Chapter VI
December 16th
Another goddamn nightmare.
Another fucking nightmare.
And this time it was much more vivid.
Unlike the last one, it didn't start off with a light mood. No, not at all. In the beginning Akashi found himself in a deep white mist, unable to make out anything. At first he was rather confused, so he tried moving around, but soon enough found that quite difficult. As soon as the redhead took a step he realized he was on some sort of slippery surface. Come to think of it... It was also rather cold here. Chilly even. A nagging thought entered his mind, and Akashi glanced down to his feet to find that he was indeed on ice.
He was on ice... Somehow that triggered an alarm in the male's head, a dreadful feeling blossoming in his heart. As the realization of his environment sunk in Akashi began slightly trembling, and not from the cold. He feared of what was to come next.
Just then, Akashi's ears caught a muffled banging from below him. Looking down, his eyes widened in horror as his worst nightmare came true. He was under the ice. He was under the ice drowning, desperately banging on it in the hopes of breaking it. His wide from utter fear eyes were looking straight at Akashi, begging him to help him. To save him. To let allow him to breathe.
Without a second thought the redhead dropped to the ground and began frantically pounding on the cold ice, his name leaving his lips in desperate cries. Akashi absolutely had to break the ice, get him out, save him. He couldn't let him drown. He couldn't let him die the same way again when he was here!
He can't breathe, he can't breathe, hE CAN'T BREATHE
Tetsuya can't breathe
The ice wasn't breaking. The ice wasn't even cracking. Nevertheless, Akashi kept banging on it with all his strength, loudly exclaiming his name. His efforts were so utterly pointless, but the redhead refused to give up. Tetsuya was down there, Tetsuya needed his help!
Tetsuya... Tetsuya was drowning.
Eventually, his banging die down. His eyelids began closing and, due to the lack of strength, he began sinking. Slowly disappearing into the cold darkness, leaving Akashi alone. Leaving Akashi alone again.
The male shrieked hysterically as his lover began sinking, he kept pounding on the ruthless ice, wildly calling his name again and again. All he could focus on was saving him. Seeing him again, hearing him again, touching him again. Akashi couldn't let Tetsuya die.
However, fate wasn't so kind.
Slowly, he disappeared into the cold darkness, his body void of any life signs. And even if Akashi understood it was hopeless, that he was too late, he kept pounding and pounding, ignoring the agonizing pain in his chest, the terror in his heart, the hot streaming tears down his face. No... He couldn't let him go.
Tetsuya... Don't!...
Please, don't leave me alone again!
Tetsuya, don't leave me!
Not again!..
Tetsuya!
…
Akashi woke up with a jolt. Based on his slightly sour throat he realized he had been screaming in reality as well. No wonder. That was the most horrifying nightmare Akashi could dream of. Witnessing how he died and not being able to do a damn thing about it.
When Akashi learnt that he had left the world of the living, sure, he felt devastated beyond belief, but his cause of death only made it all that much worse. Drowned in a lake. Most likely he had tried to cross it (perhaps didn't even realize it was a lake, since on that night everything was covered in a rich layer of snow), but at one point the ice broke beneath his feet and, not being able to find the hole again, he got trapped underneath the ice. Even an idiot could understand what happened next.
But honestly... Akashi wished that he had left the world quickly. Of course, it wouldn't had lessened the agonizing pain in his chest at all, but knowing that he had died slowly, fully aware that he was dying, that he was drowning, and understanding that he was all alone with no one to help him... It made it so much worse for Akashi. It wouldn't be wrong to say that the male felt as if he was dying as well. Some days he wished he would never wake up.
Never in his life had Akashi felt so alone.
Why... why did you leave?
Why did you leave me alone?
I cherished you so much...
How could you just...
''How could you just leave?'' a quiet, almost inaudible whisper left the redhead's lips. He didn't even realize he had begun talking. Nevertheless, salty tears kept trailing down his pale face, his body shaking with silent sobs as more broken words kept escaping his mouth. ''Why... Why, Tetsuya?.. Did I not love you enough?.. Why did you leave me alone?..''
Akashi brought his trembling hands to his mouth as chocked cries began escaping his throat. Somewhere deep withing the male understood that he couldn't blame him like that, that he had no say in it, but the rest of the redhead's mind was clouded with immense grief, so he couldn't think straight. He could only focus on that gashing wound in his chest.
However, the male's thoughts were cut off by his phone's sudden ringing. The sharp noise startled the redhead quite a bit and he had to take a few moments to compose himself. When he did, though, an uneasy feeling bloomed in his heart. Akashi was rather certain that it was deep into the night, so no one should have any reason for calling him so early. And indeed, the clock on the nightstand by his bed read 03:26. Who on Earth would...
For some reason Akashi didn't wish to find out.
Nevertheless, the ringing wouldn't stop, so the male had to get up and go retrieve his phone. With heavy legs the redhead stood up from his bed and slowly approached the device. Every moment he wished for it to stop, for it to shut down, so that he could pretend this never happened. However, fate had different plans for him it seemed.
As Akashi's eyes fell onto the bright screen, onto the caller's ID, he felt his blood run cold once more, his heart sinking to his feet.
No, please, not again
…
Tetsuya
XXX-XXX-XXX
…
No, Akashi didn't want this. He couldn't accept this was happening.
He was merely delusional, that's all.
Nevertheless, the ringing wouldn't stop. He had to pick up.
God, oh how much Akashi didn't want to.
Slowly, with trembling fingers, the redhead picked up the phone and pressed Answer.
…
Like last time, at first there was nothing.
Then, quicker than before, the static noise came.
Akashi kept listening to that unnerving sound for a good minute before he realized that once again there was some sort of background noise. Now, however, it was quite louder. And gradually it kept increasing in volume to the point where Akashi could try making it out and understanding what exactly it was. When the realization sunk in, however, the redhead's heart stopped.
''Aah..-Aaahk..-Aahka..-Aaahkaahshi..-''
His name was being called out.
By a person whose voice sounded awfully familiar.
By a person that seemed suffocating.
By a person who couldn't breathe.
A horrified, muffled cry welled up in Akashi's throat as the realization finally sunk in. Such terror spread inside of the male that he didn't register his racing heart in his throat, his body suddenly shaking, his head spinning, his vision growing dark.
Akashi couldn't recall when it was the last time since he had felt such horror.
Thiscannotbehappening
Frantically, the redhead brought the device away from his ear and tried to end the call, but to no avail. The phone itself wouldn't shut off no matter what he did. Finally Akashi threw the device to the ground with all his might, but even that didn't manage to turn it off. Not knowing what else he could do, the redhead dashed for the exit. He couldn't stay in this room any longer. He had to get out, he needed to get out.
That horrific sound was driving him insane.
However, Akashi's task proved the be a difficult one when he had finally reached his destination.
The door wouldn't open. It was as if it was locked, even though Akashi clearly remembers not locking it.
There wasn't even a key there.
Nevertheless, the fact was still undeniable.
Akashi was locked inside his own room.
And no matter how hard he pounded on the door, no matter how hard he tried to break it, it wouldn't budge.
He couldn't get out.
And that damned noise wouldn't stop.
…
Akashi leaned against the unmoving door and dropped down. Afterwards he tightly placed his hands over his ears in the hopes of blocking that horrible sound, that terrifying voice. It was driving him crazy, it was driving him mad, he couldn't take this anymore, he couldn't-
Stop this
Please, stop
God, just stop!
Stop!
''Stop!'' Akashi shrieked out without even realizing, shutting his eyes tightly in the process. ''Stop! Stop! Stop!''
And unexpectedly, it did.
That disturbing noise cut off immediately after the redhead had begged for it to cease.
And for awhile, nothing could be heard. The only sound in the room was Akashi's pounding heart, indicating that he was still alive, even though not so well.
The male had enough of this.
Slowly, he opened up his eyes and glanced at the nightstand besides his bed where the bottle of sleeping pills laid. He couldn't risk anything else happening while he was still awake. He had to lose his consciousness now.
With that thought the redhead with great difficulty began crawling back to the nightstand, hoping with all his heart that his phone wouldn't ring again. Akashi feared he might not be able to take it at all if it did. At least while he was awake and fully aware. This night was already too stressful for him to handle.
However, what made Akashi's heart freeze and forced his shaking hand to take the bottle of pills quicker was a whole different sound.
A broken melody he knew all too well began playing from underneath his bed. It was quiet, yes, but cut through the silence like a knife nonetheless. Any other person would most likely wonder about such a strange phenomenon, since the music box was hidden underneath Akashi's bed, but the redhead was already far too distressed. He only kept repeating that the music was just his imagination, that he was just tired and started hallucinating, that everything was fine as his trembling fingers tried to open the lid of that bottle.
Finally succeeding in doing so, the male shook out a few (he didn't count how many) pills and threw all of them into his mouth.
'That's too many!'
It was already late for such warnings, since neither Akashi cared nor could he take back those pills now, which were traveling down his throat. Afterwards the redhead began crawling away from the bed as much as he could, until he reached the furthest corner. Slumping down against it, shutting his eyes and tightly covering his ears, he waited until those pills began taking effect.
It's just my imagination, it's just my imagination, this isn't real, I'm only hallucinating, it's just-
After what seemed like an eternity, Akashi's hearing began muffling, his thoughts, consciousness fading into the welcoming darkness. He pretended that broken music was merely his imagination until the very end though. He pretended...
that he couldn't hear that quiet voice once again, right before he lost his consciousness.
...
"Aahkahshii..-kuhn..-I aahm so..-rryy..-I'm..- so..-sorr-ryy.."
...