A/N: All character thoughts are in italics. Janet E. owns all recognizable characters, but the plot line and mistakes are mine alone. Thanks again to Susan for proofing this for me and giving me great feedback, and thank you to all who continue to read my little story.

Chapter 18

Stephanie's eyes popped open in astonishment and she sat up on the bed, putting her hand to her mouth in wonderment.

I did it. It freaking worked. Holy cow, Batman!

Readjusting her towel so that it covered her breasts after slipping down from rapidly sitting up, she tried to process what just happened. She wasn't sure exactly how she managed it, but she had just consciously tapped into Ranger's emotions and thoughts. She suspected it was driven by the high emotional state she was in, but couldn't be sure. When it came to him, she wasn't sure of anything.

Scratch that.

One thing she now was sure of was that not everything was as it appeared to be with Carlos Manoso when it came to how he felt about her.

She mulled over what she picked up from him before she pulled herself back mentally from the surprise of being able to connect with Ranger.

He had feelings for her.

Strong feelings, based on what she felt before she backed out of his head. Encouraged by this, she took a deep breath for fortitude and lay back down on her bed. Squirming around to get comfortable, she shut her eyes and reached out again, her heart buoyed with hope. She imagined herself reaching out to him, arms outstretched, flying about with her eyes closed. Sensing him, she pictured herself gently running her hands through his hair, then putting her forehead against his as she ran her hands down to his chest and laid them over his heart.

She could feel the strength of his desire for her to the point it shocked her. It shouldn't though, since he made no bones about the fact he was very willing to share his body with her.

Let's see why he won't share the rest of himself with me. What else don't I know?

Emboldened, she focused harder and dove a little deeper past that. Here, she was enveloped with an overwhelming sense of love for her that she could tell he was trying to keep contained and compartmentalized. Basking in her discovery, she marveled how it felt like she was swaddled in pure white happy energy when she connected with this part of Ranger.

Huh. He loves me. This must be what it feels like to love with your whole soul.

Not able to help it, she smiled and sighed. She decided to delve a little deeper and got a big surprise she didn't expect.

He loved her alright, but he sure wasn't happy about it. She could feel his anger. His ambivalence. She caught glimpses of memories of how he purposely pushed her away, how he distanced himself from her. Steph's heart clinched in pain as snippets of his self-doubt, confusion and - -

What the Hell?

Self-loathing. Yep, that was definitely there. Not able to control herself, she snorted in derision. She caught how he felt his soul was black, how he thought he would suck the goodness out of her. From all of the glimpses into his memories she had, she knew what he was capable of and what he had done. But he didn't do it without reason. His moral code was stronger than anyone else's. More snippets came at her, with these revelations thoroughly pissing her off. She saw glimpses of things he did that made him feel like that. Worse yet, she saw everything he did to convince himself he didn't need or deserve her.

Steph tried to keep calm, she really did. She thought of butterflies. She thought about pineapple upside-down cake. Nothing worked. That meant she had only one recourse left.

It was time to beard the dragon.

Nope. No bearding. Time to put my foot up his dragon ass. Maybe it will dislodge his head.

Not caring that she was still in her damp towel from her earlier shower with her hair resembling a chia pet or that she probably had mascara smudged under her eyes, she stomped/limped over to her bedroom door and stared intently at the entry door to her apartment. She could feel his hesitation and disbelief, which drove her anger higher. She willed Ranger's sorry ass to come to her apartment.

Steph didn't count on the fact that Ranger had no idea this new connection or whatever it was, existed between them. Still maintaining the mental connection with him, she was a little taken aback at how he thought he was hearing things. However, it wasn't enough to calm her anger by any means.

She felt him slowly make his way to her apartment. The connection she had with him grew stronger the closer he got. With minimal effort this time, she reached out mentally again to him, dangling answers to him as an incentive. Hearing the door knob turn, she crossed her arms over her chest and focused a glare at the opening door.

As Steph watched Ranger slowly enter her apartment like he belonged there, then arch an eyebrow at her as he casually sat down and reclined back on her couch, her anger went from ballistic to erupting volcano in nanoseconds. She ached to smack the smug confidence off his face, when she could feel how unsettled he was. Instead, she did the one thing she knew would rattle him. She narrowed her eyes at his and projected her thoughts to him.

You and I are going to have a discussion to beat all discussions, Mister.

Satisfaction washed over her as Ranger's surprise and uncertainty flooded her.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

He heard her voice clearly say they were going to have a discussion to beat all discussions, yet he knew he didn't see her mouth move. Ranger wanted to give in to that little part of himself he kept locked down that wanted to show weakness, wanted to panic.

Hold the line, soldier.

He couldn't control the surprise he felt. He leaned forward, placing his elbows on his knees and willed his hands to stop sweating.

"Babe? What the Hell is going on here?"

Her face a mask of indignation, Stephanie made her way out into the small living area and stood across from where Ranger sat. She silently glared down at him for a few beats, her arms crossed over her chest as if to protect herself.

"I could ask the very same thing to you. What the Hell is wrong with you?"

Steph stopped, gave her head a small shake and turned her head to look away from him. She held up one hand as if to stop him. Unable to help it, bitterness laced her voice.

"No, no. You don't have to answer that one. I already know."

Ranger was lost, but that happened occasionally with Steph when he tried to follow her thought processes. He tried his best to maintain a calm neutral demeanor.

"What do you think you know, Stephanie? Care to share?"

She turned her head back at him, then tipped it to the side.

"I know everything, Ranger. Everything."

Taking a step toward him, she put her hands on her hips. Ranger couldn't help but be mesmerized by the storms brewing in her eyes. He swore he could almost feel her anger and frustration.

Pausing for a beat, Steph straightened her head up and gave him a look of mock concern mixed with condescension. She knew she should react like an adult, but she felt very childish right now. Instead of throwing a screaming temper tantrum like she wanted to, the anger-induced sarcasm erupted from her in waves.

"Oh, poor baby. You're confused right now. It really sucks when someone knows something important but doesn't share it with you, doesn't it?" Steph stuck out her bottom lip for emphasis and waited for him to reply.

Not receiving one, she narrowed her eyes at Ranger.

"Fine. I promised an explanation as a part of our discussion, so here it is. Apparently, something happened during our little accident in the oak tree that made us able to connect with each other. I knew something was up in the hospital, but wasn't sure until right before I was sent home. When I dream, I somehow get pulled into your head and have to live through your memories, which really sucks at times by the way. I feel what you felt, see what you saw…... the whole nine yards Ranger. And that's not the end of it. I figured out that if I am anywhere near you, I can feel your emotions and catch glimpses of what you're doing as it happens."

Steph paused again to collect herself, trying to keep it together.

"And after this morning in the gym, I figured out how to seek you out and can hear your thoughts. Since you're here on my couch, I guess I was successful in figuring out how to project my thoughts to you too."

Ranger remained silent in order to process this information. Stephanie wasn't one to make stuff up and clearly she believed what she said. The military strategist part of him just couldn't buy into it. It defied logic. But still…. he had those disturbing dreams while he was in the hospital. They were so real….

Just like she said she had of him.

He closed his eyes and tried to keep his breathing regular. If what she said was in fact the truth, exactly how much of his thoughts and feelings did she tap into? And his memories…...

Fuuuuuuck.

Stephanie gave him a sad look, then sighed.

"I told you already. Everything."

She limped back to her bedroom door and leaned against the doorframe. Her eyes became bright with unshed tears.

"In all my life I never thought I would be wrong about you of all people. You aren't the big brave ex-military bounty hunter you want everyone to think you are."

Ranger slowly rose to standing and clenched his jaw. Her opinion mattered to him more than he ever imagined it would.

"Then what exactly am I, in your opinion?"

Closing her eyes, she leaned her head back against the door trim as tears trickled down her cheeks, slowly dropping on the top portions of her breasts before being absorbed into her towel.

"A coward, Ranger. A big bastard of a coward."

She opened her eyes and stared straight at him, concentrating. He plainly heard her in his head.

At least you are with your heart.

Stephanie straightened up and turned her back to him to go back into her bedroom. Not bothering to turn around, she added, "I know you need time to process this. Go ahead and do it. But while you're trying to figure out if I'm nuts or not, you might want to try to do what I did, and reach out to me. You might get the shock of your life with what you discover. But then again, maybe you won't."

Walking into her room, she shut and locked the door behind her, leaving Ranger wondering what just happened. Too tired to get up and leave, he slouched down on her couch and did exactly what she told him to do. He closed his eyes and focused on blue eyes and soft brown curls.

-tbc-