Disclaimer: Property of A&E and ABC. Not Mine.
A soft 'beep' is permeating through Hades' resting mind. It's terribly annoying. He groans and attempts to return to his peaceful slumber, but the quiet blips continue, like a leaky faucet in an empty tile bathroom. One weary eye opens to a dimly lit room of glass, muted in silvers and whites. Hushed voices speak in the distance, and the whole scenario is unfamiliar.
Then he remembers. Hyde. The library. With a moan he drags his consciousness to the forefront and studies his surroundings. The faint odor of antiseptic and desperation gives his location away. Dammit, didn't he tell Henry that the hospital was the last place he wanted to be? He tries to sit up, but spikes of pain drop him back against his crinkly pillow.
"Oh good," a cheerful voice chirps, "you're awake. Don't try to get up."
Hades blinks his vision into focus and there's a man hovering over his bed. Spiked bleach-blond hair clashes with the deep blue of the doctor's gaze, but there is a smattering of intelligence reflecting within it. Hades immediately begins to doubt this first impression when the doctor leans over and shines a stabbingly bright light into each of his eyes. He growls, but his throat is too dry for vocalizations and he winds up coughing instead.
"Oops – let's fix that for you. Nurse!"
There are footsteps and Emma Swan suddenly pops into Hades' line of sight.
"What the hell are you doing?" she snaps at Doctor StrangeHair, swatting at the penlight in his hand. "I thought you said he had a concussion? You trying to make his headache worse?"
"Are you the physician here? I said he might have a concussion, and I was checking to see if he had a normal pupillary response." The man smiles down at him. "You'll be pleased to know that you do. No concussion my friend – but you will have quite a headache for the next few days."
The sharp voice of Regina echoes through the room. "No he won't." She appears with hair slightly disheveled and an intense look on her face. "Get out of the way, you quack," she says, waving him aside. "I'm healing him."
The doctor takes a step backwards, eyes wide. But Emma turns and scowls. "No, you're not."
"Healing someone isn't just a job for the Savior, you know," Regina snarls.
"No, but I owe it to him. He saved my son."
"He is my son too!"
The two are glaring at each other at the foot of Hades' bed. He blinks slowly, and suddenly Snow White and her dear husband David have joined in the melee. It's quite the melee, too. Hades wishes they would all just shut up and leave him alone.
"If you were paying attention, this never would have happened. The library is a wreck and look at him! He's hurt!"
Blondie in the lab coat chimes in. "Three broken ribs, broken collarbone and his right ankle is severely sprained. Significant bruising of the windpipe. Not to mention the multiple contusions and the six-inch gash on the back of his head." The doctor faces Hades. "You were lucky; it could have been a lot worse."
"See?" Emma points, enraged. "All because you were too busy partying to watch Henry!"
Regina's eyes flare. "And where were you, Sheriff? Isn't it your job to protect and serve? Why didn't you, and you," she shouts, pointing at Charming, "keep a better eye on Hyde?"
David hollers back, "That's what we were trying to do!"
The pirate and Henry finally come into sight. Both have seen better days. Hook's eyes are bloodshot and the sexy stubble he's so fond of is now shaggy and unkempt. The boy is nearly shaking with exhaustion; a white bandage is wrapped around one hand and two thin butterfly strips seal an inch-long cut along his forehead.
"Look," the pirate intones, attempting peace, "there's no sense in blaming each other."
Emma scowls. "You aren't so innocent in this either, Killian."
"No luv, I think we all made mistakes tonight, myself and Henry included." He gently pats the teen on his shoulder and Hades is intrigued the pirate has such compassion. Then again, it is Henry after all.
"We're just lucky Rhye was there to stop that Hyde character. Isn't that what's important?"
All four heroes deflate into themselves at Hook's words. Henry finally lifts his head and those deep hazel eyes meet Hades' own. "I'm sorry," he says meekly, his voice that of a child half his age. "I didn't mean for you to…" The boy swallows his sob and then runs from the room.
"I'll go talk to him," Emma says quietly.
Regina nods. With both parents in agreement, the tension in the room dissipates.
"So," Snow states with a heavy sigh. "Now what."
"Now," Regina says as she shakes out her hands, "I'm going to heal him."
"Err… well…" The blonde doctor looks nervous.
Regina whirls to face him. "What?"
"You might not want to do that just yet."
"Why not?"
He points towards the right side of Hades' bed. Hades tilts his head painfully to the left, and sees the trio of IV bags hanging from the silver hook of the metal stand. "He's got a lot of chemicals pumping through his bloodstream right now. I don't claim to be an expert on magic, but my experience with it shows that it doesn't mix well with modern medicine."
David glances at Hades, a mixture of respect and pity in his eyes. "We can't risk it, Regina. It will have to wait until tomorrow - when the drugs are out of his system."
Snow looks at the doctor. "But won't he be in pain?"
"Yes. That's what happens when you stop administering pain medications to a patient who needs them."
The brunette shakes her short dark hair. "We can't risk that."
"Sorry," Regina murmurs to Hades with sincerity. "Once you're feeling a little better, I promise I'll fix you up." She shoots a black look at the doctor. "Next time, talk to us before you dope up one of our friends, okay?"
The doctor shrugs.
"We should let him rest, Regina," David murmurs, placing a hand on her shoulder.
The mayor sighs. "All right." She glances over at the bed. "We'll be back to visit tomorrow, okay Mr. Rhye?"
"All but me, luv," Hook declares as he walks across the room. He drags a short chair from behind a privacy curtain, and with a brain-shattering screech, pushes it to a stop a few feet to the right of Hades' hospital bed. "I'm going to keep the good man company tonight."
Oh dear gods, please no.
The pirate beams down at him from his bedside. "Aye, mate. Don't you worry – I'll be right here." He waves the others away with his good hand. "Did I ever tell you the story about how I got my hook? It's a good one… you see, there was this married woman I met in a bar…"
Hades closes his eyes. He is in for a long night.
oooooooooooooooooo
The next time Hades wakes, his room is empty. Sunlight is streaming through the glass panes behind him, coating everything around him in a bright and cheerful glow.
He wishes he felt the same. That doctor underestimated the severity of the headache hammering in his skull. His sides ache with every breath, and his ankle is throbbing with each passing second. He looks down at his left hand, and the pale white catheter is still in place. He traces the thin clear line to a bag of fluids handing from the IV stand.
There are women, nurses, wandering about in the other room. One notices him and approaches with a dull beige pitcher and an opaque plastic cup.
"Here you go," she murmurs in a soft, high voice while pouring him some water. "Drink it slowly, now."
Hades complies, and the cool liquid feels heavenly against his parched throat.
"There," she smiles. "I'll leave this here, but don't drink too fast, okay?" She walks away, and Hades wonders who she really is. He watches the world pass by from his hospital bed, the nurses and the Bleached Boy doctor puttering around as they go about their day.
He must have dozed off again, because the next thing he knows, Sir Godric is seated in the chair beside his bed. His bulk barely fits, but he seems adamant to squeeze it between the chrome armrests anyway. Hades isn't exactly pleased to see him, but the memory of Zelena dropping him to the ground like a stone takes away some of the edge. The bastard will think twice before tangling with her again.
"So," the burly man states quietly, "it's true. You challenged Hyde."
"Not quite," Hades answers in a voice like sandpaper. He reaches for the pitcher on the tray next to Godric, but the knight beats him to it, and pours some water for him.
"This will help, brother." There's kindness in his tone, and Hades is taken aback by it. He expected a bit more hostility. Time passes as Hades slowly sips from his cup. When he finishes, Godric speaks again.
"Hyde is most displeased with you and your new friends. He's waited a long time for the right opportunity to kidnap the boy."
"Sorry to hear that," Hades whispers with a snarl.
"He wants Henry and his book. I am not sure of his exact reasons why, but he is very motivated. He will try again."
"Let him. I'll take out the other eye next time."
Godric coughs out a laugh. "I still can't believe you did that. It is healing, but I do believe it will leave a fairly noticeable scar."
"Good. It'll match the one on the other side of his ugly face." Hades shifts his weight and turns to face Godric. "Why didn't you tell me he was a demon?"
The knight smiles softly. "Because he's not. He's mortal, just… very difficult to kill. You know his story, right?"
Hades scours his memory. Surely he's read about a Mr. Hyde. It's Jekyll and Hyde, right? The long dormant images click into place. "It's the runt. Dr. Jekyll. He is the weak link. So if he dies, they both do?"
"That's my assumption. I believe Hyde shares this belief as well."
That makes sense, and also explains why Hyde might want Henry. Maybe announcing to the town that the boy was The Author wasn't such a great idea.
"I did try to warn you," Godric taunts in an uncharacteristic singsong voice.
"Yes, you did." They both sit in silence for a while. Hades can feel Godric's eyes on him as he takes measure of all his injuries. It's awkward and humiliating. Hades got the crap beat out of him. And that, by far, is the most un-godlike thing that's happened to him since the Fates yanked him out of the Void.
Godric's expression seems to shift as the minutes pass. If Hades didn't know better, he'd say it was pride. But as quickly as it appears, it's gone. The man heaves himself to his feet and straightens his starched white shirt.
"You are no longer welcome at the mansion."
"I figured," Hades mutters softly, his raspy voice still foreign to his ears.
"Caden has packed your belongings in your trunk. He was rather distressed to hear of your dismissal from the Knights Templar. I have ordered him and the others to stay away, as any association with you will be viewed as traitorous by Mr. Hyde."
Hades sighs. He knew there would be consequences, but the loss of his cushy lifestyle stings a bit. He'll miss Caden – the young lad was helpful and kept their shared space neat as a pin. He also had a small amount of hero worship going on, and Hades liked that. Now it is gone, and Hades isn't sure what he will do next.
The harsh gaze from days before returns to Godric's eyes. "I ask that you uphold my wishes in this regard. Caden may seek you out. If he does, he only puts you both in jeopardy."
Hades nods. He gets it.
"When you are ready, Renault will bring your things to your new residence."
There is no new residence. For all he knows, he'll be bunking next to the third dumpster on the left behind Granny's.
There's a sadness in the knight's voice as he walks towards the doorway. "Good luck to you, Zacharias."
It seems he's lost the title of 'Sir' as well. Ouch.
oooooooooooooooooo
The rest of the day is uneventful, and as night falls, his room returns to muted shades of silver. The hustle and bustle of the hospital around him slows, but Hades is wide awake. And hungry. His stomach has been rumbling for the past twenty minutes.
"Hello," he calls towards the other room. "Hello… hungry patient here."
There's no response.
"Helloooo…!"
"Hello." The voice comes from the opposite end of his room, and Hades' head whirls so fast his neck hurts. Standing in the doorway, looking as dark and alluring as ever, is Zelena.
Words. Hades needs them. Dammit, why the hell is she here? The last thing he wants is for her to see him like this.
Everything about her, from the deep grey fur on the collar of her unbuttoned coat to the chilling blue ice in her eyes, screams hostility. She's a hissing tiger with fangs bared, poised and ready to strike. To call her intimidating is a gross understatement.
Her scowl is the epitome of disdain as she strides over to his bed. "Here's a little tip. If you want to page a nurse, you press this shiny red button." She hands him a flat rectangular device with a wire that runs under his bed. Hades pushes the red icon and a small square panel illuminates on the far wall. Thirty seconds later, the soft-speaking nurse from this morning is at his doorway.
"Is everything okay?"
"Your patient is hungry," Zelena snarls. "If you were doing your job, you'd know that."
The nurse's lower lip trembles in apprehension. Whoever she is, she's had a run-in with Zelena in the past. "Yes… I'll speak with the doctor and get him something right away."
"See that you do."
Hades frowns. Blatant disrespect isn't his style. That woman is just doing her job. He doesn't need the hospital staff treating him poorly just because Zelena had to go and run her mouth.
"Why are you here?" he asks her, his words still a bit raspy.
She chuckles, low in her throat. "I'm here to heal you."
What?
"Don't look so horrified. I won't hurt you."
Says the woman who stabbed him through the heart with the most powerful weapon ever known to man and gods alike. A ripple of fear runs through him. It's instinctive. He's weak and broken. Defenseless. And here she is at his bedside, all fired up and spitting nails.
"You sure are a skittish thing. I don't remember doing anything to you. Did I?"
His imagination replays his death over and over again. Zelena, you have no idea.
"Where is Regina?" he asks. "She said yesterday that she would heal me."
Zelena laughs snidely. "That was four days ago, Sir Knight. You've been out of it for quite some time." She waves her hand haphazardly. "Do forgive me for not remembering your name, but honestly, I don't rightly care."
Her whole attitude sets Hades' nerves on edge. "Then why are you here?"
She shoots him her trademark glare, the one that blends revulsion and irritation into such hatred that no one is immune. "I told you. I'm here to heal you."
She reaches into her black coat and pulls out a wand. Holy hell, that's the wand Hyde had. Is Zelena secretly working for Hyde?
She's fingering it idly, turning it over from one hand to the other. "I really should thank you. The brute that used you as a punching bag took this from me. I'm quite pleased to have it back."
Hades eyes her warily. Okay, maybe she's not in cahoots with Hyde.
"My sister is… having some issues with her magic right now. Sadly, this wand doesn't work for her any longer. That's why she relinquished it to me. Part of the deal was to help your sorry ass. So do stay still, hmm?"
The wand tip glows green and Hades cringes, unsure of what will happen. "Zelena…" he pleads. Dear Gods, please don't let this woman murder him twice.
She freezes, the hand with the wand hovering over his chest. It withdraws, and she is standing at his bedside, defensive animosity now replaced with genuine confusion.
"You... know my name."
Of course he does. "Of course I do."
Her pretty eyes narrow. "How?"
"Um… Henry? Hook? Your sister? Pick a hero. Any hero."
Now one brow raises. "Hero?"
"Well, that's what they are, aren't they?"
She doesn't respond and moments pass before Hades finally breaks the silence. "So, are you going to heal me or what?"
The defenses flare back to life. "Not with that attitude."
Hades scoffs, "Oh, I see… this is all an act then? Maybe whatever weakness that keeps your sister from using that wand is affecting you as well."
She lunges at him with a toothy roar and the wand flashes bright green a mere inch from his nose, the intensity of its power heating his skin. Ice blue eyes are crackling with rage as she leans her weight against his chest. "Care to test that theory?"
He smiles. He can't help it. Zelena is an absolute force to be reckoned with, and it's as appealing as it is terrifying.
She blinks. "What in bloody hell are you grinning at?"
"You," he blurts.
The wand burns brighter. "Don't toy with me, knight."
He looks down at her lovely body pressed against his. She's never been one for chaste outfits, so it's quite a view. He lifts his gaze to hers again, and she'd be a fool not to know what he was thinking.
She's not, because she's off him and standing a good four feet away split seconds later. "How dare you…" she huffs. Her arms are crossed against her chest, the wand angled as a barrier against her heart.
"Let me give you a little tip," he tells her. "When a gorgeous woman throws herself on top of a man, he sure as hell is going to react to it. So… who's toying with whom, here?"
Her cheeks flush a delicate shade of pink. "I wasn't… I didn't…" There's a lot of emotion swirling in her, and Hades is reveling in it. So much for the tiger. Kitten might be a more accurate analogy.
Hades' grin widens. This is fun. Zelena is so used to being the aggressor in everything she does, that when the tables are turned, she doesn't quite know what to do. Perhaps he won't kill her right away, once he's back in his real body. Maybe he will keep her around for a while. Well, at least until he tires of her.
She steps back further and eyes him warily. He's seen that expression before.
"It's okay," he says softly. "I tend to have that effect on women." He pulls lightly at his hospital gown. "Ladies like a man that isn't afraid to make a fashion statement."
She's squelching back a grin. He can tell. He teases her further. "I think it is the blue flowers. They set off my eyes, you know."
That smile finally breaks free. "Are you… flirting with me?"
Hades winks at her. "Only if you want me to."
She turns absolute scarlet in embarrassment. This is entirely too easy. He waits for her snarling retort, but … it doesn't come. Instead, she seems to cower in upon herself, studying the tiles at her feet. It's completely unlike her, and there's an awkwardness that hangs silently in the air until pale blue eyes again meet his. The ice fortress has been rebuilt, and it ignites a challenge deep within him.
She's all business now. "I promised my sister I would heal you. Are you going to let me, or what?
"As you wish," he croons quietly, leaning back against the bed and laying his arms at his sides. He closes his eyes. "Do your worst, oh beautiful enchantress."
"Knock it off," she says coldly.
He peeks at her through one half-opened eye. "Knock what off, milady?"
"That. Flirt with me again, and I'll do more than mend your broken bones. You want to sing soprano at the Christmas pageant this year?"
Yikes. Would she really do that? He leans forward and opens his other eye. Yes, it appears she would. He falls back and accepts his fate. The IV pulls at his hand, and Hades remembers the doctor's warning.
"Wait. What about the IV? Medicines and magic don't mix."
She chuckles quietly. "Doctor Whale tell you that?" She shakes her head. "Such an amateur."
She hovers the wand over his left hand, and the butterfly catheter disappears. "Now stay still," she tells him. Slowly, starting at his feet, she passes the wand over him. The emerald green glow of her power shines around him, working its way up his body in a cool, tingling rush as she guides the magic over his legs, his abdomen, his ribs and finally his head.
The dull ache in his ankle is gone, as is the recurrent stabs of pain each time he breathes. But the greatest relief is in his skull, the removal of his constant headache almost brings tears of joy to his eyes.
"Thank you," he says sincerely.
She glances down at him, her expression half smug and half… something unidentifiable. "You're welcome."
He expects her to poof herself away in a cloud of green smoke, but instead she just turns quietly and exits through the side door without another word.
Three seconds after she's gone, the nurse hurries in with a tray of chicken soup and lime green Jell-O. Typical. She places it on the tray next to his bed.
"I can't believe she didn't kill you. You know who she is, right?"
Yes, you cowardly little thing, I know. "She healed me," he tells her pointedly. He wiggles his ankle as proof. "See? She's not all bad."
"You stood up to her. I saw you two talking. How did you do it? Weren't you scared?"
Of course he was. "Nope."
"Well, you're a braver soul than I will ever be. I'm sorry the food isn't all that great. The doctor doesn't want you eating anything substantial. You've been on fluids for days and need to take it easy."
"This'll be fine, thank you" he tells her dismissively as he stirs his lukewarm soup with the plastic spoon.
The hospital grows cold and quiet around him, yet Hades remains wide awake. He stares at the ceiling long into the night, wondering about Zelena, about Regina and the wand, and most importantly, where the hell he's going to sleep after tonight.
oooooooooooooooooo
The next morning dawns as dreary as Hades' mood. Rain is sheeting against his window as he leans against the metal frame, peering out at the streets of Storybrooke below. He feels fantastic physically; Zelena definitely healed him. Yet mentally he's a giant mess.
He has nowhere to go. He's going to have to ask the heroes for help. The idea of groveling for a place to stay, like a slovenly beggar, is so far beneath him that he can't even begin to know how to do it.
The clock on the far wall in the other room reads 10:45 a.m. Per this morning's nurse, a serious older woman with a permanent scowl, the rather useless doctor will be in for a final check-up in fifteen minutes. After that, Hades is free to go.
What if the heroes don't show? According to Zelena, it's been days since the pirate sat at his bedside and blathered on for hours about stealing the Dark One's first wife. Hades felt it prudent not to point out that said woman was now swimming in the River of Souls for all eternity, courtesy of her first husband's cruelty.
The minutes pass quickly, and suddenly Dr. Incompetent is there in his room, giving him a rather invasive examination.
"It truly is miraculous," he murmurs, "what they can do with their magic. Which one healed you? The blonde or the brunette?"
"Neither," Hades replies. "The redhead."
Bleach Boy gasps. "Not… the witch?"
"One and the same."
"Well, I'm glad I missed her this time around. She has a rather nasty habit of hurling me into walls." He presses gently against Hades' ribcage. It doesn't even twinge. "Yet she does beautiful work. There's no denying that. How do you feel?"
"I feel fine."
"Well then, Mr. Rhye, you are free to go. Your belongings are in the clear bag under your bed and the discharge desk is down the main hallway on the left." The spiky-haired man leaves, and Hades retrieves the bag from under his bed. Inside are the dark grey pants and light blue shirt he wore the day of the festival, along with his undergarments and boots. But it's difficult to tell it all apart, as everything is coated stiff with his blood - dark brown stains patterned through nearly every fiber.
Was he really hurt this badly? It seems so. He refuses to open the bag – he knows what rotten blood smells like. He places it in the wastebasket near the doorway and sighs, lost and alone. He has nowhere to go and now nothing to wear but a white hospital gown and thin blue socks.
Maybe he can ask the receptionist to call the mansion. Renault could at least bring over his trunk full of clothes.
He has no other options. So, dirty and unshaven, with his ass on display for all of Storybrooke to see, he meanders his way through the hospital towards the discharge window. Slovenly beggar, indeed. He's nearly there when there is a loud clambering of footsteps behind him.
"Sir Rhye! Stop!"
It's Snow White, and her husband, and daughter, and grandson. And yes, there's the pirate, carrying a brown paper bag.
Snow is looking at him in mild horror. "Where in the world do you think you're going… like that?"
Hades shrugs. "To discharge. The doctor released me a few minutes ago. Don't worry, I was going to have the receptionist call the mansion. The manservant there will bring me my clothing." And everything else I own.
Henry grins up at him. "No, he won't. We already took care of everything."
Hook hands him the bag. It's heavier than he expected. What's this? "We brought you something a little more decent to wear. And we're taking you to Granny's - to celebrate your escape from this horrible place."
"After that," the Savior smiles happily, cuddling up to her pirate, "we'd like to show you your new home."
Hades is floored. "I beg your pardon?"
All five of them are positively beaming. "Can I tell him?" Henry asks.
"Go ahead," David replies smoothly. "It was your idea."
"We know you don't have anywhere to stay. Sir Godric came by the police station the other day. I was there too – he's not the nicest guy. He and my mom Regina got into a big fight; it was pretty nasty."
"Henry," his mom warns.
"Anyway, he said that we all were enemies of Mr. Hyde, especially you. He made a snide remark about you being left to fend for yourself, since we wouldn't help you. And…"
"That isn't true, Sir Rhye," Snow interrupts softly.
Henry continues, "Right… so I talked to Violet who talked to her friend Janice who talked to Robert who talked to Caden and… we found out that they booted you from the mansion." The boy's eyes grow dark with emotion. "Because of me." Just as quickly, they recover. "So, since Leroy and the other dwarves are almost done fixing up the library, I thought it would be perfect for you to stay there."
Hades tries to stifle his scowl. In the library. With the two stall lavatory and all the books. Where's he going to sleep, under the circulation desk?
"Henry," Emma chides, clearly reading Hades' expression, "you'd better elaborate on some of the more pertinent details. Such as where in the library he'll be staying."
"Oh! Yeah, see – that's the best part. The library has a studio apartment attached to it. It's specifically for the librarian. Belle used to stay there, before she married my granddad, and now you can stay there. For free. Perk of the job, right Mom?"
"Right, kid." She turns her green eyes to Hades. "Belle had a thing for white lace and florals, so with a little help from Killian here, Regina and I turned it into what we think will be a suitable bachelor pad."
"I helped!" Snow chimes in.
"Yes, mom."
"Well, I did," she replies, affronted. She faces Hades. "You needed food, so I took care of all that. That fridge of yours is well stocked."
"There's something from me in your new home as well," Charming says with a grin. "We'll talk about it later, but I think it will come in handy should anyone give you trouble again."
He's stunned. He genuinely doesn't know what to say. What they've done for him goes beyond generosity. They've solved all his problems, and he didn't even have to ask. "I… thank you."
The pirate clamps his hand down on Hades' shoulder. "You didn't think we were going to leave you out in the cold, did you mate? You're one of us now."
He smiles weakly. Accepting their kindness is one thing, but all of Hell will freeze over before he ever becomes a damned hero.