"You guys totally bailed on me!" said Kenny standing at the bus stop.
"Dude, I had a ton of homework" explained Kyle.
"What's your excuse?" Kenny asked me.
"I got nothing" I said. "I put in some applications online though." Kenny really wants to do this car thing. It's almost scary at how fixated on this he is.
"I'll take that" Kenny nodded. "Cartman, you alright?" He has been like a zombie this morning. He hasn't been ripping on us or talking reckless. Something is wrong but I don't care enough to ask. I am just glad he is not making an ass of himself.
"Everything is cool" he replied. I just look at him and he squints his eyes at me. I am trying to decide if I even want to address it but as the bus pulls up I decide to let it go.
I am sitting in biology my most hated classes by far. I am paired up with Cartman which is not bad. At least it is someone I know. Sadly he is sucking ass right now because he is not even helping me.
"Cartman, I need you to help with this experiment. I can't do this shit all by myself."
"Whatever Stan. I don't have to do shit."
"Why are you being such an asshole? I don't have time for your bullshit today. Now pick up at step 5 so we can get this done." Cartman pushes my book on the floor and gets up and walks out of the classroom.
"Dude, the fuck!" I yell.
"Mr. Marsh, language" warned the biology teacher Mr. Jones. I roll my eyes as I pick my book up off the floor and get back to the experiment. I wish like hell Kyle was in this class with me. We would have been done by now.
I was so glad when lunch arrived. I was in the middle of telling Kyle what happened when Cartman sat down.
"Please, don't stop talking on my account."
"Shut the fuck up" I bark. "I had to finish that experiment myself. I am use to you being an ass but don't be dragging my grade down in the process."
"You guys need to calm down" said Kenny. "You know how Cartman is." I glare at him before returning my attention to Kyle.
"What are you looking at faggy boy?" he said loudly.
"What are you talking about? I am not even looking at you!" I am starting to get mad now.
"Stan, calm down" said Kyle putting a hand on my arm. "Cartman you are out of line."
"Fuck you Kyle!" He gets up and walks away from the table leaving his lunch untouched.
"What the hell was that?" asked Kenny.
"I don't know" I reply. "He is being more of a douche than ever." We finish up our lunch and go our separate ways. The rest of the day drags on. I was on my way to Kyle's locker when I saw Kenny calling me. "Why are you calling me? I am going to see you in a few minutes."
"I know" said Kenny breathing heavy. "You may want to get your ass over here. Someone vandalized Kyle's locker."
I run my hand over my face. "Man fuck this day. I am on my way." I rush down the hall fighting the traffic going towards the exit of the school. I finally get to Kyle's locker and a small crowd is there with some teachers. One of the teachers is telling the students to move along. I spot Kenny off to the side.
I spot the word fagot on Kyle's locker. Omg, I rush over to him.
"What happened?"
"What do you mean what happened. Someone attacked my locker. It's no big deal." I could tell he was upset but trying not to let it show. "Can I go now?"
"I guess so" replied an art teacher I didn't know. "We are uncertain if you were a target or not. If we have any further questions we will let you know." I could hear the other teacher on the walkie talkie with the janitor requesting a cleanup. It's spray paint. How did you clean that up?
"Come on guys" said Kenny. "We are going to miss the bus." We walk down the now nearly empty halls. "For the record I think Kyle was a target."
"What makes you say that?" I asked.
"I don't see anyone else locker that has been targeted" Kenny said holding his arms open wide.
"It's no big deal" said Kyle. "I mean Cartman has used that word our whole life as much as we say our names." We get outside to our bus just in time. As we climb on I can feel the stares.
"Hey" said Craig. "Sorry what happened to your locker. That is some fucked up shit." Kyle nodded and took a seat at the back and I sat next to him. Kyle is saying anything he is just looking out the window. We get off at our stop and I am eager to speak with Kyle.
Soon as we pair off from Cartman and Kenny I start asking the questions I really wanted to.
"Kyle, I know you are not okay? Why are you trying to act like this is not a big deal?"
He looks at me with tears in his eyes. "I am trying to hold it together until I get home and to my room." The tears were now falling making me feel worse than I already felt. "I hate that word. Now that I know I am gay I hate that word! It's so ugly and does not describe me, it does not define who I am." He is now sobbing. I pull him for a hug trying to sooth him. Once he calms down we begin walking again.
I can tell he is glad his parents are not home. We go straight to his room. I sit down on his bed not knowing what to say.
"I feel like such an idiot for crying over some word"
"It's not just a word. I mean someone did this to your locker for everyone to see." Kyle pulls out his phone and is looking at it.
"It's already on facebook!" he exclaims. Kyle pushes a button to report the photo. I look at his phone and I can see some people commented on his wall asking if he was gay. This is ridiculous. Kyle lays down on his bed and I lay beside him holding him.
"Everything is going to be okay" I tell him. "I'm here." I can feel Kyle stiffen a little. He sits up.
"Those words…I heard them before."
"What do you mean?"
"During our stay at the asylum I heard those words at night. I thought it was just a dream or me talking to myself to calm myself down. Was that you?"
I sit up. "Well yeah-
"Why didn't tell me? You risked getting caught just to sleep beside me? I am so confused."
"I knew you had night terrors but you never seem to not have them when I slept beside you. I study the nurses shifts and checkups. Once I figured it out I started sneaking into your room to ensure you could sleep."
"Me. What about you?"
"It sucked don't get me wrong but I had to make sure you were okay."
"Thank you for doing that. You should have told me. I would have helped you."
"If I got caught I didn't want you to be included in it. It seems like you needed the extra perks more so than me." Kyle smiled and kissed me.
"I have the sweetest boyfriend ever. You have no idea how happy you made me just now."
"Yeah I do. How are your night terrors?"
"Much better since I saw the doctor already. He helped me with some things I could do to help. I mean I feel stupid doing it but it helps." Kyle lays back down and I join him spooning him in the process. We just lay there in silence for a while. I end up drifting off to sleep.
I wake up and look at the clock. Shit it's like almost 5. I am going to have a hard time going to bed tonight. I look and see Kyle is still sleep. My mind drifts to the notebook in the draw. I wonder what he writes in it now? I decide to skip on reading it.
"Kyle" I shake him. He doesn't move so I shake him some more and he finally stirs.
"Omg what time it is?"
"It's almost 5. I need to head home." I swing my feet over the side of the bed to put my shoes on. Kyle hugs me from behind. I place my hand on top of his arm that is holding me. "We can talk later."
"I know. I just needed a hug." I know what he means. I just want to keep hugging him. I stand up and grab my things. Kyle follows me to the door. I can tell that his mom is home. She rushes into the room.
"Kyle, what is this I hear about your locker at school?"
"It's okay mom some kid just being stupid."
"My son should not be treated any different because he dates the same sex." Kyle told his parents? When did he tell them? How long have they known?
"Mom please it's fine. I am going to walk Stan outside for a minute."
"Okay, dinner is almost ready. Your father should be home soon." We walk outside.
"Dude, how long have your parents known?" I ask.
"For a while. Sometime after the accident. They don't know that we are dating if that is what you want to know. I don't want to tell them I have a boyfriend yet. Mom is already in over drive."
"I haven't told my parents. Shelly told me that I should but I am not ready for that yet. I mean I don't even know how to explain it or where to begin."
"Well you got to start somewhere. Just let me know when you are ready. I can help you out." I gave Kyle a hug before heading home. I am starving by time I get in the house. I am so glad to see mom had dinner ready.