Unlike his failed attempt to join the Resistance, the transition back to Snoke's service was proving to be surprisingly easy for Kylo. He settled back in to his old position of authority, a stark contrast to his life with the Resistance. Here, he was trusted. Of course, The talk with the Supreme Leader had left him uneasy; he'd even begun to question his decision to return to the First Order at all. Rey would never join them willingly and he knew he could never force her to do so. Kylo knew he could never hurt her. But what if Snoke ordered it? What would he do then? Thankfully, Snoke hadn't called for him since his arrival and Kylo was able to banish the thought to the back of his mind.
He soon returned to his old life, interrogating prisoners, directing troops, and running missions. Again, he was powerful. Again, he was strong. Again, he was completely and utterly alone. The loneliness had never bothered him before but everything was different now. Now he knew what he was missing; he'd known love and he longed for Rey more then he'd ever thought possible. Kylo tried to forget her, he tried to forget the sound of her laughter. He tried to forget the sight of her beautiful smile, the way she smelled, the sound of her voice. Kylo knew he was fighting a losing battle. Everything reminded him of Rey. The meals he ate reminded him of the way she always gobbled up her food. The sight of tie- fighter pilots made him think of the way she looked in her flight suit. When he oversaw the training of a group of Stormtroopers, he couldn't help but remember the fierce face Rey always made when they sparred. He couldn't focus on anything but the memories. She was everywhere, even in his dreams.
Night after night Kylo awoke panting, covered in cold sweat. He'd lie awake in the dark, shaking, trying to catch his breath. He never remembered the dreams but he knew Rey was in every single one. He could feel her, almost as if she were in the bed beside him. Sometimes, he pretended she was. He thought about what he'd do if she were there. He'd hold her close, kiss her neck while she giggled. Rey would comb her fingers through his hair and tell him that everything was alright. They'd make love in the dark room, moving together between the sheets. He'd tell her how much he loved her. One night, the fantasy seemed so real Kylo was afraid he was going crazy. He got out of bed and began to pace the floor. He knew he couldn't live that way anymore; he knew he couldn't live without Rey. He also knew he couldn't return to the Resistance. "I can't force Rey to come here, he reminded himself. But I know she won't come here willingly either." Or would she? Snoke had certainly thought she could be convinced. Maybe if he could just talk to her, make her see reason. "I have to try," he thought. "I need Rey. I need her here with me." But how? Rey would never agree to talk to him, not after what he'd put her through. Hell, she probably wanted to kill him. "That's it!" he cried aloud. Rey would never meet up with him to talk but she may meet up with him to fight. He'd send her a message, inviting her to face off with him one last time. A duel to the death. A chance for revenge. It would be reckless, bold, and so completely like Rey to show up. The plan was just crazy enough to work. But what would Snoke think? This was certainly not the plan the Supreme Leader had in mind. "Well, Kylo thought. "Maybe I just won't tell him. By the time he notices I'm gone, Rey will be here. By the time he notices, he'll have a new apprentice."