhere behind her.
"And bandits," Merlin added.
"Why are we going through it?" she asked.
"It's a shortcut back to Camelot. Without it, we'd have to go over the hills and that would take an extra day," Arthur said cheerfully. "Also, if we ride through once in a while, it keeps the bandits from getting cheeky."
The ground became damper and mist began to swirl around as they rode down into the valley. Cottia had gotten onto Goldberry again, and now she was riding beside Percival. He looked over at her and smiled. "It should be fine. The bandits don't usually attack this many people together."
"I'm not scared," she said grumpily.
"You should be."
There were statues all over in the valley, overgrown with moss and vines and half obliterated by trees, but there was something majestic about them still. But Cottia couldn't see any sign of the caves. "Where are the caves?"
Arthur pointed off to one side. "The entrances are all small. They just look like cracks in the side of the cliffs. Some of them are, but some aren't."
"Supposedly, there is a cave filled with crystals here," said Leon. "The druids used to use it to . . . uh . . . do druid stuff."
"They could see the future in the crystals," Arthur said.
They were riding through a narrow ravine, steep sided and four times the height of a man. There was a sudden rattling from in front, and a boulder crashed down, just missing Arthur. He spun his horse around and pulled out his sword. A crowd of men came pouring down from the top and charged the patrol.
Cottia looked around, bewildered. There had been no one in sight seconds before; now there was a crowd of yelling men with weapons. Percival grabbed her arm and pulled her off her horse just as a crossbow bolt whistled past her head. They landed in a heap on the muddy ground. He pulled her to her feet and shoved her towards a clump of trees perched on the side of the ravine, drawing his sword with his other hand. "Get out of here!" he ordered as he turned to face four bandits rushing at him.
She ran towards the trees, but one of the men cut her off. He raised his sword and she froze. She'd always imagined battles in slow silence; in reality, they were scarily fast and very loud. She backed away and ducked as the man sliced at her, not even feeling the tip of the sword graze her cheek. She was cornered.
Arthur leapt in front of her and lunged forward. The bandit crumpled to the ground. From her position on hands and knees, Cottia stared at him. He looked very dead. A trickle of blood was oozing down from his mouth. She felt a hand grab the back of her jacket and Arthur hauled her up like a sack and pushed her behind him, protecting her from the second wave of the attack.
The fight was short and fierce, but it ended in defeat for the bandits. Arthur wiped his sword off and sheathed it. Then he turned to Cottia, still sheltering behind him. "Have you ever seen a battle before?"
She shook her head.
"You'll get used to it." He put his hand on her shoulder in a gesture she had seen him use before with his knights. "You didn't run. Good. Were you scared?"
"Yes," she whispered.
"Even better. Courage isn't about not being afraid, it's about being absolutely terrified and still standing your ground." He smiled at her, and she could not help smiling back. Merlin came up to them.
"Cottia, are you all right?"
"I'm fine."
Merlin dabbed at the cut on her cheek with a piece of cloth he found in his pocket. "Not bad for your first battle," Arthur said. She blinked.
"Where did that come from? It doesn't hurt."
"They never do when you get them," said Merlin. Arthur was looking at the dead bandits.
"Saxons," he said. He stooped and picked up a big clasp knife. It looked somehow out of place. Cottia stared at it for a while before realizing that the handle was made of plastic.
"Why did he have that?" she asked.
"Good question. I have been fearing that they are trading with the Other Side for some time now."
"There's another one over here, sire," Leon called. Arthur looked around.
"Take any anachronistic weapons you can find. Leave everything else."