- This chapter does contain spoilers for Season 2 Episode 10. Just an FYI (although if you haven't watched that yet… bad rizzles fan! :D)
Jane was staring out the window of her hospital room, looking at downtown Boston spread out below her. She had changed into a pair of sweats and a t-shirt that Maura had brought her. After three days in the hospital her doctor had cleared her to be discharged.
"Are you ready to go ma'am?"
Jane turned away from the window and found a teenage volunteer standing in the doorway with a wheelchair.
"Ma'am?" Jane muttered under her breath. "Uh sure. You know I'm perfectly fine to walk."
"It's hospital policy. I'm sorry." The blonde girl replied, offering a smile.
"Oh all right." Jane replied and limped over to the chair, picking up her bag along the way.
The volunteer wheeled Jane out of her room and to the elevators. As they waited for the elevator to come the girl stood beside Jane.
"Do you have someone waiting to pick you up?" She asked.
"Yeah. My uh…" Jane paused. "My girlfriend went to get the car."
The volunteer nodded in response. If the girlfriend part of that sentence had surprised her she didn't show it.
The elevator came and the volunteer pushed the wheelchair in. "I've got a girlfriend too." The volunteer replied after the doors had shut.
Jane grinned broadly, glancing up at the teen. She returned the smile, showing pink braces on her teeth.
Neither said anything as the elevator doors opened to the main lobby. The volunteer wheeled Jane out to the main circle and Jane saw Maura's car. "It's that one, the Prius." She pointed it out to the girl. Maura got out of the car and came around to open the passenger door for Jane. She gathered up her bag and climbed slowly into the front seat.
"Thank you so much… Allison." Jane said, catching sight of the volunteer's name tag. Allison smiled back and waved as Jane shut the door to the car.
"Ready to go?" Maura asked as she shut the door.
"You have no idea." Jane replied. "I am so tired of sleeping in a hospital bed and eating hospital food and having someone wake me up every four hours to make sure I'm still alive."
Maura grinned at Jane and rolled her eyes before putting the car in motion. "Glad to see you're feeling back to your normal self."
"We're going to your house right?" Jane asked, taking Maura's hand in her own.
"If thats what you want." Maura said.
"I want to be with you." Jane replied. "Besides how else are you going to cater to my every whim?" She asked as she brought Maura's fingers to her mouth, kissing them gently.
"Oh is that what you think is going to happen?" Maura asked, arching an eyebrow at Jane.
"I did get shot, Maura!" Jane huffed indignantly. "In the leg no less!"
Maura smiled and shook her head. "Who would have guessed you would be such a needy patient."
Jane's only reply was to pout over dramatically before squeezing Maura's hand. Jane turned to watch Boston slide by out the window. Although it was the beginning of spring it looked like it might be a very wet and gloomy April.
—
Jane settled easily onto Maura's couch and spent the afternoon watching TV. Maura had gone back to the office in order to finish up a case she was working on. Jane was on leave until her doctor gave her the okay to go back to desk duty, probably in about 2 weeks.
Jane wasn't aware that she had fallen asleep until she woke up, her heart pounding and drenched in sweat. The room was dark and it took her a minute to figure out why she was so startled. She listened to the house around her wondering if she'd been woken up by a sound. As she lay there with her eyes closed, pieces of her dream came back to her. She was back in the room with Hoyt and he had his hands on Maura.
Jane hadn't taken much time after the attack and Hoyt's death to worry about what had happened there. Hoyt was dead and Jane was relieved that he couldn't hurt her any longer. Jane had had nightmares before that night about Hoyt, fairly often. But as soon as he was dead the nightmares had completely stopped. It was like once the man was gone, Jane had felt no fear. She couldn't decide if it was the fact that she'd been shot that had brought the memories back or the fact that she never realized that Maura could be in danger just because she was close to Jane.
Hoyt had always killed couples, murdering one in front of the other. Jane had never realized that Hoyt had decided, for whatever reason, that she and Maura were together long before they were. Seeing him with the scalpel on Maura's neck had been all of the incentive that Jane needed to find the superhuman strength to break free of the guard and get to Hoyt. Her own life being in danger was nothing new to Jane, but seeing him that close to hurting Maura was more than Jane could handle.
Jane felt tears slide down her cheeks at the delayed realization that she was having. Maura was always worried about Jane being hurt but Jane couldn't believe she'd never realized that just because they were in a relationship, Maura could be in some sort of danger, simply because of Jane.
Jane wiped her cheeks with the back of her hands and got up from the couch shakily. She limped over to the kitchen and poured herself a glass of water. As she stood in the kitchen she noticed a picture frame Maura must have placed on the windowsill. It was a picture of Jane and Maura from a year or so ago at Jane's birthday party. Both women were smiling with their arms around each other. Jane wondered when Maura had put that picture up and moved over to pick the frame up, running her finger over the glass.
"Jane?"
Jane turned to see Maura standing in the entryway, she hadn't even heard the blonde open the door.
"Hey." Jane said, her voice cracking from being unused all afternoon.
Maura walked into the kitchen and sat a brown paper bag down on the counter. "I picked up some Indian food on the way home. I didn't feel like cooking."
Jane set the picture frame back down but stayed frozen to the spot by the counter.
"Jane?" Maura asked again, her forehead wrinkling in concern as she turned to face Jane. She reached for Jane's hand and Jane was shaken out of her reverie. "Are you sure you're feeling alright?" Maura asked, her hand still on Jane's forearm.
"Yeah, I just woke up not long before you got here. I didn't mean to fall asleep." Jane said shaking her head, trying to clear it. "Are you checking my pulse?" Jane asked, looking down at Maura's hand on her arm.
Maura dropped Jane's arm. "Uh… Maybe." She said, her cheeks flushing. Jane grinned and moved, pulling the blonde into an embrace.
"That's quite endearing… Even if it is a bit creepy." Jane murmured into Maura's hair.
Maura pulled back and grinned sheepishly at Jane before placing a soft kiss on the brunette's lips. "Should we eat?"
Jane nodded her agreement and pulled out plates for both her and Maura before making her way slowly to the table. Maura brought the takeout containers over and then returned to the kitchen for wine.
"Is your leg bothering you?" Maura asked.
"It's not too bad. It's worse when I move around on it." Jane replied, rubbing around the area where the bullet had been. She had peeked at the scar in the shower the day before. It was only a few centimeters long but there was still some redness and swelling around it.
"You know you could take the painkillers the doctor prescribed." Maura said gently, coming back to the table with two full wine glasses.
"Eh, I don't like that they make me feel all fuzzy." Jane replied and picked up the wine glass. "Besides wine does basically the same thing."
Maura smiled and shook her head slightly. "You know there's no shame in admitting you're in pain."
"I know." Jane said, reaching for a box of jasmine rice. Both women ate in silence for a while.
"I had a dream about Hoyt this afternoon." Jane said quietly as she stared down at her chicken.
Maura looked up from her plate, her faced etched in concern. "You did?"
"First one since that day at the prison." Jane said, rubbing her palms unconsciously. "I don't even know why."
Maura remained quiet, gazing at Jane. She seemed to understand that Jane would tell her when she was ready.
"We were back in that room with him and the guard. He had his hands on you, the scalpel on your neck and I couldn't move. I was frozen. All I could do was lay there and watch him cut you." Jane said, her voice breaking. She blinked quickly, trying to push back the tears that threatened to fall.
Maura reached out and covered Jane's hand with hers, squeezing Jane's fingers. "But you reacted in the moment. You got free and you stabbed him." Maura reassured her. "I know you could do the same thing again if you had to. If I was in danger." Maura said gravely, her eyes intense. "I know you would Jane."
"I don't know." Jane replied.
"I know you could. Besides its a normal response to stress, this feeling of helplessness." Maura assured her, bringing Jane's fingers to her mouth and ghosting her lips over them. "Which is an even better reason for you to take some time off from work. You never stopped after the incident with Hoyt. Maybe you just need some time off to rest and recuperate."
"Weren't you scared?" Jane asked suddenly, staring into Maura's green eyes.
Maura paused a moment before answering. "Yes. Of course. I was terrified. Not just that he would hurt me but that he would make you watch and then hurt you too." Maura's eyes glistened slightly with unshed tears, but she seemed to set her mouth firmly. "But we got through it. You did what you had to and we got out of the situation."
"Aren't you afraid that being close to me will be dangerous?" Jane whispered, barely able to get the words out. She was afraid that Maura would say that she was and realize how unsafe it was to be with Jane.
"No." Maura said simply. "It would be far more dangerous to be away from you. You are the one who saved my life, Jane."
"Yeah but it was my fault you were there at all!" Jane exclaimed, slamming her hand down on the table, rattling the silverware.
"There is not going to be another man like Hoyt, Jane." Maura said calmly. "No one else will be that intent on hurting you or someone close to you."
"You don't know that!" Jane retorted.
"You're right I don't." Maura answered. "But I don't care. Jane don't you see that being close to you means more to me than some false sense of security? No one is truly safe. Horrible things happen everyday. I'd rather be with you if they do end up happening."
Jane simply shook her head as Maura got up and came to kneel next to the brunette. She pulled both of Jane's hands into hers. "Jane I'm here now. You can't get rid of me, even if you wanted to." She said and offered up a weak smile.
Jane stared down at the stunning woman, kneeling next to her. She seemed well aware of what she was doing by being in a relationship with Jane.
"I don't want to get rid of you." Jane replied and pulled Maura up so that she was eye level with Jane. "Thank you." Jane said simply before kissing Maura lovingly. Maura kissed her back, weaving her hands in Jane's hair. She pulled back and rested her forehead against Jane's.
"Are you done eating?" Maura asked and Jane nodded in response. "Let's go to bed." She pulled Jane up by both hands and looped her arm around Jane's shoulders.
Leaning on Maura, the women made their way slowly to Maura's bedroom. Once there Jane sat on the bed and slowly peeled her sweatpants off, leaving just her t-shirt and boy shorts on. She lay back on the bed and watched as Maura unzipped her dress, pulled it off, and dropped it in the clothes hamper. She unclasped her bra and grabbed an old Boston PD shirt of Jane's, slipping it over her head. She came over to the bed and crawled up beside Jane.
"I like that your clothes smell like you." Maura murmured, wrapping her arms around Jane's waist.
"Mmmm." Jane answered in agreement, snuggling beside the blonde and pulling the comforter up around them. "Thank you." She whispered softly.
"For what?" Maura asked, trailing her fingers over Jane's arm.
"For listening, for saying what you said. And for being here."
- Again, I'm sorry for the long time in between updates. I've started school and it's kicking my butt. Thanks again for all the follows and reviews!