A/N: All character thoughts are in italics. Thanks again to Susan for editing and encouraging. All recognizable characters belong to Janet, the plot and any mistakes are all mine. So, now we are seeing what is going on in Ranger's head as he remains in his coma. The next 2 chapters coincide with the last 2 chapters that featured Stephanie getting a glimpse into Ranger's memories.

Chapter 9

Ranger became aware of the soft strains of Sinatra gradually becoming louder. Feeling strangely adrift, he channeled all of his past training in order to sense his surroundings before he acted. The gentle rocking motions on his small frame began to soothe him as the wind danced the escaping curls from his pony tail across his face, tickling his nose. He felt himself snuggle into a pair of strong arms and sigh happily. He heard his high pitched girlish voice say "Daddy, when I grow up, I wanna marry you." Inwardly, he cringed.

What. The. Fuck.

Bad drugs. I'm having a reaction to bad drugs. That's it.

He felt himself look up to a younger, much more in shape Frank Plum and smile. Frank looked down on him and chuckled affectionately. "Sorry Pumpkin. I'm already married to your mother. I promise there'll be someone out there for you that will make you forget your old man one day." Frank continued to rock them to and fro on a big white porch swing as lightning bugs came out in the early summer evening.

He felt himself shake his head vehemently, in spite of trying not to react. "No way! You're the best daddy in the whole world, Daddy. I'm never, ever, ever gonna get married in my whole entire life then."

Ranger could see himself reflected in the mirrored sunglasses Frank Plum wore. He was rendered speechless. Instead of a handsome well-muscled Latino man, a small pale little girl with luminous blue eyes framed by beautiful, bouncy brown curls barely contained in a ponytail stared back at him. If he didn't know any better, that could be Stephanie's daughter.

Or twin. Get a grip Manoso.

As he tried to will his mind out of whatever dream-trip it had taken him on, he felt himself being lifted up out of the swing, and put on Frank's shoulders. He felt Frank's large hand pat his knee as they walked out into the small front yard. "Pumpkin, I promise you'll change your mind one day. But in the meantime, let's catch us some lightning bugs." Ranger couldn't help it, he let loose a peal of 4 year old little girl giggles as he felt himself being lifted up and tossed in the air by Frank. He closed his eyes and spread his tiny arms out wide, enjoying exciting feel of flying through the air only to land safely in the strong, accepting arms of his daddy. As he was tossed again, he felt himself float once again into a dark, dreamless sleep.

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Ranger became aware of raised, angry voices. Drawing his knees up tight against his 6 year old chest, he tried to make himself invisible as he sat under the kitchen table, hiding. Confusion, shame, and hurt lanced through him as he picked up snatches of a heated conversation between his parents.

"…..You were supposed to be watching her! You didn't even know she left the house!"

"…..Not my fault! How was I supposed to know what she was doing?"

"…..I work all day for a Goddamn living, so you can stay home and raise our children, not ignore them!"

"…..Don't curse at me Frank! I am doing my best, here. If you would quit encouraging her to be so adventurous and be more like normal little girls, this wouldn't have happened! And now, everyone knows what she did! And I wasn't ignoring her. I was playing tea party with Valerie! Stephanie wouldn't join us! She's just too independent for her own good!"

"…. And being independent is a bad thing? Jesus! I give up, Helen! I freakin' give up!" Loud footsteps were followed by a slamming of the front door.

Stephanie? I'm dreaming I'm Stephanie? If I have to relive Morelli touching me, I'm going to kill the hairy bastard as soon as I take a scalding hot shower.

The heavy disappointment in his mother's voice made him wither up inside. His little stomach felt like it was in knots, making him want to throw up from shame, even though he wasn't exactly sure what it was that he did wrong. Oh God. I do know what happened—Steph told me. She really thought it was just a game but that little Italian prick knew exactly what he was doing to her! She minimalized what happened. Grimacing inwardly, he felt his stomach roll.

It was such an uncomfortable sensation. Crawling out from under the table and snatching one of the cannolis sitting on a plate, he crammed it in his mouth to keep from sobbing out loud and drawing attention back to himself. The explosion of flavors immediately comforted him, reminding him of going to the bakery with his daddy to get them. It helped him block out his mother's insistence that what happened was his own fault for not being ladylike. He just wanted his Daddy to come back, pick him up and rock him again on the swing. He closed his eyes, wishing he was back safe in his daddy's arms and drifted back into darkness.

xxxxxxx

"Come out and show us what it looks like, Steph!" Ranger turned towards the mirror in the room he was in and saw eight year old Stephanie staring back at himself with a look of abject horror on his face.

"No! I'm not leaving my room. I'll stay here and you can get Grandma to come and stay with me!"

The door knob rattled with his mother's attempts to enter his room. "Stephanie Michelle Plum. Do not be difficult today of all days!"

Ranger felt himself roll his eyes and let out a deep sigh. Don't blame you, Babe. I wouldn't want my worst enemy caught dead in this get up.

He gingerly touched the multiple layers of starched ruffles that stood out stiffly around his neck almost like an Elizabethan collar. His eyes moved to the exaggerated puffs of pale pink sleeves that gathered right above her elbows with large lacy bows that matched the one at his waistline. The pale pink skirt of the dress stretched over the multiple layers of white ruffles that caused it to stand out away from his legs like a hula-hoop. The end of the dress stopped just above his skinned up knees. The ruffled socks covered the mosquito bites that he scratched raw on his ankles. The patent leather Mary Janes on his feet were already pinching his toes.

His attention was pulled away from the pink-meringue monstrosity he was wearing by the locking mechanism tumbling and the door rapidly swinging wide open. He tried to raise one eyebrow, but instead found himself putting his hands on his hips and glaring at Stephanie's mother.

A younger, thinner Helen Plum stopped, smiled and clasped her hands together over her heart. "Now see, it's just perfect. You look like such a sweet little lady, Stephanie. Valerie! Come on in to your sister's room so that I can see you two together."

Stephanie looks like her mother. Thank God she doesn't have her personality.

Ranger felt his jaw drop. Valerie glided into his room, dressed in the exact same outfit except it was pale blue. He really wanted to vomit as Valerie preened in the mirror, standing much like a child beauty contestant would. He felt his mother's hands start pulling his curls back into some type of pony tail again and fix something in his hair.

"There. That makes it complete." Helen pursed her lips, and frowned. "I can't do anything about your horrible looking knees, but your hair, I can do something about. Every little lady needs a bow in her hair. Just think about what all the girls there will say, Stephanie! "

He repressed a snort of derision. "Mommy, I don't want to wear this – it's awful! I don't care what the other girls say – I don't like any of them except Mary Lou, anyway! Why can't I wear my dress I picked out for the party? I can't jump rope or play tag in this!"

Valerie turned toward him and shot him a haughty look. "You should be thankful that mom took the time to make this for us, Steph. Only dorks would want to wear what you picked out. Everyone else will be all dressed up but you. If you change, I'm not playing with you. I don't want people to know I'm with you." She emphasized her displeasure with a sniff.

Helen Plum leaned down and straightened the bow on Ranger's left elbow. "It doesn't matter what you want right now, young lady. You will wear this and you will be extra careful not to ruin it like you do with all of your other clothes." Helen sighed with exasperation thinking about what was to come. "I don't want to hear from the other girls' mothers how you went out of your way rolling around in the dirt like some common street urchin. Please try to act like what's expected of you. Behave yourself, or you're grounded from dessert for a week."

Ranger felt hot tears of frustration build behind his eyes. The thought I won't let them see me cry. I won't drifted across his mind, as he hung his head in defeat and nodded numbly. His throat felt tight trying to fight off the dejected feeling that swamped him. He looked longingly at the simple blue short sleeved dress with pearl buttons up the front that his mother now picked up and carelessly tossed in the top of his closet. The heavy feelings of not being good enough got stronger, forcing him to close his eyes and will himself away from the unhappy scene.

Oh, Babe. You were perfect even then, even in this bizarre dream. Why couldn't they just let you be you? Was the last though that he had as he found darkness again.

-tbc-