Title: Pain

Characters: Trisha Elric

Genre: Angst/Hurt without Comfort

Type: Cannon Universe

Words: 1,091 (without AN or Intro)

Pain:

(noun) physical suffering or distress, as due to injury, illness, etc

(noun) mental or emotional suffering or torment

(noun) an annoying or troublesome person or thing

She liked to say that she was happy. She liked to say that she was content with her life and that she had no regrets. She liked to say it was easy to laugh, smiling was effortless, and she looked forward to the possibilities of each new day when the sun rose from its resting position.

When that sun rose in the sky, she couldn't see the brightness of the cheerful rays that promised a new day with joyous outcomes. She couldn't see the illuminating golden light that brought such simple happiness to most of the habitants in her small town. When she stared at the shining sun, she saw a large dead ball of fire and the longer it stayed in the glaring blueness that they called the sky, the more her burdens increased. Her shoulders already felt heavy and the longer she continued to live the heavier the burdens became.

By society's standards, she didn't have a reason, a purpose to live. She was a lonely single mother, jobless with no money. Her husband had abandoned her years ago only leaving her two sons and a house in need of repair. She had very little education and not enough time. The way she viewed it, she had absolutely no future, no way to move forward from her low futureless position.

Yet what was her reason to continue living. At first, she would have said it for her two little boys. Edward was the carbon copy of his father. He had the same long golden blond hair and eyes that are shade brighter which expressed his every emotion he felt. He had the same lean muscular build with the short height accompanied by the same athletic instincts that lead him to excel in any sport he tried. He was naturally talented, understanding everything the second he saw it, a genius in anyone else's eyes. He had even inherited her husband's stubbornness, especially with the way he argued with her every night to drink his glass of milk. .

In those eyes, he held the burning determination that she had only seen in his father, her beloved husband. She knew if something happened to her, she could rely on him to take care of Alphonse; to even go to the extent of protecting him with his life just as his father had once proclaimed to her. He seemed liked the kind of person who would fight to survive, to the very last second, never regretting any of his past decisions.

She knew as a mother she shouldn't have thought this way but she hated her first child. He reminded her everyday of a past now distantly out of reach. Every time she glanced at his small frame, she had to swallow the memories and force a smile on her face. As a mother and a human being she despised herself for these feelings, yet after several attempts to discourage the feelings, she found it was a futile effort.

Alphonse, her second child, she would admit guiltily was her favorite. He looked most like her, an oval shaped jaw with a mop of messy light brown hair and average brown eyes. He was very mellow, studying his surroundings with calculative eyes. Unlike her first son, he needed steps to understand the world around him, processing large pieces of information in order to come up with the best possible outcome. Sometimes she regretted not teaching him chess when she had the energy.

She stood over their bed, staring at them with such sad eyes as the sun crawled down the spine of the sky. She wished she could be the mother they needed. She wished she could be a mother who loved them unconditionally, who was never afraid to wrap them in a hug and just enjoy them for what they were, her beautiful precious children.

She wished she was stronger so if they were ever in trouble they could depend on her when they were lost. She wished she was a mother who could hold no prejudiced toward them and would only look at them with accepting warm eyes. She wished she could be the mother who lead them toward the right path, letting them decided their own strong beliefs so when she had to let them go, she knew they would be safe no matter what trouble they got into.

That was not the case however. She had managed to trick them with an illusion and they readily accepted it without any resistance or defiance.

Edward shifted in his sleep, stretching his arm so he could grab his little brother's hand. Alphonse accepted the hand, placing it on his heart, its strong beat singing into the silence of the cold winter night.

Her existence was pain itself. She was the very form of agonizing pain caused by love. She quietly sat in a home, in the middle of an unknown little town, waiting for a husband to come running back to her door. Everyone knew he wasn't coming back; even her son, Edward, was convinced that he was gone for good.

Her head had already accepted that fact but her heart still continued to refuse to accept reality. No one saw his pained look when he walked away from her, the crestfallen gaze that ripped her apart. No one saw him pause as he walked away, as if pondering if he was making the right decision or not. No one saw him turn around, two tears slivering down his face, before he finalized his decision and walked away.

It didn't matter if she was in pain, it didn't matter if she was lonely. It didn't matter how much she screamed or yelled or cried. It didn't matter how many times the sun discouraged her or how guilty she felt for not being able to love her sons to her full capability. She knew, deep inside her soul, he would come back and she would wait till the end of the world for him, for the day when she would once again hold him in her arms.

Brushing a strand of golden hair away from Edward's closed eyes, she silently cried. In the silence of her bedroom, watching her boys, as they rested in ignorant sleep; she begged for their forgiveness. She had chosen her path and quietly she would watch as they choose theirs.

I feel as a character Trisha Elric is one of the most unappreciated important character in the anime/manga. From what I've seen, we either get Edward and Alphonse's point of view (mostly Edward's) and the one time we got to see Van's Hohenheim's life where we briefly see Trisha. So I thought it was about time someone did her point of view on things. You can either agree or disagree, as long as your maybe thinking about it I'm happy. You still have that challenge from the last drabble, so I want to see some answers. By the way if your wondering why these are all dark all of sudden, I'm sorry. After the next drabble (tears by the way) I will write a fluffy warm one.