Disclaimer: Property of A&E and ABC. Not Mine.

Initially, there is nothing. But as his consciousness returns, he feels warmth enveloping him, drowning him in comfort and peace. Tangible senses are slow to recover, yet eventually they do, one by one. Scent is first. It seems death smells like a tropical paradise. There is the tang of salt water mixed with the perfume of hot sand and hibiscus. Sound follows; the faint cries of seabirds intertwine with the rustle of palm leaves and the soft splash of the ocean tide. Touch is third. In addition to the warmth bathing his body, there is the feel of soft cotton on his chest, and stiffer material around his waist. His back is pressed against a hard, slatted surface - which seems unusual. Taste is next; Hades traces his tongue over his upper lip, removing the salty sweat beading along the edge of his unshaven skin. Sight is last, as he fears what he will see. He cracks one eye open and then the other, squinting against the brightness. He is sprawled out along a white recliner in the center of a square thatched gazebo. Sheer curtains line only two sides, allowing the afternoon sun to coat him fully. A seagull hovers in the distance before splashing into the crystalline blue waters before him.

This must be the Elysian Fields. Heaven. Thank the Gods! Joy flows through him as he sighs in relief, letting his new reality sink in. He did not disappear from existence like the Fates proclaimed. His soul survived. Hades peers down at his chest, noting the faded Hawaiian shirt, the pattern garish and clashing against a pair of outdated cargo shorts and orange-and-blue Teva sandals. Apparently the Fields lack a sense of fashion.

He twirls his wrist and is delighted when blue fire readily surrounds him and quickly changes his attire from tacky to tasteful. Grateful to whatever higher deity granted him his powers in the afterlife, he leans back against the curved slats and with a snap of his fingers, adds an expensive pair of Ray-Ban's to his ensemble.

Moments pass, and the heat of the sun starts to sting his legs. Restless, he rises and scans the shoreline. There isn't a sign of human life anywhere. It's beautiful, but isolated, and Hades' heart drops. What if this is not the Fields but his own version of Hell? To live in paradise, but never see another soul, living or dead, for all eternity? Hades may be an introvert, but the idea of forced isolation makes his blood run cold. He'll never see Zelena again. Or Henry. Or anyone.

"Hello?" he calls, walking to the edge of the gazebo. "Anyone here?"

The faint rustling of the wind through the palm fronds is his only reply. With apprehension in his gut, he calls forth his power in attempts to teleport away, but the strong, proud voice of his brother breaks through the crackling blue fire and traps him in place.

"And just where do you think you're going?"

Hades turns towards the grove. Zeus is parading out of the shadows, each hand sporting a large, slushy cocktail – complete with paper umbrella and pineapple wedge.

It's official. He's in Hell.

His brother snaps his fingers and Hades' feet are released. "Piña Colada? They're pretty good. Not as good as the ones we had that time in ancient Greece, but they'll do."

Hades numbly takes the offered drink and stares at his older brother, who is in the process of settling himself into a newly created clone of Hades' beach recliner. He wears a similar 90's outfit of clashing Hawaiian shirt and cargo pants, but his Tevas are gold and white.

"Why are you here?" Hades asks.

"I like it here. It's peaceful. Sit. Take a load off, little bro. You've had a big day."

"I'll say. I'm in Hell."

Zeus snorts, inhaling a bit of the Piña Colada he was slurping. With a choked gasp he sputters, "This isn't Hell. This is the Bahamas." He sips at the hot pink straw and swallows loudly. "Somewhere in Black Point, I think."

Hades brows narrow to a fine point. "That isn't funny. I'm dead."

Zeus leans back in his lounge chair, eyes closed. "Nope. You're not."

This is a trick. Another way for Zeus to toy with his soul.

"I'm done with your games. You won, okay? I admit it. Father was right. You're the proper ruler of Olympus."

Zeus raises one eyelid. "Impressive. But it still doesn't change anything. You're not dead." He closes it again and wiggles his shoulders against the chair, presumably to make himself comfortable. "Gods can't die."

Hades lowers his sunglasses and peers down at his brother. It can't be true. The last thing he heard was Zelena's cry as Atropos cut his thread of life. He felt the snap in his soul when the string was severed. He is absolutely, unequivocally dead.

"C'mon Hades," Zeus says, patting the empty recliner next to him. "Relax. Enjoy your drink. The movie's about to start." With a wave of his tanned hand, a huge flat screen monitor appears at the front of the gazebo, blocking the view of the ocean. "It's a good one." A golden remote appears in Zeus' left hand and he points it at the screen. An image of Hades appears, frozen in the exact moment where Zelena impaled him with the Crystal in the middle of Regina's office.

Yup. This is Hell. Without a doubt.

"We can fast-forward through the scary parts if they bother you." With a grin he pushes the remote and the screen is overlaid with black-and-white static, similar to the first VCRs. When Zeus lifts his thumb, Hades is standing before the Fates, naked as a jaybird.

"Whoops! No need to see that. Might scare the locals." He fast-forwards again to when Hades first ran into Godric and the knights as Sir Rhye. "Come! Sit."

Hades sighs. He might as well get this over with. He removes his sunglasses and settles into his recliner, tucking the drink under his chair. The world seems to dim around them as Zeus pushes 'play'. It's surreal to see his mortal body wandering around on the screen; so clunky, so unrefined. The scenes progress slowly, with Hades and the others listening to Hyde's speech and then Hades speaking with Renault about preparing a bath.

Zeus yawns. "This is boring. Let's get to the good parts." He fast-forwards through Hades' first bath in the claw foot tub and stops at Hades starting to tell The Odyssey in the tavern. "You were a riot that night. We all thought so. We had no idea you were so damned entertaining. Sometime after you're settled we'll all have to go out drinking again."

Hades flips his head to the right. "Who's 'we'?"

Zeus turns to face him, brows raised. "You didn't think I was going to go through all that by myself, did you? I'm surprised you couldn't pick them out – they almost gave themselves away."

Hades watches his drunken mortal body dance about the screen. He looks…happy. The other knights are smiling at every quip he makes. The mousy barmaid is clinging to the blonde knight Nathanial, the former clearly engrossed with her man rather than Hades' story. Godric and Trefast are side by side, each grinning ear-to-ear. Alphonse is slurping at his mug, cheeks pink and eyes blurred, and that fifth knight is fidgeting with his fingernails, looking incredibly bored.

He blinks and suddenly it's shockingly clear. The waitress is Aphrodite. Her Scandinavian lover Nathanial is Ares. Alphonse is Dionysus. Trefast has to be Apollo – he and Zeus were always thick as thieves. But the fifth…

"I see them. Who is the one with the thick accent? I never did get his name."

Zeus chuckles. "It's not a 'he'."

Hades studies the screen. "Artemis."

"She thought it would be fun to be male, and of course, she didn't want to miss out on anything her brother was doing. But between you and me - she was a total downer the entire time."

"Renault?"

"You tell me."

"Charon?" Hades whirls abruptly, voice rising. "You pulled Charon from ferry duty to do... what? Act as your butler? Who took his place? Who brought the souls into the Underworld?"

Zeus waves idly. "You and your precious souls! Relax! I sent Thanatos. He had a blast. Wore a train conductor hat under the cloak the entire time."

"Caden," Hades murmurs. "Dear Gods… Hermes?"

His brother's grin is pristinely white. "He was so happy, Hades. You have no idea. He has always admired you and to play such an important role – he couldn't sit still for days. Flew back and forth over Asia ten times just to burn off his energy."

The screen is now showing a very drunken Sir Zacharias prattling on about the Death Star and Darth Vader. Hades cringes. "I don't remember this part."

"You were wasted. It was glorious. The super serious Hades, super smashed out of his mind."

Rhye is now holding up both hands to the sky, and the crowd around him is cheering and applauding. There are more people in the tavern than Hades remembers. A great deal more.

Dear Gods. He groans in embarrassment as he realizes what he's seeing. "Did you drag everyone from Olympus to watch me humiliate myself?"

"Not all of them, no. But brother, it was a sight to see. You were fun."

Hades squints at the goofily grinning Rhye, the other gods-in-disguise patting him on his shoulders. "I don't remember any of it." A memory floats to the surface and Hades snags the remote from Zeus' hand. He pushes the double arrows until he sees a dark-haired woman helping his drunken mortal carcass up the stairs. She's laughing softly as he joyously sings the Imperial March to her, off-key. He pauses the screen.

"Who is she?"

Zeus smirks. "Watch and learn."

The woman is regal, elegant and stunning in a flowing cotton dress appropriate for the time period. Hades knows he's never seen her before; he would have remembered her. She speaks quietly as she guides him into Rhye's room above the tavern. His mortal body is swaying from side to side on the feather bed as she helps him out of his armor and puts it away. He's complacent, lifting both arms when she tugs on the chain mail shirt. Once that is folded back into the armoire, she returns to him, and attempts to tuck him into bed. He clearly mistook this for interest, as Sir Rhye drunkenly yanks the pale undershirt off his body and reaches for her.

The brunette grimaces on the screen. "Not for all the nectar in Olympus," her deep voice purrs, and Hades identifies her instantly.

"Athena."

The scene plays out. Sir Rhye fumbles towards her, but in his inebriated state, he winds up rolling off the foot of the bed onto the storage chest. Given the curve of the lid, he immediately crashes to the ground, banging his head. His linen pants rip down the side as they catch on the edge of the brass decorative trim. He lays there, bare ass in the air, brow planted against the floor.

Athena rolls her eyes. "How the mighty have fallen." She bends and does her best to return his mortal body to its feet, but it's an effort. "Enough of this nonsense," she mutters and snaps her fingers. Amber light surrounds Rhye, lifting him off the floor and placing him onto the bed. She waves her hand and his torn undergarments disappear. Her eyes crinkle as she grins, using her power to pull the pale quilt over him. "Maybe I spoke to soon," she croons to herself. "Oh well. Too late now. Good luck to you, my friend. See you on the other side." She crosses her arms and disappears in a flash of ochre and sparkling feathers that fade into nothingness a few seconds later.

Hades buries his face in his palms, shaking his head. "I can never look her in the eye again. Ever."

Zeus chuckles. "Come now. It isn't that bad. She clearly liked what she saw."

"How many know?"

"Just the three of us. This is a private screening." Zeus turns to him. "She lost a bet. She didn't think you'd make it past twelve hours out in the woods alone. Proved her wrong though, didn't you?" His brother studies the screen, a bemused expression on his face. "You proved a lot of us wrong."

"Zeus, I'm dead now. What does it matter what I proved or didn't prove? For all I know, having you here and making me watch this is some type of cruel and unusual punishment."

Zeus sighs. "You're not dead, but obviously it's going to take a little more than me telling you that to get it through your thick skull. Give me the remote." Hades hands it over and Zeus fast-forwards for quite some time. He finally stops, and Hades is on the screen again, in his own body, cloaked in darkness and blue flames. The obsidian bident is glowing in his hand, newly formed from the Crystal and his sword. "Here. See for yourself."

Hades can't take his eyes off the image on the screen. The dark cape is silken and rippling from the power he's generating. His entire body is radiating black energy that fades to bluish white as it crackles into subtle flames at his feet. He cannot see his face, but he can see Zelena's, and the sheer terror in her eyes is heart-wrenching. He hears her gasp from within the dome, as does his doppelganger on the screen.

His demon-self turns, and Hades' jaw drops at what he sees. His skin is mottled, the pale grey quickly spreading up his neck and down his arms. But that's not the worst part. His once clear eyes have morphed entirely to black – not a shred of white or his calm blue irises remain. The evil and hatred flickering within them is a deep red, almost impossible to see. But it is there, and it is horrifying.

"Holy flames of Hell," Hades mutters.

"That's about what you were, brother. The personification of Hell."

Within the monitor, Zeus cloaks himself in his golden armor, his power bathing him in a white-gold light that shimmers with streaks of lightning. The two brothers stand before one another, and the scene grows silent as they once again stare each other down.

"You should have killed me," Hades whispers.

Zeus presses the pause button. "I told you, gods can't die. But if you continued to challenge me, I would have imprisoned you for all eternity." He leans back against his chair and stares up at thatched roof, the sunlight peeking through in spots. "I would have hated it. You had come so far." His brother sighs heavily. "I know you won't believe this, but I do regret that you suffered for so long. But you gave me no choice – and I was angry. The moment you killed Father, you forced me to prove I was strong enough to lead. I couldn't show weakness. I had to banish you. And after I did, I couldn't rescind it. Not without losing the respect of the others."

Hades sits up. "You're telling the truth, aren't you?"

"Yes."

"You were worried. About becoming a ruler."

Zeus twists himself upright. "Of course I was! You've seen them. They require a seriously heavy hand. If I don't intimidate them into behaving themselves, they'll send the mortal world into chaos."

Hades blinks. "I… I never thought of it that way."

"Of course not. You see the best in people. You always have."

Hades barks out a laugh. "Now I know I'm in Hell."

Zeus shakes his head. "You still don't get it. Hades, what were you supposed to do in the Underworld? I'll give you a hint – it wasn't trapping the souls there and denying them access to their eternity."

"I didn't trap all of them. Only the interesting ones."

"Brother, please... work with me here."

Hades grins wryly. "All right. I was supposed to guide them. Help them with their unfinished business or whatever you want to call it."

"Right," Zeus nods. "And we both know you never did that."

"Hell, no." That would have been lunacy. "Where are you going with this?"

His brother growls softly in his throat. "Gods, you are so thick-headed sometimes. Remember Henry?"

"Of course I do."

"And what's your opinion of him?"

"He's a good kid."

"That's it?"

"He's destined for greatness. You know that – you saw him. He's already the Author and carries the Heart of the Truest Believer. He's got a pedigree of power a mile long. Did you know he made a bunch of New Yorkers believe in him enough to refuel a piece of the Crystal?" Hades smiles at his memories of the boy. "I so wanted to be there when his power manifested concretely. I swear it's there – it's just under the radar. I don't know what's going to tip it off, but…"

"Hades…"

"…I know it's going to be big. Saving the whole town or something. Maybe one day he'll be able to cross realms. That wouldn't surprise me you know. Merlin could do it."

"Hades!"

"What?"

"He's just a boy. He doesn't have any magic of his own."

"You don't know that. Trust me, I know what I saw and… oh."

Zeus raises a brow. "And what exactly was your role in his life?"

Insight burns bright in Hades' mind, nearly blinding him. "I was his mentor. His protector."

"His guide."

Oh holy hell. Hades shakes his head, covering one eye with his hand. "Boy, when I screw up, I don't go small, do I?"

"Well, if you hadn't kill Father three hours after he appointed you Lord of the Underworld, perhaps he could have explained it to you."

"You really are pissed about that, aren't you? Do you miss him that much? He was kind of a pompous ass."

"I'm pissed that you forced me to choose!"

Hades studies his irate brother, brows furrowed in confusion. "Choose what?"

Zeus waves his arm dramatically, raw emotion in his words. "Between you and them! Dammit, Hades – you were my brother!"

Hades blinks. "Yikes. If I have to go through this every day… wow. Hell is cruel."

Zeus' eyes widen in outrage. "That's it! I'm done with your idiotic denial. Come find me on Olympus when you get tired of behaving like a delusional asshat."

"But I am dead. I felt the scissors cut my thread. Not something I recommend, by the way. Highly unpleasant."

His brother grabs the remote and fast-forwards until the screen shows Hades crumpled on the floor. "Here. Watch and learn, you damned moron." Hades hears the Fates' chanting as he watches Zeus stomps off into the palm trees. Zelena's cry of anguish draws his attention back to the monitor, and he sees her hovering over his body, tears streaming as she holds his lifeless hand.

Onscreen, Zeus places a hand on her shoulder, "You need to let him go."

Zelena snarls back. "I know! Just… give me a minute."

His brother gestures to the Fates, who are still locked in their psychedelic state. Hades sees his thread of life turning grey, the darkness spreading beyond the blue-and-white thread and into the gold. "You misunderstand. If you truly want to save him, let his hand go."

She releases it and Hades' body disintegrates, drifting into dust and leaving the golden outline of his soul. The soul of a god.

Zelena's gasp is thunderous, but his brother cuts her off.

"Please," Zeus says, "we must hurry. If the darkness reaches the beginning of his thread of life, it will claim his soul. He will turn into a wraith, or worse." His brother shakes his head. "Honestly, I'm not sure what will happen."

Henry's voice is clear through the monitor. "He's not dead?"

"Gods cannot die. But they can change form. What he needs now is something to re-establish his soul into its true form. Something worth living for." Zeus crouches to his knees and gently rolls Hades' glowing frame onto its back. "He needs you. Both of you."

Zelena hurries and kneels opposite Zeus on the glittering floor. "Anything."

Henry is still standing, clearly wary. "I don't have magic. What can I do?"

On the screen, Zeus glances at the thread. Hades does as well, noting is it at least one-third grey. His brother's words echo his own thoughts. "We're running out of time. Son, the choice is yours. Decide soon – he won't last much longer."

The teen scowls. "Will he be evil again?"

"He is a god," Zeus says calmly. His brother looks down at Hades' glimmering form, and he smiles softly. "A confused one, but a god nonetheless. I believe he needs you, and you my dear," he says, nodding to Zelena, "to help keep him on the right path. You bring out the best in him, the true spirit of his soul." His brother sighs. "What I did to him centuries ago damaged him. Hopefully this will finally heal those wounds." Blue eyes burn as they peer up at Henry. "I cannot do it alone. Will you help?"

Henry's eyes flash in reply. "I will. What do you need?"

"I need you to believe in him."

One dark brow lifts. "That's it?"

"Believe in who you think he is, and it will remind him of who he wants to be."

"Oh! I can do that. Sounds simple."

Zeus smiles. "Not quite, but you'll see. I need you to kneel by his head and place your hands on either side of his temples. And no matter what happens, don't stop believing and don't let go."

"Okay."

Zeus then turns to Zelena, who already has her hands on Hades' chest. His voice is soft. "You instinctively know. He is lucky to have you. True Love has never existed for a god, you know. He is the first." Zelena's cheeks flush as his brother continues, "We are all rather jealous, to be honest."

"Oh."

"Someday you will understand its significance. But for now, cover Henry's left hand with your right. You are both connected to him, and the connection between the three of us should be enough to remind his soul and restore his body."

Hades watches in amazement as Zelena places her hand over Henry's. "This is a synergy spell. Whatever you're doing will link us to him, and each other, won't it?"

Zeus does the same, letting Henry's cover his and finally covering Zelena's with his own. "To some degree. Honestly, I'm not certain how it will affect either of you. I'll try my best to minimize any pain you might experience, but you must not let go, or we will lose him forever."

Zelena nods. Hades knows exactly what she's thinking, and he loves her for it. He directs his attention to Henry, and is surprised by the seriousness in the boy's expression.

"We will not lose him," Henry states calmly, eyes flashing with that inner light Hades swears is magic. The teen peers down at the glowing soul, the outline of Hades' legs now shaded with grey. "This will work."

"It will, as long as you believe in him.

"I do believe in him. He is my friend."

Zeus nods and turns to Zelena. Hades watches the two share a knowing look – whatever his brother is planning is not nearly as simple as Zeus just implied. They both look down at their hands clasped over Hades' heart. "Keep your power in check. What you offer him is far greater than magic."

"Understood."

Hades is glued to the screen, as the grey haze is spreading into his torso. There are clouds swirling within his soul, darkening, like a storm brewing on the horizon. Was that really him?

His brother's tone exudes confidence. "Ready?" The boy nods and Zelena lifts her chin in reply. They both appear serious, but Hades can see the worry in his brother's eyes as he tilts his head to the side. His expression is clear: It's now or never. The trademark gold and white flames come to life in his hands, creating a fiery white light that travels into both Zelena and Henry. A deep red, the color of blood, starts to shimmer and glow beneath the skin of Zelena's fingers. It spreads outwards, running up her hands and arms to disappear into her chest. The same is happening with Henry, although his light is a stunning yellow-gold. His brother's is the traditional lighter gold of a god, and it too is traveling up his body towards his heart.

All three stiffen as their energies merge and synchronize in their chests, creating a tri-toned stream of power that links them all. Hades gapes at the monitor as a myriad of color starts to spread out from where their hands touch his soul. It is coating him in something so vibrant it is nearly impossible to comprehend. It is like a rainbow splintered, each color shifting and changing from one shade to the next. The monitor is blurred, the resolution trying and failing to display the detail.

What it does display is the tight tension on his brother's face, and both Zelena and Henry are wincing in pain. The multicolored energy hits the grey, and all three flinch as the darkness gradually retreats, overcome by their stronger power. Hades focuses on the Fates, mouths gaping but eerily silent. They are frozen; the fate of Hades' soul hanging in the balance above them. A bright spark is traveling down the thread, erasing the brittle darkness and replacing it with the solid gold it once was.

Henry now has multiple beads of sweat trickling down his brow and Zelena's face is white, her jaw clenched. Zeus' head is tucked into his chest and Hades knows he is calling forth every ounce of power he has. Within seconds the spread of color accelerates and there is a blinding flash that whites the entire monitor for a good three seconds.

When the picture reappears, Hades' body is naked on the floor. Zelena, Henry and Zeus have been tossed backward, each lying good two feet away in the opposite direction to where they were facing. Both Zelena and Henry are unconscious, and Hades starts to worry. What if restoring him actually damaged them? He couldn't bear it.

The Fates are drifting downward, their hair lowering to cascade down their backs. The opaque white in their eyes is clearing, and when their delicate feet touch the floor, they have returned to normal. Hades' threat of life is still swirling about them, the entire strand coated in glimmering gold. It spools tightly upon itself before slamming back into Lachesis' pocket, knocking her backwards into the high wall of the stadium.

"Ha!" Clothos laughs. "Bet that hurt."

Lachesis rights herself before snarling at her sister. "At least I'm strong enough to handle it."

"Says you. Attie, who is stronger, me or Lackey?"

Atropos rolls her eyes and focuses her attention on Zeus as he stumbles to his feet. She bows her head. "It is whole again, my King."

"In it's entirety?"

"Yes."

Zeus nods to her, one arm across his chest. "Thank you, Ladies of Fate."

Clothos grins at Hades' prone form on the floor. "I knew that little thread Zeus gave us would be fun, but not this much fun! That was epic."

Lachesis smacks the blonde's head. "That was supposed to be a secret!"

Atropos sighs. "With your permission, my King, I would take my sisters home."

"Granted. And, thanks for everything… Attie."

The brunette blushes. "Anytime."

Hades is stunned. Zeus gave the Fates his thread? And… Atropos? Really?

"She's different than the other two," his brother murmurs behind him, "especially when you get her alone." Hades' head whirls and Zeus is leaning against the back rail of the gazebo, his eyes bright. He flicks a finger and pauses the scene on the monitor. "I am actually quite fond of her – as long as she isn't predicting the next natural disaster or global war."

Hades stands, the words tight in his chest. "You did it all. For me. From the beginning."

"From the moment the Crystal destroyed you, yes."

Hades wants to ask why, but in his heart, he already knows the answer. They are brothers, and that's what brothers do for each other.

"I can never repay you," Hades mutters. "I didn't deserve it."

Zeus' hand is warm against his shoulder. "I stopped your heart. The least I could do was help start it back up again."

The realization sinks in. "I'm… alive."

Zeus laughs. "Yes! Finally you accept it. You are a god. A whole one now."

Hades flicks his wrist and the nearest palm tree evaporates into smoke. "My power?"

"Is yours."

His heart soars. He can do anything. Go anywhere. He pictures Hawaii and in the blink of an eye, he's standing in the surf on a beach in Maui. He bows his head and he's in his throne room in the Underworld, startling the afterlife out of that poor bozo Arthur. "Don't fret, little man. I'm just visiting." He flicks his wrist and is in Zelena's chambers in Oz. They are empty, a fine coating of dust marking the time since she was here.

Zelena…

Hades returns to the gazebo, his brother chortling at his antics. "Done realm-hopping yet? You'd better take it easy or you'll burn your hair off." He points and Hades waves his hand over the top of his head, noting the flames.

"Whoops." He calms himself and they extinguish. "Zeus… Zelena and Henry – are they okay?"

His brother drops his head. "I didn't want to tell you this, but…"

Hades' heart plummets. "No!"

"… they're both perfectly fine. They're back in Storybrooke."

Instant anger surges through him and he rushes at the grinning Zeus, shoving him off the edge of the gazebo. "That wasn't funny."

Zeus' eyes twinkle. "You sure? I thought it was."

"So, this is how it is going to be now, huh?"

"I've missed you brother. We had such good times."

A thought dimly rises in Hades' mind. "Hey – what happened to Poseidon?"

Zeus' features darken. "He didn't want to get involved."

"Well, I guess I shouldn't be surprised. He and I never got along that well."

"He is our brother, too. He should have been first in line behind me to help you." Zeus' eyes flash, tiny currents of electricity indicative of his rage. "He's a jerk, that's all." Hades leaps back as his brother calls forth a huge bolt of lightning and hurls it into the ocean, the blast sending water at least forty feet into the air. "You hear me, Poseidon? You're a damned lazy asshole and a horrible excuse for a brother!" He turns to Hades. "I have a theory that his dick got moldy from all that time he spends in the ocean. I'll bet it shriveled up into nothing." He extends his pinky finger and curls it. "I mean really – have you see any new mermaids in the past hundred or so years?"

The ground shakes beneath their feet as the skies darken and the sea starts to churn.

"I think he heard you," Hades quips.

Zeus blinks. "Guess so." A wave crashes about a foot away from the front of the gazebo, and the wind whips against the thatched roof, ripping off a huge chunk of straw. "I think it's time we head home, don't you?" His brother's grin is wide. "I'll bet you a night with Zelena I can beat you back to Olympus."

Oh hell no. Hades calls forth his power. "Over my dead body."