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Artemis had always thought he was immune to female attraction, but it seemed that exercising had a most unfortunate side-effect. Now he was just another boy/man (he couldn't decide which, because although the idea of forever being a child prodigy was compelling, so was the thought of shaving), and he would no longer be cringed away from or ignored.
"This…sucks!" Artemis muttered, hurrying into the manor, cheeks flaring. He wasn't embarrassed because of his incredibly awkward use of colloquial language – he still hadn't gotten the hang of it, and to be completely honest he wasn't very bothered by it.
He was in utter discomfit because a group of tweenage girls had cornered him on the street and nearly smothered him with their incessant giggling and Taylor Swift perfume (at least, that's what he assumed, since he had been dealing with tweenagers). Now he changed gracefully from flaming scarlet to sickly-pale as the memories forced their way to the front of his brain.
"Hehe omigod go talk to him already!"
"Ew, he's like three years older than you, Becks!"
"You talk to him for me!"
Apparently, 'you' meant 'a dozen or so girls', because a very frightened Artemis trying to hide behind a newspaper outside a coffee shop – he had been studying up on Rey Diaz, the drug lord and leader of Cobra – was quickly submerged.
A coughing, spluttering red mess, Artemis had barely made it home alive.
"This is…stupid." Artemis marched upstairs to his study, throwing himself into his chair and pulling up a browser. "This is…" He paused, already out of colloquial words. "This sucks."
He typed Rey Diaz into the search bar and almost pounded the enter key in his frustration. He felt like screaming.
The notorious name churned out pages and pages of results, passing a hundred thousand hits easily. Clearly, this man had stirred up a lot of trouble.
Artemis began trawling the Internet, going through the articles, some even dating back to the nineties. A notebook at his side, he began taking down notes.
About an hour into his research, the phone rang. Artemis rubbed his eyes and grabbed it.
"Yes, hello?" he said, a little irritated. He was tired and this morning had not been enjoyable.
"Artemis? Is this Artemis?"
Artemis blinked. That voice sounded familiar, but he couldn't quite pinpoint it.
"…Artemis the Second speaking."
"Oh, Artemis! I'm so glad to hear from you! I had always been planning to meet up with you some day, but I never got round to it – how are you?"
"Uh…" Artemis blinked rather rapidly, confusion still stirring up his hazy brain. "Who is this?"
There was a sharp intake of breath on the other side.
"It's Minerva, you fool! Minerva Paradizo! How could you forget me?"
Frowning, Artemis brought back memories of the French girl. She had been a child prodigy as well when they met so many years ago. Blonde curls, glasses, fairly attractive – yes, he remembered her. One of the few who could match his wits.
"Oh, yes, Minerva. How do you do?"
Minerva sounded disappointed. "You don't seem very enthusiastic."
"Mmm." Artemis wasn't in the mood for conversation, even if he was rather interested in hearing from her again. "Could I call you back? I'm rather tired and –"
"Oh, but I just wanted to ask you something," said Minerva. "Really, just one thing."
"Mmm," said Artemis.
"Stop saying that!"
"Saying what?"
"You – ugh." Minerva sighed, then giggled. "All right, so I wanted to ask you if you wanted to go to Hard Rock Café with me today, the one near your manor. I've been dying to meet you again. Do you know how awfully boring it actually is, not having anyone at my intellectual level?"
Artemis turned his computer off, suddenly very weary. "You do get used to it."
"Well, I never did. Not really. So, what do you say?"
Swivelling slowly in his chair, Artemis stared at the ceiling as he thought idly. Well, why not? I might as well get used to being Holly-free and reach out a little, flirt a bit, be like other guys my age, he thought. He should do something, anyway, instead of just moping about.
"Five?" he said.
Artemis almost didn't recognise Minerva when he went into the café. There was a young, slender woman sitting at a table near the back, her long blonde hair falling in loose curls and framing a pretty face. Artemis, for some reason looking for a young girl instead of a young woman, completely overlooked her until his eyes roved over her once more and she gave him a huge smile. Jumping to her feet, she ran towards him. Without a warning she leapt at him, her arms around his neck and her legs in the air.
Artemis cried out and staggered backwards, barely keeping his balance for long enough to wrap his arms around her before crashing into a table and falling to the ground.
Minerva lifted her torso up using her arms, relieving the weight on Artemis's chest, and grinned down at him.
"Sorry," she said. "But I saw those toned arms of yours and I just had to try."
Wincing, Artemis didn't answer. He began to raise his head before groaning and dropping it back to the ground.
"It's nice to meet you too, Minerva," he murmured.
The manager came rushing towards them and helped Artemis to his feet, talking rapidly but somehow having every word missed by the boy.
"…If nothing's broken, because we have a phone and I would be happy to call the ambulance."
"Mmm," said Artemis, limping to the nearest table. "You're welcome."
Five minutes later, Artemis and Minerva were safely seated and waiting for their coffee to arrive.
"So," said Minerva, smiling at him, "You've really changed a lot. And your dress sense – I'm extremely glad you finally decided to reserve those suits for formal occasions."
"I…uh…thank you," said Artemis, for some reason rather shy. He stared at her face, his fingers tangled together on his lap. Why was he feeling like this?
"Is there something on my face?" she asked suddenly.
"No! No," Artemis said quickly. "I…I was just thinking that I had never seen such a beautiful face before." Apart from Holly, in his opinion, but he was never to think of her again.
This had not meant to be a pickup line of any sort, as he was simply being honest, but Minerva blushed and began fanning herself in as nonchalant a way as possible.
"Thanks," she said, giggling. "You're rather attractive yourself."
Artemis blinked. He had successfully – and inadvertently – flirted with this woman. She was now looking at him in a way rather reminiscent of Holly, and he felt sick. He looked away just as the coffee came, and he grabbed his immediately to avoid making eye contact with Minerva. The hot liquid burnt his tongue as he drank and he barely managed to cover a wince.
Minerva wrapped her long fingers around her coffee. "How have you been doing?" she asked.
Artemis shrugged. "All right."
"Well, I've been doing superb," she said, looking smug. "I won a Nobel Prize, did you know?"
"No," said Artemis. "I did not."
There was a pause in which Minerva stared at him patronisingly and Artemis stared back in wonder. He couldn't wrap his head around the fact that the young French girl he had met a few years ago had blossomed so suddenly into a beautiful woman.
Was it possible that puberty even worked like that? How was that possible? He really must research this – he had always thought he knew everything about the subject (and almost every other subject about everything), but it seemed that Shakespeare was correct: "Experience is by industry achieved, and perfected by the swift course of time". It seemed he would perfect his knowledge on puberty through experience, and research was clearly not enough.
He must have said the quote out loud because Minerva was looking at him strangely.
"Shakespeare?" she said, her plucked eyebrows raised.
"Indeed." Artemis chanced another sip at his coffee, and found to his relief that he got away unscathed. "So, tell me. How did you manage to get a Nobel Prize? It was only a matter of time, of course, but I'm curious. In fact, I would have expected you to receive one years ago."
Minerva smirked at this flattering comment. "Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them," she said in a superior manner, stirring her cappuccino. "I was born great, you were born great; but while you had more greatness thrust upon you – forced to save me, which I'm thankful of, by the way, forced to save the People, forced into crime to exercise your enormous brain –"
"Another Shakespeare quote, I see," said Artemis, "And also, I did not force myself into crime to exercise my enormous brain. I was simply rather like-minded with criminals such as my –"
"– While I achieved more greatness by doing good," continued Minerva, speaking over him. People at nearby tables glanced over nervously, confused by the strange conversation. "What I'm saying is, I haven't just won the Nobel Prize. I've also won countless other, although lesser, prizes, and I write psychology books read by renown scientists all over the globe. My name is famous; I achieved greatness. I wasn't forced into anything. So I could go at my own pace. Nothing's a race anymore; I don't work for anyone. I think it's time you did as I do."
More intrigued than he expected, Artemis leant back and steepled his fingers. His head was clearer now, no longer muddled by annoying, intruding thoughts. "Hmm," he said. "So you're telling me that I should only lend my 'greatness' as I wish?"
"You shouldn't have to be relied on by everyone all the time," agreed Minerva. "I, personally, absolutely loathe being controlled. Isn't it so frustrating when you don't have time to yourself, work on a few private projects, possibly to release to the public?"
Artemis felt like laughing. Don't have time to himself? He had far too much time to himself, that was the problem. But he saw what she meant.
"I don't particularly have much interest in being famous," he said. Minerva's eyebrows rose even higher.
"Oh, you don't?" she said. "My, Artemis, you really have changed."
"I craved gold," said Artemis. "Not status."
"You can get gold by being famous."
Artemis rolled his eyes. Sometimes, as much of a genius as she was, Minerva could be quite transparent.
"What project do you want my aid with?" he asked.
Minerva was stunned by his outright question. "I –"
"Really, you don't have to beat around the bush," he added. Minerva's cheeks darkened slightly.
"Well, it's not big," she said. "It's not much work. Just a project." She paused. "It has to do with the Ireland Conference."
Now it was Artemis's turn to raise his eyebrows. "Oh?"
"I want to take part in it," she said in a rush. Artemis sat up so abruptly that his head span.
"What?" he said. "Are you – you're not serious?"
Still red, Minerva drank some coffee in silence. Artemis watched her in disbelief.
"Why?" he said.
Minerva set her cup down. "Artemis, you do know that I have never forgiven you for outwitting me regarding the demon a while back, don't you?"
Artemis, despite his shock at what his friend wanted to do, began to wonder whether her over-the-top display of affection earlier had simply been bait, and at the moment he found the only thing he wanted to do was run – regardless of whether or not he would get an answer out of her concerning the conference.
"Well, I suppose I –"
"Good, just clearing that up. Also, this is besides the point, but you've gotten rather mellow. You're letting me walk all over you. What is the matter with you? Perhaps the suits had some sort of strange power that made you a walking, talking git?" She was back to normal now, speaking in that pompous manner of hers.
"A what?"
Minerva slapped her hand on the table, making Artemis jump. "But as I said, that's besides the point. I'm curious about something; the last time we met I said you would be my next project. Did you ever stop to wonder about what I meant by that?"
Artemis, thoroughly confused by how quickly the conversation had changed, barely managed a shake of his head. Minerva sighed.
"Typical," she said. "I suppose you'll find out, then."
Artemis blinked. "Does this have anything to do with the project you were talking about earlier?"
Smiling a little impishly, Minerva got to her feet.
"I don't know," she said. "Does it?"
Artemis stood up as well. "I'll pay," he said. Minerva giggled.
"Ooh, you're becoming quite the gentleman, aren't you?" she said, and she patted his cheek. Artemis lurched backwards instinctively and Minerva laughed. "We will speak again soon, okay? I'm assuming you've accepted to join in on my project, so we'll have to keep in contact."
"I –" Artemis stopped. Minerva was nearly at the door now. Thoughts rushed through his head – the most prominent was the one he had been thinking about earlier in the day. I might as well get used to being Holly-free and reach out a little, flirt a bit, be like other guys my age. "Would you like to go on a date with me on Saturday?"
Minerva's smile widened, revealing straight white teeth. "I should love to."
I can't remember Minerva. Therefore, I just made her into something vaguely Minerva-ish, in my head.