A/N: Thank you once again to the endlessly wonderful Bladhaire.
Feeling tired
By the fire
The long day is over
The wind is gone
Asleep at dawn
The embers burn on
With no reprise
The sun will rise
The long day is over
~Norah Jones
Present : 217 Years Post War
The color had gone out of the sky, the stars brilliant and cold far above. There was no moon tonight, and if it were not for the decorative lights on the house that Irie had left on, Liara and Shepard would be in total darkness.
They walked back across the grass, Liara keeping her arm secure around Del's waist. Though Shepard had dozed a bit against Liara's shoulder as they sat, she now seemed stronger, making the trip back with only minor support.
As if she had sensed them coming, Irie opened the front door a few moments before they reached it. Haloed in the warm light of the cheerfully lit house, she cut a graceful and somehow peaceful figure. The smell of dinner wafted past her into the evening cool, seeming to bid its own welcome home.
Shepard sat in her customary spot at the table, Liara to her left and Lily in her booster on her right. She concentrated most of her energy into helping 'feed' the baby…a task which seemed to involve more silly faces, swooping noises, and messy giggles than necessary. It wasn't until they cleared the plates that Liara realized Shepard had not, herself, eaten a single bite.
Irie cleaned up Lily's messy face, then put her in her pen with some toys while she helped Liara, Mel, and Dae clean up the kitchen. Shepard was resting in her chair…or so they thought, before a sound suddenly drew their attention.
Liara set her towel aside and walked to the door, looking into the living area. Shepard had taken Lily from the pen and the baby was now standing at the foot of the chair, holding on to Del's knee with one hand to steady herself. On Shepard's lap was her guitar, and she plucked it a little bit as she painstakingly turned the tuning pins.
The guitar had been resting in its case for months, left forgotten in the corner of Del's study. As she sat now, tuning it under Lily's rapt gaze, Liara could almost believe she'd gone back in time, looking on as baby Irie watched her father ready her guitar.
The three younger asari joined Liara in the doorway. Oblivious of her audience, Shepard finished the tuning and smiled down at Lily.
"Let's start off simple, ok?" she asked, regarding Lily's opinion on the matter of the utmost importance. As if she understood, the toddler let out a firm 'Ba!' and slapped a hand on the flank of the guitar.
Shepard started to play a short little song that had been on one of Mel's favorite vids as a child. It was lively and bright, the kind of music that kept a young child's attention. Clearly excited, Lily waved her hand, or slapped it enthusiastically against her grandmother's knee.
Del giggled at her as the song finished with a flourish, Lily beaming back. Setting her fingers, Shepard continued on, playing a couple of more bright little childhood tunes, before launching into one of Flatwood's more cheerful songs. As it faded, it was replaced with all too-familiar notes…notes that had long since engraved themselves in Liara's memory.
The song was one that eternally played in Shepard's head, though she was not consciously aware of it for the most part. Once upon a time, the creation of the chorus had been Del's own desperate subconscious bid to keep her sanity against subharmonic indoctrination inflicted upon her by a man named Wyatt. In the end, this song represented not only Shepard's own intrinsic determination, but also her victory- over him, over her past, and over her own doubts and fears.
Woven in to that was the pure emotion that she held for Liara. Before she even knew the truth of the tune, she had considered it Liara's song, the essence of everything she felt for the asari- emotions that mere words simply could not adequately express. When it was finally finished, she had named the song simply, summing up everything that it meant to her.
My Sky Blue.
As her mother had all those long years ago, Lily reached forward as Del played, resting first her small palm, and then her head against the flank of the guitar. She pressed her ear and cheek to it, feeling the vibrations as she listened with an almost adult intensity.
When the last notes faded out, Lily lifted her head and looked up at Del, who looked back down at her.
"What do you think, kiddo?" Shepard asked. Lily blabbed a series of nonsensical baby words with a college professor's aplomb, before slapping her hand on the guitar again. Del laughed, reaching out and brushing a hand over the child's crest.
"Yeah, me too," she said, smiling. Liara finally stepped through the door and into the living room, the motion drawing Shepard's attention. She lifted her head, blinking at the gathered asari watching her as Liara stooped to pick up her granddaughter.
"Won't surprise me if she turns out to be a singer like her Mama," Del said to Irie as the others approached. "She's so much like you, Nub. Almost down to each freckle on her nose."
Irie bent, kissing Shepard's temple before smiling at her, her eyes aqueous.
"Play a song for me, Bába."
"Any song you want, Nub."
"Blind Hope?"
Shepard smiled and nodded, looking at Liara a moment. Irie sat down at her feet as Mel and Dae seated themselves nearby. Liara passed Lily to her mother, Irie holding her daughter close on her lap as the song began. Rocking the child back and forth, Irie sang softly along with the guitar.
"What we need is all there is
Blind hope in a restless sea
Your arms are where I belong
In dark I will find you
You are my blind hope…"
An hour later, Shepard's exhaustion had taken over again, and Lily had fallen into a contented sleep on her mother's lap. Liara returned the guitar to its home as Irie put Lily to bed. When her bondmate returned to the room, Shepard got weakly to her feet, clinging to her hand a moment before reaching toward her youngest.
Melara embraced her tightly. "Sleep well, Bába," she whispered.
"I will," Shepard said. "Don't stay up too late."
Melara didn't release her. "Bába, I-"
"Hush now. I'll see you in the morning," Del said lightly. Loosening her grip she gave Mel a rough kiss on the cheek, then winked over at Daenys. "You two behave yourselves now. Don't do anything I wouldn't do."
"That's a remarkably short list, Bába. You might want to rethink that," Melara said faintly. This, too, was a familiar exchange, and Melara momentarily felt her throat close. She cleared it roughly. "Get some rest. Maybe tomorrow we'll take the bike out for a spin, hmm?"
"You bet," Del replied. Clearing her own throat, she turned to hug Irie as Mel stepped back, Dae's arm sliding around her shoulders. Always far more open with her emotions, Irie's cheeks were unabashedly damp as she clung to her father.
"None of that, Little Blue," Del whispered in her ear. "I'll see you in the morning. I'll even make you breakfast if you want."
Irie sniffled a faint chuckle. "That is not what I want."
"What do you want?" Del asked with a knowing grin.
"Mama to make breakfast," Irie replied.
"Oh, I see how it is." Shepard drew back, lifting her hands and lightly wiping her eldest daughter's cheeks. "No crying. My scrambled eggs aren't that bad."
"They very nearly are," Irie told her, then hugged her again, kissing her cheek. "I love you, Bába."
"I love you too, Irie," Shepard said, and gave her a wink. As Irie reluctantly stepped back, Liara moved in. She had already bid her goodnights to Melara and Daenys. Now she hugged Irie as Del released her, murmuring to her eldest a moment before kissing her goodnight and taking hold of her bondmate. Del wound an arm around her shoulders. As they passed Daenys on the way to the bedroom, Shepard paused, reaching out and brushing a hand over her arm.
"You take care now, Dae."
"I will," she replied softly. "Good night, Shepard. Sleep well."
"You too."
Melara watched her parents disappear slowly down the hall into their bedroom, feeling Dae's fingers slip through her own.
"She seems better this evening," Daenys said, optimistic. "Perhaps she truly will be up for that ride tomorrow."
"Maybe," Melara replied, but she did not feel it. Looking over at her sister, she could see Irie did not feel it either.
Gripping Dae's hand tighter for a heartbeat, she then released her hold and headed outside. Stepping out into the cool evening air, she crossed the small porch and sat down on the steps, at the edge of the pool of warm light cast by the small lamp hanging over the door.
The birds on the cliffsides had long gone silent, sleeping huddled in their nests or clustered together on the branches of the low hanging trees that clung to the rocks. The only sound was that of the waves in the distance, a faint glimmer of reflected starlight now and again breaking the otherwise invisible line between water and sky.
Reaching in to her pocket, she drew out a small capped tube that held a single gold-label cigar. Holding the cigar, she turned it over and over in her fingers for a long while before she tucked it in her teeth. A small flare of gold light punctuated the snap of a lighter. Wisps of gray white smoke that smelled of autumn plumed into the darkness.
Letting out a breath that billowed with white, Melara let her arm hang from her knee, the stogie dangling from her fingers as she quietly watched the stars far above.
Liara knelt before Shepard as she sat on the bed, methodically unfastening her boots and drawing them off, setting them aside. As she started to rise, Del caught her lightly, cupping her face as she leaned forward and kissed her a moment.
As their lips parted, Liara gently brushed her hand over her cheek. "How are you feeling?"
"Good," Shepard told her softly, then leaned forward again until their foreheads rested against each other's. "How could I be anything other than perfect with you here?"
Liara smiled, faint but genuine, her fingers tangling for a moment in Del's hair, then drawing back. "You need rest."
Rising, she gathered a tank and a pair of yoga pants, helping Shepard to change into them before she changed as well.
Beside the bed rested an oxygen unit and small mask. As Shepard lay back on her pillows, Liara reached for it, only to be halted as Del caught her hand.
"Not tonight," she said. "I feel all right, and it gives me a headache."
Liara's trembling fingers remained on the mask a moment, before they reluctantly drew back. She nodded, leaning over and kissing Shepard's forehead lightly before she crawled into bed beside her. They settled in, Shepard immediately turning toward her and winding her arms around her as their legs entwined. The motions were done unconsciously, a dance that had been repeated a million times over during the last two centuries.
Liara nestled close in her warmth, her head tucked under Shepard's chin. She was tired, but her mind was still spinning with the events of the day…with the fears brought every time Del went to sleep. Still, it was not her own disquiet that prompted her to speak.
"You are troubled?" she asked softly.
Shepard moved a bit, shifting enough to look Liara in the eye. Lifting a hand, her finger seemed to find and map every tiny freckle on Liara's face, brushing every one with a light, affectionate touch. As the fingertips brushed over her lips, Liara lightly kissed them.
"Still my beautiful Sky Blue," Del whispered. Then, "Do something for me, Li."
"Of course, Shepard."
"Make me a promise. Promise me that you won't stay alone the rest of your life."
"Del-"
"Liara, please. This is important to me. I never wanted to cause you pain. From the moment I first saw you, all I wanted was for you to-...I can't…I can't abide the thought of you being alone for so long-"
"Del, shh," Liara soothed, worried that her love was getting upset.
"Promise me, Tianlán. Please."
"Shepard…"
"Please, Li. I want you to be happy."
Liara could feel the warmth in her eyes as they looked into Del's. Though there was little light in the room, she could see the faint outline of Del's face, the tiny reflections off her gaze. She knew every shade and nuance of brown in those eyes. She knew what fearful expression they held now.
Her voice barely audible, Li heard herself ask. "How can I be happy without you?"
"You'll find a way," Shepard said, fingers brushing over the edge of Liara's chin. "And I'll always be with you. Here…and here."
The touch traveled to Liara's chest, pressing a moment directly over her heart, before they trailed softly over her brow. Liara's throat felt hot and narrow with emotion before she captured that hand, pressing it almost frantically to her lips.
"Promise?" Del asked.
How could she do this? How would she ever have the strength?
"I…promise," Liara replied, the words escaping in a faint flutter of air. "I love you, Del Shepard."
"I love you too, Liara. Now and forever." Drawing her hand free of Liara's, she lightly slipped it behind her neck, thumb caressing her cheek as they once more drew close…close enough to breathe each other's air. "My Tianlán."
Liara kissed her gently, before ducking her head against Del's neck as before, clinging to her. She did her best to hide the tears, but she knew more than one dampened the point where her skin ended and Del's began. She could still feel the tension in Shepard's muscles, a low-energy charge that told her she was still not finding her comfort.
"You are still troubled?" she asked softly.
"A little."
Liara nodded slightly. Her eyes, open in the darkness, slowly flared to black.
Though it had been several months since they had Joined in romantic sense…and nearly a year since there was any actual physical consummation with said Joining…Liara would often initiate a gentle meld on those evenings when their worries or fears prevented sleep. Even Del's near constant utter exhaustion sometimes was not enough to let her actually rest, and both had found this method helpful.
Slowly the room about them faded away, replaced by warmth and color and laughter. The memories were all happy ones, steeped in the warmth and contentment of joy, of family.
Together, they walked once more along the beach, both young and strong. Liara's belly was swollen with the infant Melara. Del's hand clasped hold of one of Irie's, the little asari's grip firm and trusting. Her other hand was clasped in her mother's, and with every few strides taken she would leap into the air, allowing her parents to swing her wildly between them. Her laughter punctuated the bright sunshine.
Shepard swept a three year old Melara up into the air, swinging her in giddy, looping circles. Never fearful, Melara spread her arms and pretended she was flying, a look of pure joy on her face.
Seventeen years old, Del Shepard ran through Central Park, her own arms spread wide and her jacket flapping behind her. Grinning widely, Paul chased her, a balloon trailing from one hand and the remnants of an ice cream cone clutched in the other. He was laughing as he was running, hard enough he ended up with the hiccups. Del laughed too, and after they collapsed on the green grass and looked up at the clouds far above, she imagined exotic worlds, rainbow nebulae, and the stars reaching on forever.
-then…
Candlelight Mist began to play, Flatwood's deep, mellow tones filling the room. Liara inclined her head as she listened, letting the music paint its colors.
Asari loved music in general…but it seemed there was a great deal of difference in asari music than human music. Not, of course, that the small sampling of human music she'd been exposed to was really much basis for comparison but…well, for one…asari had no male singers. The deeper voice, the more gravelly edges…she would not have really considered a male human as being much of a singer…but Flatwood proved her wrong with the very first syllable. There was something primal about it, yet soothing, comforting.
"You like it?" Shepard asked, and Liara nodded.
"Oh, very much. It is so…soulful. More emotional than I was expecting."
"That's blues for you," Shepard told her, then stepped over and held out her hand. Liara blinked at her, and Shepard grinned.
"C'mon. Don't tell me you don't know how to dance, T'Soni."
Taking the hand offered her, Liara allowed herself to be pulled into those arms, burying her face in the smell of shampoo and cigars. She did know how to dance, and as the music played endlessly, that's just what they did.
They danced…
…and danced…
…and danced.
Liara slept deeply, the remnants of their meld fading into pleasant dreams as they crossed the line into relaxed slumber at last. The house was steeped in a comfortable dark, a comfortable silence.
A soft touch on her cheek roused her a little, but sleep was reluctant to let go, determined to keep her bound in its cozy arms. Emotional exhaustion was as strong as physical, and she had not enjoyed a true sleep in far too many weeks.
When the touch repeated, she drifted just close enough to wakefulness to murmur, "Del?"
A faint breath on her ear, a nearing warmth, the tender press of lips against her cheek as Shepard bent over her. Then, a gentle whisper.
"I love you, Tianlán."
A sleepy smile passed over Liara's face. "I love you too, Shepard."
The act of speaking brought her closer to the breaking edge of consciousness, and after a moment she stirred a little, heavy eyelids cracking open a hair. "Del…?"
What was Shepard doing up and out of bed? But no…she wasn't. She was still in Liara's arms, her own wound loosely about her, the pair still snuggled close under the blankets. Closing her eyes again and yielding to the relentless tug of sleep, Liara quickly fell back into slumber.
A dream. It was just a dream…
The windows in Liara and Shepard's bedroom automatically went opaque at ten o'clock in the evening, then clarified again just after seven in the morning. As they cleared, and the first bright fingers of golden sunlight crept over Liara's cheek, she stirred faintly. The minutes crept past, the beams warming her skin enough to prod her awake.
Coming to consciousness, feeling heavy and comfortable, she did not at first open her eyes, savoring the last few moments of a much needed rest. When she heard the muffled sound of little Lily's happy babbling and Irie's soft replies coming from deeper in the house, she surrendered to the inevitable.
"Mmm…Shepard?" She said, voice still thick with sleep as she opened her eyes, lightly touching her love's serene face. "Del…"
The warm center and lingering tides of sleep that surrounded her slowly began to turn to ice. The fingertips resting softly on the cool cheek of her bondmate began to tremble, ever so slightly. As she was facing away from the windows, the sun did not shine on Shepard's face as it did Liara's. Beneath the soft blue shadows, her eyelids were still, dark lashes resting quietly on her cheeks. Liara's hand fluttered away from her cheek, shaking a little as it pressed momentarily to her own lips, then reached out to grip Shepard's shoulder.
"Del…" she said again, and instantly the world became a shivering blur.
Melara must have heard the first, muffled sob as she passed outside the door, for it seemed she was walking in almost at the same instant, sleep still misting her wide brown eyes.
"Mama?"
Liara, kneeling now on the mattress in a mussed tangle of blankets, did not even look at her. Her eyes were on her bondmate, brows wrinkled and tears streaming down her cheeks, a shaking hand pressing over her mouth. Melara hurried over, her gut already sinking.
Shepard lay as if still asleep, resting on her left side with that hand curled comfortably near her face. The other lay extended limply toward Liara, fingers resting lightly on her knee, as if she somehow sought to comfort her weeping mate.
For a moment, Melara just stood there, a vulnerable bafflement making her appear as a child again. Numb, she was barley aware of sitting down beside her mother. Reaching out, she took hold of Shepard's wrist, fingers gently seeking out the pulse point.
She didn't need to note the absence of that soft throb to know she was gone. The cool of her skin, the stillness of it, was unmistakable. There was no spirit left in this flesh.
Almost timidly her hand drew back, and then crept around Liara's shoulders. As softly as collapsing sand, Liara fell into her daughter's embrace. As Mel held her close, gently rocking as Liara used to do to comfort her daughters when they were still small, Irie tentatively stepped into the door. She looked pale, and lost.
"Mama…?" Irie said quietly, trembling. "Is she…"
Mel nodded, tears spilling ignored down her face. Irie came forward, rushing the last few steps as if fearful she wouldn't be able to close the distance unless she hurried. She wound her arms around both her mother and her sister.
Outside, the seabirds began to sing.
Larry Thacker, Galactic Information Network. We have just received a message from the Alliance bearing some…solemn news. Admiral Delilah Shepard passed away quietly in her sleep early this morning Earth time; she was 249 years of age. We are being told that she passed at home, and of natural causes. I know that I am not alone when I say that this galaxy has lost the finest hero ever to sail its stars. There is not a single soul that walks on any world, ship, or station in the Milky Way who does not owe their life to this remarkable, courageous, and incomparable woman. Fleet Master Rachel Pressman and Prime Minister Jorge Natches will be holding a press conference this afternoon to outline what we can expect over the next few weeks in both honoring- and laying to rest- the Hero of the Reaper War. Our consolations extend of course to her family and children, and we ask that their privacy be respected. Admiral Shepard, from a trillion hearts and mouths across the endless sky that you loved so much…we thank you, and pray you have found your peace at last. This is Larry Thacker, GIN News…good afternoon.