Simon: Guys! Guys! We've got new reviews!
Jack: Why do these people keep reviewing? It's a pain and we're not even that interesting. Except for me, of course.
Roger: And me, right?
Jack: shakes head
Roger: Oh.
Ralph: You know, Jack, "interesting" has many meanings. Some of which aren't good. At all.
Jack: Most of them don't mean "boring as paste." Which you are.
Ralph: You-
Simon: Guys, let's answer our reviews!
Roger: Yeah! Look, this first reviewer likes me! She got super excited that I gave her a hug. hugs again
Jack: Haha, you loser.
Ralph: Hugs are good for your soul.
Jack: Whatever.
Simon: The first note is for me. It says, " Ahem, well first of all, I bet Jack was lying. You're probably the best singer out of all of them cuz you're cool like that."
Jack: You're a good enough singer...out of a group of babies, maybe. But not better than me. Can you sing a C sharp?
Simon: Wh-what?
Jack: Didn't think so. Next question.
Simon: :( Next ones are for Roger. "Aw, why wouldn't Jack want to be your friend? I would want to be your friend cuz you're awesome! Do you regret anything you did while you were on the island?"
Roger: Jack doesn't want to be my friend because he doesn't have any friends and he's afraid to open up.
Jack: I have friends. They just aren't losers like you guys.
Roger: Anyway, I don't regret anything that happened on the island.
Piggy: coughcough
Roger: What? Oh. :/
: Piggy: staring at Roger
Roger: :|
Ralph: coughs Awkwaaaaard.
Jack: Hey, while we're at it, do I have any questions?
Simon: Yep. "Why can't you be nice?"
Jack: You're making that up because your feelings are hurt.
Simon: No, it's a question. Hammsters wants you to be nice to Roger.
Ralph: Why? Even I wouldn't be nice to Roger...
Roger: Hey, that's mean.
Ralph. Sorry.
Simon: Jack, Hammsters also wants a hug from you.
Jack: Do I have to?
Simon: Yes.
Jack: Wait, is it safe to hug strangers over the internet? What if I get cooties?
Simon: Ask Roger.
Jack: If a loser like him can do it, so can I. hugs
Piggy: Wait. You're afraid of cooties?
Jack: What? What are you talking about?
Piggy: looks down
Ralph: snerk
Simon: Okay, the next question is for Piggy. "Do you have a real name?"
Piggy: Of course I have a real name. It's-
Jack: Fatty.
Piggy: No, it's-
Jack: Shlumpface.
Roger: That's not what we called him.
Jack: I know. We called him Fatty or Piggy most of the time, but near the end we just called him "dead."
Piggy: Wha- you- you-
Simon: NEXT QUESTION! For RALPH! "Why won't you be friends with Piggy?"
Ralph: I was friends with Piggy. I was.
Jack: You told all of us to call him Piggy.
Ralph: I told you not to call him Fatty.
Roger: You guys are stupid. Let's move on to the next question. Simon?
Simon: Right. This one's for me. It says, " Would you like to borrow my emergency duct tape so that you can finish a friggin' sentence without these guys interrupting?" Yes, I would love to. Thank you. She also wants to know my age and my favorite color.
: Jack: How old are you, anyway?
Simon: I'm-
Jack: Four.
Simon: No, I'm-
Jack: No, I got it. Two! cackles
Simon: DUCT TAPE PLEASE!
Jack: is duct taped Mmmf mffff.
Simon: That came in handy. Anyway, I'm-
Roger: Three. You act younger, though.
Simon: I don't like any of you people.
Roger: What's your favorite color? Pink?
Simon: Actually, it's green.
Roger: cracks up
Simon: What's wrong with that?
: Roger: Green's a baby color.
Simon: What's not a baby color?
Roger: Black.
Simon: Ummmm. Alrighty, thank you for telling me that.
Roger: Any time.
Simon: rolls eyes We have some more questions from other people. This one's for me. "I'm always wanted to know, has Jack always made fun of you, even before your plaine crashed on the island?" Well-
Jack: Of course. Because you're a baby.
Simon: You keep saying that and I don't know what you mean.
: Jack: You faint all the time.
Simon: I can't help it!
Jack: You should work harder on not fainting, and not complaining so much.
Simon: What do I complain about?
Jack: Fainting.
Simon: First, I don't complain about that. And again, I can't help it.
Jack: You're complaining about it right now.
Simon: How?
Jack: Because you don't like it when I make fun of you. Which is good. You're not supposed to.
Simon: I know that.
Jack: So stop complaining and stop fainting.
Simon: Why does it bother you so much?
Jack: Because it embarrasses me. As a member of the choir, you're supposed to hold yourself together.
Simon: Just because I fainted on a hot island when I was dehydrated doesn't mean I'm not together.
Jack: No one else fainted but you, though.
Simon: Not that you know of.
Jack: Oh, suddenly you're the gossip of the island?
Simon: I'm not a gossip!
Ralph: This is ridiculous, guys. Let's move on. Please?
Simon: This question is for you, Ralph. "You really seem to hate your hair...perhaps a little TOO much- any particular reason?"
Ralph: Where do I begin?
Jack: How about you don't begin?
Ralph: Shut up. I just don't like it. But at least I'm not a ginger like Jack.
Jack: Don't. Call. Me. That.
Ralph: Ginger!
Jack: You're going to be sorry. You really are-
Simon: Hey Roger! "What the heck was up with that whole stone-throwing thing with henry?"
Roger: What stone throwing thing? I did plenty of that.
Simon: Remember? You threw stones near him but not at him.
Roger: Oh. That. I didn't know how fun it was to hurt people.
Simon: Lovely.
Piggy: Look! A question for me! "The other boys kind of acted like jerks to you...did you have any friends on the island?"
Jack: No.
Piggy: Jackkkk! That was my question.
Jack: I just knew the answer and was saving you the trouble.
Piggy: But that's mean!
Jack: It's true. No one liked you and no one likes you now. You're too whiny.
Piggy: I'm not whiny!
Simon: I liked Piggy. :(
Jack: Who said your opinion counted?
Simon: :(
Ralph: You're a bully, Jack.
Jack: Who said I cared?
Simon: _ Moving on? This is for me! " Hi, simon! (air hug!) You had a little trouble with public speaking during the assemblies. Is there any reason for this? And to all the boys who laughed at you, they are just being mean. And you are not a baby."
Jack: snort They're all lying, you know. We all know you're a baby and we hate you for it.
Simon: Stop it. Anyway, I kind of get nervous while talking-
Jack: Because you don't know how to act like a grown up and talk.
Simon: But-
Jack: Baby.
Simon: B-buh buh buh-
Jack: BABY.
Simon: DUCT TAPE!
Jack: MMMMPH! MMMMFFFFFF.
Simon: Anyway, I have trouble speaking because people have always criticized me, so I guess I just get a little nervous that it'll happen again.
Jack: MMMMMMPH! MMMMSKDFHSDFKJHAJKHFSJKHDJ SKDFJKH SLJDLFKDJHDSKDJf HLKSDFLKSJDHF! MMMM!
Simon: Hammsters, it was very nice of you to lend me your duct tape, but I really don't think it's working. :( gives back
Jack: MMmmmmm!
Simon. Oh, fine. takes off duct tape
Jack: NEVER DO THAT AGAIN!
Simon: Then stop interrupting me!
Jack: :(
Ralph: Guys, these questions are getting repetitive and I'm tired. Can we go home now?
Jack: You know, I was about to say the same thing. But I enjoy watching you suffer.
Ralph: That's creepy, you know.
Jack: Whatever.
Simon: Uh...so...do we keep going?
Jack: No. I want to go home.
Simon: Okay. I guess we'll answer the other questions as soon as we can.
Ralph: Keep sending questions! We like them.
Jack: I don't like them. Bye, guys. walks out
Simon: Jack is just being moody. Bye, everyone!