Kylo sat aboard the shuttle, trying to remain calm. So far, he was failing miserably. His heart pounded, his hands shook. And why? This was no different than any other mission. Destroy the base, kill whoever gets in your way. He'd done it countless times. It should be easy. Then why couldn't he shake this feeling of doom? It wasn't about Rey; that would have at least made sense. It would have been only natural for him to worry about the woman he loved. But Rey wasn't even going to be there, Snoke had said so himself. She was going to be off with the rest of the rebel scum, raiding the First Order outpost on Tatooine. There was no reason to worry.
A Stormtrooper marched over. "Sir, we are approaching our destination," he said.
"Yes," Kylo sighed. He didn't move.
The Stormtrooper seemed confused. He waited for Kylo to give orders. None came. "Shouldn't we prepare for landing?" he ventured.
"Yes," Kylo said again.
"And…do you have any orders?"
"Just…destroy it. The whole thing. Kill everyone. Isn't that what we always do?"
"Sir?" The Stormtrooper asked. "Are you alright?"
"Why wouldn't I be?" Kylo stood up and adjusted his mask. It was time. "Prepare for landing!" he called out.
His troops lined up, ready to storm the base. Kylo stood behind them, grateful that his mask hid his anxiety. He couldn't afford to look weak. The ship landed, the door slid open. The Stormtroopers ran out into the burning sunlight. After a brief hesitation, Kylo followed.
It was complete chaos. Blaster shots came from all directions, screams rang out. Caught off guard, the base personnel made easy targets. Bodies covered the ground. Buildings were soon engulfed in flames. Much as Kylo had expected, it was no different than any other raid. Still, something was off. He felt dizzy, overwhelmed. People ran by and he made no effort to stop them. In the past he'd moved through crowds like a god, cutting people down as if they were nothing. He'd been a terrifying creature, heartless and without emotion. He hadn't seen the bodies fall to the ground, hadn't heard the cries of agony. No, that wasn't exactly true. He'd seen and heard everything. He just hadn't cared. Now everything was different, he was different. His walls had come down and he couldn't put them back up. He'd let himself feel.
Suddenly, he heard a commotion. Two of his men fell to the ground, dead. A young woman stood over them, lightsaber in hand. Rey turned to another trooper, quickly disarming him and throwing him to the ground. Her opponents defeated, she raced over to pull a woman from the burning infirmary. Despite the gravity of the situation, Kylo couldn't help but admire her. Even now, she was thinking of others. Once the woman was safe, Rey raced over to attack a fresh group of Stormtroopers. Kylo knew he should do something, kill her, disable her, something. But he just kept watching, captivated. Though Rey fought with an undeniable grace, her past as a scavenger was evident. Her style was a perfect mixture of traditional Jedi techniques and good old fashioned street fighting. She was beautiful, she was deadly. His Stormtroopers didn't stand a chance.
Kylo knew he had a golden opportunity. Rey was distracted, there was no one around to help her. He could disarm her, knock her out. He'd gather her into his arms, take her on board the ship. They'd be together again. Still, he didn't move. Not until he heard Rey scream. She'd bent over to help an injured man, only to be attacked from behind. A Stormtrooper had hit her over the head with his blaster. He held the gun to her temple, ready to fire.
"Wait!" Kylo heard himself cry. He took a deep breath, composing himself. "Bring her to me," he commanded.