A/N: Please read the author's note at the end of this chapter. Thank you!
Present: 217 years Post War
When Liara emerged from the bedroom again that dawn, she held a wooden box in her hands.
It was a simple enough box, jointed at the edges and lid so that it would seal tight when closed. The wood had been treated so that it would not rot or degrade…at least, not for years longer than it normally would have taken. During the night, Liara had put various items into the box…things that, to her, were fundamentally Shepard.
Her swagman was the largest item inside. Beside that rested her beaten flask, filled with whiskey. Her silver cigar case, full of cigars, was within- as was a couple of guitar picks. Liara had also included a few pictures, paper copies of Mel and Irie as infants; a few of their second wedding here on the beach; a couple of old ones that Nancy had left them of Shepard and Paul; and that final photo they had taken on the first Normandy, moments before the attack had struck.
Liara lingered over that one the longest, tracing their younger faces, memorizing the happy look in their eyes. Finally, she quietly tucked it inside as well.
A few more odds and ends were added, mostly trinkets that Shepard had been given over the years from her friends. Liara added them quickly and then sealed the box shut. The click of the lid as it slid into place almost felt like an execution.
Now, she clung to the wooden box in her hands as if it were the only thing keeping her afloat. The house was already filled with hushed voices, guests having arrived since well before dawn. She sat in the living room, talking with them softly and accepting their sympathies with gentle nods of her head. Some, whom had been unable to attend the more formal ceremonies, she hugged tightly.
The day was warm and brilliant when they finally headed outside. A breeze was blowing, making the flocks of birds clinging to their nests on the cliff ripple almost like waves, the music of their calls and flapping wings almost drowning out the crash of the ocean itself.
The small crowd walked out along the eastern promontory, a long spit of land that flanked one side of their private beach. A few rocks and boulders were strewn among the short sea grass, and at the far end of the spit there was a short four or five foot drop off into the water.
Melara had come out here sometime during the night, with a halogen lamp and a shovel. Near one of the leaning rocks she had dug a deep pit, deep as she could go without threat of water flooding it, and in the morning sun the soil looked red and strikingly rich.
The quiet crowd clustered at the edge of the promontory, watching as Solus, Grunt, and his two boys carried Shepard's body down to the sand and surf. She was not covered, lying on a multi-tiered litter of wood, straw, and flammable sealant. Buried deep in the bottom most layer was a small device that would ignite when a remote command was sent. The sealant would both ensure the litter stayed afloat, and that it burned quite fast and hot once the fire began. Shepard's hands were folded over her chest.
The krogan had wanted to put a rifle in her hands. Their people also generally burned their dead, and usually did so with the warrior in full armor and holding their favorite weapon. Grunt had wanted to put a rifle in Shepard's hands, but Liara had gently refused the request. Shepard had been a soldier and a warrior all her life. Her days had been filled with struggle, battle, and bloodshed.
No more. Del had more than earned her final peace. She had held far too many rifles and for far too long. Liara would not send her into eternity with yet another one.
So her hands were empty, folded neatly. As the krogan stepped into the water, the sunlight gleamed up from these folded hands, reflecting off of Shepard's wedding ring. Liara's fingers sought out her own ring, gripping it tight and feeling the warm metal. Someday, perhaps, she would finally remove it. For now, it was one of the final ties she could not bear severing…not just yet.
Grunt, Shep, Dug, and Solus waded out until the water was well above their waists, almost up to the necks of the two smaller boys.
Solus activated a small VI driven engine at the bottom edge of the litter, and the four krogan released it as the engine kicked on and tugged the structure out of their hands. They retreated from the surf as the litter gamely continued on, moving out toward deeper water.
By the time the krogan joined them where they stood, Shepard's body was a hundred yards out, tiny against the endless blue.
"From the seas we come," Samara said solemnly. "And to the seas we must all return. May the depths embrace you, Del Shepard- my sister, and my friend. We send you from us to the unknowable beyond in honor, and in love. N'ivathe'a ma siveen."
"Keelah sel'ai," Tali's grandson, Coron'Nato, said in a soft murmur, prompting an echo of the same from the others.
Liara was not aware of the silent tears on her cheeks, and hardly aware of speaking aloud as she watched the now tiny litter suddenly lift into bright flame, reds and golds blooming fiercely over the tourmaline sea.
"N'ivathe'a ma siveen," she whispered.
At her side, Irie began to sing a lament, holding her daughter close with little Lily's head resting on her shoulder. It was not Cantola's grand, heroic lament that she and the other asari had sung at the ceremony on Earth. This one was simple, and small…merely a daughter's grief for a beloved parent's passing.
Liara thought that Del would have liked this one better than the other one. To her, it would have seemed far more honest.
It took less than an hour for the litter to be consumed and finally slip below the water. Scores of the colorful seabirds, curiously drawn by the smoke, wheeled and cried overhead for a few long minutes after it had finally vanished, before they returned to the cliffs.
After it had vanished, Liara carried the box to the hole that her daughter had excavated. Going down to her knees, she carefully lowered the box into the hole, settling it and pressing her hand to the lid once more. Irie, kneeling at her side, passed a blue rose she had been carrying to her daughter. Lily looked at it with a toddler's interest.
"Give it to Grandma, baby," Irie urged gently. Lily sat up a little, looking at Liara, before leaning forward and holding out the rose.
"Ba?"
Liara smiled softly, gently accepting it and then leaning forward, kissing the baby's forehead. "Thank you, sweetheart."
"Na," Lily smiled, then settled against her mother's shoulder again with a yawn.
Liara kissed the bloom's petals, then set the rose on top of the box. She remained kneeling as Melara refilled the hole, the box and flower vanishing under the dirt. Tossing the shovel aside, Mel took her mother's arm as Liara finally got to her feet, steadying her.
There would be food, and tea, and conversation now. Eventually, the guests would bid their goodbyes and head off to different areas of the galaxy- reuniting with loved ones and going on with their lives. Even Melara and Irie would depart after a few days. Irie had her family and her singing. Melara had to get back to the Normandy and her never-ending duties.
The sun would set, then rise again, then set once more. Life would go on, and somehow Liara had to find a way to face it.
As they walked back toward the house, Irie passed the baby off to Evik, and put her arm around her mother's waist. "Come back with us, to Thessia," she said. "Just for a while. I don't want you to be here all by yourself. You could spend time with Lily, take it easy…figure out what you want to do next."
"Oh, Irie, that is so incredibly sweet of you to offer, but-"
"Mama, please. You should not be alone, not here. This place is just going to remind you of her every moment, every time you look around. You can come back here when you are ready but you need time to grieve, to heal. You cannot heal here, not where every trinket or picture or sunset will just rip the wound open all over again."
Liara knew that Irie was speaking wisdom. Being here by herself would be incredibly difficult, feeling and seeing and smelling Shepard in every corner and every room. At the same time, those very things were the reasons she wanted to stay.
"I shall think about it, Irie," she said. "Thank you."
That night as she curled up to go to sleep, she knew that going to stay with Irie and Evik for a while would probably be for the best. She realized this as she carefully set up a sleeping area in her own room on a cluster of cushions and blankets, the thought of sleeping in that bed again enough to bring a horrible ache to her gut.
Shepard had shared that bed with her for years. She had passed away there, and her body had rested there the previous night for the vigil. Getting into it again…no. She was unsure she could ever get into it again. A new one would have to be purchased.
And what of things other than the bed? Are you going to purchase a new sofa, because of the memories of sitting there and talking with her on cold, quiet nights? Are you going to purchase a new study? A new kitchen? Is everything that reminds you of her with pain going to be replaced until this is no longer the same house? Might as well just tear it down then and be done with, if you are going to just erase her bit by bit because you cannot bear the pain of remembering.
Irie was correct. She would tear herself apart if she remained here alone right now. She needed to be with others. She needed to immerse herself in her granddaughter, to hear her laugh and watch her play and remind herself that innocence and joy still existed, that part of Del would always go on.
She curled up on the cushions and among the blankets. Held close to her chest was the small wooden box inlaid with the maw's tooth. It smelled of Del's cigars, and while she knew that soon, she would have to learn to sleep without it…it would not be happening this night. Even with it, she was unsure if she would be able to fall asleep.
In the end, the emotional and physical exhaustion proved too much, and shortly after settling down she fell into those heavy, dark spaces only the world-weary and grieving ever seemed to find. In this deep black, where memory and even identity could not intrude, she found a comfortable sort of peace- curling up within it and reluctant to move, to wake, to remember.
Then a dream began, its colorful arms winding around her, coaxing, tempting, and then almost forcefully drawing her out of that oblivious bed.
Light was the first thing she was aware of. Warm and soft, the light seemed to make her skin tingle. Ground was under her feet, a soft cool breeze smelling of the sea tugging playfully at the hem of her skirt.
She was standing at the edge of a wide field. The air was crisp and clear, the colors beyond reality. The grass was an incredible green beyond green, the sky a blue that made every other blue she'd ever seen seem gray.
In the distance, two, or perhaps three hundred yards away, a gathering of people were waiting. Despite the distance she could see every detail about them, as if they stood no further than a foot or two. Behind this gathering was a ship...no, it was the Normandy, its engines idling and hull shining as if it were new.
Liara felt joy as she recognized those standing there, in front of the ship. There was Tali, wearing no helmet or suit but instead a pale gray dress that shimmered like pearls as it stirred in the breeze. Beside her stood Baron, his hand holding hers. Deefa was there beside her parents, almost her mother's twin.
Joker was there, his hands stuffed in his pockets, his ball cap tugged low over his eyes. Beside him was Kaidan, laughing and talking with animation to Mordin. The salarian looked young, happy, his eyes bright.
And more familiar faces. Helen Chakwas. Samantha Traynor. Wilcher, with Ori beside him. Admiral Anderson, Kahlee Saunders, Steven Hackett, James Vega. Wrex looked impatient, Garrus amused. Jacob was there, and Kasumi, and Thane with Kolyat and an attractive female drell who could only be Irikah. Miranda, young and dark-haired again, with her sister Oriana. Yoh lurked near where Ashley held David's hand, his own entwined in the hand of his wife, Nia. Sydney was there, chatting with Jack. David Archer, Ken and Gabby, Kelly Chambers, more…so many more, some whose faces were unfamiliar or obscured.
Then she saw Benezia, looking how she had when Liara was a child- elegant, bright, happy, exuding a grace and a poise that had always seemed so unbreakable. Near her was Aethyta, a smug smile on her lips but nothing but adoration in her eyes. Nancy Salgado stood with Paul, who held an ice cream cone in his fist, his eyes alight with excitement.
Liara's eyes sought over the crowd, her heart seeming to swell with every familiar, happy, young face that she saw. She was so caught up in them that at first she did not see the final figure, walking across the grass almost exactly between Liara and the gathered crowd.
It was Shepard.
Liara could not see her face but that didn't matter, she knew without a doubt it was Shepard. She broke into a run, rushing over the field toward Del. She called her name but her voice seemed to die in her throat, emitting no sound. Shepard kept on walking, toward those waiting for her.
Away from Liara.
No, do not go…do not leave me! Liara tried again to shout but no words emerged. As fast as she ran, the distance between them did not grow smaller.
Shepard was only a few yards away from the others when she suddenly paused, and finally turned around. Liara slowed from a run into a trot, then into a walk as her limbs seemed to grow heavier, too exhausted to continue moving. She could feel the tears rushing down her face. She was ten feet away now, but she could no longer move. Her body was too tired, and refused to obey her commands.
"Shepard, please…" she whispered.
Del was looking at her. She was wearing an N7 hard-suit, a fully stocked weapons-pack on her back. She wore no helmet. She was young again, the way she looked when Liara had first met her. No silver or white marred her ebony hair as it stirred in the light breeze. There were no burns on the left side of her face. No lines at the corners of her eyes, no scar on her neck.
Her dark brown eyes were full of sadness.
Stepping back toward the asari, Del lifted a hand, her fingertips hovering only inches away from Liara's face. She struggled to move again, to surge into those arms, but she could not, no matter how hard or how desperately she tried.
Gently, Shepard's hand rested against her cheek…soft, warm, and alive. Her thumb brushed lightly over the soft powdering of freckles on Liara's blue skin.
She said nothing, only meeting those sky blue eyes with her own for a long moment, before her hand lowered and she stepped back. Though her eyes still seemed sad, the smile she gave Liara was incredible, and she felt an odd sort of calm fill her at the sight of it.
Trust me, that smile said. Everything will be all right.
Then Del turned away one last time, back to the crowd just fifteen feet away. As she walked toward them, they moved in, smiling and laughing and surrounding her, shaking her hand or slapping her on the back and enveloping her into their number until Liara could no longer see her.
The dream faded away and Liara opened her eyes to the darkened room, the box still tucked under her arm. She stared into the shadows for a long moment, before she finally closed her eyes again, a tear breaking free and spilling down onto the cushions.
"N'ivathe'a ma siveen," she whispered. "Goodbye, my love."
The End
A/N: Ok, I know it was short. DE4 was only ever meant to be a deep breath, a moment of closure, a bridge between Shepard's tale and what is to come. There was no further I could go without revealing or breaking into plot points intended for DE5 (beyond the few hints I have given) and so, we end here.
DE5 will take place just over three hundred and fifty years from the end of the War (roughly a hundred years after DE4), and after Bladhaire's incomparable story Caduceus. If you haven't yet, I urge you to read her tale. It is intertwined with my own story and presents a 'jumping off point' for DE5 if you will.
DE5 will be the final Dark Energy story…that I have planned. Years down the road I may get the urge to revisit my Dark Energy universe but for now, this will be it. DE5 will explain the origins of the Reapers, the Iovino, the Red Queen and her jabberwocks, the cinches, Citadel, and Crucible, and what looming threat still remains to be faced. Athena will be a prominent part of the story, as will Melara, Daenys, and Irie. Liara will appear in the tale but she will not be a central character. Eir will also appear, as well as Grunt and the krogan. There will be a new species that joins the galactic community, new discoveries and new enemies to fight…as well as some old ones.
That said, DE5 is not going to start immediately. I urge you to set your alerts so that you will be emailed when DE5 does finally go up. For the moment, I'm going to take a small breather and instead post up something I think you will all enjoy.
I'm not usually a huge fan of Alternate Universe fics but someone recently mentioned an idea on my Facebook page that immediately got me thinking. What if Shepard was the shy scientist, and Liara was the gung-ho commando? Instantly my brain started working and I got too excited to not explore this question.
The story is going to be called Dark Energy AU: Best Left Said. Familiar characters will all reappear, including Del Shepard and Liara T'Soni.
What would Del be like if she never grew up in the Room, never lived on the streets or joined the Alliance? What if her parents were loving, supportive, and gave her the best education? What would Liara be like if she had to live the hardened life, picking up a rifle instead of an archaeologists' tools? What would their meeting be like? Would the bond that so defined them in DE still form?
The story will not follow the typical ME storyline, but my own alternate plot. There won't be any Reapers, Collectors, Saren, or heretic geth attack on the Citadel. In this AU, none of those things happened, and instead different threats will appear, and very likely some other characters you know and love will also appear in quite different roles as well!
Look for it to go up on Wednesday, with a far more detailed description. Until then, may the Schwartz be with you all!